Baby Are You Kicking Daddy?

Remus walked out of the library with tears in his eyes. The last time he cried was when he was first bitten and he was going through his first change. I guess I am going through a change he thought. It took him 2 hours after he found the right book, but he was able to find out. He wanted to understand why Sirius would do this to him, I mean sure Sirius could be a good dad but not now, not when the only thing Sirius worried about was his hair and if we understood why he pulled his latest prank.

Remus found Lily on his search for Sirius.

"Remus are you okay you look sick… did you go to the hospital like you said you were going to?" James asked. He wanted so badly to kill the person that forced him into wearing this skirt.

"Yah I just came from there." Remus search around for Sirius.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Sirius… I have to ask him a question." Remus said looking back at Lily/James.

"You look like you want to kill him…. What did he do this time?" James asked.

"Is there a place where we can talk?" Remus asked

"Yeah let's go down by the lake." James said. They walked to the lake and Remus told James that he was pregnant.

"Is that even possible?" James asked

"Yeah I looked it up… now that I know… everything makes sense. Why I'm throwing up and still gaining weight and why I'm having weird dream." Remus said

"Oh yeah Sirius told me about the dreams" James said Remus looked at him weird and said

"Why are you talking to Sirius… don't you hate him..?" Remus asked

"Why what did he do?... oh yeah I'm really James for some reason Lily stole my body… bet she's having a lot of fun making me look like a foul." James whispered that last part under his breath.

"James I really think that she will come around…" Remus said sadly

"Let's not talk about her…" James said

"Okay… so how do you like your knew body?" Remus asked James gave him a weird look.

"OK look I'm sorry but it's hard not to talk about her, when your whole life is her… literally her now." Remus said

"I know it's just so hard… I fill so lost without her… and broken when I'm with her… I just don't know what to do." James said pushing back the tears

"Hey maybe you can do the same spell you did on me and Sirius to make us forget." Remus said trying to cheer him up.

"She runs to my core… if I did that… I would lose myself … WHY?!" James screamed out

"Why did I let her get so close?" James asked

"I think you lost your self in the dream on what could have been… "Remus said.

"But why does it hurt soo much?" James asked holding his heart

"I thought when someone breaks your heart then it's just a emotional thing ….not a physical thing… but Remus I can hear it… every time I look at her… every time I hear her name my heart breaks…she's everywhere …she's everything…"James said.

"I need her… I can't …. I need…"James got up and ran to the castle. On his way back to the dorms him found Sirius.

"Sirius I need to talk to you." James/Lily's body said pulling him in a empty room.

"What do you want evens" Sirius asked folding his arms.

"Remus' is pregnant." James said Sirius looked like he was hit by a bus

"How?... is that even possible?" Sirius asked looking like the life was drained out of him.

"He told me that he looked it up in a book… and he said that it explains a lot of things." James said

"I got to go find him." Sirius ran out before James could tell him where Remus was. Let alone who he really was.

Lily was studying in James' room, she tried going into her room but the stairs wouldn't let her. At least that tells her something about the spell/curse/potion. It smelled like they were hiding cheese somewhere, and it was driving her insane. She couldn't think, so she go up and stretched, wow I really need a shower she started to blush but she knew she was going to have to get this over with sooner are later and later was not an option. She started to go through James' things looking for clean cloths; when something caught her eye. She picked up a black note book and ran her finger down that spin. The book opened to a blink page. Is this what I think it is she thought wondering if it was his diary or something,she opened the first page.

Last night I had another dream about Lily. It was hard not to think about it when I saw her today. I wonder if she even notices me. Her hair reminds me of a fierce dragon, and when I'm with her then she'll protect me.

Today Sirius told me about his mom. It was really hard for him and he almost cried. I told him that if he wants then he can come live with me, after I said that then he did start crying. I saw Lily today she waved at me, but when I waved back then she looked at me weird. I looked behind me and saw Snape.

Last night I had a dream that Lily and I got married, and had a little girl. I was sooo happy that I didn't want to wake up. But Remus poured water on me. Remus has been acting a little weird lately, it seems like once a month then his aunt gets sick, and last month he just said he was going somewhere. I don't know where he goes but afterwards then he's always sick and hurt. Me and Sirius think his mom is hurting him, but every time we ask him he just gets made and says that his mom doesn't hurt him.

Today I wrote Lily a poem but I was too scared to give it to her but here it is.

Often times in memory there is a tendency to over romanticize the people we care about.

The rest sounds really cheesy and Sirius said that girls hate that.

Today I asked Lily out she said no but Sirius says that she is just playing hard to get and girls like it when you chase them. So I'm going to never give…..

"James" Sirius said walking into the room I jump about a foot in the air.

"Don't worry I don't have any guns… promise." He said holding his hands up.

"What?" Lily asked 'when did he hear about guns'

"Remember when Remus was explaining that humans are scared of guns. I told him that it's silly to be scared of a piece of melt and he told me. It's silly to be scared of a piece of wood." Sirius said rambling. It looked like he was going to tell me something.

"What is it?" Lily asked

"WHAT is there something on my face?" He asked moving his hands up and down his face.

"You look like you want to tell me something" Lily was surprised that she was asking him, but she figured that James would.

Sirius sat next to James and laid his head in James' lap. "I never could foul you." He said. Five minutes past and no one said anything. Lily was about to move when Sirius started talking.

"Remus said that he's pregnant."

"Is that even possible?" Lily asked

"That's what I asked but he said that he looked it up in some book and it's possible." Sirius said breathing deeply.

"How do you fill about it?" Lily asked

"I love him to death, and I want what he wants." Sirius said

"But what about the baby… Do you want to keep it?" Lily asked

Sirius shot up and looked offended "Of course I want it. It's that best thing we ever did."

"But what about Remus?" Lily asked. Sirius rested his shoulder on her, and with James' body then it wasn't as awards as she thought it would be.

"James didn't say anything but I know him he thinks if it has his DNA something will be wrong with it. Like it will be a monster."

"That's silly" Lily said

"I know I told that but he doesn't believe me. I think He'll want to get rid of the baby," Sirius said

"Are you okay"

"I don't know… I feel like he's trying to get rid of me. Like I'm not good enough to be a dad. And it's not fair that he doesn't want it." Sirius' eyes started to water.

"Sirius Remus is scared, his whole life he has been afraid that people will hate him, whether because he is gay or because he's a wolf. Before he met you guys he didn't know that he was loveable. And now he has a little thing inside of him that will love him no matter what. That will depend on him, and that could die because of him. He doesn't think he's worth it. He doesn't think that he could love." Lily said remembering all the times she and Remus were talking in the library.

"But he can… I know he can."

"I know that… but it's your job to show him that he can,.. That he is worth it…. Because this baby could save him." Lily said Sirius got up and walked to the door.

"Hey what did you mean when you said… before you guys met him?"

"Oh nothing" Lily said getting nervous.

"Okay I'm going to go find him." Sirius said leaving the room.

"That was close." Lily said putting the note book back and grabbing a towel. Lily got ready for the most awkward 10 minutes of her life.

…

Sirius found Remus lying by the lake.

"Remus can I talk to you?" Sirius asked. He notice Remus' baby bump and the love for that baby went throughout his entire body.

"What is it Sirius?" Remus asked making room for him. Sirius sat behind Remus and put him on his lap.

"Remus I love you, and when I found out that you were pregnant then my love for you grew. I thought wow I can't wait to see what habits it will pick up. I wonder if it will get that look that you get when you are studying or how it will laugh. I never knew I could have more of you. You are so prefect to me." Sirius said Remus turn around and said

"But I can't do this; I can never be good enough."

"Remus you are already good enough… heck your better than me. You're the one that thinks before they act, I can tell that you love our baby."

"But..."

"Remus you are not alone."

"I can't….. I don't want it…. I" Remus stared to say… then he started crying.

"What…. what is it?" Sirius started to panic

"It's kicking me" Remus whispered all of his doubts and fears dim and the love was over whelming.

Sirius put his hand on his stomach and said "Baby are you kicking daddy? Um … I don't feel it"

"It's still kicking." Remus cried. Sirius held him until it got dark. And with many protest he carried him into the dorm.

"Sirius put me down I don't want anyone to see us." Remus said, Sirius put him down and said

"Why not?" Sirius said stepping closer to him. Remus' back hit the wall.

"Why are you afraid Remus?" Remus was speechless.

"I love you" Sirius whispered lending on him. Sirius started to lend in and Remus said

"Oh did you know that Lily and James switch bodies?" Remus tried to get away

"Why did they?" Sirius asked Remus' throat. Remus shivered

"It wasn't on…" Sirius cut him off. Remus tried to explain what happen but every time he started talking Sirius would kiss him again.

"And then James/Lily's body said." Remus tries to get out

"Remus you're so beautiful. I hope our baby has your eyes" Sirius said kissing his eyes

"And nose" kissing his nose

"But I get your mouth." Sirius said kissing his mouth

"Are you saying that you want the baby to have your mouth?" Remus asked

"You're right your mouth is fuller then mine." Sirius said.

Sneak preview on next chapter called "Please Let Go of My Heart Lily"

Often times in memory there is a tendency to over romanticize the people we care about. I know this and in spite of the fact the true remains she was my spring. Yes…. Because father said I had become the first snow in the dark secret world of magic.

But she was the fresh vibrate spring full of life and light. It seems almost inevitable now the way we were drawn towards each other it was the beginning of a beautiful dream. And for the first time in my life I felt as though I've been allowed something as though I have been saved from something.I could not stop the tears they were the frozen snow melted by the first warm breathe of spring. I lost myself in the dream and I laughed as never before as though years of happiness have been compress into each and every moment we shared. Our love was a fragile flower opening to the warmth of spring

Lily couldn't read any more. She never knew how much James loved her. How much she hurt him. And now that he was trying to let go she wanted him. She knew it wasn't fair. She knew that if she said the words on the tip of her tough she could destroy him forever. But now it was her turn to fall. And even though the chance of him saying yes to her was small she had to take it. She had to awake his fillings he had for her because if she didn't it would destroy her forever…..

A/N: thanks for reading please review and tell me how to get/go from here Thanks

Ps. Sorry for the wait… life gets in the way sometimes.