Chapter Nine: Feelings
Previously in I Want You Mine...
Why would the thought of Tara kissing someone make me so upset? Is it because I like having her all to myself? No. I want Tara to be happy. I want Tara to be happy with me.
Willow paced back and forth in her room, waiting for the sound of Kennedy walking down the hall. She needed to know if she loved Kennedy or if there was at least the potential of love. The sound of footsteps coming down the hall caught Willow's attention and she rushed to her door and pulled it open, grateful to see Kennedy standing outside her door with her hand raised.
Once her eyes set on Kennedy, she reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into the room and pushing her back against the door to close it, capturing Kennedy's lips in a desperate kiss. She needed to feel something: passion, want, love, anything that would prove to her that her relationship with Kennedy wasn't just a way to make Tara jealous.
Frowning as she realized she didn't feel anything for the woman she had spent the last six months with, Willow pulled away and walked over to her bed.
"What is it?" Kennedy asked, confused on why Willow stopped the heated kiss.
"Nothing, just a lot on my mind," Willow said, sitting down on her bed and putting her head in her hands.
"Want to talk about it?" Kennedy asked, walking over to sit next to her.
"No. I just need some time to think," Willow told her, not lifting her head. "Is it already if we stayed in different rooms tonight?"
Kennedy frowned but nodded. "Alright, yeah. Whatever," she said, walking out of the room in irritation.
Willow ignored the anger in her girlfriend's voice and lifted her head when the door to her room slammed shut. As Willow stared at the wall of her room, she considered her options. One: she could try to force herself to feel something with Kennedy again. Two: she could call Buffy and talk to her about not feeling anything for Kennedy anymore, or three: she could kiss Tara and see what she feels from that.
Frowning, Willow thought through the options a couple of times. She didn't want to call Buffy because she knew Buffy would tell her to break things off with Kennedy, and she wasn't sure she wanted too. If she kissed Tara, then she'd have to break up with Kennedy cause she didn't want to be a cheater.
Deciding she'd try to force her emotions for Kennedy, Willow stood up and walked over to Kennedy's room. Knocking on the door, Willow waited for Kennedy to open the door and gave her a soft smile. "Can I sleep here tonight?" she asked, waiting for Kennedy's nod before walking into the room.
Sitting outside under the trees the next morning, Tara was staring up at the sky, letting her mind wander. She was still bothered by her fight with Willow and wanted to fix things with her friend, but knew Willow needed time. Closing her eyes, she let the summer breeze calm her.
"Hey," a familiar voice said, causing Tara to open her eyes and squint against the sun.
"Hi," Tara responded, seeing Willow standing before her.
"Can we talk?" Willow asked, shifting her feet back and forth nervously.
"Of course," Tara said, moving over so Willow could sit down next to her beneath the tree.
Once situated, Willow turned to look at Tara. "I'm sorry," she whispered, looking into her best friend's blue eyes through her lashes.
"You don't have to apologize, Willow. You were right. I have been keeping secrets from you, but I didn't and still don't know how to tell you. I'm not sure I'm ready to tell you to be honest," Tara admitted, looking down at her hands.
"I know. I understand that, Tara," Willow told her, reaching out to touch her best friend's arm in comfort. "I get that there are just some things you can't tell me."
Tara looked up at Willow again, giving her a shy smile. "Thanks," she replied, looking into the green eyes that she loved so much.
Willow nodded, unable to respond because she was drowning in the pools of blue before her. "Tara," Willow whispered, leaning in towards her.
"Yeah?" Tara said softly, afraid to break the silence and ruin the moment.
"What is this?" Willow muttered, leaning even closer.
"I don't know," Tara whispered back, waiting until Willow leaned forward and closed the distance between them, brushing their lips together in a soft kiss.
The kiss was soft for a few moments, both afraid to deepen it until Tara decided to give into her emotions and moved a hand into Willow's auburn locks and pulled the redhead against her as she deepened the kiss. Willow moaned softly into Tara's mouth and moved her own hands into the golden locks of silk. They stayed like that for a few moments, before gently pulling back to look at each other in silence. Willow was surprised by how dark the blue eyes before her had become in the time that they had kissed one another, and it was that thought that pulled her back to reality as she realized exactly what she had done. Jumping up, Willow stumbled away from Tara before sprinting back to her room, leaving Tara staring after her as hurt and confusion warred inside her.
A/N: Thank you Gimpy72 for reading this over and giving advice. Sorry the chapter is short but you did get a Willow/Tara kiss.