Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

Behind the Mask

Beast Boy sat on the couch in the common room, staring blankly at the television, his mind wandering elsewhere. He was jerked back to reality by someone calling his name. Beast Boy blinked and was startled to find Starfire peering worriedly at him.

"Friend? Are you feeling the alright?" Starfire questioned.

Beast Boy recovered quickly. "Um, yeah! I was just a little…err, distracted."

"Oh. I see." Starfire said solemnly. "Friend, why are you in the glorforgs?"

Beast Boy stared at Starfire in confusion. "Uh, what frogs?"

Starfire joined Beast Boy on the couch and bit her lip, seeming unsure how to explain. "You seem unhappy, friend. You do not do the laughing and smiling as often as you do. And you have also stopped the pranking, which you enjoy greatly. You do not look happy anymore when you play the videogames with Cyborg or when you do the wrestling of the arms with Robin. I have also done the noticing that you ceased doing the dances and songs of victory after a successful battle."

Beast Boy was surprised that Starfire of all people noticed and pointed out all these things. He should have expected this, though. Starfire may be naïve to human customs, but she was experienced in dealing with emotions and detecting odd behavior.

Beast Boy sighed. "Star-, look, it's kinda hard to explain. It's just…complicated, okay?"

Starfire's only response was to cross her arms and give him a stare that clearly said 'I'm not leaving until you tell me what is going on'. She most probably picked that up from Robin, Beast Boy thought.

Beast Boy ran a hand through his hair, trying to sort out his thoughts. "I'm just going through a tough time, Star. Really, it's nothing."

"It is not 'nothing'! If you are experiencing problems, why did you not come to us for help? We are your friends, and we would gladly help you!" Starfire said, looking half-angry and half-upset.

Beast Boy shook his head. "You can't help. None of you can. This is more of a mental problem. I-, my emotions, they're getting out of whack."

"We can still help! Raven-"

"-can't do anything! You don't understand, Starfire! This is-, you know what? Forget it. I'm not even supposed to tell you anything. I'm not supposed to tell anyone anything! I can deal with this. Thanks for the concern Star, but I got this under control." Beast Boy said, closing his eyes briefly and trying to calm down.

Starfire gazed at Beast Boy sadly. "No, friend, I do not think that you do. If you just-"

Beast Boy cut her off. "No, stop. Just leave it alone, Starfire. Don't tell anyone about this. Pretend this conversation never happened. Please." Beast Boy added.

Starfire looked like she wanted to pursue this subject further, but could not bear to see her teammate look at her so desperately and pleadingly. Starfire sighed and reluctantly relented. "Very well. I promise you by the moons of Centauri that I shall not tell anyone about this, not even Robin."

Beast Boy looked relieved. "Thanks, Star." He got up and proceeded to exit the common room.

"However," Starfire raised her voice and getting up as well. "I am sure it will not be too long before our friends notice your problem."

One of them already has, Beast Boy thought silently, thinking back to his conversation with Cyborg the other day. Beast Boy kept walking, eager to get away from Starfire. He just couldn't bear to see her look of pity and sympathy. He always couldn't stand it when people gave him that look. It was nearly as bad as the look of disgust he often received from civilians.

In his room, Beast Boy was pacing up and down, hitting his head with his hand every few seconds.

"What was I thinking?! I should have just made up an excuse or something, but nooo, I went and tell her that I had a problem! I was lucky that Starfire confronted me about this. Imagine if it's Cyborg or Raven or even worse, Robin. He'll probably interrogate me and make some stupid conclusion that Slade have something to do with this. Urgh! I should have just kept my big fat mouth shut! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"Starfire will probably tell the other Titans everything before midnight! No, that's too optimistic, she'd tell them in an hour-no, half an hour-no! Ten minutes! I know she promised not to tell, but ugh, come on, this is Starfire, she can't keep secrets, she could just accidentally blurt it out. Gah! I am doomed!" Beast Boy proclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

Beast Boy stopped pacing and sat down on the floor. He had to think of a reasonable excuse if-no, when the Titans confront him about his weird behavior. He needed a Beast Boy excuse. Something that have to do with tofu, videogames, girls, television and stuff like that. Of all times to be running low on ideas, it had to be now, of all times. Great. Of course, according to the Titans, he didn't have the brain capacity to create ideas.

Beast Boy slapped his head again. "See, that's why I'm so messed up in the first place. I always let other people insults get to me. I'm really pathetic, aren't I? I got to stop this. I need to focus. If I focused more, I wouldn't even get caught in the first place and I didn't have to go through all this trouble."

Beast Boy sighed and grabbed a stray piece of paper from the floor and took out a pen from his pocket. He started scribbling down possible excuses he could use, glancing at the door and clock every so often, almost expecting the Titans to barge in any minute.

I never thought that this day would come. That the possibility that someone would find out about my mask, Beast Boy thought.

It was the perfect mask. Flawless. Unbreakable. Impenetrable. But now…it was cracking. Slowly but surely. He didn't have the strength to pretend anymore. That's why if the Titans asked him, pushed him for answers, he'd probably give it away in an instant. He was breaking. The perfect mask of Beast Boy was breaking. And soon, it will fade away to nothingness, just like the other masks he had built during his miserable life.

Why? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?! I can stand pain, physical pain, but not this. This is killing me! Where do I belong in this world? Where?! … Nowhere. I will forever be a shadow, invisible, worthless, not fit to be seen by the eyes of mankind.