BitterSweet Chapter 13:

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling hence I own none of the characters etc etc..

Severus Point Of View:

"Did you forget to lock the door?" Lily asks, as she walks through the doorway.

"No. Why?" I ask, confused, stepping into the hallway. I switch a single lone light that slowly flickers on and close the door behind me.

"You don't lock the house when you leave…?" She inquires, slowly venturing down the hall.

"I don't see much point…there isn't much to steal…" I mumble, sure that she heard me. I walk past Lily and into the kitchen, turning the second light on. I look around to see Lily standing in the hallway, staring at me. I immediately start to become very self-conscious of the house and its ugly state…it must be terribly degrading for her to see.

"I know it's not much, but I don't normally spend my time here. I'm sorry there isn't much I can offer you." I say, trying to explain the situation. Lily rolls her eyes at me.

"It's fine. A bit dark, but it must have an amazing history. Thank you for letting me stay the night. Will your parents be ok with it?" Lily asked sincerely, looking around expecting to see my parents. I grimace at the thought of what they would say if they were here, but I quickly smooth my face over before Lily sees.

"My parent's don't care. Besides, they aren't here - they're at Prince Manor." I reply. As I look at her face, the bags under her eyes become more obvious and her teeth are still chattering with the cold.

"Would you like to go to sleep?" I ask, feeling the embarrassment creep up on me at the unusual situation. Lily looks at me sheepishly.

"Yes please." She answers, rubbing her eyes. I quickly think of where she could sleep and only come up with 3 choices: my parents' bed, the couch or my bed. My parents' bed is a no-go zone; not even they go up there. The couch stinks of Tobias' sweat and ale…which leaves the only option of my bed.

"Right." I say, clearing my throat and striding out of the room, not bothering to check whether she is following. As I walk up the stairs I thank Merlin for the fact that I cleaned my room earlier. I hear Lily following quietly behind me and when I reach my room I spin around to face Lily.

"Do you also need something more appropriate to wear?" I ask, my voice sounding a bit strained.

"Yes please." Lily breathes. Without another word, I stride into my room and scan the few pieces of clothing I own. Feeling extremely embarrassed, I quickly glance over at Lily to see her looking away, then strip off my skivvy. Setting it aside for Lily to wear, I use the last of my 10 spells and transform my school robe into another skivvy.

"Come in." I call out to Lily. As she steps slowly into the room I hand her my green skivvy. "You can sleep in my bed, tonight. And wear this." I say, trying not to sound harsh. Even in the dim light, I can see an unusual blush crawl onto her cheeks ask she grabs my skivvy.

"Are you sure? Where are you going to sleep?" She asks. I start shifting from foot to foot.

"I have somewhere to sleep, don't worry." I lie. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Ok Sev, as long as you're sure you have somewhere to sleep…" she yawns, looking longingly at the bed. With a nod of my head, I exit the room and go down stairs to the kitchen, letting her get to sleep. I get out the tin of coffee and begin to brew myself a cup as I sit down on a kitchen chair. I start thinking of Malfoy's letter and begin to get paranoid at every sound, scared someone would try to come and hurt her. Eventually, after a couple cups of coffee, I walk into the lounge room grabbing a spare blanket and lie down on the floor; after all it's better then that blasted couch. As I lay down, I hope that I will be able to get back up before Lily finds me here. It doesn't take long for me to drift off to sleep, but almost immediately nightmares appear instead of dreams.

-- -- -- -- -- --

"You have gone your way, and I have gone mine." Lily declares, standing outside the Gryffindor Common room. She turns and exits through the portrait hole, leaving me hurt and forever scarred.

The scene shifts and I appear again, but sitting down and reading the Daily Prophet. The paper announces the Wizarding World's most beloved heroes – Lily and James Potter- are expecting a son. I throw the paper down, and knock a coffee cup off the table, watching as it shatters into oblivion, like my heart.

The scene shifts again and I stand outside the Potter household as I hear Lily scream for her life as Voldemort murders her. Despite being in the dream, I scream out, helplessly: 'DON'T KILL HER!', but all I can hear is the cruel laughter of Voldemort get louder, until he whispers in my ear.

"You will never get a moments peace. Lily Evans will leave you, or be killed. You are a worthless scum, and you will die for your mistake…"
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

"NO!" I scream, waking up, panting. I sit up slowly and bury my head into my hands, wondering what on earth I've done. In the distance I hear small steps walk across the floor, and I look down to see the cover from my bed covering me. Grunting in embarrassment and frustration I lie back down as I realize Lily would have heard me call out. As if I needed her to see how vulnerable and stupid I am.

Deciding its best I move on, I get up from the ground and walk to the bathroom, to make myself somewhat presentable. I attempt to straighten myself up and groom my hair with my hands, but discovering it useless, I walk upstairs to find Lily. As I peek through the door, I see Lily looking out my window, holding herself lightly. I knock on the door, alerting her of my presence. She turns around and gives me a sleepy smile.

"Morning." She greets. I don't reply but look at her standing there, with my skivvy on, and despite her messy hair, she takes my breath away. She coughs a little and I realize what an idiot I must look like, staring at her.

"Would like some coffee?" I offer, understanding she might want something.

"Sure." She smiles, following me downstairs into the kitchen. As I boil the kettle and prepare the cups, Lily sits down at the table taking in all of her surroundings. I set a cup of coffee in front of her and take a sip of mine, neither of us making conversation. I stare around, purposefully avoiding her eyes, which I know are now trying to grab the attention of mine.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks, dropping all façades.

"No." I snap, my eyes finding hers. She sits back a little, and she starts to frown.

"Considering its Christmas, I am not going to force you right now, but you will tell me later." She says stubbornly. I groan slightly. She is about to say something else but is stopped by a light tap on the window. I grasp my wand, but upon seeing Lily's owl, relax and open the window to bring her in.

"Rosemary!" She squeals, running over to her owl in excitement. I smile slightly to see her so happy. "I wonder who it could be!" She gushes.

I sit down, and watch Lily come over to the table and take apart her letters.

She opens the first one.

"Dear Lily,

Merry Christmas!

Did you finally get your first snog? I hope it wasn't James…but then again…

Anyways, have a great day!

Mary McDonald."

Lily reads, blushing furiously. I sit back in my chair, thinking about how I was her first kiss-

"Can't that toerag ever leave me alone!?" Lily yells exasperated, interrupting my thoughts. I look at her in amusement, until I see the seal of the letter. Potter.

"Just read it." I say, trying to appear un-phased. She looks at me warily, knowing my utter hatred for the boy, but opens it anyway.

"Hey Lily,

Wondering if you wanted to catch up for Christmas? I know you were kidding about Snape coming over to yours!

If you want, we can catch up at this cool little place I know downtown, and you can bring a few friends if you want. Or it can be just us. I don't mind.

Looking forward to seeing you,

James Potter."

I watch as Lily's cheeks flush, and I clench my fists together.
"Are you going to go?" I ask, closing my eyes.

"Why would I go?" She replies, bewildered. I open my eyes.

"Why wouldn't you go!?" I retort, my anger getting the better of me.

"Because I prefer to spend my time with you. Besides, I meant what I said at school. You're coming to my house for Christmas." She replies readily, determined.

Despite myself, I chuckle.

"Do you really think you're family is going to want me there for Christmas? I don't."

"Well, they do. I know they do. Stop being such a baby and suck it up my little Prince. You're coming with me for Christmas. Now, I'm going to go get ready, and I suggest you do the same." She demands, her hands on her hips.

"But I can't get ready, because you're going to be in my room…" I say, a smirk playing on the corners of my mouth.

"You know what I mean!" She says, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, Ma'am!" I yell, sitting up straighter and saluting. She just pokes her tongue at me, picks up Rosemarie and walks upstairs and into my room. I get up quickly and run into the bathroom, getting myself ready. I can't help but smile as I think about what has just happened. She completely changed my moods within minutes; a feat not even I can manage.

"Sev, can you hurry and get out of the bathroom? I need to get ready and-" I open the door instantly only for Lily (who had obviously been leaning against the door) to grab me, in an attempt to stop herself from falling down. I look down into her eyes and for a sweet moment, our gazes remain locked and neither of us move. Then suddenly, she leans towards my face and kisses me lightly, before running into the bathroom and slamming the door, giggling.

"Thanks Sev!" She calls from the bathroom. I shake my head, delighted, and walk off into my bedroom to grab my jacket.

By the time Lily and I are both ready, it is already 10 o'clock in the morning. Standing in front of the door, ready to leave, I excuse myself and quickly run upstairs, emptying my money-pouch for all my muggle money then running back downstairs. Lily just looks at me curiously but remains quiet and exits the house. As we walk to her house, we talk – well mainly Lily talks- about Christmas.

"I have always loved Christmas; it's always been my favourite day. The wondrous feasts, amazing decorations. But best of all, its best when you spend it with those you love." Lily declares, quickly glancing over to me, then away. But before I can say anything (or cough), Lily starts squealing.

"Oh my, they put up the sign! I thought they wouldn't do it this year because we're older, but they did!" She squeals, grabbing my hand and racing towards her house. She only stops when she is mere centimeters from the peculiar sign which is planted in their garden that says:

'Santa!

Don't forget to fill LILY AND PETUNIA 's Christmas Stockings tonight!'

But before I can even ask who this blasted Santa is, Lily rushes through the door, forgetting the previous day's events, dragging me with her.

"Merry Christmas Mum! Merry Christmas Dad!" She greets, running into the lounge room and leaving me in the doorway.

"Merry Christmas, Lily." They reply in unison, their voices relieved.

"I have somebody to join us for Christmas, but our guest seems to think he's not welcome…" Lily states inappropriately.

"Everybody is welcome in this house." Her mother replies. Without warning, Lily exits the lounge room, grabs my arm and drags me in.

"You didn't have to say that." I whisper to her.

"Shush. It's Christmas." She excuses. I turn to face Mr and Mrs Evans who are both staring at me…intently.

"Merry Christmas. Mr. and Mrs. Evans." I greet politely, hoping nothing about last night was told to them. But what happened next surprised me. Mrs. Evans got up from the couch and embraced me.

"Merry Christmas, Severus. And please, call me Diane." Mrs. Evans says, pulling back and looking at me.

"And you can call me Victor, son." Mr. Evans reminds me again, patting me on the back. I start to cringe slightly from the open affection, but Lily saves the day.

"Now, I am sure you're all full of questions, but I'll settle them over dinner. Now, where's Tuney?" Lily inquires.

"I'm here." Petunia replies in that snotty-nosed voice, standing at the doorway of the lounge room with her arms folded across her chest. Both of the girls stand there staring at each other, and nobody moves. Feeling the tension rising rapidly between the girls, I decide to leave.

"I will wish you all the best day – I'm off." I announce, aware of my muggle coins sitting in my jacket pocket. Diane nods.

"I'll take you to the door." She says, despite the fact I am perfectly capable of leading myself out. I look at Lily but notice she is to busy giving Petunia evil facial expressions so I just walk with Diane to the door.

"Severus, will you come back for the dinner feast?" Diane asks me, once out of earshot.

"Uh…"

"Please, you are always welcome here. It would be a joy to have you here today." She insists, and of course, I did the worst thing possible. I looked into her eyes, which are the same as Lily's, and found myself giving in.

"Sure." I say. I turn around and reach for the doorknob, but turn back around to face Diane.

"And I was wondering, are there any shops open today?" I say.

"Yes, but not many. Their just down the street." Diane says.

"And…uh…what is Lily's favourite gemstone by chance?" I ask in an undertone to avoid being overheard. Diane smiles.

"Ruby." She replies, before walking off back into the lounge room.

As I walk away from the house I try to remember which direction the sops were. Taking a guess, I continue to walk until I find a string of shops. It seems to take forever; walking in and out of boring shops (most of which are closed), until finally I find what I am looking for.

"Looking for anything in particular sir?" A man behind the desk asks as I near the display.

"Yes, that necklace there…how much is it?"

"£ 270 pound, Sir." He replies, eyeing me warily. I wonder distantly how many coins that means.

"I'll take it." I decide.

"Would you like it gift wrapped?" He asks.

"Yes please." I reply.

He takes the necklace off its stand, puts it in a box and wraps it lavishly. He puts the box in front of me and waits expectantly. I realize he wants money.

"I hope this is enough." I say, emptying my pockets of muggle money. I see his eyes bulge a little as he counts the money, and then he hands me back a few notes and coins.
"Thank you sir. Have a Merry Christmas." He says, albeit more heartedly.

Satisfied with my accomplishment, I walk back to Lily's. When I arrive I knock on the door and Lily opens it, smiling.
"Come in, come in." She ushers. I walk inside and take my jacket off, hiding the present inside it.

"Just in time, Severus!" Victor calls from the dining room. Lily leads me to the room and the first thing I notice is the extraordinary food; turkey, salads and vegetables all decorated and perfectly set out. The Evans family are all neatly seated around the table and I notice the vacant space left for me. As I sit down, Diane leans across the table, filling up my plate with food.

"Hope you excuse our laziness this year! We normally have amazing amounts of food…" Diane frets as I eat my first mouthful.

"This is the best meal I've ever had!" I declare, surprised at my own optimism. Diane chuckles in appreciation and for a few minutes, the only sound to be heard is that of cutlery against plates.

"So, Severus, what do you normally do for Christmas evening?" Victor asks politely, making conversation.

"Erm…I normally stay at Hogwarts…" I reply, continuing to eat. Petunia coughs slightly at my words but I ignore it.

"Very good. So where are your parents tonight?" he asks.

"Dad…" Lily says, trying to hush her father.

"They are staying with other family for tonight." I say, my voice a little strained. Diane covers my hand with her own and I look into her surprisingly sympathetic eyes.

"So you know Severus, you are always welcome here. Always." She says sincerely, for the second time today. She then withdraws her hand and continues eating, and I just stare at her. She continues her day as if what she just said is normal; to me, those words mean so much. Despite the fact it's embarrassing. I shake off my thoughts and continue eating, allowing myself to enjoy the food.

Once everybody finishes dinner, Diane, Victor, Lily and Petunia grab their plates and empty them in the kitchen. I follow their lead, balancing my plate and cutlery on one hand while carrying an extra dish in the other. I set them down on the kitchen sink and watch as Victor, Lily and Petunia leave the room with arms linked, and in an almost-trance. It's as if their all under some sort of magic spell…ha.

"Do you need help, Diane?" I ask. She grabs a tea towel and wipes down the bench before turning to me.

"No thank you dear, I'll do them later. Now its time to open all of the Christmas presents!" She says, pushing me into the lounge room. I walk over and sit by Lily, who is excitedly eying the Christmas tree which is now in full view.

"Glad to not have heard a smash; I was convinced Snape was going to drop that plate. Always taking risks…" Petunia comments aloud, not to any one in particular. I look at her and frown, but Lily puts her hand atop of mine and I turn my attention (gladly) to her.

"Isn't this exciting?" She whispers to me, practically bouncing in her chair. Unable to reply (for the whole Christmas thing is unusual and different to me) I am grateful when Victor hands Lily a present, which receives her undivided attention.

"Thank you dad." She says, hugging her father's torso. He smiles and walks away, giving the other present in his hands to a moody Petunia who happened to still be glaring at me.

It was then that it really dawned on me what her problem was. I was intruding on their family Christmas. As soon as I realize it, I start to become increasingly uncomfortable and irritated with myself.

"I think my parents will be home by now - I should go." I lie suddenly, desperate to leave the family to enjoy the night. Diane starts to frown and Victor looks purposefully at Petunia, but nobody says anything in an attempt to stop me.

"Thank you all for the lovely dinner, and Merry Christmas." I say as I stand up, Lily standing up as well.

"That's ok Severus. Come back soon." Victor says, still staring at Petunia whose eyes are now downcast.

Lily and I walk to the door and I put my jacket on. I open the door and take a step outside before turning around back to Lily.

"Here. I got this for you – I hope you like it." I say, thrusting the present into her hands. She looks at me in shock then slowly unwraps it and gasps.

"It's beautiful Sev! I love it!" She says excitedly, taking the golden heart necklace out of the box and holding it between her fingers.

"I'm glad you like it." I say, blushing slightly. I'm hopeless. I start shifting from foot to foot as a fresh breeze of snowy wind hits my back.

"Will you put it on me?" She asks, looking at me through her luscious eyelashes. I let out a breath of air I didn't know I was holding in.

"Sure." I say my voice deep and rough. I take the necklace and wait until she turns her back on me and holds onto her hair. I place the necklace gently around her neck and close the clasp at the back. She turns back around to me and looks down at the necklace.

"I didn't get you anything!" She exclaims suddenly, looking at me. "I am so sorry!" She says as she steps forward and hugs me. I wrap my arms around her naturally.

"You have given me enough." I whisper to her, knowing she heard me. She leans up and kisses me on the cheek then resumes her hugging, leaving the house door open.

"You know you shouldn't have." She mumbles into my chest.

"It's Christmas." I reply simply, kissing the top of her head. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Sev." She says, smiling at me as she pulls back from me.

"Go on, enjoy your night." I tease, seeing her eyeing the Christmas tree through the window. She pokes her tongue at me playfully.

"I will. See you tomorrow Sev." She says, closing the door. I chuckle as I walk back to Spinners' End, amazed that my life has turned out the way it has.

Finally lying in bed, I let my thoughts consume me, and I realize that Christmas is a big part of the Evans' lives; it creates an unbelievable magical feeling that makes everybody happy. And that is why, I believe, Lily was so happy and extremely excited today…and why she loves Christmas so much…

I am so sorry it took so long to update. I have to admit, I've been quite disappointed about that. I will try and commit myself to writing faster. Please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes. Again, I have spent forever to try and correct it, but I am not perfect! (Unfortunatly!)

-Update-

One of my wonderful reviewers mentioned that I had three different names for Lily's dad. I can't believe I did that! I tried to pick the right name (with out knowing I picked one) and then changed it again. Editing my mistake, I figured I prefer Victor as the father's name.

--

I am wondering as readers whether you guys think I am losing my touch writing this story? I am so unsure at the moment.

I LOVE all of your reviews, and please ask any questions, and please feel free to read and review! They mean alot!

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I promise that Sev will get some sort of normality once their both back at Hogwarts.

Wishing you all the very best Christmas,

(Don't forget to R&R :P)

Love Angela (Missteque).