The Bella I am Now Chapter 27: Remember, a twilight fanfic

That night as I lay there waiting for sleep his words started to echo through my mind, the ones that he had whispered to me.

"I'm not giving up forever, just for now, just long enough to let you have some time to realize you love me. Because Bella I'll love you till the end of time." He had said, I guess we'd have to see.

"Er…Bella get up, we have to practice. We need to come up with some new songs." Aiden whined in my ear, and I groaned, coming up with new songs consisted of setting me up in a room and hoping that I'd make a hit. UGH.

"Fine, but you owe me. Two free cards." I said eyeing him, his bright blonde hair falling over his wide topaz eyes.

"NOW WAY! Just one. Like I'd ever give you two chances to claim ultimate dominance. Yeah, like that would happen." He laughed.

"Fine, but whatever I come up with…if I need some background singing, I'll just have Sam do it." I huffed. I walked away, Aiden knew I was kidding, I loved Aiden's voice as a background one, he knew he had won.

I dragged myself out of my bed, and headed to the record room, sat at the little desk and began writing, just anything, then I started getting a hook, and it was like bombs went off. This song was perfect.

"BOYS!! COME HERE I FINISHED IT!!" I screamed for them, and then I played it back for them, they were all in simultaneous agreement, that this would be one of the songs for our next shows, I agreed, I loved it too.

I Came up with a little more than 3 songs that night, I stopped right in the middle of one of them, too tired, I had been writing all day, and we had another gig tomorrow, so we'd have to get there early.

When we finally woke up and got there, there was another band playing, we were in the back so I was standing behind the curtain listening to the music that was filling the room.

Avenged Sevenfold – Dear God –

"A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again"

Wow, that voice was amazing, but by the time I had maneuvered myself up to get a look at the band, they were gone, off the stage.

"Wonder who they were." I said aloud so that Sam could hear me.

"Oh well, no time Bells, let's go." Sam said.

We got on the stage, set up everything, I made sure to change our appearances again so that the crowd would recognize us from the other day.

"HEY WE'RE MISERY'S MINIONS AND WE'RE HERE TO ROCK!" I screamed into the mic.

"This first one is called SORROW!! Let's go this!"

The music filled the room, and we were ready.

"Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong

Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me

Yeah, I had Edward, and I felt like I was whole again…at least I didn't feel bad, end then he left me, flew away…gone.

Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl
That's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

I was ugly, compared to him, and after he was gone I was left to face that fact, that and the fact that no one wanted me. Then Damon came, and he can stop my tears.

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me

And we kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won't be fooled by his angel light

Damon is showing me the things as they are, I won't be fooled by Edward and his intoxicating presence again.

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars

Joy will come"

"Nice job Bells." Sam whispered, and I nodded. Ready to start the next song, when I spotted Edward. His eyes full of lust, oh yeah, I had wrote a song about this too, I had to perfect one.

"This one is called A DANGEROUS MIND I'd like a little quiet for this one, if you will." I said.

The music was there, the long introduction that I used to stare down Edward.

"I'm searching for answers
Cause something is not right.
I follow the signs,
I'm close to the fire.

I fear that soon you'll reveal
Your dangerous mind.

His eyes widened, I was still making eye contact, I refused to break it.

It's in your eyes, what's on your mind.
I fear your smile and the promise inside.
It's in your eyes, what's on your mind.
I fear your presence, I'm frozen inside.

Yeah, I could see everything from the look in his eyes, I didn't need anything more.

I'm searching for answers
Not questioned before.
The curse of awareness,
There's no peace of mind.
As your true colors show
A dangerous sign.

His true colors, I almost smiled, almost, his true colors showed me he had learned the fight or flight pattern wwaayyyy different from what I had.

It's in your eyes, what's on your mind.
I see the truth that you've buried inside.
It's in your eyes, what's on your mind.
There is no mercy, just anger I find.

I just have to know, while I still have time.
Do I have to run, or hide away from you?

It's in your eyes, what's on your mind.
I see the truth that you've buried inside.
It's in your eyes, what's on your mind.
There is no mercy, just anger I find."

I still had my eyes on him, he wasn't looking away, and I sure as hell wasn't giving up, I would never yield to him.

"This next one is called UNTIL TOMORROW, and I did actually write it for someone that was close to me until I realized that it all went wrong, but I still like this song, and I think that some of you in here will like it too, so I'll play it still." I said. Still neither of us had forced a second between our eye lock. Neither one willing to look away. That worked for me, this next song would have him shaking in his…bone?

"I Climb, I Slip, I Fall
Reaching for your hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood
If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love and I
...I will

Ok so maybe my love wasn't so undying, I still cared for him sooo much, but there was really nothing I could do, I couldn't abandon my family, I wouldn't.

Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe theres another way

Maybe there was another way…maybe I could…have them both?

I Climb, I Slip, I Fall
Reaching for your hands
But I Lay Here All alone
Sweating all your blood
If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love and I
...I Will

Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause theres no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe theres another way
X2

I Climb, I Slip, I Fall
Into Your Empty hands
but I Lay Here All alone
Sweating all your blood"

His eyes still on my, in so much pain, so much I could hardly bear it. But I still never blinked. Until I realized….um…humans blink, so I had to.

"THAT WAS MISERYS MINIONS! Give it up for them!" The announcer said, and cheers filled to room. We were walking off stage, and I couldn't help but notice Edward walking back on. What the heck was he doing?

"Hey, I'm Edward Cullen, and that girl that was up here just now…well she's the love of my life, of my existence! And I…if you would let me…I have a song to sing her. Would you let me?" The crowd roared and he gave me a crooked smile, and I was pushed back onto the stage by some random people working the stage. I rolled my eyes, and tried to keep my distance from Edward but he pulled me to him.

Then he started to sing.

"It was in the lobby when I set my sights on you
Shoulda kissed you in the elevator,
but I was too scared to
It was in the morning when I made up my mind
I want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time
Woah

He looked at me, as he pulled my closer to his side, smiling crookedly.

Do I have to spell it out for you
or scream it in your face?
Oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place
Do I have to spell it out for you
or whisper in your ear?
Oh, just stop right there
I think that we've got something here

I scrutinized his face, yeah, you quite obviously need to spell this out, I had not idea what he was talking about. You think that that we have something? HA!

We were all alone when I finally made a pass at you
It didn't work, and no it never does,
but you know how I do
We were on the phone when I made up my mind
I want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time
Woah

He pulled me tighter when I started to squirm from his grasp still smiling. What a JERK!

Whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa"

The music stopped, and cheers took over, oohs and ahhs, and how cutes, filled the air.

"You can let me go whenever." I hissed at him.

"I don't think I'd ever want to." He said back, then did something that surprised me. He kissed me again. And again the images came flooding to me.

Edward smiling

Me and Edward in a car,

Edward above me kissing my forehead

Edward and me in a meadow.

No one appeared to notice my lapse in consciousness cause Edward was talking again. I was leaning on him more, almost unable to stand on my own.

"Just one more tonight, it's called ALL OVER YOU, mostly because I'm surrendering, I'm giving up my heart to her, she can take it if she wants it. If she can find it in her to ditch that guy, and give me another chance."

" Yeah he's a looker,
but I really think it's guts that matter most.
I displayed them for you,
strewn out about from coast to coast.

I am easily make believe,
just dress me up in what you want me to be.
I'll take back what I've been saying for quite some time now.

Edward, what were you playing at?

I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.

In my daydreams, in my sleep,
infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me, see all you have to do now
is please try.
Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
but you never seem to have enough.

I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short
to get caught up in all this stuff
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?

Because I love DAMON I wanted to scream at him, but I couldn't.

Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you)
Why can't you just love me back?
(why can't you, why can't you just love)

I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short
to get caught up and all mixed up
when I just want you to love me back,
why can't you just love me back?

Why won't you just love me back?

Why can't you just love me back?"

I was near tears again, and he looked at me, and kissed me again. It seemed to be all it took, everything went back again, all missing pieces of everything seemed to fill itself in. I knew exactly who Edward was, who his family was, who Damon was, and Sam, and Aiden, and I loved them all.

Me memory seemed to reflect in my eyes because when Edward spoke, it was softer.

"I was wondering how long it would take to have you back." He said, and leaned in again, to kiss me? Whisper something else? I didn't know, I never would because I just backed up and away, off the stage and away.

Why now? Why did I have to remember now?

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