I didn't know how to feel when Dan said those things to me. It was the first time he had ever been critical of me like that. Even though I felt hurt, I was sure on one thing
I didn't want to lose him
I didn't want to upset Dan in anyway. So, I did what he said. By half term I had lost a stone and a bit. Dan said that I looked great. That made me so happy. But, other people disagreed. I was confused, it seemed people liked me even less now that is was thin.
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Gym was the only class Dan and I didn't have at the same time. It was always the hardest class for me. All the judgmental looks I would get while changing. It made me quite paranoid. Quite uneasy. But most of all
Scared
I was honestly scared of them. Just one look could terrify me. I wanted Dan here. So badly. I wanted him to hold me and tell me it was all okay. Tell me everything would be all right. But of course
He wasn't here
So here I was, getting changed after gym. In my usual corner, trying to look anywhere but those terrifying stares.
"Look at that, it's disgusting. You can see all his bones sticking out"
So it had started
A boy pointed at me, sneering those words as he turned to his friends which all laughed at his remark.
"I know. He'll never get anyone interested in him look like that. It would be like hugging a skeleton. He'll end up all alone"
Another boy. They were all looking at me now. I froze, just staring back at their hateful stares. I wanted more than anything to try give them some sort of come back about how I had Dan. But of course, I didn't.
I didn't understand
I really didn't
Why did they hate me all of a sudden? I thought they wanted me to lose weight. At least, that's what Dan had said.
"You know, He used to be all right looking, a freak, but all right"
"Hey Phil, you ever heard of a thing called food"
The horrible sound of their laughter filled the room. I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears back. Why are saying tall this? I'm not that thin. I just lost a little weight. No big deal.
"You need to get some of it like"
"You're like a rake. Is your mum not feeding you or something?"
"I bet he's never at home, I see him hanging around the graveyard all the time"
"He's such a freak!"
I kept my gaze on the floor as I hurried to get changed. they were just being mean. they were just trying to get to me. There's nothing wrong with me, nothing at all
"That's enough guys. Leave Phil alone"
That was the teacher, I guess he had been listening
"What have you got next?"
One of the boys shot him a small glare before answering with serious attitude
"English, How?"
"Go now, before the bell"
They all grumbled in complaint but complied and left. I was just about to follow them when my teacher came over
"Phil, Can I have a word?"
I nodded, reluctantly placing my bag back down and looking at him. I was fairly tall but this teacher was a freaking giant. It was really intimidating actually.
"I know it's not my place to say so Phil, but, I've noticed that you're looking awfully slim there days. Have you been dieting?"
"No. just watching what I eat…that's all"
He gave me a concerned look. I adverted my eyes, gazing at the floor again. Even the teachers now? I was a fine weight. There was nothing wrong with me.
"Is your mum involved in that? Does she know anything about it?"
"No"
"Okay. You should get going. The bell's gone"
I exited the room, standing outside the door for a moment. I heard his voice again, it sounded like he was on the phone
"Hi, yeah, it's me. Could you possibly get a hold of Mrs Lester. Phil Lester's mother for me please?…thanks"
He was calling my mum?
This couldn't be good