BitterSweet, Chapter 7:
Disclaimer: I am not J.K Rowling therefore I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters etc. etc.
SnapePOV:
I sit down at the end of the Slytherin table; I don't eat or talk for when one is dead, neither are needed. I look over to the Gryffindor table and watch Lily eat. She looks beautiful, although her features tell me she is sad.
It has been 2 weeks, 4 days and 21 hours since we last spoke. Every minute since then I have been haunted; by her laugh, her touch, her smile, her kiss. I am filled with a hollowness that is never there when she is around. I can't handle it any more – I can't be away from her a second longer. I will let her choose: she can stay away and remain safe or be friends and sacrifice her life. I will have to deal with her choice, but I can't stay away if I know she still wants to be friends – I wasn't born a Slytherin for nothing. I need her for me. Sucking up my pride and testing my bravery, I stride up to the Gryffindor table and every Gryffindor falls silent as I approach Lily.
"Can we talk?" I plead, searching her eyes for a response. She just stands up and takes my hand, leading me through the Great hall to our spot by the lake. When we stop, I turn to her.
"I can't do it anymore. I need you." I say, my voice raw with emotion much to my horror. "If you still want to be friends, you need to understand that you will be in danger – I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore." I finish lamely, letting my gaze fall to take particular interest in my shoes. They need to be polished. Lily's hand grabs my chin, and her other hand pushes the hair from my eyes.
"Sev, regardless, I was going to be a target for You-Know-Who; I plan on being in the Order. And I wouldn't sacrifice our friendship for anything. You are my best friend, through thick and thin." She says, determinedly. What did I do to deserve this angel? I ask myself. Lily steps forward and hugs me tightly to her. I rest my cheek atop her head and hold her to me, glad at least to have her safe in my arms for now.
"Speaking of thin, Sev, you're tiny!" Lily says disapprovingly, pulling out of my embrace.
"Uh…yeah. I haven't been eating much lately." I reply, shrugging. It's irrelevant.
"Why?" She asks in a motherly tone. Because I was too busy watching you? Thinking about you? Wishing it could all be different? No, that sounds too stalker-ish. Don't want to scare her away when she just came back.
"Professor Slughorn doesn't eat till late and by then I'm asleep." I say, not exactly lying.
"What has Slughorn got to do with it?" She asks curiously.
"I forgot to tell you – I have been moved from the Slytherin dormitories to Slughorns'. I can't eat until Slughorn does because I can't get back into the room without him basically." I reply.
"Oh. Well, please make an effort to eat more. For me?" She pleads, tugging my hands. I chuckle as I grab her for a hug.
"Anything for you." I whisper with the intention of not being heard. How long we hugged, it could've been days, but unfortunately we are rudely interrupted.
"Get your filthy hands off her, Snivellus!" Potter yells from a dozen metres away, standing with his wand in hand and the other Marauders behind him. I snake my arms protectively around Lily's waist and watch Potter's face redden, to my immense amusement.
"I SAID GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HER!" He yells again.
"But maybe she likes my filthy hands on her, don't you Lily?" I mock – the words leave my mouth before I know it! Lily looks up at me and grinning and winked. I am shocked and surprised with myself, for I would never say such a thing, but knowing Lily's reaction, I wouldn't take it back.
James takes a step back in shock. The other Marauders stand around in a loose circle looking uncomfortable and trying to look away from the scene. It feels as though they believe this is James' fight and not theirs, and for a second I have a strange sense of admiration for them for their chivalry. But it is lost as soon as I remember who they are.
James steps forward again, holding his wand at the ready.
"She wouldn't want you near her. She's been crying every night ever since you stopped talking to her. I was there for her, letting her cry on my shoulder…" he taunts. He looks at Lily. "Tell me now you don't want this greasy death-eater anywhere near you and I will blast him into the middle of next week." He offers. Lily visibly hugs me tighter and wraps her arms around my torso.
"Stupef- " James' curse was interrupted as Lily stunned him first; she must've sensed his motives. She broke away from my grasp and went over to the arrogant mongrel.
"You are arrogant and stupid to think you're the hero – and I never came to you for anything. You kept following and harassing me. Leave me and Sev alone!" She tells him, angrily. As she walks back to me, James begins to get up again, aiming his wand at me.
"Levic-" He pants, trying to curse. With a surge of hate, I promise myself that my most embarrassing moment will never occur again, no matter what.
Mentally cursing the fact I left my wand in my room (a first), and not wanting my underwear shown to the world again, I run up to Lily in less than a second, swing her around, grasp her hand (which held her wand) and we both instinctively mutter "Stupefy" before James knows what happened. I can feel the magic flow through my body – more than normal – and I could feel the magic flowing off Lily. As the curse shoots out of her wand, so do colourful fireworks; something I have never seen before. As James' body shot backwards, I look at Lily, and forgetting where we are, our faces come closer and closer until I can almost taste her – but again we are interrupted.
"Bad luck Prongs. You didn't have to lose your dignity with your ego!" Sirius says angrily as he yanks the disorientated James upright. I had completely forgotten about the Marauders and as I look at their faces, they all seemed ashamed. They turn and start heading back to the castle supporting James as they walk, leaving Lily and I alone.
I chuckle at everything that had just happened, partly to hide my absolute embarrassment at my rude boldness. Lily hugs me again, giggling.
"We should go inside." I say, unsure of what to do with myself.
Lily takes my hand – much to my pleasure- and walks with me to the Great Hall. I stare at her. I had meant to go to the library to do some study.
"What are we doing here?" I blurt out when we reach the entrance of the Great Hall. "Shouldn't we get our homework done for classes tomorrow?"
"Sev, classes finished Friday for the term. We need to pack for holidays; it's Christmas already. See?" She explains, opening the doors to show me the rows and rows of Christmas trees. Had I really missed that much? I must have been so absorbed in my own world that I never took notice of anything else.
"When do we leave for home?" I ask.
"Tomorrow, so we need to start packing." She replies excitingly.
Packed and ready, we are standing outside the Hogwarts' Express, waiting for the doors to open so we could find a compartment. When we find a compartment we chuck our suitcases on the shelves, shut the doors and lie down on opposite benches, making small talk. I begin thinking of the time when Lily said in Potions that I was welcome over for Christmas. I wonder whether she meant it – though I doubt it. I haven't been to her house for Christmas since I was a kid. Thinking of the past, my heart warms up. Thinking of the future, it warms up a little more knowing Lily is still in it, for now. We pass the hours with a few games of Wizard Chess, and a round of a petty little muggle game called 'Paper, Scissors, Rock" that Lily taught me when I was a kid. When the train finally arrives, I realize I have no transport to get home.
"Do you want my parents to drive you home?" Lily asks, as if she read my mind.
"That'd be great, thanks." I say awkwardly. I'm not one for company, but it does mean more time with Lily. As we get off the train, Lily's parents rush up to grab her luggage.
"Mum, is it ok if we drop Sev off?" Lily asks after exchanging greetings.
"Of course!" Her mum replies enthusiastically. It's easy to see where Lily inherited her energy.
"Would you like me to carry your bags Severus?" Lily's father, whose name escapes me, asks. I start feeling highly uncomfortable by my unusual acceptance. I am never accepted by anyone, and I wasn't expecting to be accepted so well by the Evans' family as an awkward teenager.
"It's ok, thank you Sir." I reply.
"Victor, call me Victor, Son." He replies with a clap on my back.
As we begin walking to their muggle vehicle, I notice Petunia who is talking into a square thing. When she notices us, she puts the square thing away and her face adapts a frown as she crosses her arms. Well, most of the Evans accepted my company.
"So tell me baby
Can you hear me?
I sent a message out into the dark
It's a mystery
When you're near me
I've gotta find my way to your heart
I've gotta find my way to your heart
I've gotta find my way to your heart"
-Into the Dark, Ben Lee.
To clear any confusion up, it is a Sunday at Hogwarts.
I hope you enjoyed it, I'm slightly disappointed with the way I wrote it, my grammar isn't what I hoped. But I will stop complaining :).
Please Read and Review, it makes me very, very happy! Especially when I wake up with reviews :)
I hope to bring the next chapter soon, and I hope I'm not letting anyone down! Feel free to make any critical notes, comments, suggestions etc. It is all appreciated.
Missteque