A/N: SCM walks onstage. Since he's never likely going to be able to do it in real life, it's the stage at Carnegie Hall
"Ahem. The drop in is a parody. Regardless to how he got the crap beaten out of him in Akanema, I do not hate the implied character, merely poking fun at over twenty years and counting worth of bad fanfics about him and co. I'm honestly planning to do a him/her-centric fic in future, but right now, it's fun to poke at the Mary-Sue-fied version of him that fan wank has generated. If it makes you feel any better, consider this a jab at Evil!that guy. Please don't flame me for it. If you have been offended… well, I apologize, but you can't please everybody. And I bet better than even odds you'll look back on this in a few years and think 'you know, maybe he has a point'. Oh, and his series isn't going to be in this fic, except as gags and other parodies. I want a sex-changing guy with a harem, I'm using Kämpfer. It has canonical lesbians! Plus the guns are cool."
We now return you to your regularly scheduled Authors notes.
A light interlude of random characters, all in chronological order, all after last chap's events. Still with story significance, though. I thought it was time for something a little different…
Recommend you read Confessions of a Lolicon to understand some things. That can be regarded as canon to this fic. Same for Temptation.
OverMasteris to blame for inspiring the father/daughter scene. You'll know which one when you read it. Check out his fics if you like my brand of crack pairings. TvTropes, dattebayo!
...
Takamachi Nanoha of 2814
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Chapter 18: Interlude 1: Moments in the Limelight
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. If I did… well, this would all be canon. WARNING: MAY CAUSE HEAD EXPLOSION!
...
It is a sad but true fact that despite Tokyo having a lot of Magical Girls, Metahumans and powered-Armor wearers, very few of them actually fight crime. Well, to be fair, few of them do it regularly, or a lot. After all, the Tokyo Police do relatively solid work– relative, at least, to Gotham City– and between the Invaders, this year's new magical empire intent on taking over peoples hearts/dreams/crystals/kitchen sink, the giant monsters, the not-so-giant monsters, and the regular-sized monsters who haven't taken the hint that humans have nukes, and whatever else that comes along, the powered-types are kind busy.
That had been changing over the past year, however.
They called themselves Team Dark Smoke Lightning Strike Octopus Chuck Norris. And they were ninja. And not just lame ninja, BADASS NINJA! With GUNS! MACHINE GUNS! And as soon as they had the money, Lex-Corp brand Laser Katanas!
They clearly did not do their research. Sivana Industries made the Laser Katanas, not Lex-Corp.
To their credit, they actually were ninja. Ninja usually fell under two major groups, with three categories in all. There was the first category of the ninja who had brains. One category either took up other jobs because, let's be fair, being a ninja doesn't pay much in this day and age, and kept up the training as a weekend exercise thing or as a matter of pride and an actual respect for the martial arts, all the while becoming police, or soldiers, or accountants, or bakers, or toymakers, or anything else BUT a full time ninja.
The second category were those who were full time ninja because, let's again be fair, there ARE those who'd pay an obscene amount of money to have ninja in their goon squad. Yakuza, Daidouji Tomoyo, any number of overly financed cults, Daidouji Tomoyo, the League of Assassins (which had good benefits, but lousy working conditions), Daidouji Tomoyo, so-called 'elite' military formations, Daidouji Tomoyo, the Mythbusters, Daidouji Tomoyo, Mahora Academy and Daidouji Tomoyo employed ninja, just to name a few. Take notes, this might be important.
And then there was the third category. The ones who'd watched too many bad ninja movies made in Japan, even worse ninja movies made in the United States, Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles, La Blue Girl and it's ilk, and thought Naruto was an accurate depiction of ninjutsu (to be fair again, in not-so-few clans, it was). The ones who banded together and made up group names like Team Dark Smoke Lightning Strike Octopus Chuck Norris, and called themselves something-maru and had personalized logos. The ninja clans' equivalent of emos and punks and gangsta wannabes. The kind that made ninja parents wonder where they'd gone wrong, and moan that they used to be such a good boy when they were younger, and that it was all the fault of these 'pokey-men' and entertained thoughts about killing Kishimoto, but didn't because they responsible adults who either work nine to five as an accountant or 24/7 as one of any number of dark lord wanabe's minions.
You know. Idiots.
Some actually even wear orange!
Anyway, Team Dark Smoke Lightning Strike Octopus Chuck Norris had decided it was a good idea to knock over an appliance store for some quick cash. After all, one of them knew a guy who knew a guy. That was all they needed, right? Sure, some of them were nervous about the rumors of something taking down some of the mob, but they weren't mob– YET! Because they would soon be the BIGGEST BADASSES IN THE CITY!– so they weren't worried. No one paid attention to the likes of them– AND THAT WOULD BE THEIR UNDOING! After all, it wasn't like they were giant monsters, or soul-stealing fetish-fuel drones or anything important like that.
They were in the middle of all this when several giant green spotlights lit them up, to the sound of several over-powered speakers play 'Ride of the Valkyries'.
"Attention!" a loud voice boomed. "You are breaking and entering and will be placed under arrest! Please come quietly, or I will be forced to get creative!"
Machine gun fire answered.
There was a magnified sigh. "Well, I did warn you. One final warning before I move in."
Badassmaru turned to his friend Awesomemaru. "Maybe we'd better turn ourselves in, dood. That looks like Green Lantern, dood. She's crazy, dood! Remember that giant Gundam she made, dood?"
"Eh, it doesn't sound like Green Lanter, dattebayo. Green Lantern's a girl, dattebayo. That sounds like a guy, dattebayo." He turned towards the opening through which the lights shown and the voice had come through strongest. "DO YOUR WORST, DATTEBAYO!"
Silence. And then, something big and green approached the opening.
"CRAP, IT'S AN ANTI-NINJA TENTACLE MONSTER! WE SURRENDER! DON'T SURPRISE BUTT SECKS US!"
Outside, Yuuno sweatdropped. "Wow, ninja really are more terrified of tentacle monsters…"
...
Shamal frowned down at the Book of Darkness, trying to stay analytical and calm, and not break down into nervous breakdown. "Well, we've lost a substantial number of pages. All in all, I'd say we're back down to about 215."
"215!" Vita exploded. "That's less than when we first ran into the little green bitch!"
Shamal winced. Lately, Vita's language had been going downhill.
Signum scowled. "Then we do what we've always done. We work on completing it. Is the part about the Holy Grail War existent?"
Shamal nodded.
"Well, spill it out, bitch!" Vita cried.
Shamal winced again, then read. Exposition took place.
Signum snapped her head towards Vita. "Find Fuyuki City. You should be competent enough to do that, at least."
Vita growled at her, but stomped off, slapping the computer into gear.
Shamal frowned worriedly, looking at the two as Signum grabbed her bath basket and slammed the door behind her. Since when did Signum bring a vibrator with her?
...
Emiya Kiritsugu sighed as Iris ran off to a nearby toy store with a prominent display of plush toys, shaking his head in amusement. Well, she was unlikely to get in any trouble there, and they had time to kill, since their train back home had been delayed. He hefted the case he carried, specially designed to smuggle the explosive magic rounds they'd bought from a contact of his. He hated leaving the kids alone, especially in the midst of a Holy Grail war, even for just a few hours, but he was confident in Saber and Berserker managing to protect them, should the worst happen and the Tohsaka and Edelfelt girls decide to go homicidal. Plus Sella and Leysritt were there. They should be fine for a few hours.
Spotting a nice little café that looked interesting, he sent Iris a text message saying where'd he'd be and stepped inside. It seemed fairly popular, and was apparently a family-run establishment. A little girl who looked barely ten was taking orders from a group of girls her own age, and from they way they were chatting they seemed to be her friends. The display of cakes looked nice, and he began to head there for a closer look…
And froze, noticing the man standing behind the cash register, staring at him. He cursed himself for a fool. Why hadn't he noticed sooner? It was too late now. The man had his hands under the counter. Was there a weapon there? Unlikely, but even an improvised throwing weapon…
Kiritsugu took a deep breath and slowly walked towards the cake display, obviously looking at it, before turning to the man behind the counter. He nods to the man. "Fuwa," he said neutrally.
Shiro returned the gesture. "Emiya," he said.
Silence ruled.
The little girl trotted up to the counter. "Dad, I have an order for three chocolate cakes, and three iced teas."
Kiritsugu's eyes flicked to the girl as Shiro rang up the orders. When he met Shiro's eyes again, they had narrowed.
"Your daughter?" Kiritsugu said, placing as much good will as possible without sounding like a pervert into the question.
"Yes," Shiro said flatly. The muscles along his forearm had tightened, indicating he was gripping something.
"She seems like a nice girl," Kiritsugu said. "I have a daughter the same age. Would you like to see a picture?"
Shiro blinked.
Kiritsugu pulled out his wallet, smiling inanely. "This is Illya-chan. She takes after her mother." He showed the other man the picture.
"She looks very cute," Shiro said, with a hint of wariness, as if wondering how the words would be taken.
"Apple of her mother's eye," Kiritsugu confirmed. "I'll have one chocolate cake, if you would. She'd like that. Actually, make it two. Her mother likes chocolate as well. No, make it three. We're having guests over."
Shiro gave him a look, but began to punch in the order.
"I see you're out of the business too," Kiritsugu commented as he waited. "I hope you didn't do in anyone I liked on the way out."
Shiro raised an eyebrow, and said, "Clover."
"Oh, that's all right, then. I couldn't stand those assholes."
Shiro chuckled, relaxing slightly. "And you?"
"Left after I met the wife," Kiritsugu said. "A family man can't afford to deal with such foolishness."
Shiro smiled slightly. "True."
"SQUEEEE!"
They both turned to find Iris, a bag of plushies over one shoulder, squealing in delight over an adorable-looking blonde girl with her hair in two tails. "Oh, Kiritsugu, she's so CUTE! Can we keep her?"
"Iris, what have I said about randomly kidnapping people?" Kiritsugu said.
"But she's so CUTE!" Iris whined as the girl blushed in embarrassment. "Besides, Illya-chan and Kuro-chan might like another sister!"
The blonde girl and little girl playing waitress both perked up. "Kuro and Illya?" they both said.
Iris blinked, looking down at the blonde. "You know them?"
"Um, kinda," the girl said. "We frequent the same Magical Girl enthusiasts web site. Illya's really a fan of Magical Girl Kaleido Ruby."
"See, she already knows Kuro and Illya!" Iris said to Kiritsugu. "Can we keep her?"
"No, dear," Kiritsugu said in a firm if exasperated tone.
"Meanie! See if I give you any more blow– "
Kiritsugu held up the cakes.
She was glomped on his side in an instant. "YOU'RE THE BEST HUSBAND EVER!"
"The only one, I hope," he said. He turned to Shiro. "Fuwa-san."
"Emiya-san," Shiro said. "Drop by again some time."
There was some smidgeon of sincerity there.
...
Sakurazaki Setsuna took a deep breath of the frost air, let it out slowly. She'd thought long and hard about this, her sense of propriety and embarrassment warring with her pragmatism and pride. To use it, to master it, or not?
Her recent battle had shown her that maybe a little work wouldn't be so bad. It had provided the crucial push to make her do this, and now she had to go on before she started developing second thoughts.
She'd flown here, deep into the woods in the mountains that stood near Mahora, to give herself the privacy to practice this. She knew the basics, but she needed to refine it if she was going to make it a regular, if highly forbidden, part of her arsenal. Taking a deep breath, holding Yuunagi in her hands with her eyes closed as she focused herself, she concentrated on the technique, targeting the series of logs in front of her, one behind the other.
Her eyes snapped open, her sword moving. "Shinmei-ryu forbidden-to-me technique! Zanmaken Ni-no-Tachi! In Celebration Of My First Kiss With Konoka Oujo-Sama Strike!"
The strike lashed out, passing through the first in a shower of sawdust as the one behind it was completely cleaved through. She released a gasp as she finished the technique, panting. Not perfect yet. It hadn't gone through the first one completely, as it should have. She'd still need to work on it, but it was progress.
She froze, heart squeezing in purest terror as she heard applause behind her. She turned slowly, horrified.
Kaede and Cassandra stood behind her, the former slowly clapping, the latter looking from Setsuna, to her sword, to the logs, and back again, over and over.
"H-how long have you been standing there?" Setsuna squeaked.
"Long enough," Kaede said, face perfectly smooth. No, not perfectly. Her lower lip kept vibrating in restrained laughter, damn it. "I invited Cassandra-san up here to train."
"If you tell anyone…" Setsuna said.
Kaede made a zipping gesture over her mouth, a small smile treacherously curving her lips. "Not a word."
Cassandra pointed hesitantly. "Teach me?"
...
Tomoyo whistled tunelessly as she lay on her back, working on her helicopter. The landing gear needed a little adjustment, and she figured it was a good way to blow off a weekend morning before had tea with the girls. Ayaka promised to give an account of what had happened at Mahora, and said she was bringing along a friend of hers who worked at the Ibayamian Embassy.
Footsteps approached, and she tensed, reaching for the kodachi she'd had hidden amongst her tools, before she recognized Syaoran's footsteps. "You want something, Lee-kun?" she said.
Syaoran coughed nervously. "Um, Daidouji, I have an awkward request to ask of you…"
She frowned, and rolled out from under the helicopter, looking up at him. "What?"
"Can you send a message to cousin Sandra? I mean, Lady Shiva? When I told mother I'd run into her, she insisted I try to invite her to Christmas… Oh, will you please stop laughing!"
...
Alisa sighed as she, Suzuka and Fate sat at a window-side table at Midori-Ya. "Where is Nanoha-chan?" she complained while Suzuka played with the pet ermine Yuuno. She frowned at Fate, who'd been spending the most time with the missing girl recently. "Did she tell you what was taking her so long?"
Fate shook her head. She'd been getting a lot of practice at covering for Nanoha lately, with the lack of alerts about the Wolkenritter. "No, though I think she's picking up a few last-minute secret presents. Maybe they're for us, so she doesn't want us to know?"
Suzuka looked up, frowning. "What's that whistling sound?"
Alisa looked around too. Fate looked out the window, and her eyes went wide. "DUCK!" she cried, grabbing the other two girls and pulling them out of the booth, so hard they rolled on the ground and crashed against another table.
"Fate-chan, what…?" Alisa exclaimed.
A moment later, the window they'd been sitting next to shattered under the impact of Green Lantern flying through it. She smashed through the table as well, reducing it into so much kindling, left several deep dents on the wooden floor as she rolled across, barely missed the cake display, and ended up half in and half out of the kitchen door, her legs and one arm sticking out.
"Owie…" her voice said, drifting through the open door.
"Green Lantern-san!" Shinobu cried in concern, putting away her serving tray heading for the first aid kit. "Are you all right?"
The visible hand gave a thumbs-up of confirmation, though there was another pained groan.
In the ruckus, no one noticed Fate, her cute little puppy, and the ermine disappear.
An evil laugh sounded from the broken window, and everyone turned to see a masked and red-and-black armored man, his only identifying feature a long black pigtail and a voice that sounded kinda like Inu-Yasha. "Stupid girl! he cried, flexing his armored muscles. "NO ONE can beat Wild Horse Chaos! With my panty-stealing based martial arts and my grand total of two chi blast techniques which I modify at the drop of a hat with absolutely no pre-testing before hand and for some reason rename in Gratuitous English as if I couldn't speak Japanese to save my life, I will defeat you and prove my manliness to my mother! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Alisa sweatdropped. "Okay, that's just… I don't know how to put it."
"Lightning Bind!"
Wild Horse Chaos's arms and legs are suddenly spread eagled, glowing golden rings appearing around wrists and ankles as electricity suddenly streaks through him. "ARGH! What? Who dares?-!"
"I dare!" a voice outside said, the speaker invisible to those inside the café. Some customers moved to get a better look.
A black-clad girl with a cape, twin tails of long golden hair, and an axe-like staff floated outside, with a masked red-haired woman floating to one side and the newly-appeared male Green Lantern floating on the other. She looked quite angry behind her mask, and she gestured with her axe like she meant to drub someone senseless with it. "Green Lantern-chan is an upstanding member of the community, who works tirelessly for the protection and welfare of all! Ceaselessly working on behalf of both the greater and lesser goods, she is a figure worthy of respect and admiration! I will not allow you to so callously attack her! In the name of Green Lantern's honor, I, Magical Girl Black Reaper-chan, will punish you!"
She posed. Sailor Moon would have been proud.
"SUGOI!" Suzuka cried, starry-eyed, and many customers applauded in agreement.
Alisa stared at the new magical girl, feeling a heat rushing to her face, then began to pound her head against a wall. "First Testarossa, and now this new girl," she muttered to herself. "I'm secure in my sexuality, darn it!"
Wild Horse Chaos growled, and using his highly advanced knowledge and martial arts ability, flexed his pecs in such a way as to cause a (long stupid line of incomprehensible self-aggrandizing chi-asspull babble) and managed to break out of the bind. "Hey! Who do you think you are, interfering with my duel with Green Lantern that started with me pushing her into the path of a truck while she was helping an old lady cross the street?"
The Magical Girl posed again. The redness on her face was obviously from hot-bloodedness and not overwhelming embarrassment. "Of coursed I'd interfere! I'm Green Lantern's–"
"Wife, " the masked red-haired woman coughed.
"–wife!" Black Reaper-chan finished. Then her eyes widened as she realized what had just come out of her mouth. "NO! NOT HER WIFE! DEFINITELY NOT HER WIFE! NOT HER WIFE AT ALL! BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE HER! WELL, I LIKE HER, BUT I DON'T LIKE HER! I MEAN YES I LIKE HER, BUT I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE HER! WE'RE FRIENDS! JUST FRIENDS! WELL, MAYBE NOT JUST FRIENDS, WE'RE–"
"Life partners?" the male Green Lantern suggested innocently.
Fate paused, obviously thinking this over. Well, yes, they were partners in a fight, and in this investigation, and they trusted each other with their lives, so… "Yes, that's it! We're life partners!" she cried in relief.
Everyone in hearing range but Fate, even Wild Horse Chaos, looked at the male Green Lantern with raised eyebrows, while he smiled widely and whistled innocently. The red-haired woman said what they were all thinking.
"You are a very, very sneaky little boy, Ferret Lantern."
"That's it, I'm officially changing my name," he said. "Maybe I can call myself 'The Librarian God' or something."
"I will say right now you have neither the rack, the sweater or the Meganekko to pull off that name," the woman said.
"Why must you ruin a perfectly good mental image like that?"
Wild Horse Chaos interrupted. "Ha ha! Well, I'll just take care of you with a technique I make up on the spot! Hiryu Shoten Ha, Revised! No Need For Spirals Magical Girl Smasher!"
"Plasma Smasher!" Black Reaper cried.
"AH! THE RENAME DOES NOTHING! NO! HOW CAN THIS BE! I am invicibl– oh crap."
"Evil Overlord List?" Librarian God nee Ferret Lantern said.
"Rule 24," the still somehow nameless masked woman said.
Wild Horse Chaos threw up his hands to the heavens. "COULD THIS GET ANY WORS– oh crap."
Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned.
Momoko and Miyuki Takamachi, Joshima Akira, Lianfei Ren and Suzuka's sister Shinobu, all wielding frying pans, rolling pins and in Momoko's case, a pair of meat cleavers. Why they had meat cleavers in a predominantly pastry café is best left unconsidered. "Oh Mister Supervillain who picks on little girls," the Takamachi matron said brightly. "We'd like a word with you about our window…"
Wild Horse Chaos reeled back widely. "Aggressive, violent women in my age group and older! My one weakness! How did you know?-!"
"We didn't," Miyuki said, holding her frying pans and smiling. "But thank for telling us…"
"Oh, crap."
Shiro and Kyouya, who were helping a still slightly woozy Green Lantern sit up, exchanged looks. "And that, my boy, is why I married your mother."
...
Gotham was cold in the winter. Fortunately, she knew how to keep warm.
The rec room of Arkham Asylum was crowded, the tree was set up and creatively as non-usable as weapon as possible, there were actually a few presents under it, and some of the criminally insane proved that being that didn't mean they stopped being human as Poison Ivy fretted what to give Harley for Christmas that didn't require her breaking out and stealing something, several people watched reruns of "It's a Wonderful Life" and half-assed considered going straight, and Two Face, The Riddler, Mr. Freeze and Mad Hatter played the Dresden Files RPG.
The Joker, ironically, was the only downer, growling about how he couldn't watch Looney Toons and muttering about the Bat being out of the country during their Special Santa Trauma Time. Harley, cuddling next to him, was trying her best to tease him out of it. It wasn't working this time.
Outside the door, there was a bloodcurdling scream, several shots of panic fire, a wet splattering sound, and a cute, girlish laugh.
Everyone looked up, mildly curious.
The Joker suddenly perked up, head snapping to the door, nearly braining Harley with his chin.
Blood began to creep under the opening. They heard what sounded like an orgasmic moan of delighted pleasure.
Some of the older inmate's eyes went wide, and there was a wild scramble for them to get to the opposite side of the room.
The double doors suddenly burst open, and a blood-splattered little girl wearing the cutest loli-goth dress not on Evangeline McDowell, with fur and lacy bits and ribbons and cute trim and bunnies and a nice hat to go with it and rather sexy and highly inappropriate pantyhose burst through, a completely blood-drenched sword of differing lengths in either hand, a wild smile on her blood-spattered face, only her glasses not speckled in hemoglobin and plasma. "Daddy! Merry Christmas!"
The Joker leaped to his feet, knocking Harley off his lap with a high pitch cry, arms held wide open, his wide manic smile seemingly wider than usual. "Cutie-pie! You came to visit your old man!"
They rushed into each other's arms, both careless of the bloody swords she held as she leaped, and they shared a saccharine spinning hug, the Joker holding her under her arms and lifting her up.
"Daddy!"
"Cutie Pie!"
"Daddy!"
"Cutie Pie!"
The little girl pouted. "Daddy!" she cried, this time indignant. "You still can't pronounce my name, can you?"
"Of course I can, Swee pea! It's… Akatsuki, right?"
"NO! That's a group of serial killer ninja wannabes!"
"Well, maybe you should change your name, then!"
"Now, you remember that agreement with Mommy," the little girl said, waggling her sword and bleeding the Joker in the forearm with the sword in that hand. They didn't notice. "I keep my name."
"Control freak one-night stand!" Joker exclaimed.
The Riddler covered his head, rocking back and worth. "This isn't happening again. It's not happening again. It's not happening again…"
Poison Ivy had turned yellow as blood left her face, and she was frantically trying to claw her way through the wall.
"I bought you a present!" the little girl cried, reaching into her cleavage, such as it was, and pulling out a big box. "Here!"
The Joker did. "Aw, it's the head of that guy in the parking lot security hut! You shouldn't have!" he kissed her on the forehead, getting blood on his lips. "Hmm, O-positive!"
"DADDY!" the girl cried. "You're supposed to wait until Christmas before you open it! Where's my present?"
The Joker froze, beginning to sweat. "Um, ah…"
"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!" Harley Quinn cried.
"Shut up woman, the demon will here you!" Mad Hatter cried.
"–in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done–" Two Face prayed.
"–in Gotham, Batman be thy name–" Scarecrow used the Gotham Street version.
Joker pointed at Harley. "Merry Christmas, Daddy's Darling!"
"Huh?" the little girl said.
"I've got you a brand new mommy candidate!" Joker said.
"OH!" the litter girl cried, running up to Harley.
"HARLEY, NO! RUN!" Poison Ivy cried, trying to reach her best friend.
"It's too late for her," Mr Freeze said, holding her back. "Let it go."
"HARLEY! HARLEY!"
The little looked up at Harley, bright eyed. "Are you going to be my new mommy?"
Harley brightened. "Yes, I am! Do you like that?"
"Yay!" the little girl cried. "But first, I have to see if you're good enough…"
Harley suddenly found herself being slammed on the floor as the girl straddled her hips, tongue licking the sword she held in one hand. "My name is Tsukuyomi. And if you're going to be my new mommy, I'll have to see how well you can… satisfy…"
The blade flicked down, tearing Harley's prisoner jumpsuit open…
An hour later, Tsukuyomi got off a wide-eyed and shaking Harley. "You'll do."
She turned to her father, who was watching Looney Toons. "OOH, is that the one where Elmer kills Bugs!"
Joker patted her lap, and father and daughter shared a moment watching cartoons…
...
Fate buried her face in her hands, simmering in despair at the Harlaown dinner table. One eye appeared to glare balefully at Yuuno. "I hate you Scrya," she said. "I hate you so much."
Yuuno smiled widely. "Well, at least you learned what 'life partner' meant."
Fate twitched as Arf shook with silent laughter, but before violence could ensue, Nanoha burst into the room, all smiles. "There she is!" she cried, rushing to Fate and enfolding her in a hug. "Uminari's newest Magical Girl! So, how did coming out to the public feel?"
If Fate wasn't absolutely sure Nanoha didn't know what that meant… "I can't ever show my face again," she moaned.
"Aw, you'll get used to it," Nanoha said, patting her on the shoulder. "Suzuka-chan was already organizing a Magical Girl Black Reaper-chan fan club when I finally finished repairing the cafe."
Fate banged her head against the table. Strangely, her thoughts began to mirror Vita's
Earth was clearly filled with crazy people.
...
Misora whistled a jaunty tune as she headed back to her dorm. It had been a good day, and Sister Shakti hadn't yelled at her once! Maybe she was getting this Magister thing down.
The opened the door to the dorm she shared with Cocone, stepped in and stared. Than she quickly slammed the door shut behind her.
Cocone smiled from where she lay on Misora's bunk, surrounded by flower petals. She raised a hand and crooked her finger at her Ministra.
Misora sighed happily. "I love these private rooms…"
...
"No! We're running out of time!
"It won't stop regenerating!"
"Freezing it isn't enough!"
"Need… more… Mana! Can't… use Unlimited…"
"Kuro! Some catch her."
"I've got her Illya-chan!"
"Hit it with everything we've got! More Dakka!"
"I'm out of ordinance! I knew I should have put in more of the nukes!"
"No! We're so close! My Berserker will have JUSTICE!"
"We need more time!"
"Princess…"
"NO! Don't you dare!"
"As you all say, we need more time…"
"NO! I'm ordering you, NO!"
"Good bye…"
"Stop her!"
"Time… Stop…"
"PLUTO!"
She snapped awake.
She sat up, rubbing her eyes at the tears that stung her. The dream had been coming more often now, almost everyone night. The monster changed, but the futility stayed the same.
She cried.
...
- To be continued...
...
A/N: Huh, freaky coincidence. There are two Shiro's in this story, and I didn't notice until now.
SCM walks onstage again. Since he's never likely going to be able to do it in real life, it's the stage at the Syney Opera House.
"Ahem. Just to repeat it if anyone missed it the first time. The drop in was a parody. Regardless to how he got the crap beaten out of him in Akanema, I do not hate the implied character, merely poking fun at over twenty years and counting worth of bad fanfics about him and co. I'm honestly planning to do a him/her-centric fic in future, but right now, it's fun to poke at the Mary-Sue-fied version of him that fan wank has generated. If it makes you feel any better, consider this a jab at Evil!that guy. Please don't flame me for it. If you have been offended… well, I apologize, but you can't please everybody. And I bet better than even odds you'll look back on this in a few years and think 'you know, maybe he has a point'. Oh, and his series isn't going to be in this fic, except as gags and other parodies. I want a sex-changing guy with a harem, I'm using Kämpfer. It has canonical lesbians! Plus the guns are now, to use up the rest of the stage, we present VENGEANCE! The Musical! The Life Story of Uchiha Sasuke!"
We now return you to your regularly scheduled Authors notes.
I can't seem to think of a good Superhero name for Arf. I'm seriously considering calling her either Nameless or Monty Python's Flying Superheroine. Yuuno is suffering fro ma similar problem, in that I can't think of a GOOD name for him beyond, horror of horrors, Ferret Lantern.
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.