"So… Distance?"

Jade's forefinger wandered over the rim of her coffee cup while she looked at the black liquid that always managed to at least bring her a tiny bit of comfort. Not now though. "Yup. It's what she wants." She frowned at her own words, stopped her finger and shook her head. "No, it's what I want. She's just going along with it to please me."

"How do you know that? I mean, maybe she's-"

"She said that it was punishment for her to be away from me." Jade glanced up from her cup and shot Cat a look. "I'd say that means that the whole distance thing isn't really her favorite scenario."

"Oh."

Jade slowly nodded, her eyes going out of focus when she thought back to the pained look on Tori's face. "I've hurt her. Again. I keep on doing that."

"But you don't mean to."

Jade scoffed, her head falling tiredly to the side as her finger picked its movement up again. "That doesn't make it any better for Tori. Or do you think just because she knows that I'm not doing it on purpose makes it easier on her? I don't think so." She wasn't even sure if she herself wanted to stay away from Tori. It would be the best thing for sure, if only to get a clear head and to avoid any more drama. Who knew what would happen next time? Maybe there would be another kiss, maybe this time she wouldn't be able to stop, maybe they would… go one step too far. Jade couldn't let that happen. It wasn't right for her and it wasn't right for Tori.

"Jade…" She looked up when Cat's hesitant voice called out. The redhead frowned, tightly grabbed her coffee cup in her hands and looked at a spot on the table near Jade's cup. "I don't think it was the right decision."

"Why do you think that?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "I know I shouldn't be one to talk because I tried to… you know, get you and Tori together but… believe me when I say this now, it's not my intention this time. I just can't handle you two being so sad."

"Get to the point, Cat."

"I think if… you stay away from each other… the situation will just get worse. You'll both be miserable and… your feelings won't go away, even if you don't see each other. Best thing to do is… deal with them, together."

"I don't have feelings for Tori."

There was a short silence in which Cat stared at her confusedly with her head tilted to the side before she spoke again. "But if you don't have feelings for Tori, then why did you kiss her?"

"I- I don't… I did it because…" Jade stopped and let a breath rush out, rolling her eyes. Before she could keep stuttering for a possible answer, Cat spoke up. "Are you… Are you in love with Tori?"

"No! No, I'm not!" She sighed and tightly pressed her palms against the hot surface of the ceramic cup, dragging her teeth over her bottom lip. "I'm just… attracted to her. That's all there is. She's a beautiful woman and… that's because I kissed her. That's all." But inside of her, she knew there was far more than attraction going on. Something was twisting and screaming Liar! Liar! Liar! over and over again. But she couldn't admit it to anyone, she barely managed to admit it to herself, for God's sake. Of course she knew the real reason why she kissed Tori. Why she almost didn't want to pull away anymore. She fell for her and that pretty hard. But Cat couldn't know that. Tori couldn't know that. Maybe her feelings would go away again. She just needed to wait a little while.

When Jade lifted her eyes to her best friend again, she knew that Cat didn't fully believe her. But she also knew that she wouldn't push it. She never did. "Okay… Then maybe it's better if you don't see each other, after all. Better for Tori."

"Right." That was what she had to keep telling herself. It was better for Tori. Sighing, Jade sat up straight. "Can I stay here tonight? I don't want to go home."

For the first time since Jade showed up, Cat's lips formed a small smile. "Yeah, sure. You can stay in Robbie's office."

Jade sent her a grateful smile but when Cat stood up and left the kitchen, Jade frowned and looked into her cup, the only thought in her mind that Tori once had stayed in Robbie's office too. Well. Forgetting Tori would be harder than she thought after all.

…

Saturday,

May 10th, 2014

Tori squeezed her eyes shut, fingers digging into her white, fluffy pillow, as she tried to fall back asleep. She groaned into her pillow when she realized that sleep wouldn't come and she would have to peel herself out of bed soon. Or wait… she didn't have to do anything today. If she wanted to, she could stay in bed all day, waiting for her heart to decay completely.

Man, she was so… pathetic.

Over a month went by without seeing or hearing from Jade. Well… aside from Robbie and Cat who she had asked on numerous occasions how Jade was, what she was up to. But they never told her much, both saying that maybe, she was a little too invested in Jade and that it was better if she'd just took care of herself before worrying about Jade. Tori didn't need anyone to tell her that, she knew how desperate and… pathetic she acted. She knew she should shift her focus on herself but she just… she just couldn't.

Love. How Tori hated it.

Another groan vibrated in her throat when her ears heard the buzz of her doorbell. She buried her face deeper into the pillow, pulled the blanket tighter around her body, but after a minute or two, the buzzing started all over again and this time, it didn't stop. Who would be so annoying? After another minute, the person standing downstairs started to push the button in a rhythm.

Buzz. Buzz, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz. Buzzzzzzz.

"God, what is wrong with people?!" Scowl in place, Tori angrily threw the blanket off of her and jumped to her feet, stomped into the living room and begrudgingly let the person into her building.

Whoever it was could get ready for something. But when Tori ripped the door open, the scowl fell and confusion replaced it as her eyes fell on her unexpected visitor.

"Oh my, you look horrible."

"Trina?"

Her sister cocked an eyebrow before pushing past her, suitcase rolling behind her. Tori closed the door, then turned to face her older sister. "What are you doing here?"

Trina left her suitcase standing in the middle of the room, head tilted up as she turned in a circle, eyes running over every part of the living room. "I am here to aid the zombie that is my sister." Tori frowned and absentmindedly glanced at Trina's ridiculous high shoes. "And don't take this the wrong way, but you look like you're in dire need for my help." Tori looked up to see Trina's face lose her hard mask, a rare look of compassion and pity taking over. "What happened to you, Tor?" she softly asked and probably didn't expect the reaction Tori showed. Her face crumpled up and teeth bit her lower lip, pink turning white, a barely audible whimper reaching Trina's ears.

"I feel so horrible," she managed to bring out and felt a loud sob tearing through her, a feeling like she was being ripped apart taking over, only getting stronger when Trina's arms enveloped her and it began to feel like she would shatter to pieces if her sister didn't hold her up. God, she had to get a grip on herself. If even her sister thought it was necessary to come all the way from L.A. to New Jersey to cheer her up, how bad was she really depicted by the outside world? "I'm sorry," she mumbled after she had successfully managed to calm down, pulled away from Trina, sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"Why are you apologizing? For what? It's fine." Trina kept staring at her, then said "God, what did she do to you?"

Tori bit her lip and let her head hang in shame. What did Jade do to her? That was the question Tori didn't have an answer to. She really didn't think it would feel quite like this to be in love with somebody. Even if that somebody didn't return her feelings, no one should feel like all their insides were ripped out of their body. Tori was a shell, that's all she was. And she hated it. Trina sighed. "Okay. Let's not talk about 'you know who' and do something to get you to perk up a little. What do you wanna do?"

Tori threw her head back and groaned, walked to her sofa and let herself fall down on it. "Nothing. I want to go back to bed."

"It's almost eleven o'clock," Trina sharply reminded and took a seat next to her, "You will not go back to bed."

Tori turned to glare at her older sister. "You can't stop me from doing that."

…

Okay, so Trina could stop her.

"See? You look better already!"

Tori glared at her grinning sister and rubbed her head. She didn't think brushing your hair could be that painful until she had Trina yanking a brush through it. "You nearly pulled out every hair on my head!"

Trina's eyes widened in excitement. "Yeah Tori, come on! That's the spirit! Finally you're not acting like a dead zombie anymore!"

"A zombie is always dead. There's no such thing as an alive zombie. They're undead."

"As if I care," Trina said with an eye roll and a dismissive hand wave, "All I know is that you don't look like one anymore."

"That's so offensive!"

"Yeah, whatever. Let's get going." But Tori huffed and stayed where she was, arms crossed and pout in place. When Trina opened the door and glanced back to see that her sister wasn't following her, she turned and raised an eyebrow. "Come on now! Get moving! I didn't come here to let you decay in your apartment! Show me your city! Let's go to New York and shop! Take me to a freaking supermarket for all I care! But we are going out now!"

"I can't believe you're forcing me to go out," Tori mumbled and grabbed her keys before following Trina out of the door, "What kind of sister does that?"

"The kind who cares."

Tori stayed quiet after that, slowly trudging after her sister, down the stairs and outside, where Trina suddenly stopped and turned around. "So? What are we going to do?" When Tori merely shrugged, Trina sighed. "Then I guess it's time for a little retail therapy."

Without uttering a single complaint, Tori let her sister grab her arm and pull her with her. Maybe she should loosen up a little and enjoy the time she had with her sister. After all, what's the worst thing that could happen?

…

Every muscle in Jade's body contracted, teeth chattering and skin shivering. What a way to wake up. Her head felt so cold as it leaned against the hard marble and she wondered if she could even still move her neck. Nails digging into her palms, Jade slowly lifted her head and straightened her neck out, a pained grimace taking a hold of her face. Well, at least she could still move it. But dang it, was she cold.

What did she expect. That's a given when you spent an entire night at a cemetery.

Jade stretched her legs out in front of her, her back popping as she straightened it out. Letting out a sigh, she took a look up, squinting into the bright blue sky. The sun was still hiding behind a thick cloud and did nothing to warm up her cold body. She should really go home. Into the warmth. But what would wait for her there? Jade closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Nothing. Nothing would wait for her there but silence and utter solitude.

Which was exactly her problem.

Why was she feeling like this? She was always alone. She liked being alone. Well, at least she liked it until Tori appeared in her life. It hadn't been easy, not seeing Tori for the entire past month. In fact, it was one of the worst things she could have ever endured. She missed seeing her stand in front of her door with a smile on her face. She missed watching movies with her. She missed her voice. She missed… everything. But what was she supposed to do? She couldn't just go and tell her that this distance thing really wasn't working out and that she wanted… that she wanted…

Jade bit her lip. That she actually wanted her.

That she was in love with her.

She knew she had to accept it. After a full month of utter misery, Jade knew it was time to get over herself and just accept the fact that she was in love with Tori Vega. Aiden was right. It wasn't a shame to fall in love again. Lia would want that for her, wouldn't she? She would want her to be happy. Now it was just a matter of how to approach Tori. Maybe she didn't even want to see her anymore. Maybe not seeing her had done her good. Maybe she's totally fine without her and Jade would just destroy her again by showing up. But maybe she was just as miserable as her. Maybe she just waited for Jade to come around.

Jade blinked dazedly as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and slowly pulled it out to see Robbie's face flash up on the screen. After clearing her throat, she picked up. "Hello?"

"Jade? Where are you?"

Her eyes took a look around and spotted a woman and a little girl walking along the path across from her. "I'm… I'm at the cemetery." Jade frowned at his urgent tone. "Why?"

"I think you should know… Something happened… to Tori."