AN: Sorry for the super long break! I haven't run off to the circus, though between all the college applications and studying for mid-terms, I might actually be better suited to the life of a lion tamer. Or a fortune teller. Maybe the gift of foresight would make me less of a procrastinator? (Probably not.)
Anyway, I felt the urgent need to post a chapter in honor of this fic's one year anniversary. Yay! Hopefully I'll be able to finish it before March 6 and I drop off the radar for good. Thank you for reading, following, favoriting, alerting, and of course all the encouraging reviews. I truly do appreciate the feedback. Enjoy the chapter!
The Point of No Return
Garrus made his way up to the bridge. It wasn't a long walk. The ship was small, but well kept. It looked to be a civilian-class small cargo or passenger vessel. Though if there were any passengers about, they were well hidden. Garrus thought that the Steel Cog was supposed to be delivering a shipment of prisoners to the Broker's prison on the other side of the relay. Then again, the warehouse on Illium was totally empty. Maybe no transfers were scheduled. That posed a problem for the progress of the mission. If the Steel Cog returned unscheduled, whoever was waiting for them at the prison would know that something was amiss. We'll just have to deal with that when the time comes. Which will most likely involve killing anyone who asks too many questions. It was risky and sloppy, but at that point, they didn't have any other choice.
Kaidan and Grunt were keeping the Steel Cog's pilot company. Grunt's shotgun was casually nuzzling the back of the pilot's elbow. "What've we got?" Garrus asked as he approached, his eyes scanning the various system screens about the cockpit.
Kaidan turned around and nodded towards the pilot. "He'll take us through the relay. Says he's already flown the route a dozen times this week."
The pilot was a skinny salarian, wearing the trademark black uniform of the Shadow Broker's forces. He tried to get a look at Garrus and Kaidan, but a sharp nudge from Grunt's shotgun convinced him otherwise. "Just fly the ship." Garrus ordered.
The salarian didn't protest, but he did ask, "What are you looking for? There's nothing worth taking where we're headed."
Garrus knew that the Broker's personal army was extremely loyal and well-trained. Understandably, the salarian was trying to dissuade them from continuing their course of action. Garrus figured that the Shadow Broker didn't take well to subordinates who let infiltrators into his high-security prison. "It's what we need to take back that's valuable."
The salarian twitched. He was remarkably calm for someone whose ship was being hijacked. Garrus wondered what was going through his mind. Did he fear for his life? Or was he just biding his time until he could activate some kind of alarm system? Garrus nodded to Kaidan, indicating that he should search the area for any such devices.
The extra-planetary thrusters kicked in, and Garrus watched as Nos Astra faded into a little sparkling speck in a mass of land. He felt uneasy, like he was leaving something crucial behind. The hostile metropolis was the last place any of them had seen Shepard. It was their stronghold in the fight against the Shadow Broker, and as they sped away in their stolen vessel, Garrus couldn't help but grow anxious. They were venturing out into the unknown. They would either find Shepard or they wouldn't. No in-between. No room for error. No going back.
"What can you tell me about the prison?" Garrus asked of the salarian while they breached atmo. There was a tugging sensation as Illium's gravity reluctantly let them go, like a mother unwilling to release her child from her embrace. Another lurch from the thrusters and they were free.
"It's not just a prison. Where we're headed is the Broker's main base of operations. It's packed with his troops. Any operatives that aren't on active missions are stationed on base."
The Broker's main base of operations. Garrus swallowed. Hopefully the agents would be occupied with their own duties and not interfere with their mission. Right. We can do this. "Where do you make your drop-offs?"
"Not in the internment sector, if that's what you were hoping. We can't risk any prisoners wandering off," the salarian answered.
"How do we know he's not lying?" Grunt asked, waving his shotgun at the pilot. Garrus knew that there was a very good chance the pilot was feeding them false information with the intent to derail their mission and send them to their demise.
"It's not like it makes a difference," the pilot spoke up, retaining his cool composure as he guided the transport shuttle away from Illium and towards the other end of the system. The three of them looked at him. "It's highly improbable that you'll make it out alive. Whether or not I set you on the right path is of no consequence. This... plot of yours will only end in one way: death." He paused. "So don't say I didn't warn you."
Kaidan looked out at the approaching darkness rising up to meet them as they sped away from Illium. Back on the Normandy, none of them really knew what they were walking into, only that it was going to be one hell of a ride. Once they were actually on the shuttle and closing in on the mass relay, they had a new perspective. A dimmer one, with more finality. They were headed straight into the belly of the beast, and they'd be facing almost the entirety of the Broker's private army. On Illium, they'd manage to scrape through with their lives, but plunging themselves into their enemies' home turf would be a completely separate matter. Kaidan glanced down at his assault rifle. Would Shepard want them to throw their lives away like this? She was a soldier. She understood the risks of battle, and that the sacrifice of one was for the good of many. Whatever she was going through, whatever the Shadow Broker was doing to her... Kaidan knew Shepard, and he knew that she was much too selfless to actually want to be rescued. Taking a deep breath, Kaidan turned to Garrus.
"Fair enough," Garrus said. "But still. Grunt, keep an eye on him." The krogan grinned. Garrus left the cockpit, heading down to update the rest of the team on what they were walking into.
"Garrus. Wait." Kaidan caught up to him on the bridge.
But Garrus barely slowed. "This is good, Alenko. I think the pilot's telling the truth."
"About the part where we're all going to die?"
Garrus didn't look fazed. Kaidan found his single-mindedness unnerving, and eerily reminiscent of Shepard. "Once we dock, all we have to do is find Shepard and get out. Simple."
"No, Garrus, it's not simple. At all." Garrus paused, regarding his human companion with a hint of suspicion. The two of them stopped in the hall. "This is the Shadow Broker's main base of operations. There could be hundreds of his agents in there."
"I didn't say it was going to be easy. Just simple."
"You don't get it!" Kaidan said, exasperated. "What we're trying to do is... insane. If, by some miracle, we're not all killed and somehow manage to get Shepard out alive, what do you think she'll say? That she's glad her team mates threw away their lives for her? That it was all worth it?"
"I thought we agreed to end this," Garrus said, his eyes narrowed. He didn't understand how they'd come this far and now, on the threshold of their final challenge, now was when Alenko objected.
"But at what cost?" Garrus felt his stomach turn. He couldn't stand to look at Kaidan. "She even told us not to come looking for her."
"They had her at gunpoint! They were forcing her to say those things. We have to get her back, Kaidan."
"She won't see it the same way. You and I both know it. She doesn't think that she's better than any one of us. She wouldn't let us all die for her."
"We're not leaving her there. No matter how many more stand in our way, we're going to see this mission through to the end. The rest of the team knows the risks. They're willing to give their lives for her." Garrus took a step back from Kaidan. "It looks like I can't say the same for you."
So now Kaidan was the bad guy for trying to spare all their lives. The coward. Garrus was looking at him like he was poison. But he was the voice of reason. Any real leader would know a lost cause when they saw one. "If Shepard were here -"
"She's not!" Garrus raised his voice. "She's not here. So don't you dare hide your fear behind what you think she wants. We have to get her back. How can you not see that there is no choice?"
"How can I not see?" Kaidan repeated, in shock. "You're the one who's blinded by your feelings for her!"
The two of them fell silent. They stood in the hall facing each other. The growing rift between them had finally driven them to opposite sides. Garrus, and to some extent, Kaidan, had hoped that they'd be able to band together long enough to pull through. But it seemed that Shepard, the reason why they were on the same team, had also brought them to an impasse.
"Alenko," Garrus said after a moment, his voice low and rough. "I'm not going to make you come with us. But the rest of us have made our decisions. We are going into the base to find her. Whatever it takes." His words were slow and deliberate. He was waiting for an answer to a question that he didn't think needed one.
Kaidan's expression remained unreadable. On principle, he was against the idea of letting the whole team, a team that Kaidan barely even knew, die for one soldier. One woman. But the reason that Garrus, the rest of the crew, and the Illusive Man were throwing everything they had at the Shadow Broker was because they believed that Shepard was more than that. She was a hero, a beacon of hope in the fight against not only the Reapers, but against all the injustice in the galaxy. She was someone for people to look up to. People like Laurel Tracit's daughters. People like him. Kaidan remembered the last thing he said to her before everything went to hell and the Broker's agents came after them: "I just want you to know that... I haven't given up on you, okay?" He realized that maybe, he needed Shepard, too. Despite the storm of indecision brewing within him, Kaidan saw that his decision had been made. He looked up. "I won't back away now. I'll follow your orders, Garrus. But I hope that when this is over... I just hope that it's worth it."
"That's all I ask of you, Kaidan." The human nodded, then with a wary glance at his turian comrade, he headed back into the cargo hold, where the rest of the team lay in wait.
Garrus lingered a moment longer. Was what Kaidan had said true? Were his feelings towards his commander affecting the mission? Of course they are, he realized. Shepard was the only person in his life that he would truly go to the ends of the galaxy for. Doesn't Kaidan understand that? Garrus didn't think his relationship with Shepard clouded his judgment. When it came down to it, the fact that Garrus loved Shepard only strengthened his resolve and his determination to bring her home. And maybe it had caused him to cut corners. But everything he had done was to ensure the mission's success. Does that make it moral? He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, bracing himself with an outstretched arm. All this time, the only thing that Garrus had thought mattered was the mission. How could he think anything else? He'd sworn to get her back at all costs. That was a promise he would die to keep.
His eyes opened. He didn't have time to second-guess himself or worry about morals, not when there was so much at stake. He'd either die in the Shadow Broker's lair or live another day to deal with the consequences of his decisions.
The cargo hold was quiet – most of the team had recovered from the recent loss of their youngest and most recent member, Daryn, though the grief in the air was almost palpable. They did a good job of pushing it aside, though. As soon as Garrus entered, they were all at attention.
"Any idea of what we're gonna find on the other side of that relay?" Jacob asked, shifting around in his borrowed Shadow Broker armor. The Cerberus operative didn't like going in as blind as they were, but there was no other choice.
Garrus nodded. "From what the pilot tells us, we're headed into the lair of the Shadow Broker himself. His main base of operations."
Main base of operations. Liara's breath caught. She'd never been able to locate the Broker in all her two years of hunting, and now she was finally going to his territory... she wondered if he was on the ship. Perhaps, given Shepard's past, the Broker would personally oversee her torture, and whatever else they were doing to her. Maybe the path to the commander would lead them straight to her nemesis...
Liara wasn't the only asari thinking about who else they might find in the Broker's lair. Samara leaned forward, regally setting her chin on her steepled fingers. The Ardat-Yakshi was somewhere in that base. Lurking. Devouring more victims. How long had Kamala Nasar been in the business of taking lives? Perhaps longer than Morinth. The justicar's clear blue eyes flickered. If they did happen to cross paths with the Ardat-Yakshi, Samara would be compelled to end her. Surely Garrus would understand.
"We going in guns blazing?" Jack asked hungrily, eyes glittering beneath the dim glow of the hold's lights.
"No. We're going to proceed with the plan as discussed," Garrus said sternly. Jack and Grunt looked disappointed. There'll be a time for that. "Hopefully we'll be able to make it to the internment sector with our disguises intact. From there we find Shepard and retrace our steps back to the shuttle." More likely that we'll end up improvising a route.
"And if we don't make it?" Kaidan spoke up. All eyes turned to him. "What then?"
"We kill anything that gets in our way." The tension between him and Garrus tightened. The others glanced about uncertainly. Garrus silently chastised himself. He didn't need to add the conflict between him and Kaidan to their list of concerns. He continued, "Once we get in, we'll see what Dr. Solus can do about shutting down their ship-wide security systems. Or at the very least, draw the attention away from us."
"How will we reach the internment sector?" Thane asked, trying to wrap his mind around the minutiae of the plan. He wasn't used to charging in with little more than a vague notion of where they were supposed to be headed.
Garrus had given the situation some thought and hadn't come up with much. He explained it to the team as calmly as he could. "There's going to be plenty of unknowns. We're going to encounter any number of obstacles in the Broker's lair. I know I'm asking a lot of you, but given the circumstances, there isn't much more any of us could have done. The plan is to infiltrate the base disguised as agents of the Broker. That gets us in the front door, possibly even all the way to the where Shepard's being held." He started pacing restlessly, the sheer ambivalence of the situation setting him on edge. "The only way we're going to get through this is by adaptability. Watching each others' backs. Keep pushing forward no matter what happens," then, with a slight pause, "or who we lose."
Miranda got to her feet, rising fluidly despite the hindrance of her newly-acquired obsidian Broker armor. "I believe we can all agree to that."
The whole team murmured in assent. Kaidan included. He took a deep, steadying breath. Whatever reservations he, or any of the others, had vanished. The time for doubt had passed. They had come upon the final stretch of the mission; whether or not it would be there last was to be determined within the lair of the Shadow Broker.