I walk into the school with my backpack weighing heavy on my back. It is only a few hours before we had to do our performances for Mr. Schue and the other students in the class, and I am running around the school, during lunch time. The hallways and classrooms were all completely empty. I walk into the cafeteria and I see Blaine sitting with Kurt, Mercedes, Finn, Sam, and Rachel. I run over to them. "Blaine," I say, "I need you and the rest of the people in our group to meet me in the glee choir room in six minutes."
"Alright," he says, "but why?"
"Just let everyone know for me please," I walk off trying hard not to smile to myself. I run into the choir room throwing my backack on the ground. I rip out the clothes from it. The first item I pull out was a red shirt covered in silver glitter. It had an opening in the back revealing my shoulders and a low cut that reveals my breasts, in an imaginative way. I take off my dress as I pull out a push-up bra from my backpack and ripped the one I had on and replaced it with the one I stored in my backpack. I slip the shirt over my head then reach into my backpack taking out a pair of black leggings,ripped and shredded on the sides, that are covered in silver glitter. I slide them onto my legs. I rummage through my backpack taking out a long, large, brown coat before taking out a slim pair of silver heels. I hear talking from outside in the hallway. I throw the shoes onto my feet and place the brown coat on me. Blaine, Tina, and Lauren walk into the room.
"Hey everyone," I say to them.
"What's with the mess," Tina says. I look at the floor and notice I left some books out of my backpack as well as the clothes I was wearing earlier onto the floor.
"Sorry about that. I'll clean it up," I button up my coat and bent down to pick up my books and clothes. "Where's Santana?" I ask. Everyone looks around, giving each other dumb looks. I take a inhale, putting everything in my backpack. "She's not coming is she?" I ask.
"She said that she was busy but she will come as soon as she can," Blaine says.
"In Santana talk, that's code for not coming," I breath through my lips. "Well, no worries." I place my things in the corner taking out a video camera from my backpack. "I will just have to video tape it for her." Everyone looks at me, surprised.
"Wow, Quinn," says Lauren, "You really came prepared."
"You have no idea," I says, setting up the video camera, "I stayed up all night just to make sure everything was perfect to the very last detail."
"So what is this all about?" asks Tina.
"And what's with the brown gangster coat?" Lauren asks.
"You will see," I say. "Everyone take a seat," I walk in front of everyone after turning on the camera. "I thought about everyone's opinions about my idea yesterday and I came to the conclusion that you were all right. It wasn't a good idea."
"You called us all in here just to tell us this?" says Tina.
"Nope, I thought about it and figured out why it was a bad idea. It was a bad idea because it didn't convey the right message. The songs we have and that we are going to perform isn't about a girl who is in love with someone else and wishes to be with that person. No, it's about desire. It's about wanting. It's about lusting for someone so badly. That you can't help the feelings you have for the person and that you are afraid of those feelings because they are so strong and feel so wrong that you can't."
Santana stomps through the door. "This better be good Fabray," she says.
"Trust me, I won't disappoint you," I say. I take off my coat and walk over to the boom box, turning it on. The music blares through the speakers, I run over to my spot preparing for my que. My heart thumping, my skin sweating. Finally, I recongnize my chance to sing and I spring off into a dance step, my air filling with lungs.
I try to lower my voice as I start on the first line. "Sitting over here, staring in your face. WIth lust in my eyes, sure don't give a damn. And you don't know that I've been dreaming of you in my fantasy." I do a quick spin in place before shuffling my feet and continuing my steps. "Never once you looked at me. Don't even realize that I'm wanting you to fulfill my needs. Think what you want, let your mind free. Run free to a place that no one dares to." I carry my feet around in front of me, my breathing gets harder as I try to sweeten my voice and make it light and crisp.
"How many mights I've laid in bed excited over you. I've closed my eyes and thought of us. A hundred different ways. I've gotten there so many times, I wonder how 'bout you. Day and night, night and day; All I've got to say is if I. If I let this go. You can't tell nobody, I'm talking about nobody." I switch my dancing to something more flowy and hip-hopish. " Are you responsible? Oh, I gotta watch my back cause I'm not just anybody. Is it my go, is it your go? Sometimes I'm goody-goody, right now I'm naughty-naughty. Say yes or say no. Cause I really need somebody, tell me are you that somebody?" I continue to dance while trying to maintain my voice and sing without heaving.
"Oh, I've been watching you like a hawk in the sky up high, and you are my prey. Oh, I promise you that if we keep bumping heads, I know that one of these days. We going to hook up, while we talk on the phone. But see, I don't know if that's good. I've been holding back this secret from you. I probably shouldn't tell it. But if I, if I was your girl, oh, the things I'll do to you." I stare right into Santana's eyes. I keep myself from looking at her as I focus my attention into the dancing and singing. Using all of my energy to not think about Santana, despite images of her leaking into my mind.
"I'd make you call out my name. I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I do to you. But I'm not so I can't, so I won't. But, If I was your girl." I keep dancing, getting harder and harder.
"Allow me some time to play with your mind. And you'll get there again and again. Close your eyes and imagine my body undressed. Take your time,. we've got all night. If you tell one word. Go to sleep, you know it would be weak. Oh oh, see I'm trusting you with my heart, my soul. I probably shouldn't say it but if I, if I let this go. You can't tell nobody, I'm talking about nobody. Are you responsible? If I was your girl, all the things I'll do to you. I'll make you call out my name, I'd ask who it belongs to. If I was your woman, the things I'll do to you. But I'm not so I can't then I won't. But, if I was your girl."
"Oh, I gotta watch my back cause I'm not just anybody. Is it my go or is it your go? Sometimes I'm goody-gooody, right now I'm naughty-naughty. Say yes or say no. Cause I really need somebody. Tell are you that somebody?"
"If I was your woman, the things I'll do to you. But I'm so I can't then I won't but," I finish singing, stopping in place with my left foot in front. Trying hard to keep my pose for as long as I could. I finally lose my balance. I stare at the others to see their expressions. Most of them look surprise, but Santana. Her expression didn't change once.
"So, what do you think?" I ask. No one says anything for a while. Then I notice Lauren looking around at everyone.
"Do you really want to know what we think about it?" Lauren asks. I nod my head, feeling anxious and worried about what is about to come. "Well, I thought it looked a little slutty."
"I didn't particularly like it either," says Tina.
"Why not?" I ask TIna.
"It just didn't look right to me."
"I thought the dancing looked too untogether," says Blaine. "It was like a combination of hip-hop dancing and ballet dancing."
"That was technically what I was going for," I say.
"Well, maybe it would have been better if someone who actually knew how to dance was performing it," Lauren says.
"Yes, like Mike," Tina says, "Or Brittany."
"Yeah, I could totally see Brittany pulling it off," says Blaine.
"And the wardrobe doesn't really suit you either," says Lauren.
"Well, I have to disagree," Blaine says, "I really like your leggings."
I take in what everyone is saying to me. I exhale and turn my gaze over to Santana, who hasn't said a word. "What do you think of it, Santana," I ask her. She just looks at me, her eyes blinking.
"I thought the choregraphy was sloppy and uncoordinated, the outfit not only looked trampy but just downright gaudy. And also, I thought you were a little off-pitch during your transitions of the song." She pouts her lips as she finishes and turns her head. "It doesn't matter anyway, the performance is today. Therefore we don't have time to practice a completely knew routine unless we want to look like morons in front of the whole class. So if you are done wasting everyone's time, Quinn, then I think we better practice for the actually routine that we are going to do," Santana says, everyone nods their head in agreement.
"Fine," I say, trying not to sound to heartbroken, my voice cracking none-the-less, "I guess we should start practicing then." I run over and grab my camera.
"Well, since you forced all of us in here. I think it will be wise for us to practice," says Lauren.
"I agree," TIna and Blaine say.
We all move around and start to practice. I go to the bathroom to change and rush back to the choir room where everyone is busy getting down the routine. The bell rings and Blaine hands everyone their outfits and we all go to the bathroom to change. When I finish putting on my clothes I walk back to the choir room and see everyone waiting. I take my seat as Mr. Schue walks inside, all smiles.
"Alright, everyone," he says, "It's time for performances today. So who wants to go first?" I look around the room and raise my hand.
"We do Mr. Schue," I see Santana glaring at me, her eyes full of anger. Tina and Blaine look scared. Mr. Schue smiles.
"Alright, Quinn's group come on up here. Everyone give them all of your attention and be polite," Mr Schue goes and sits down. We all walk up there, me more excited than the others. Blaine starts the music, and we are get ready. The music starts and we wait until it's our que. I dance with no emotion, no feeling, no imagination. The others sings, it becomes my turn to sing. "Never once you looked at me. Don't even realize I need you to fulfill my needs. Think what you want, let your mind free. Run free to a place that no one dares to," I sing with no range or clarity. The song continues and I go through the motions, not adding anything new to it at all. Before I know it, the song was over and we were done. I could barely remember singing anything more thatn that first line that I sang. Everyone claps. I walk over to sit down, in a trance.
The other groups perform, my eyes staring at them but my mind somewhere else. Class is about to end soon and Mr. Schue walks up to the front of the class. "Well, everybody, it was a tough decision but I think it's easy to say who won." Mr. Schue smiles at everyone before he continues. "And the song we will be performing will be," He pauses, "Aaliyah and Missy Elliott! Group B won." The class cheers and congratulates the people in the B group.
"Wow, you were awesome guys," Tina says.
"I have to admit that even though your pitch was a bit off, you guys did great," says Rachel.
"Definately Brittany. Those moves you had were incredible," Finn says.
"Yes, I can't believe someone can move like that," says Blaine. The people in the class all compliment Brittany and her dancing and how great she was. I get up and walk over to Mr. Schue.
"Mr. Schue do you mind if I left? I'm not, I'm not feeling well," I ask him.
"Sure Quinn," Mr. Schue says without even looking me in the eyes. He walks over to praise Brittany's and Mike's dancing. I walk out moving at a slow pace. I stop at the door and look at the others. I see Santana give Brittany a kiss on the cheek before wrapping her arms around her. I start to walk away, fuming and disappointed.