Wednesday,
January 1st, 2014
"You do know my dad's a cop, right?"
Ryder tilted his head and shot her a look, to which Tori only raised her eyebrows. "Of course I know that," he said softly and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. "I don't want anything from you... I just want to apologize."
Out of everything, this was the last thing Tori would have expected to come out of Ryder's mouth. She already prepared herself to scream for her dad, or even Trina – her sister was in no way inferior to her dad – but as the word 'apologize' left his mouth and the look on his face somewhat resembled remorse, Tori's tense body relaxed a bit and she stepped to the side, although still a little wary, and motioned for the man to come inside. He did, very reluctantly Tori noticed. Not once allowing her eyes to leave him, Tori closed the front door and slowly sidestepped him to take a seat on the sofa. "Let me guess, this is just another one of your tricks."
"It isn't." His eyes glanced at his shoes before almost timidly looking up into Tori's. "I really do want to apologize."
"You want to apologize?" She scoffed when he nodded his head. "For what exactly, Ryder?"
When he walked closer, his eyes straying away from Tori's, and he took a seat next to her, the brunette couldn't help but let the slight fear take over once again, causing her to create as much distance between them as it was possible on the red sofa. Tori carefully watched him take a breath, his elbows resting on his knees while he looked at his clasped hands. "I should have never… done what I did. I know I scared you and for that I'm really sorry."
"And you really expect me to believe that?"
He shrugged without looking at her. "Believe what you want. I know that I've been acting like an idiot and I really do regret it. Believe me or don't believe me. It's your choice."
Tori let a silence wash over them when Ryder stopped talking, she herself not knowing what to say. It was hard for her to figure out if he was serious or not, after all, he surprised her more than once with his behavior, so she really should expect him to lie. But then again, if he was telling the truth, she should at least give him a chance. Even if he didn't deserve it. "Why did you come after me?" This time he craned his neck to look at her. "And please don't tell me because you love me. I know you've been… pursuing other girls after I didn't fall for you."
Ryder made her wait a long while, sitting up straight while pushing out a harsh breath and rubbing his hands together. Finally, he said something Tori really hadn't expected to hear. "I needed someone to marry me before the New Year started," he simply told her while looking at the ceiling. His confession, instead of clearing everything up, only confused Tori more. "You needed… That's why… What?"
"Last year in January my grandpa died."
Despite it being Ryder that sat next to her, Tori couldn't help but feel bad for him. "Oh. I'm so sorry."
"Yeah, don't be," he dismissed curtly with an annoyed raise of his eyebrows at the thought of the old man that passed away, "He was a really big asshole. He hated me."
"Oh, well then I guess the asshole gene runs in the family," Tori joked with a smug grin, to which Ryder only sent her a surprised glance. Blinking, he cleared his throat in discomfort.
"Anyways, he… he mentioned me in his last will, for whatever reason I'm not sure. Probably just to torture me," he mumbled the last part under his breath but Tori heard it nevertheless, causing her to roll her eyes and urge him on. "You have to know, that old man was loaded. I don't know where he got all that money from but who really cares. I would have gotten 2.5 million dollars."
Tori leaned forward, intrigued. "You would havegotten?"
He sighed harshly. "There were some terms…"
"I see," Tori said, the outcome already dawning on her, "Go on."
"First one was, I had to have a steady job. Which I had and still have. Secondly, I had to sign a paper that, if I would have gotten the money, I would donate part of it to a good cause. Wouldn't have been a problem either. The last condition was…" He sighed and let his eyes wander to his ex-girlfriend. "I had to get married before the old year ended. That's where you… popped into my mind."
Tori snorted at the softness of his voice. "Wow. And what made you think that I would marry you?"
"It was worth a try," he defended himself with furrowed eyebrows, his face taking on an expression as if Tori had just insulted him, "I thought that maybe you'd still have feelings for me."
"Yeah right. Of course you would think that after you cheated on me with that blonde Barbie. Did you ask her to marry you too?"
Ryder rolled his tired eyes and clicked his tongue. "You were the first woman I asked and the only woman who I really could have pictured getting married to."
The insult that grew on Tori's tongue immediately died at Ryder's words, her face softening. "What?" she murmured softly, tilting her head to the side. The man next to her ran a hand through his dark hair. "You… you were the only woman who I could see in my future. You know, getting married to you, have kids. I just… I think you were the only person that… really loved me. Until I screwed everything up."
The only person that really loved him… The moment he said it, Tori felt bad for the guy next to her because she really hadn't been in love with him at all. Jade showed her what love was, what it felt like. Tori had never had that feeling before, the one that Jade continuously ignited inside of her, not even with Ryder. But she wouldn't tell him that. It would be cruel and now that she knew the real reason behind his creepy behavior towards her… Tori could understand him. At least a little bit. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Ryder loudly sighed and slapped his hands on his thighs. "So now you know. And I really hope… you will forgive me for what I've done to you."
Tori looked at him for a long moment, then, she slowly nodded her head. "Fine. Apology accepted."
A smile – not one of his arrogant and hurl-worthy grins but a real, genuine smile – found its way on his face before he looked away and straight ahead, a silence engulfing them. Then, his eyebrows suddenly creased and his head snapped towards Tori. "When did you start playing for the other team by the way?"
Tori's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"
"I was… pretty shocked actually when that chick introduced herself as your girlfriend." Tori felt a blush rising up her neck as Ryder eyed her curiously. "Or was that just something you made up to get rid of me?"
Tori's eyes involuntarily widened before she got a grip on herself and tried to do her best in keeping her cover intact. "No, it's… Jade is…" When she realized that her stammering only fueled Ryder's suspicion, Tori sighed and decided to… just tell the truth. "Jade is an amazing woman and she's so… perfect that… sometimes I don't really understand why she even bothers with me." Tori's eyes dropped away from Ryder's as a soft smile began shaping her lips. "Everything she does has me hooked on her. I've never felt so strongly about someone and… I… I don't care if she's a woman, I just know that… the way she makes me feel… that's how I want to feel every day."
When Tori lifted her gaze to Ryder again, she saw him staring at her with a blank expression. "So you won't marry me." Eyes widening, Tori was relieved when Ryder began to laugh. "That was a joke." He stood up, his hands sliding up his thighs until they were clasped in front of him again, he turned to smile at her and nodded his head. "I'll get going now before your dad appears and cuts off my head." After a pause and a grimace took a hold of his face, Ryder added "Or Trina. Trina's probably even more dangerous than your dad."
He shot her another one of his smiles, the ones Tori actually liked, before he murmured a quiet 'goodbye' and then… he left.
…
Friday,
January 3rd, 2014
Anxiously, she held her phone in her right hand, her fingers feeling slightly numb with how tightly she wound them around the object. It had been a constant war inside of Tori on the entire flight home, the question if she should just call Jade and ask if she could come over still unanswered. If she would get over herself and just dial Jade's number, Tori was sure that Jade would be happy about it and would maybe even offer to come over herself. After all, she missed her, Tori thought and couldn't fight the big smile that always appeared whenever she thought back to Jade's words. But then again, it seemed overly clingy and desperate… right? Couldn't she go one freaking day without seeing Jade? But she didn't see her for two whole weeks; that should count for-
Tori flinched when her phone suddenly vibrated in her hands. Sighing, she opened up the text message from her mom.
Don't forget to call when you are home, baby.
Without even bothering to text anything back, let alone call her mother like she requested her to, Tori flung her phone onto the passenger seat, her body slumping and lips forming a pout she had no control over. Neither her mom nor her phone were to blame for her frustration. Jade was. No… not even Jade was to blame. Although she hadn't really called again after Christmas, not counting that two minute call yesterday afternoon where she wished her a happy New Year, but quickly made up some sketchy excuse of why she couldn't talk at that moment. Maybe she was reading too much into it, yes, she probably really was. Tori knew New Years Eve wasn't that easy for Jade, especially since she was alone on a day… where you really shouldn't be alone if you don't want to sink into a possible depression. But it just was hard, and it got harder with every day that passed and with every little sprinkle of hope she got.
Tori rolled her eyes at herself and sat up straight, buckled her seatbelt and then made her way home, without calling Jade. She should at least wait until she unpacked her things, had a little bit of rest and got something into her stomach. After that, there would still be time and even if there wasn't… then so be it. No problem. She could handle that.
Man, she really should stop acting like a lovesick puppy already.
When the familiar building she called her home appeared in front of her sight after what had felt like an eternity of driving, Tori felt a rush of relief running through her and a smile tugging at her lips. Of course she loved her family, but especially Trina could be a handful sometimes. Her mood instantly brightened, Tori shut off the engine and eagerly jumped out of her car, welcoming the chilly air that wrapped her body up the instant she stepped her foot onto the dark asphalt. She heaved her suitcase out of the trunk before locking her car and walking to the door, struggling to get the key into the lock. Slowly, Tori walked up the stairs and towards her apartment, but when a bright white rectangle spot on her otherwise dark brown door caught her attention, she froze in the middle of the corridor. Hand tightening on the handle of the suitcase, Tori took hesitant steps towards her door, suitcase rolling after her. The white rectangle turned out to be an envelope, taped to her door with Scotch Tape. Frowning, Tori lifted her hand and gently pulled it off of the door, turned it around and slipped her finger under the flap, opening it.
With a tilt of her head, Tori took out the white card with a smiling snowman on the front and a 'Merry Christmas!' printed above him in a swirly red font. But before she opened it, a barely noticeable weight in the envelope registered in Tori's brain. Curiously she took the card between her teeth and shook the small glittering thing out of the envelope and into her open palm. It was a silver necklace, a clef with a glittering stone dangling off of it. The card still caged between Tori's teeth, the brunette's mouth formed a small smile as she looked at the gift, already having an inkling who she had to thank for it. Tightly enclosing her palm around the clef, Tori used her other hand to take the card out of her mouth and flip it open.
Music is what makes you move.
Music is what makes you groove.
Music can be good or bad depending on how it's used.
Music can make you choose different clothes to wear.
Music can make you change your hair.
Music can make you choose new friends.
Music can make you want to dance.
Music can make you fight.
Music can make everything alright.
Music can take care of you when you're alone.
Music can make everything feel like home.
Music can harm and take away.
Music can make you want to stay.
Music is the only friend I have.
Music is my Mum and Dad.
Music is what keeps me alive
When I feel like I can't survive.
And really, as she read the next few lines, Tori found her suspicion confirmed and felt her smile widening.
This is probably the lamest present you've ever gotten and I wouldn't even mind if you threw it away, as well as this hideous card. But maybe I have managed to put a smile on your face, which is really what matters to me. Merry belated Christmas, Tori.
Jade.
As she lowered the card and squeezed the pendant tighter in her hand, her teeth biting down on her lower lip in an attempt to muffle her huge smile, Tori was suddenly glad that she went straight home.
A/N: Poem's not mine. Nor is it Jade's.
I know you all probably expected way more drama around the whole Ryder thing - I know I did - but at the moment I only have a couple of 'scenes' and scenarios in my head that I want to happen, the rest is still open and progresses as I write so... sorry if it's a little disappointing but I couldn't fit him in anymore.