Full Fathom Five

Dawn swiftly shattered the night, licking the sky with gold and pink hues. The morning had come sooner than expected. Pandora's eyes weakly opened just as feverish knocks shook the door to her compartment.

"Dining car! 5 minutes!"

It was Catia, her voice was as shrill and grating as ever.

Pandora's nails dug into the covers. Her eyes narrowed in annoyance. All night she had been riddled with fear and nightmares, it had been that way all year but now the fears seemed more urgent, more real.

A moment past before she found her footing and crawled out of bed. Though daylight tried to creep through the curtains of her compartment, she kept them closed. Now the darkness was more comforting to Pandora than anything else, she felt secure and hidden.

Sleep lingered in her legs as she made her way down the narrow corridor of the train. When she reached the glass door she peered through and sighed. Her team was cawing like crows. Catia was exchanging boisterous banter with Vibia, while Caradoc and Lucius studied some design sketches. Her hand remained on the glass doorknob, suddenly a thought crossed her mind. She could sneak away, hide with the cargo, maybe jump off the train and make do somehow. After all it couldn't just be Panem, there had to be some place else out there, some place she could runaway to. But the longer she fantasized about the escape the more unreachable it seemed.

With despair her eyes lowered.

"Pandora!"

The voice was muffled.

She looked up in surprise to see every face in the dining car staring at her through the glass. Vibia was the one who had spoken. She was waving like a maniac.

"What are you doing out there!?"

Her face hardened as she twisted the knob and felt the door give way. The smell of perfumes and food attacked her nose. Judging by the selection of cuisine the kitchen was going full force. Everything from water to strange plum desserts stared back at her.

Something to her side moved. Her eyes twitched to the corner of the dining car vigilantly. As soon as she recognized the shadow her eyes relaxed. Lux Halstead was crouched near a window. The sight of him was unsettling and discomforting. His eyes were open but they looked void and glossy. It was obvious he was too doped up to function, or even look at Pandora.

"Pandora, dear, why don't you sit?" Catia whispered as she leaned closer to Vibia.

Her obedience was more spurred by hunger than anything else. Instantly she grabbed a roll and tore it in two. She always went for the bread first, it was so warm and sweet. In District 7 there were no bakeries. Most of the diet was vegetables and herbs, only on special occasions was there meat but bread was a rarity. It was one of the only things Pandora enjoyed about being back in the Capitol's grasp. Her eyes closed in delight as her teeth broke through the thick crust and her tongue savored the taste.

"We arrive in District 12 soon."

Pandora ripped another bite out of the roll and blinked her eyes opened.

"My speech—I don't have anything prepared."

"It's better that way," Caradoc interrupted, "Makes it more spontaneous."

"Or terrible," Pandora quipped.

"Now, now!" Catia sung, "Don't be nervous. They'll love you. The only thing is—"

Pandora furrowed her brow in anticipation.

"—District 12 is very poor, they aren't used to the benefits we have."

"We?"

Silence. Several heartbeats of tongue-tied silence.

"Pandora, is there something you want to say?"

Catia's voice took on a superior tone. Pandora narrowed her eyes. She wanted to say everything on her mind: that they weren't a we, that Catia had no idea what poor meant.

Instead her eyebrow arched, "I have nothing to say to you."

Instantly, Catia's gold lips pursed in anger.

"Alright—why don't we get started on your hair and makeup, yes?" Caradoc suddenly intruded, cautiously looking between their faces.

But Pandora didn't look away, not until Catia had dropped her eyes. Tension, so tangible and heavy, filled the room. Catia deserved it, on the surface Pandora knew this, but she couldn't shake the expression that had swept over that lavender face. It was fear, but something more.

Her eyes dropped to her hands as the guilt traveled to her face. When she lifted herself from the chair, she could hear Catia drumming her talons on the glass table. Pandora pulled on the door, feeling it efficiently slide.

"She's just so difficult," Pandora heard Catia say to Lux Halstead before she slammed the door shut and started down the corridor.

A scoff past her lips in disbelief. If anyone was difficult it was Catia Lawson, traipsing around as if she had control over Pandora. Her arms crossed angrily, she should have run when she had the chance.

The compartment looked like it had exploded with beautician supplies within only a few minutes of her stylist team's arrival. She sullenly observed the outfit Caradoc was pulling while Lucius and Vibia worked on her.

"Look up for me," Vibia asked, having eye shadow strategically placed between her fingers.

Pandora quickly replied, forcing her lids to stay open as the brush came at her eye.

"What are you doing with the curtains closed!" Lucius exclaimed, "It's so dreary in here!"

A wince flew past her teeth as he threw open the curtains. Suddenly the unnatural beautician lights were blotted out by winter's dulled sun.

"Lucius!" Vibia hissed, "You could have ruined her eye makeup!"

"Relax, I'm doing you a favor."

A memory cracked through Pandora's thoughts. The memory of her body bleeding on the gurney with sterile lights staring back her. Her retinas were burning, just as they had that same day. The memory made her feel nauseous. She closed her eyes tighter, bending into herself like a wild animal.

It wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she gasped and straightened up.

"Pandora? Is everything okay?"

Her eyes lifted. Vibia's jeweled eyebrows were staring back at her intrusively. It took effort for Pandora to hide the pain of that single memory, self-consciously she grabbed at her leg, the one that Scorch had broken in the arena.

There had been several times throughout the year when she would have flashbacks. Sometimes the memory would pull her in for a few seconds but other times it felt real, like it was happening all over again.

"I'm—" dryness cut her words, "I'm fine."

"Let's get a move on, now. We're on a schedule."

Vibia rolled her eyes at Caradoc's voice, "Don't rush art."

Pandora's gaze shifted past Vibia's shoulder as Caradoc came into view and studied her, "Don't look so worried, Miss Sullivan. Why don't you just enjoy the view?"

Her eyes followed his nod to the windows.

"Pfft," Lucius scoffed, "Some view."

Trees were flying past the windows. They weren't like the ones in District 7. These looked like skeletons covered in snow. Curiously she straightened her back to get a better view. There were hills, but nothing like the rolling knolls and mountains of her home.

"Are we near?" She inquired, forgetting Vibia's makeup and Lucius's hands pulling on her hair.

"Only a few minutes away."

Her breath quivered.

When her makeup and hair was finished she stood up and soundless walked towards Caradoc, as if out of habit. He simply beckoned her with a finger, pulling a piece of thread off of the outfit. It took both Vibia and Caradoc to help her into her skintight pants. The pants were dark brown, with gold threading on the side that was barely noticeable to the average viewer, Caradoc was a fan of details. The shirt she wore was beige and silk, clinging to her chest and arms.

A sigh of relief escaped her lungs when she realized the boots were flat and not heeled.

"Now then, just one more thing," Caradoc smiled as he revealed the coat.

It was rustic looking. The outside of the coat was made of soft brown suede, but the inside was lined with fur. That same fur made up the wide collar, which draped stiffly. There were no buttons or zippers, it was to be left open. Heat rose to her cheeks as she slipped it on, it would definitely keep her warm.

"Why all the fur?" she questioned, peering down at the long collar.

"You look good in fur," Caradoc responded, pushing her hair away from her face and sighing, "Plus, we want you to look your best, don't we?"

Her eyes darkly stared at him, "I suppose."

Suddenly the door flew open. Pandora could see Catia's reflection in the window.

"Alright we're about to pull in, let's go!"

She peered over her shoulder for a moment before following the assembly of people that had decided to gather around her compartment door. With every window she passed she tried to catch a glimpse of District 12, but it was hard to see anything with Catia pushing close behind.

Finally they stopped at a car next to the exit. Pandora rubbed her lips together as she watched the cameramen setting up. Only a few more seconds and her face would be broadcast across Panem.

She could feel the train slowing. Her gaze twitched to the windows and her brow furrowed. They were passing by manmade mounds, with elevators at the bottom. Her lips parted in confusion.

"What are those?" She whispered.

Catia cleared her throat, "Mines. District 12 supplies coal to the Capitol."

Of course, she thought. Pandora had forgotten. Her eyes saddened as she caught sight of men, covered in dirt and black dust, coming out of the elevators with buckets and pick axes. Some were her age and others were much older. She tried to remember the names of the Tributes from District 12 but nothing came to mind. For some reason this made sick.

With a jolt the train stopped.

"Alright—this is it!"

Pandora clenched her jaw.

"Cameras are on in 3…2…"

The cameraman waved his hand, just as a red light started blinking.

"Smile," Catia whispered in Pandora's ear, it sounded like a threat.

Abruptly the train doors slid open. Pandora adjusted her coat as the camera crew hustled out of the train and spun around to capture her image. The train platform of District 12 was in worse shape than her home District.

No applause waited for her, there was only silence.

As usual, a car was waiting at the steps of the platform. Snow fell like ash. Pandora was the first to climb in, but just before she stepped inside her eyes glanced towards a set of shanties. Instantly she froze. Near the edge of the run down buildings was a small boy, with dark hair and grey eyes. He was scraggly and obviously starving. Her heart stopped, the boy was staring right at her.

"Pandora, dear, what are you doing?"

She swallowed the sadness, forcing herself to look away before sliding onto the leather seats. When the car drove away she stared after him.

"Remember—the speech should be short and simple."

Pandora pressed her hand against the window, her eyes followed the boy. For a brief second she thought she saw him wave, but the car was moving too fast to tell.

"Pandora, did you hear me!?"

Her lips tightened, "Yes, of course—short and simple."

"Good."

"What about Lux?"

"Your mentor can barely stand, no matter though…we don't need him, do we?"

She pressed her back against the seat. Closing her eyes to block it all out. They didn't open till the car had stopped.

It was cold as she slipped out of the vehicle and followed her Capitol rep towards the Justice Building. A few paces away she could see the stage, people were already starting to congregate. Pandora was surprised by the heat that blasted her in the face as she entered the building. The District had turned it on in preparation for the tour, her ears picked up on the sound of hissing heaters as her boots pattered against the wood floor. Everything looked run down and neglected. It sobered Pandora.

Near the annex to the outdoor stage was a man. He was tall and balding.

"You must be Pandora?"

Cautiously, she stared at his extended hand, hesitating for a moment before shaking it, "Yes, Yes I am."

"Well, It's nice to meet you, I'm Mayor Undersee."

A photographer flashed a picture.

"It's nice to meet you too, sir."

"Daddy! Daddy!"

Pandora's eyes dropped to see a little girl pulling on the Mayor's pants.

"Not now, honey—I'm busy."

She stared at the little girl, smiling a little before she spoke, "No, it's all right. Is this your daughter?"

"Yes, this my daughter Madge."

Pandora's smile grew as she knelt down, "Hello, Madge. I'm Pandora."

The girl shyly ducked behind her father's leg, "Hello…"

"That's a pretty dress."

"My…" she blushed a little, "My mother made it."

"So sorry," The Mayor laughed, "She's shy."

Pandora glanced up at him and smiled, another flashed blinded her from the cameras.

"It's alright—how old are you Madge?"

Instinctively the little girl looked at her dad before replying, "11. I'll be 12 soon."

"Oh—my brother Dash is around your age, I'm sure you two would be great friends."

Again the girl blushed.

Pandora continued to grin as she lifted herself off the ground and nodded to the Mayor.

"Well—" he seemed speechless. He wasn't used to Victors being so kind. "We're looking forward to your speech."

Suddenly a woman with large glasses darted into the annex, "Sir, it's time."

"Of course, please excuse me," he peered to the woman, "Can you take my daughter?"

The Mayor gave Pandora a bow before disappearing through the doors, onstage. As Madge was being escorted down the hall she looked back, waving at Pandora with a shy smile.

"That was perfect," Catia whispered, itching Pandora's ears.

Pandora leaned away from her, grimacing. It was bad enough she had to see the people from Districts of dead Tributes, she didn't need Catia hissing in her ear the entire time.

Although she couldn't hear the Mayor's speech she waited for the cue for her to go onstage. Minutes past, minutes of fear. She tried not to bite her nails, or tap her feet, knowing that she would only be scolding for it.

And then, with a gust of cold air, the doors opened.

She paused before taking the steps. The dull light stung her eyes. There was no applause, music, or sound. Pandora could hear every step she took towards the microphone. Her eyes shifted around the crowd. Dirty, scrawny faces stared at her. District 7 wasn't wealthy by any means, but this was on a different level. It was as if the joy had been sucked out lives, leaving only desolation and grief.

Her hand gently rested on the microphone handle, it was cold to the touch. Her dewy lips parted.

"Thank you, Mayor Undersee," she smiled, peering towards the row of chair were he was sitting, "Thank you for that introduction."

He nodded with a smile in reply.

"I'm so glad to be here with you guys to celebrate,"

Silence.

Pandora fingers began to tremble. The only crowds she had been exposed to were from the Capitol, she was used to cheers, whistles, and claps but not this.

"I know that me standing before you means that you have lost two of your own,"

Pandora could practically hear Catia dig her gold claws into her seat.

"I didn't know the Tributes of District 12, but standing here today I know without a shadow of a doubt that they fought bravely and honorably."

Again, there was no sound. But this time it seemed eased, less tense.

Pandora kept her speech short. As soon as she bowed her head and smiled, the Mayor rose to his feet with a bouquet of flowers.

Another set of handshakes were exchanged before Pandora was rushed through the Justice Building and into the car. Her brown eyes drearily glanced over the broken down buildings and gutted out roads. Only one image burned through her mind, the image of sorrowful faces and starving bodies. Guilt filled her. She was depressed because of her own circumstances when there were children sick with malnourishment and misery. She felt selfish.

"That was beautiful—at first I didn't know where you were going with it but that was perfect!" she heard Catia rant.

Pandora's fingers spread over her knees in despair.

"And the shots the camera crew got of you with that little girl—"

"Madge."

"—what was that?!"

Her chin nuzzled the fur of her coat, "Her name was Madge."

"Oh—"

The train whistle noted their departure. It had only been an hour and one speech but to Pandora it felt like much more. Her eyes watchfully stared out the window.

Days and Districts past.

Most of them were the same as District 12: without delight or cheer. Each time Pandora got up to give her speech it became harder.

The days were starting to muddle together. Flower bouquets crowded her compartment, keeping her company when she would wake up screaming from one of her nightmares.

In only a brief span of time she managed to see landscapes she never knew existed. The orchard fields of District 11, the wide-open plains filled with cattle in District 10. Each District was different from the next. Pandora was especially surprised in District 8 when the Mayor gave her a few yards of fine textile instead of flowers, but Caradoc seemed elated enough for the both of them.

It was when they were pulling out of District 5, with the silhouette of power stations behind them, that something caught Pandora's attention, pulling her out of the droning state she had been in.

"We're more than halfway done," Catia had said, "Only a few more Districts and then the Capitol."

"Yes," Caradoc agreed, "And tomorrow we arrive in District 4."

Pandora was cutting a piece of lamb, but quickly stopped. District 4. She had completely forgotten.

"Well, I'm sure our Victor has never even seen the ocean before—"

Pandora dropped her eyes, "Did you say we get to District 4 tomorrow?"

"Yes," Catia replied, taken off guard, "Tomorrow morning, in fact."

Finnick, Pandora immediately thought, trying to hide the relief she felt at the thought of him. She wondered if he would remember her, if she would even see him. Over the past year she often thought of Finnick Odair, knowing that he was the only one besides Lux Halstead that could understand what she was going through. She longed to talk to him, to know that everything would be okay for her. Suddenly her mind was going a hundred miles an hour.

She slipped a forkful of food into her mouth and blinked her eyes to the window. Anticipation suddenly drenched every inch of her body.