Friday,

January 10th, 2014

A yellow shimmer of light shone through the thin cream colored curtains Jade knew hung in front of Tori's window and built a light contrast to the dark blue of the sky above. Jade's cold hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, her eyes not leaving the lit window of the house across the street and ears still taking in the humming of the engine, even though she turned it off minutes ago. But after another long while of sitting in her car, Jade realized that it wasn't the engine she thought she heard, but her heart, and now she could even feel it, the pulse point on her neck pulsing, beating, driving her insane. It was ridiculous how nervous she got even thinking about seeing Tori. What would happen if she actually managed to ring the bell and climb the stairs? Would she pass out?

Jade raised an eyebrow at the thought. Maybe that wouldn't even so bad. At least then she wouldn't have to talk to Tori. "Oh my God, Jade," she said while rolling her eyes, "Get a grip on yourself." She didn't have to talk to her. On second thought, she didn't even know why she was here in the first place. Maybe she should just turn back around and… no! She was here now, it was too late to turn back and she would talk to Tori. Even if it killed her.

With this rush of determination, Jade swiftly opened the door and stepped into the cold night air, slammed her door shut and locked her car, before slowly making her way across the street.

But wait!

She stopped on the sidewalk in front of Tori's house. What would she say? An annoyed breath rushed out of her mouth and formed a white cloud in front of her. What. Would. She. Say? After another couple of minutes of just standing there on the sidewalk and her mind still blank, Jade's feet carried her to the door almost automatically. She would figure it out. She would just… let it come to her. Yes, that's a good idea. She would do that. Her pointer finger pushed the button next to 'Vega', which was actually easier than Jade thought it would be, and then she waited. She waited and waited, shifting on her feet when the cold air began to creep beneath her clothes and seep into her skin. After what felt like an eternity, the door finally buzzed and Jade slowly pushed it open. Here it goes. She took her time on the stairs, taking longer than necessary to climb every single step, and when she finally reached the top and she knew that after taking a left turn, her eyes would immediately fall on Tori, Jade would have loved nothing more than to turn back around and run all the way back to her car.

But she didn't do that.

Instead, she took that left turn, and just as she had expected… there she stood. Wearing her pyjamas, slippers on her feet, arms crossed and eyebrows creased, she couldn't look more adorable. Jade swallowed, before slowly approaching her. "Hey," she breathed out and stopped right in front of her, eyes locked on hers. But Tori blinked and dropped her gaze to the floor.

"Hi… I didn't expect you," she softly replied and walked inside without looking at Jade. This really wasn't starting off the way Jade wanted it to. But then again, she didn't really have a plan for how this would go, so who was she to complain? Jade walked inside, her stomach tying in knots when she closed the door behind her and Tori turned around, like so often her lip between her teeth. God, she looked so… so sad. Was that Jade's fault? Was she the reason that that beautiful smile was replaced by such an uncharacteristic sad frown? She remembered that look. It was the same look Amelia had carried with her in high school. That look was the mistake Aiden had talked about.

"Tori…" She took two steps forward and felt her heart break when she saw the same sadness that was etched on her face, in the depth of those brown eyes. "I'm so… I'm-" Sorry. You're sorry, Jade. But it wouldn't come out. Why couldn't it come out? Instead her mouth spit out something entirely different. "Have you been avoiding me?"

Oh my God! What was wrong with her?

Tori's teeth slid away from her lip and her jaw dropped. Why did she say that? She was the one who didn't want to talk, refused to call or see her, not Tori. Although… Tori hadn't called either so… no, no, no! Tori wasn't the problem. She was. "I… I haven't been avoiding you. I don't… You know, I just…" Tori's hand found its way into her wavy brown locks while she looked away from Jade and shook her head. "I knew… I knew you wouldn't really be up to spending time with me because you were… so different on Sunday and I… I didn't want to bother you. I didn't mean to… avoid you." Jade stood frozen on the spot and watched with guilty eyes as Tori let her hand drop from her hair and began playing with her fingers, her head hanging down. "I'm sorry."

Jade's lips parted at the apology and her heart sunk at the sight of the sad brunette. She blinked herself out of her frozen state and dug her nails into her palms. "No, don't… don't apologize. You were right, I was… It was my fault, not yours. I'm sorry."

Although still not back to her usual self, Tori's eyes at least lifted to meet Jade's. "What was wrong then? On Sunday."

Jade should have expected that question. She should have laid out an answer for it beforehand. So much for letting it come to her. "I was… I was in a weird mood that day."

"A weird mood? What does that mean?"

"God, do we have to dwell on it now?!" Tori flinched and her lip found the imprisonment between her teeth again, making Jade instantly regret for reacting so abrasive. She sighed tiredly and took the remaining steps that separated them. Almost on its own, Jade's hand reached out and fingers brushed over Tori's bare arm. The action caused the brunette to shiver and Jade was surprised when Tori's arm jerked away; she immediately retracted her hand and curled her fingers into her palm. "Are you scared of me?"

Tori's gaze lifted from the floor. "No. I wasn't-… I'm sorry."

"Please stop apologizing, Tor," she softly pleaded and her fingers found Tori's arm again, but this time, Tori stayed still. The tan skin underneath Jade's fingertips sent a delicious warmth through Jade's body, her heart drinking this feeling up so eagerly. Jade's eyes were fixed on her hand and her nails lightly grazed over Tori's arm.

"You called me Tor."

"What?" Jade looked up to find a small smile dancing across Tori's lips.

"You called me Tor," she repeated a little firmer, "I was just… you never did that."

"Oh. Sorry, is that some kind of taboo or-"

"No, no, no. It's not. Don't apologize."

The sadness was washed away now and Jade felt her mouth tilt up at the sight of Tori's happy smile being back. But then, as if she just realized what she was doing, Jade's hand fell from Tori's arm and her smile dampened. She looked at her shoes and cleared her throat before looking back up at Tori. "I'm just a little confused right now. With… with life and… and please don't ask what I mean because I… I just can't tell you."

"Okay. That's fine with me." Tori nodded and the smile never left her face, thank God for that. They both stayed quiet then, but when Tori craned her head and looked at the TV that was quietly playing, Jade realized how late it already was.

"Wow. Sorry, you were probably getting ready for bed or something, right? And I just barge in and-"

"No, I was… flicking through the channels… sitting on the couch… being bored."

"Then I guess it was a good thing I came over, huh?"

Tori grinned and rolled her eyes at the cocky smirk on Jade's lips. "It's always a good thing."

…

Monday,

March 31st, 2014

Time.

Time heals everything.

In this case, it actually seemed to have rung true. Over the last two and a half months everything and everyone found their right path again. It had been such a relief to Tori when Jade started to act normal again, or at least… partly normal. There had been a couple of times where… how should she put it… weird things happened to Jade. Sometimes she jumped at the lightest contact with her. Once, a glass had slipped out of her hands when Tori's arm brushed hers and afterwards the dark-haired woman had said that Tori bumped into her and that she really could try to be more careful of where she was going. Tori had simply cocked a curious eyebrow but refrained from saying anything, bent down and tried to help Jade pick up the shards, only to be quickly shooed away by the woman.

Simply put: She was still acting a little… wonky from time to time.

But that was okay. Let her act like she wanted to. Tori was fine with it if it meant that Jade and she could hang out regularly again, if it meant she could just spent time with Jade.

"So why are you giving them a clock?"

Tori used her foot to close the door of her car, while balancing Robbie and Cat's present in her one hand and a bouquet of flowers in her other one. "I've read on the internet that these kind of clocks- oh!" Tori could barely keep the box containing the clock from falling and paused, standing completely still. Jade rolled her eyes and walked over to her, grabbing the box out of Tori's arm. "Thank you. You wind it only once a year and that on the couple's anniversary. Apparently the traditional gift to give a couple on their first anniversary is paper and the modern gift is such a clock."

"Ah. I see." Jade pushed the doorbell and leaned against the door while eyeing Tori. "You and your gift giving skills. You're so creative with these kind of things."

Tori just shrugged and smiled following Jade when the door buzzed open. "Hey! My two favorite ladies!" Robbie said from the doorway. "Besides my lovely wife of course." Tori laughed and watched Jade playfully punch Robbie's shoulder. "Did you come together or do you just have perfect timing?"

"Came together," Jade said and took her boots off, "My car is at the auto shop. Happy anniversary by the way."

"Yes, from me too."

"Thank you!" He gladly accepted Tori's hug, took the flowers from her and closed the door behind his friend. "Go right ahead. Living room is where the fun's going down."

Jade was already gone and Tori quickly kicked her sneakers off and followed her, eyes immediately falling on Jade hugging the little bundle of red, then flicking over to Aiden who sat on the sofa, but stood up when he saw her. His smile was intoxicating and Tori wondered if that trait ran in the family. "Tori. Do you remember me?"

"Yes, of course I do," she said with a laugh and was surprised when Aiden's arms enveloped her in a tight hug. When he pulled back and noticed the surprise on her face, he chuckled. "Sorry. I'm kind of a hug person. Kinda hard to believe with a sister like that, huh?" He jerked his thumb in Jade's direction and winced playfully when Jade scoffed.

"I don't feel comfortable with people invading my personal space, so what? Not everyone can be like you and Cat." As an afterthought, she added, while running her eyes over Tori, "Or Tori."

Tori exchanged a look with Aiden, then said "I hug people because I care about them."

Jade crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side, striding over to Tori and her brother, but her attention solely stayed on Tori as she curiously squinted at her. "Are you insinuating something, Vega?"

Tori lifted her shoulders in an innocent shrug, the corners of her mouth tilting up. "No. Just that I care about you."

If she had just glanced to her right for a short moment, Tori would have seen a bright grin on Aiden's face. She would have seen that look he sent his sister. And she would have realized that Jade didn't even notice him, as her playfulness suddenly dropped and her eyes softened. "I see," she murmured thoughtfully, but before Tori could really try to decipher what was going on with Jade yet again, a clap diverted her attention.

"So," Robbie piped up, "Who wants cake?"

…

The car ride back to Jade's place had been mostly silent, with the exception of the wind rushing in through the window, the radio playing and Jade humming along to a couple of songs. So now, parked in front of Jade's building, was Tori's last chance for today, to ask what had been going on with her lately. But when she turned to face her, everything that came out of Tori's mouth was "Are you okay?"

Jade's hand reappeared from inside her bag, keys now pressed into her palm. She didn't turn her attention towards Tori as she answered. "Sure I am."

Tori looked down at her lap. "It's starting again, you know." Out of the corner of her eye, Tori could see Jade freeze, then turn towards her. "What is starting again?"

"Well… actually it has never really stopped." She slowly glanced up at a frowning Jade. "You're acting weird around me."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Listen… I'm tired. I'll go now. Bye."

Before Tori could even fully blink, Jade was out of the car. But this time around, Tori wouldn't let it happen again. She wouldn't let Jade shut her out, for whatever reason. She jumped out of the car and locked it as quickly as she could and jogged after Jade, barely managing to hold the door of the apartment building open, but succeeding. In the back of her mind she was actually surprised by how fast Jade was while she followed her up the stairs. "Jade, wait!" But she just kept going and going, until she stood in front of her apartment door and fumbled the key into the lock. "I said I'm tired, Tori."

"Yes, and I asked you to wait!"

Jade whirled around, abandoning the key in the lock, and glared at Tori. "Wait for what?!"

"I want to know what's wrong, okay?" she almost yelled, anger overshadowing the worry she felt for Jade. "You have these moments where… where you're acting all weird and I don't know what to make of it!" She paused and gave Jade a chance to speak up, but she stayed silent, her eyes looking at something off to the side, which only fueled her anger and made tears spring to her eyes. "Please just talk to me! I know what's going to happen if you don't, this is the same situation as two months ago!" This wasn't good. She should stop now before something entirely different shot out of her mouth, something she would most definitely regret. But Jade still wasn't looking at her and it was killing her. She was so… quiet. God, it drove her insane. Tori felt a tear roll down her cheek, but she didn't bother to wipe it away. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Nothing but Jade. "Please… please. I feel like I did something wrong. Did I? Did I do something wrong?"

That's when it happened. Jade's wide eyes snapped to her and her mouth stood open but Tori didn't understand. What was happening? Why was she looking at her like that? What did she say? What was that look in her eyes? Was it pain? There were so many questions, questions she just couldn't answer, questions only Jade could answer. But she was silent. She stood there and Tori just didn't understand. Why would she-

And then, without forewarning, her lips were on hers.