Watery eyes stared straight ahead, pale hands grasped each other so tightly that Tori was almost afraid that bones would shatter soon. Her mouth sucked in a slow breath but other than that, no other sound got over her lips. Tori didn't really know what to expect when she stood in front of the door but somehow… not this. The door had swung open and revealed a disheveled Jade, blank expression on her face. Wordlessly she had stepped away from the doorway and walked to the sofa, slowly sitting down on it. Tori had stepped in, quietly closed the door behind her and walked over to where Jade was sitting, she too taking a seat after a moment of reluctance.

Not a word had been spoken since then, not from Jade, not from Tori. But now, almost fifteen minutes in this heavy silence, Tori decided she couldn't take it anymore. "Jade?" Her voice sounded so loud to her own ears, Jade's name crashing into the quiet room, even though Tori was almost whispering. "Jade, do you… Can I do anything for you?"

Jade slightly shook her head and took another deep breath before she finally turned towards Tori. Her head turned slowly, her eyes settling on Tori's. "It was four years ago," she croaked out, softly, "Four years ago… She just left me all alone."

Tori felt her heart crack when the words left Jade's lips and a lone tear trickled down her pale cheek. Jade quickly wiped it away but it wouldn't take long until the next ones would escape. As if she was suddenly ashamed of Tori, Jade quickly turned her head away, to the other side, and shifted on the sofa, nails digging into the flesh of her hands. Absentmindedly Tori wondered, if Jade even felt the sharp sting of her nails or if she already was too far gone emotionally to feel physical pain. In a quick moment of courage, the brunette reached out and laid her hand on top of Jade's tightly fused together ones, softly running the pad of her thumb against her skin. Her hands relaxed instantly at Tori's touch, causing for them to limply lie in Jade's lap. "I don't know what to do, Tori." A shaky inhale. "Every day is just so… hard and… I just don't know what to do about it. With every year that she's gone… I relive that whole week over and over again."

Tori stayed quiet, her entire attention reserved for Jade as her thumb continued its soothing motions. Teary eyes closed briefly, head slowly shaking from side to side. "I still remember everything so clearly and I just wish that I didn't. I just want to forget the way she just… slipped away even though I held on to her with all that I was, I… I just hate this day so much." A loud sob broke out of her mouth at the same time as her eyes opened again and a couple of tears trickled down her face. "But then again, it's… today… Today is the only day I'm allowed to be sad. I can mourn her today, cry for her, without being judged for it or having someone tell me to leave the past behind."

A sharp sting shot through Tori's chest, her eyebrows creasing. It's the day she's allowed to be sad. It made Tori feel sick to her stomach that Jade really felt like that, and even though she knew that Cat and Robbie were great friends to Jade and even though she knew, that a situation like this must be hard to handle, Tori couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of resentment towards Jade's friends. How could they let their friend, someone who was just so completely filled with grief, someone who just wanted to be understood, how could they let her think that mourning the one person she cared so much about was only okay on one specific day?

She shouldn't feel that way and Tori would be damned if she would get added to the list of the people, that did make her feel like that. "Jade, no one can allow or not allow you to feel a specific way about something," Tori softly said and gave Jade's hand a light squeeze. The action had its desired effect as Jade slowly moved her eyes towards the other woman sitting next to her and, almost timidly, glanced up at Tori. "You can't control the way you feel about someone."

A light smile formed on Tori's lips in an attempt of spending the broken woman a tiny splinter of comfort. Gone was the small scrap of embarrassment in Jade's eyes, now replaced with something else; something like curiosity. "Sometimes… I mean, not even Cat understands that… I miss her, and that not just today. I miss her every day of my goddamn life. And as much as I may want to, my heart won't just stop missing her. It can't."

"Well, it doesn't have to." Tori shot her a soft smile. "No one expects that from you."

Jade's nose pushed out a gush of air as the corners of her lips lifted into a twisted smile. "Everyone expects that from me." Jade sharply interjected before another sound could leave Tori's open mouth. "And don't even think about telling me that that's not true. I've heard it all a million times: 'Jade, it's been a long time. Maybe it's time to leave it behind you.' 'Don't you think Lia would want you to be happy, Jade? She'd hate seeing you like this.'" Jade shrugged Tori's hand off and let a bitter chuckle rumble in her chest. It always amazed Tori how fast Jade could switch from one emotion to the next in just a matter of seconds. "Even Cat is getting sick of it! Why else would she have gotten that idea about you and me?"

Jade looked at her with raised eyebrows, an angry little spark in her eyes, and Tori bit her lip, shifting uncomfortably while she listened to Jade. "I get that she wants me to be happy but it just doesn't work like that. She doesn't understand that though. And that's okay, I guess, but… I just hate that everyone keeps telling me things I already know." She ended her small rant with a deep breath and closed her eyes. Not really knowing what to say, Tori stayed quiet and watched as Jade shook her head. "Forget it. Just… forget it. I shouldn't have called you."

Tori's eyes widened. "No! No, you did the right thing." Tori bit her lip as Jade slumped against the sofa, her eyes running over her face, spotted with marks of dried tears. With a shrug, she said "I mean… you stopped crying. That's an achievement."

Incredulously, Jade turned her head, gaping at Tori before letting out a curt, humorless laugh. "Wow, you really are something, Vega." Only now, Tori started to realize how stupid her words must have sounded but thankfully, Jade didn't seem to mind. While releasing a tired sigh, Jade let her head fall back on the backrest and let it roll to the side so that she could face Tori. Her eyes fluttered shut. "Would you mind staying with me today?"

Leaning back on the couch, Tori smiled. "No. I'll stay as long as you want."

A smile – one of the smallest Tori had ever seen, but a smile nonetheless – made a short appearance on Jade's lips, before it vanished, just as quickly as it came. She turned away from her then, blankly looking into the room and Tori suddenly got the urge to ask why she called her. Why didn't she call Cat or her brother? But just as that thought came to her mind, the answer posed itself right away. Jade finally understood that she wouldn't judge. And while Tori wasn't so sure about Jade's brother, she definitely knew that Jade would have a hard time calling Cat, for the reasons she just told her. Biting her lip, Tori looked at her hands for a long moment before glancing up at Jade.

"Will you tell me about her?" She deliberately avoided saying Amelia's name out loud but even so, her heart nervously accelerated and her breath shortly stopped when Jade's blank face turned to look at her. Only a couple of seconds passed before she monotonously replied.

"I'd rather not."

"Figured," Tori murmured with a smile and nodded slowly, looking ahead.

"What about you?"

Tori frowned, turning back to see Jade still watching her. "What do you mean?"

Jade took a deep breath and shrugged one shoulder. "You're still single, aren't you?" She took in Tori's hesitant nod. "Why's that?" Tori's mouth opened but nothing came out as her brain tried to come up with a good answer. "I mean," Jade continued, "You have a good head on your shoulders and… you're nice and you go out of your way to help people, best example: me. People usually really like that. And let's face it, you're far from hideous-looking." Tori looked down at her lap, a deep blush coloring her face. Jade smirked and rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Well?"

"I… Um…" Letting out a loud sigh, Tori shrugged her shoulders and began playing with her hands. "I don't know. I guess I… haven't found someone I really could picture spending my life with yet."

Even though Tori wasn't looking at her, she could tell Jade was confused, if only by the tone of her voice. "So… you've never been in love?"

It took a while for Tori to answer but when she did, she looked up at Jade, hoping the blush was long gone by now. "I thought I was. About two years ago, I dated this guy… Ryder. I thought he was perfect at that time. He was handsome and charming and nice." She released a loud sigh, looking down at the couch. "Then he cheated on me. I was so disappointed and hurt. But when he came crawling back and asked me to forgive him… to start over… I realized that… I really wasn't in love with him at all. I could have forgiven him, I guess, but… he just wasn't worth it."

She lifted her head and weakly smiled at Jade, who just kept sitting there, staring at her with her eyebrows creased. "Hm," Jade hummed, her face relaxing, "That's a shame. Well, new city, new luck, right? Maybe you'll find that person who's worth it here."

I already found her. The thought popped up and raced through her brain before she could stop it and made her heart skip. Tori smiled, nodding. "Yeah. Maybe."

Jade's lips curled into a genuine smile. "Thanks for coming, Tori. I think… I just needed to get some things off my chest… I," She hesitated, smile dampening and eyes flicking back and forth between Tori's. "kinda feel better."

Tori nodded and shot her a smile of her own. "Anytime."

…

Hesitantly, Tori switched on a small lamp in Jade's living room, a warm glow filling the space, still leaving the room dark enough as to not disturb Jade. She was curled up on the couch, her gentle breaths making her chest move in a steady rise and fall, and her fingers softly curling around the edge of the blanket Tori had thrown over her body. She fell asleep half an hour ago, after the two women just settled for turning on the TV and watched reruns of 'Friends'. When her eyes had started to flutter close every now and then, Tori had softly whispered for her to lay down, to which she hadn't resisted and almost immediately, sleep overcame her tired body.

Tori cringed as Jade's phone went off, noisily vibrating on top of the wooden surface of the coffee table. Cat's face flashed up and after a moment of hesitation and a careful glance at the sleeping woman, Tori reached and snatched up Jade's phone.

"Hello," she hushed into the phone, "It's Tori."

"Tori?" Cat paused. "Oh, um… sorry, I must have… dialed the wrong number or something…"

"Oh no, you… You called Jade's phone. She's just sleeping right now." Tori lifted her hand to her mouth, her teeth gently biting down on her thumbnail and her eyes keeping their steady gaze on Jade while she waited for Cat to say something. When nothing came, Tori frowned. "Cat?"

"Uh… sorry I… sorry." The redhead cleared her throat before confusedly continuing. "I just wanted to call and… see if Jade needs anything because… it's Lia's… you know, and…" Tori quirked an amused eyebrow and smiled while Cat rambled on, her eyes straying away from Jade as she took a seat on one of the bar stools in the kitchen area. Cat finally broke off, sighing loudly, before asking "What are you even doing at Jade's?"

"Um, well, Jade called me and asked me to come over. So…" She trailed off, once again listening to silence on the other end of the line.

"Oh. I see…" But it didn't sound like that at all, her tone almost doubting. Suddenly feeling like she had to defend herself, Tori straightened up in her seat. "She just needed someone to talk to. I think I managed to distract her a little. And now she's sleeping, which is good, right? I mean… yeah."

"Yeah sure, that's good. I was just surprised. That she… called you, I mean. Jade usually wants to be left alone on this day." Tori's eyebrow arched at Cat's words. Maybe she just wants to be left alone from all of your lectures and your lack of understanding. So badly did Tori want to say that to Cat's face, make her understand just how hard of a time Jade went through on a daily basis still, but for the sake of Jade, Tori stayed quiet. "Well anyways, is she doing okay?"

"Well, as okay as she can be, I guess. Like I said, I think I managed to distract her from… what today is." Glancing over at Jade, Tori bit her lip. "Don't worry, she's fine."

"Okay. Goodnight." A beat passed between them, before Cat asked "Wait. Are you staying overnight?"

"I… don't know yet," Tori admitted, running her eyes over Jade's sleeping form, "I'll wait until Jade wakes up and then… then I'll see."

"Good idea. Well… Bye then."

"Bye."

A quiet sigh left Tori as she hung up, the screen of Jade's phone turning black.

"Who was that?"

Tori's head snapped up, her eyes settling on sleepy blue ones staring at her from across the room. Putting a smile on her face, the brunette stood up and walked over to Jade, placing the phone back on the table. "Cat. Wanted to know how you are." Jade nodded, then snuggled her head deeper into the pillow. "I hope it was okay that I answered your phone."

"Yeah, yeah," Jade mumbled dismissively and closed her eyes again, "Not a problem." Tori nodded, more to herself, and bit her lip, watching as Jade took a deep breath. "You don't have to stay, by the way. I'm a big girl. I'm fine."

"Well, I don't mind, really."

As Tori took a seat on the coffee table, Jade's eyes fluttered back open. Her eyebrows dug down a little and her lips pursed as she stared at Tori intensely, her eyes almost boring through her head. She seemed to contemplate something so Tori stayed quiet, but couldn't help to bite harder down on her lip. "She was a really horrible cook," she stated at last, making Tori's eyebrows shoot up. Jade lowered the blanket from where she held it at her chin and swallowed. "Do you still want me to tell you about Lia?"

She didn't hesitate answering. "Definitely."