A/N: Thank you all again so so much for the reviews, especially April29Roses - as always very inspiring reviews! Some Gaius interaction just for you. Promise to up the angst a bit more in the next chapter. Im so mean. For now. Enjoy. And R&R as always...

Chapter 4

Merlin was finally in his own bed, the padding of blankets and pillows around and under him made his cot barely visible under the mounds. Many of the knights had offered their cloaks for extra bedding, but Gaius had declined and sent most of them away already. Only Gwaine now remained behind with Arthur and Gwen crowding the small room.

"What happens now?" Gwaine was the one pacing this time, not that there was room to do so. "I mean, what happens if he, you know, cant move"

Gaius sighed, "I have only seen this injury a handful of times in my days as physician, and yes it is likely he will not gain his movements back, though not completely impossible." Gaius pulled his gaze away from his ward, knowing for well that many soldiers he'd treated with this injury had been sent into madness, eventually begging to be put out of their misery.

"I think we should leave him to rest for now" Gaius herded the three out of the room, finally giving the warlock some space, not that he knew it. The physician knew that without a full vial of the sleeping draught the boy would be waking soon enough and he didn't want anyone around while he explained his predicament. It took over half an hour until he eventually managed to rid his chambers of the three of them. All had vowed to be back later that evening though.

As Gaius re entered Merlin's room he found the servant was wide awake, his uninjured eye staring up at the ceiling rafters blinking away the tears which rolled steadily down his cheek to the sheets.

"Oh my boy" Gaius brought himself up to sit next to the warlocks bed and he gathered some of his own cloak wiping away the moisture from his wards cheek.

"This is it isn't it?" Merlin's voice cracked considerably, but Gaius could tell he was far more lucid this time upon waking. "I've failed my destiny, I'm paralyzed aren't I?" He shifted his head to the side to look at his mentor in the eye.

The physician hissed in worry, trying to steady the servants head but Merlin rolled his eye and sniffed. "I don't know why your bothering, the damage is already done is it not?"

"Not necessarily" Gaius finally answered after a long pause. "If we can keep your neck as still as possible, there is a chance you could regain some movement and function"

"But not all?" the warlock murmured but got no response. "Gaius?"

"It is unlikely"

"Then how am I supposed to fore fill my destiny?" Merlin's brows furrowed and more tears soaked down into the pillows. "Just lay here guiding Arthur by stupid magical balls of light all day"

"I don't know Merlin" Gaius eyed him carefully, "destiny's are odd things, there may be a reason why this has occurred and why now. None of us know for certain what this life has planned for us."

"But it's my destiny to protect him" the warlock almost shouted the last statement, pulled a fist with his left hand, clenching and unclenching it over and over.

"At least you have some movement" the physician watched. "That must be some sort of blessing"

Blessing? Merlin mused, how could laying on your back completely helpless to the world and to his master be a blessing? He was useless, against the evil that they faced, against Morgana. He shuddered then, though unsure how it was possible to.

"My magic!" he finally blurted, "surely, I can heal myself with magic"

Gaius frowned, "you know how you are with healing spells Merlin, I'm not sure something so serious as this can be healed with magic?"

He was ignored. "Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare"

"Merlin, no"

The warlocks eyes flashed molten gold and he felt his body warm to the familiar feeling, the tendrils of magic reaching out to his injuries. His body shook involuntarily at the effort and suddenly blinding pain split through his head making him cry out in agony.

Gaius's eyebrow hitch up a notch and he looked at his ward with a glare. "You know better than to try and heal yourself in the condition your in."

Merlin looked sheepish but said nothing.

"I'm going to make you some food, It's about time you had something to eat" Gaius patted the boy on the shoulder and went to take his leave.

"I'm not hungry" the warlock closed his eye and took a shuddering breath. The physician chose to ignore the statement and returned to the main room to cook some broth.

Merlin lay awake for a long time, listening to the sounds of his mentor busying about, pots clanging and shuffling feet. He was clearly cooking up potions as well as food by the sounds of it. The warlock's eye wondered about the bare room, taking in what few possessions he actually owned, finally his eyes ended up on his left hand. He watched as he was able to clench it into a fist and then back out again. He spent some time doing this, marveling at the actual movement. Gaius had taught him many a time about the anatomy of the body and he was suddenly aware of what intricate structures hands truly were. He shakily raised his first finger and then second, finding the rest rather stubborn in movement. He then tried his wrist, gently and slowly he managed to lift it all but a centimeter from the bedclothes. He smiled. Then shifting his gaze to his right hand he tried again. Nothing, dead. He glowered at it, as if willing the limb to move but nothing happened. Gritting his teeth he concentrated hard, frowning so hard that his injured face started to throb. As he let out a frustrated growl a jug across the room exploded and shattered into a hundred pieces, littering the floor with shards.

"Merlin?" Gaius raced through the door followed by a second figure. Little had the warlock realized that the King had returned to his chambers.

"What happened?" Arthur looked down at the fragments spread across the stone flooring.

"I... I don't know" Merlin stammered and Gaius eyed him with an understanding look. "It just fell, probably a gust of wind"

Arthur pulled a face the servant could not read and looked over at the closed window. "Gaius has made you some dinner" He finally said, shaking off the confused stare. "I suggest you eat some of it?"

"Has Gaius been talking to you?" the warlock looked over as his mentor disappeared out of the room and returned with a bowl of stew. "I said I wasn't hungry."

"I'm your King, and I'm not asking." Arthur took a seat by his friends bed and took the bowl from the physician. Merlin rolled his eye and exhaled loudly. "And it's not every day you get your King to feed you"

The servant frowned as Arthur pulled a spoonful from the bowl and brought it to his mouth. Merlin took it and let the meat melt into his tongue before swallowing. "Have you lost your mind?" he asked as Arthur filled up another spoon's worth, "because last time I looked I didn't think you cared"

The King scoffed, pushing the food into his friends mouth a little less gently this time. "I'm not completely heartless as you say Merlin"

"Your worried about me aren't you?" the warlock said through a mouthful of food.

"No" Arthur dropped the spoon and pulled another unreadable face, "Just wouldn't want you to starve to death, not that you eat much as it is"

"Whatever" Merlin took another bite. "I don't believe you"

"Ok" the King finally sighed. "It's true, I feel partly responsible for what happened, I shouldn't have made you ride my new horse, or should I say used to be"

"You haven't done anything with her have you?" Merlin's concerned tone pulled Arthurs eyes to his. "It wasn't her fault"

Arthur hummed and pulled more food up. "don't worry, Tyr said he will be sending her on as a non riding horse, to be used around the city. I haven't sent her to her death though it was tempting."

Merlin rolled his eyes again but continued to eat slowly. He stomach growled at the small meal it was being fed and thankfully Gaius's draught from earlier seemed to have quelled his need to vomit, for now.

"I need you to get better" Arthur finally said, scraping the remains in the bowl. "I can't have you laying about here all day while my room goes to ruin"

"Arthur but..."

The King raised a hand to stop him further. "I don't want to hear it." he cried, "whatever you, or Gaius think. I'm going to get you better. Whatever it takes."

Merlin smiled properly then. He really did care didn't he.