BitterSweet Chapter 17:

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling hence do not own any of the characters etc. etc.

Severus Snape's POV:

I wake up to the sound of crashing and mumbling. I sit upright in bed and try to interpret the string of words which are coming from what sounds like the lounge room.

"Dumbledore…ask…Riddle…hide…Horcruxes…" I heard Slughorn mutter, his words barely intelligible, as if he'd been drinking.

"Dumbledore…purpose…wine." He says aloud, his words followed by another bang as if to confirm my suspicions. After a little more scrambling, followed by a few profanities and the final slam of a door, the night once again falls under a heavy blanket of silence, as if to clear all evidence and doubt of something happening. Annoyed at being awoken by such peculiar circumstances, I grab my wand and luminate it, walking into the lounge room to find a clock. As I search the room, I see a few books toppled over and a few cauldrons upside down – nothing too unusual. I find myself staring at an 'S' shaped clock, which tells me that the time is barely 6.30 am. I walk back to bed, and I cannot help but admit I am confused – since when did professors, who have so many expectations and standards, come back to bed in a drunken stupor, two hours before the day officially begins? Ah, but I guess I have experienced such shock before. Despite being a muggle, I once had expectations of Tobias, who was a muggle lawyer. You'd think that those in the business would avoid the 'cracks within the pavement' which their clients fall into, but much to my horror and shock, Tobias seemed to jump into that lifestyle; destroying not only my childhood, but my innocence.

Frustrated, I sit in bed, staring at the wall. With sleep not returning any time soon, I eventually decide to get ready for my day and head to the Great Hall. I take one of the seats at the Slytherin table and I spread myself out, knowing no body will sit within two chairs of me…which is one of the many things I have missed of being apart of the intimate groups of Slytherin. The sense of belonging, of respect. The sense of power, and working for The Greater Good. The rest of the school – particularly the Ravenclaws- are blind to the future, for they cannot see beyond their grades and graduating from Hogwarts. As if that will matter, in the end. In the end, it won't depend on which Mediwitch secured a placement at St Mungo's, but which has more power, and which is more cunning with their spell-work and defense. Voldemort and the Death Eaters will be nearly unstoppable, and I could be one of them. But what would I be actually fighting for? Would I be fighting for the same thing as them? And, do I prefer to be up against the biggest, strongest army to face this earth, or to fight with them? These thoughts never cease, and I do seriously wonder whether I would prefer to be stupid, arrogant and immature, so such thoughts wouldn't occur to me. Even to escape these thoughts for a few hours would be bliss. But, I suppose I have lost many things, and have gained one thing. Lily. If I can somehow forever secure her safety, then I can only hope I would be satisfied. Nonetheless, I cannot help but admit being a Death Eater is a huge temptation and I, at times like these, wonder what it is I truly do want.

As the Hall begins to fill up with obnoxious students I move out of the hall, forfeiting seeing Lily to go for a walk. As I walk through out Hogwarts, in and out of the Clock Tower, pass the Charms classroom and up and down numerous stairs, I notice a door, beaten and old and one which I have never seen before. With a hand on my wand, I open the door to find a hallway, which I have also never known about. Luminating my wand, I walk down the corridor, curiosity at its climax, when a portrait calls out to me.
"Who – who goes there?" The portrait asks, his eyes shifting about as I come to a stop.

"I am a Slytherin student." I reply.

"Curious that a Slytherin, rather then a Gryffindor, makes his way up here." It comments. I can't help but feel confused – what on earth is it on about?

"Well, go on then, you're here to get what you want I suppose." It says, annoyed. "Dumbledore will be interested to hear this…" It mumbles. Frowning, I turn around with wand in air to see a big, black door, which (again) I hadn't noticed before. Without thinking twice, knowing that this was what the portrait was referring to, I enter the new room. I immediately notice the temperature change; it feels like it's dropped to the temperature level of the dungeons, which ironically makes me feel more comfortable. I step forward, my eyes locked on the centre piece of the room: the mirror.

I cautiously walk up to the mirror, circling it once or twice, wary of my surroundings – it wouldn't surprise me in the least if Potter jumped out, the Marauders ready to jinx. But, as I move closer to the mirror, I realize there is no danger, because of the lack of sound. In fact, there is no sound, besides the shuffling of my feet and my breathing. But it's curious that a mirror should stand alone in what seems to be a hidden-away place. What's so good about this mirror? Why is it here, in this room, with no one else? I've always hated mirrors – they always show me what I never want to see; myself. I generally avoid all mirrors, and all things reflective. Nonetheless, I am compelled, enchanted, by this mirror, as if some ulterior force is connecting me. I take one long look into its endless universe, and I only see myself reflected, my hair in a mess (due to lack of brushing), and I grunt, determined to get away, but the sudden changing of the reflected picture stops me. Before my eyes, I watch myself age, stopping at what appears to be 25. My hair and nose are somewhat similar, but there is a different air about me. My stance is stronger, more confident, almost powerful. As I stare at my – what I hope to be- future self, the image blurs again, strange colours of red, green and black entwining, to present me with a sight that makes me fall to the floor, the wind knocked out of me. I, Severus Snape, am standing tall and proud, with my arms around Lily, and hers around me, with what seems to be a mansion in the background. The picture radiates wealth and happiness. Overwhelmed, I am unsure with where to begin to look. I focus on my face, which has many stress lines, (which should be expected from me), but also a few laugh lines. I seem to be confident and happy. Then I look at Lily, who I notice is wearing a wedding ring. She is holding onto me tightly, her smile magnificent and glorious. Her face is as beautiful as ever and she seems unchanged by what ever years had affected me. I feel my heart yearn to have what I see – it aches. But what does this all mean? Is this the future? Or is it just showing me what I can't have?

A clock suddenly appears, breaking me out of my reverie. Before I can analyze the time, it chants at me: "You, student, you are late, late, late. You better run, run, run. I hope your day is great, great, great; full of fun, fun, fun!" Annoyed, I look at the time and realize I am not just a little bit late, but that I have almost missed all of first period, which was Potions – with Lily. I run down to the dungeons, and just as I reach the Potion's classroom, students begin filing out. I wait by the door for the chance to see Lily and apologize to Slughorn, when Narcissa slams into me purposefully, making me drop my books, earning snickers from the Gryffindors and a few Slytherins. Just as I bend down, two familiar hands reach out and attempt to grab my books. Embarrassed at being helped, I quickly bend down and snatch them up, my head accidently colliding with Lily's.

"Ow, Sev!" She squeals. Potter turns around and looks at us as the Marauders and other students move on to their next class. His presence irritates me. I look at Lily and see her blush slightly.

"Uh, sorry Lily. I didn't mean to." I say very quietly, before beginning to move into the Potions' room to see Slughorn.

"Oh, it's fine Sev. I'll see you later, ok?" She says, quickly giving me a hug before walking up the stairs. Potter gives me an angry look which I return with a menacing scowl, before turning into the Potion's room.

"Mr. Snape, where have you just been?" Slughorn questions as I reach his desk.

"Sorry, Sir, I had gotten…distracted." I excuse lamely. Since when was I unable to come up with an excuse?

"Well, Severus m'boy, make sure this doesn't happen again, or I will be forced to deduct points." He reprimands. I nod, but before I leave, he speaks again.

"Although, I believe I must give you a little punishment. Such slackness, Severus, does not help when your final years of schooling are about you!" He says, staring at me meaningfully, before turning away to the storage cupboard. "What to do…what to do…Ah huh!" He exclaims, pulling out a bunch of books. "I have – uh – been meaning to go through these for a while, and there are a few potion recipes I need to find." He says, handing me a list. "The recipes are in those books over there, but I am not sure which ones…could you please find them?" He asks while walking away, giving me no option but to oblige.

Scowling, I levitate the books towards me and position myself comfortably on my stool. 50 odd books piled precariously before me, I sort through each one, most of which have pages falling out and holes burned through-out them, as well as the bitter scent of mixed monkswood and rat's spleen. I gradually make my way down Slughorn's list, when I accidently drop one of the books. It lands on the stone floor with a loud thud.

"Severus m'boy!" Slughorn shouts. "Can you please keep the noise down; I have quite a headache today." He claims as he works on a potion.

"I wonder why." I mutter sarcastically. I pick up the dropped book and begin reading it, when I realize that it is a book on Horcruxes. It is THE book on Horcruxes. Entranced, I read and read. Lost in time, the sound of shuffling feet getting closer make me realize that Slughorn is making his way towards me. I quickly rip out a random page out of the book and stuff it into my robes. He reaches my desk and picks up the list of potion recipes.

"Ah, this is all m'boy! I found the other two recipes lying around…now I need you to help me make one of the potions please. I have many to make, with quite the tight schedule."

"Which would you like me to make?" I ask.

"You can choose m'boy." He replies. I scan the list. Majority of the potions I have never created, with the exception of Polyjuice potion.

"Felix Felicis." I choose. Slughorn smiles.

"Very smart, very smart. Well, be on your way! When you have finished, put the potion into phials and see me." He says while he walks away with my list in his hands.

Working away, I feel as though I can forget everything; or at least not have the thoughts so conscious. The heat of the cauldron flushes my face, the new scents of the unknown potion and unused ingredients exciting and almost intoxicating. Naturally, I add and skip a few steps, the whole process an almost blur – before I know it, the potion is created. The time seems to slip between my fingers. I look at my potion warily. The light, transparent colour is unlike any I have ever seen before, and I wonder if I've made a mistake. Frustrated, I procure phials and fill them.

"Severus, I have never seen anything like this! It has got to be one of the best batches of Felix Felicis I have seen! What did you do m'boy!?" He asks excitedly as I hand him several phials of the potion.

"I added some sliced wartroot to counteract the toad's stork. It seemed the right thing to do at the time." I answer.

"Well, I know you were here as a punishment, but I believe 5 points for Slytherin should be awarded! Absolutely marvelous."

"Thank you, sir." I say. "May I please go now?"

"Oh. Yes, yes. Just tell your professor it is my fault you have missed majority of the lesson. Oh, and you can take a phial if you like, as a little reward. Just be sure to put it to good use!" Slughorn says enthusiastically. I grab a phial and walk out of the dungeons to Herbology.

I eventually manage to escape my Herbology class and make my way to the Great Hall. I quickly eat some lunch, knowing I have some work I need to finish. As I eat I feel a cold hard stare boring into the back of my head. Not necessarily wanting to know who is staring at me so intensely, I focus on my food.

The next few days pass in a similar fashion; Slughorn comes back to my apartments drunk, I visit the mirror in the mornings and Lily remains distant. And there was always a person staring at me when I enter the Great Hall.

Little did I know that it was Lily who was staring at me so harshly for three consecutive days. And even more surprising, was the reason why.

Hello Everyone!

Well, finally another chapter has been updated, and is there any more point in apologizing for taking so long? If so, then I am sorry. I have had this chapter written for quite a while, but as I have mentioned before, I handwrite all my stories, so editing takes quite a while, and isn't in any way perfect. Also, I never type, nor write, my stories with family around, and so it has been difficult to get a few moments by myself!

My other story, My Own, should have the next chapter updated in a few moments, and both stories are currently undergoing their first overall edit, which I was meant to have done already, but, there are a few things I wish to sort out that may take a little thinking!

I hope you have all enjoyed this chapter, and please, please, please, if anyone finds anything wrong with my story, or if you feel I am losing my touch, please say so! I want to give my readers as much enjoyment reading the story as I have writing it.

Please read and review, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask and I will promptly reply!

Hope you all have a marvelous day,

Love Missteque.

SPOILER for HALF BLOOD PRINCE movie below.

******SPOILER FOR HALF BLOOD PRINCE MOVIE************

PS. I also enjoyed watching Harry Potter: THe Half Blood Prince - Alan Rickman did a wonderful job, as always, and the other characters were funny. I particuarly enjoyed Slughorn! However I was disappointed that there were so few 'Snape scenes', as my most beloved character was barely talking in the movie. Or that's my opinion!

Please, for all those who have seen the movie, tell me whether you like the interpretation of Snape's Spinner's End, whether you like his house, and whether you would like me to change my descriptions of his house to fit those of the movie. Personally, I was disappointed by his house, as it appeared as nothing like I had imagined.

Thank you :)