The 502 Stories
By AmboDriver
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.
A/N: Yes, I'm slowly working on the next chapter of my super dark story, but I needed some happy, so had to whip this out. Hope you all enjoy it. They're continuing to make some progress but still have a way to go.
Thanks for all the kind comments on this. I'm glad you are all enjoying it.
Chapter 5 – When You're Smiling
"Callie?"
"One sec." Callie pulled the blanket over Sofia and then left the nursery, pulling the door behind her as she did. "What's up?" she asked as she walked over toward the kitchen. Arizona was standing in the middle of the small kitchen area, a frown on her face.
"Um," Arizona said as she worried at her lip before she let out a small sigh. "Can you help me? I can't balance and get the crockpot." She looked down at the cabinet below the breakfast bar. "It's not easy to lean over on one leg."
"Sure, no problem," Callie said. She went over and knelt down in front of the cabinet, only pausing once she had the door open. It struck her then that this was the first time that Arizona freely asked for help without sounding bitter or angry. A small smile crept to her lips before she schooled her expression. "There you go," she said as she pulled the crockpot out and placed it on the counter.
"Thanks," Arizona said as she leaned against the counter with her hip and one crutch for balance. She used her free hand to plug it in and start to dump the frozen mass of chili from the Tupperware container into the crockpot. "How long do you think this should cook?"
"Put it on medium and let it go for thirty minutes or so. We can check it then. It just needs to heat through." Callie leaned against the other counter and smiled at her wife. "Thanks."
Arizona put the lid on the crockpot and turned the dial. She then pivoted on her right leg, dragging the prosthetic around so that she was facing Callie. "It's just heating up some chili."
"No. Thanks for asking for help when you need it." Callie bit at her lip, wondering if she should press it. "I know it's not easy for you."
Arizona took a deep breath and let it out. She finally shrugged. "If I can't ask for help here, where can I ask for it?" She pushed off the counter and grabbed her other crutch so she could slowly make her way toward the living room.
Callie started to say something but then stopped, wanting to wait until they were seated and could really focus on one another. They'd finally started to talk civilly and Callie was feeling better about where they were, but she still needed the reassurance of looking at Arizona's face whenever they talked. She found it hard to read Arizona simply by her words. Only once they were both seated on the couch did Callie smile over at her wife. "It's just, I know you hate it when you can't do things. But it's getting better, right?"
Arizona's eyes darkened for a moment, as if a cloud had come over them, but then she just nodded. "It is. And I guess I'll put bending over to get stuff out of low cabinets on my list of things to work on with David." She then let out a sigh and her head fell back to the couch. "That list is so damned long."
Callie started to reach out to put a hand on Arizona's arm but stopped, not wanting to push the unwritten boundaries of their slowly healing relationship. "You're just starting your rehab, Arizona. Cut yourself a break."
"I know," she said with her eyes still closed. "And I'm making peace with this, I really am. I mean, I don't have a choice, right?"
"No, you don't," Callie answered, hearing the pain in her own voice.
Arizona then smiled and let out the quietest of laughs. "I'm not exactly the most patient person in the world."
Callie took Arizona's cue and laughed, too. "No, you aren't. Although I do remember how you got on my case when I was impatient with my recovery."
"Well, you were rushing it," Arizona said with a bright smile that lit up her face as she looked over at Callie, her face open and unguarded.
Callie's breath caught. She hadn't seen Arizona smile at her in months. As Arizona's smile went from broad to questioning, one eyebrow slowly rose. Callie smiled and shook her head, knowing she had been caught reacting strangely. "Nothing."
"No, what?"
Callie sighed heavily. The wonderful mood they had just shared dissipated as she worried that Arizona would react badly if she brought it up. "I…"
"I won't be mad," Arizona said quietly. "I'm done being mad." She rolled her eyes upward and shook her head. "Well, okay, I'm probably not done being mad, but I'm trying, okay?"
"Okay," Callie said, still not feeling overly convinced.
Arizona smiled again and reached over to poke at Callie's side playfully. "Come on, I'm trying to have a better attitude but I need you to play along."
"You smiled," Callie said in a rush.
"I smiled?" Arizona's brow furrowed.
"At me. You smiled at me. You haven't done that since…" She thought back on that day when she had last seen a loving smile from her wife. Arizona had been trying so hard to reassure her that she could manage Derek's surgery. It had been such a hopeful moment and then it all went so very, very wrong.
Arizona's face went dark as her eyes fell to where her hands were now lying limp in her lap. "Oh, right."
A heavy silence fell between them. It was an eerily familiar silence, like the ones that had hovered between them so often in the last months. Callie had hoped it was all behind them, and then she had gone and reminded them both of the day Arizona's leg was amputated. Callie stood up, wanting to break the spell they both had just found themselves under. "Do you want something to drink?"
Arizona reached out and grabbed her hand, stopping her from moving away. Callie looked down to where the smaller hand was wrapped around her own and then up into the blue teary eyes of her wife. "Sit down," Arizona implored.
Callie swallowed hard but nodded as she collapsed back on the couch. Only once she was seated did she notice that Arizona's hand was still wrapped around hers. She couldn't help but smile, even if there was a sad tinge to it. "Sorry I brought it up," she finally croaked out past the lump in her throat.
Arizona looked down at where their hands were entwined and a small smile edged onto her lips. "Look, we need to move on. I know we have a ton to get through still, but we can't pretend the plane didn't crash or that I didn't lose my leg. I don't want to think about that day any more than I have to, but it will always be there."
"It will," Callie agreed.
Arizona then looked up and smiled, although it was just a little forced. "I'm sorry I haven't smiled at you before this. I'm really getting better about knowing in my heart that you made the right choice that day." She squeezed Callie's hand.
Callie smiled then as she felt such relief at how Arizona was handling this and even more so that they were holding hands. She finally laughed quietly. "Smiles and hand holding," she finally whispered quietly, her voice cracking.
Arizona laughed then, too. "You'd think we were a pair of teenagers on a first date instead of an old married couple."
"Who are you calling old?" Callie said, playing up the shock in her voice for comedic effect.
It worked because they both laughed easily. Then a silence fell between them, but this one did not hold the heavy weight of the previous one. Instead, Arizona brought her other hand over to hold both of Callie's hands in her own. Finally she said, "How about some wine?"
Callie smiled over at her wife and noticed the lack of worried lines on her face. It was good to see her so relaxed and, dare she say it, happy. "White?"
"Red will go better with the chili."
"True." Callie sat there for a moment, her eyes falling back down to their hands. She didn't want to break this moment, though, but she knew she shouldn't push it. The last few minutes had been some of the happiest she had experienced since Arizona sent her off to Derek's surgery, but if she pressed it too much, the mood would be gone. "Okay, red it is," she finally said as she pivoted her hands to grab Arizona's and then placed them gently in her lap. She stood up and went over to pull down two wine glasses from the cabinet.
"Callie?"
"Yeah?" Callie said as she placed the two glasses on the counter.
"You made the right decision." She smiled although there was a sadness in her eyes.
Callie knew Arizona still wasn't at peace with the decision Callie had been forced to make and, if Callie were being honest, she wasn't sure she ever truly would be. But maybe, just maybe, if she could play as if, if she could find a way to smile when referring to the lifesaving choice Callie had made, then perhaps she would truly come to believe it someday. She wasn't sure exactly how to respond, though, so instead she just answered Arizona with a smile.
TBC…