Chapter Six: Fears and Doubts
Walking down the hall towards Tara's room, Faith felt her irritation at Kennedy and Willow. She was angry at Willow for continually hurting Tara even if Willow was unaware of it, and she was angry with Kennedy for enjoying Tara's pain. As she walked further down the hall, she was surprised to see Tara leaning her forehead against her bedroom door, her body shaking noticeably.
"T?" Faith said, walking towards her. When Tara didn't respond or react to Faith's voice, Faith frowned and moved closer. "Tara?" she tried again, this time reaching out to touch Tara's arm.
Tara flinched at the unexpected contact, jerking away from Faith and turning to face her friend, her eyes unclear as she stared blindly at Faith. "Don't touch me!" she yelled, backing frantically away from Faith.
"Tara? Tara, it's me. Faith," Faith told her, holding her hands up in a sign of peace, hoping Tara would calm down enough to look at her.
After a few minutes, Tara's eyes cleared and she looked into Faith's concerned brown eyes. "Faith?" she whispered, confused.
"Yeah. It's me. You okay, T?" When Tara didn't answer, Faith took a cautious step towards her, gently resting a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"I'm afraid," Tara whispered, not looking at Faith. "I'm so afraid, Faith."
"What happened?" Faith asked, knowing Tara's fears wouldn't come from nowhere.
"I'm not sure. All I remember is arguing with Kennedy about Willow then nothing. I guess the argument caused me to have a panic attack and I shut down. I don't even remember walking the rest of the way to my room. Kennedy stopped me a little outside the kitchen," Tara remembered, trying to understand.
"What were you arguing about? Maybe that will help you figure it out?" Faith reasoned, watching her friend with a worried look in her eyes.
"Willow...I think...I mean I know her name came up, but I'm not sure. I just remember being angry. Something about sounds Willow makes," Tara said, confused by her own jumbled memories.
"What kind of sounds, T?"
"I don't know. I don't even remember what we were arguing about. I just remember being angry and arguing about Willow for some reason. That's it, Faith. That's all."
Faith frowned but nodded, trying to remember some of the things Tara had told her about her psychotic ex-girlfriend. "Didn't you use to argue with your ex about Willow? She didn't like that you had feelings for her or something?" Faith asked.
Tara nodded. "Yeah. She always hated it that I loved Willow and not her. She would always tell me I belonged to her," Tara whispered, shivering as she remembered the words and the look that always came with them.
"That's probably what caused it then," Faith said, pulling Tara into a hug. "Let's go out tonight. Have some fun."
Tara gave Faith a weak smile as she pulled out of the hug and shook her head. "No thanks. I'm not in the mood to party," Tara told her.
"All the more reason to go out. Kennedy and Willow are going out 'cause Kennedy feels cooped up in this house. Let's go out. We can drink a little, dance a little, and have some fun.
Tara thought about it for a few minutes and smiled at Faith. "Alright. Let's do it. What time?"
"We can leave around 8. Sound good?"
Tara nodded and stepped back from Faith. "Yeah. I'll be ready. Thanks, Faith," Tara said, opening her door and walking in to get some sleep.
That night, Tara and Faith headed out to the bar, intent on washing away all bad thoughts and memories from their minds and wanting to focus on the present. Tara sat at the bar, drinking while watching Faith on the dance floor, dancing with any guy or girl that showed interest. After a couple of drinks, Tara joined her friend, intent on losing herself to both the alcoholic buzz and the sound of the music.
As the night came to an end, the two went back to the council house both happily lost in their alcoholic haze. As they walked into the house, Tara stumbled her way down the hall, not caring about the noise she was making. Faith had moved Tara to the room across the hall from her, feeling guilty about Tara having to hear Willow and Kennedy the night before.
As they moved towards their room, they both kept stumbling into one another, nearly knocking the other one on the ground. When they finally made it to their rooms, Faith started to walk into her room but was surprised when Tara pushed her back against the door and captured her lips in a searing kiss.
As tongues started to duel and hands started to roam, Faith was surprised when the door to her room opened and the two of them fell onto the floor in a tangle of limbs. Tara quickly kicked the door closed, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so.
While their minds seem to get lost in the new sensations, a sudden thought came to Faith's mind that made her pull back from the kiss.
"T, we shouldn't do this," Faith panted, groaning when Tara's lips moved to her neck as she spoke.
"Why not?" Tara asked, nipping at the skin beneath her neck before moving her lips back towards Faith's.
Unable to come up with an answer that made sense in her scrambled mind, Faith kissed Tara back, losing herself to the sensations overcoming her body.
A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 for reading this chapter over to make sure it works.