A/N: Just saw the sneak peeks for Watershed, and I've lost the will to write :( I forced myself to write this chapter since I've more or less thought it through already, so I hope you guys aren't too disappointed and appreciate it anyway. Praying that Monday's episode will make things right again, but it's hard to try and remain optimistic. Credits to heypiasano for leading me to decide who should Kate go for advice.
Disclaimer: I wouldn't be feeling so down if I owned Castle.
Kate sat silently in her car for a moment, just processing the fact that Castle had actually asked her to leave. Quickly locking the door and checking her surroundings to ensure there weren't people lurking around, she whipped out her cell phone and called Lanie.
"Hey, Lanie," she greeted into the phone when her best friend picked up.
"Hey girl, what's up?" Lanie asked, whispering, "It's Kate" softly but Kate picked that up nonetheless.
"Do you have company over there with you?" Kate backtracked, mentally hitting herself for not having thought that Lanie could be with someone else at this very moment.
"Yeah, actually. You wanna make it quick?"
"No, it's fine. You go ahead, sorry for interrupting," Kate apologized.
Lanie confirmed anyway, "You sure?"
"Yeah, it's okay. You have fun." Kate disconnected the call and phoned her next best option. The recipient picked up after a few rings and Kate murmured into her phone, "Hey, it's me. Can I come over?"
Fifteen minutes later she'd arrived at her destination. Taking out her cell phone once more, Kate checked the time – it was ten thirty, not too late, and made her call.
"Hey Alexis, it's Kate. Can I talk to you for a minute?"
She heard Alexis excusing herself from her friends and walking off to somewhere quieter. "Hey Kate, what's up? Did something happen?"
"Your dad and I had a fight, and even though I tried to hold back so I wouldn't hurt him too much, we both said stupid damaging things. Anyway, your dad's alone at the loft now-"
Alexis interrupted at this point, "You're not there?"
Kate admitted softly, "Yeah, he kinda ran me out, but that's not the thing. He's alone now, and as angry as I am at this moment, I still love and care about your dad, so if you're not too busy could you check in on him to make sure he's going to be fine? I'd call Martha but she's doing a show and probably still busy."
"Dad ran you out?" Alexis asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, I said some pretty stupid things. But could you please drop in or call your dad? Make sure he has someone to talk to?" Kate asked once more.
"Sure, Kate. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of my dad, but are you okay? Like, do you have someone to talk to?"
"Yeah, don't worry about me. Thanks, Alexis. Oh and one more thing, could you try to be subtle about it? I don't want him to get defensive or angry," Kate told her, relieved that at the very least; Alexis would be there to stop Castle from doing anything stupid.
Exiting her car and walking up to the door briskly, Kate rapped on the door. It swung open quickly, the occupant inside obviously expected her presence, and Kate was engulfed in a greeting hug.
Finally, she felt a little of the reassuring safety comfort her. "Hey dad," Kate mumbled into his shoulder, finally putting down the burden of being strong and holding herself together. He had barely shut the front door when her tears started flowing.
Jim Beckett quietly led his daughter to a comfy sofa seat and firmly told her to sit there while he went and fixed a big cup of warm tea that he pressed into her hands and told her to drink. Kate was blubbering through her tears as she tried to tell Jim what happened.
He sighed. Johanna had once teased him about learning "cry-talk" which all females were apparently fluent in. Johanna had been the one to decipher and understand Kate's cry-talk after break ups in her earlier teenage years. Apparently all girls have gone through, spoke, learnt, and understood cry-talk as a rite of passage through their teenage years. Unfortunately for Jim, Johanna was no longer here to translate for him, or do the comforting on his behalf.
"Shh, Katie, it's okay, I'm here, Katie, I'm here," he murmured, smoothing down her hair gently as he tried to quiet her. He was rusty at this. Johanna had been the one who could talk to Kate during her early teenage years. When she entered her rebellious wild-child phase, they maintained a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
Kate eventually outgrew that phase, and things were pretty good as she went on the right track. After that, Johanna had passed away, and Jim never really became a father figure to Kate for years. Even when they had patched things up between father and daughter, he never played a very active role. He was more of a passive supporter, hovering in the wings of the stage that was Kate's life.
Eventually Kate's blubbering's softened to mumbles, and her crying slowed to muffles and hiccups. Handing her more Kleenex, Jim coaxed her to drink more tea as she quieted down.
When she had calmed down once more, Jim broached the topic cautiously. "It's okay now, Katie, you wanna try to tell me what happened?"
"Castle and I, we fought, and- and it was so stupid, and- and-" Kate started blubbering again as she got worked up.
"Shh, slow down there Katie," he calmed her in a low, soothing voice, guiding her, "Tell me what happened, Kate, from the beginning."
Kate took a moment to calm and compose herself before she told her dad everything, starting from Vaughn's kiss and how things went downhill from there, the job offer, her note, and eventually her fight with Castle.
"So this job offer, can you tell me more about it?" Jim asked. Kate told him what occurred briefly, trying to remain objective in her narration. But there was something else that she needed to get off her chest, something else that she needed to share with someone.
"Stack asked me where I saw myself five years from now, and then he started listing all the job aspects before asking me where my heart was. And for that brief second, I saw two small kids with Rick's blue eyes, an older, playful boy tugging his toddler sister along," Kate said softly.
"You told him that?"
"No, of course not. I told him that I didn't know him well enough to have that conversation."
There was a beat of silence after Kate replied his question, but Jim waits her out in silence. And sure enough, she's the one who breaks the silence on her own accord, when she was ready to continue talking.
"What he said about the job, it's tempting, and it's true that I want bigger things. But I also want a family, dad. Not right now, but maybe in a few years, I'd love to start my own family, like you and mom did.
"But I'm also terrified that I might have to leave them behind, what with the dangers of my job. So for now, it's easier to just focus on the job. Plus, I have no idea where Rick stands," she trailed off.
"So why didn't you ask him?" Jim prompted her.
"I don't know," Kate admits, "I think I'm afraid to know his answer as well. But I did try to bring it up! Whenever I tried to ask him about our future, or where we were headed, he would change the topic, or intentionally avoid it."
"Has it ever occurred to you that he might be afraid of commitment? That he might need more time? After all, he's had two marriages before this," Jim told her, trying to think of things from Castle's point of view.
"Of course it's occurred to me, but still, I'd like to know if we have a future together, and how committed we are to this relationship. But talking about his previous marriages, that brings up another thing. Rick's older than I am, and he's done so much more already.
"He's been married and has a grown up kid. He did the whole family thing already, who's to say that he wants to go through it again? And his career? He's a best-selling author; he's reached his goals already.
"Rick's at the top of his game, and he's probably looking forward to a leisurely pace from here on, a plateau. But I on the other hand, I've never even started my family yet, and my career's still in the early stage – there's still so much more that I want to do; there's still so much more that I want to achieve. It's still uphill for me."
"So you're at different points in life. So what? Kate, I've seen you and Rick together, and I've never seen you love anyone more than him. And none of your previous boyfriends have ever looked at you the way that man looks at you. He loves you, Kate. And love like that doesn't happen often.
"This relationship, it's the real deal. So even when things get hard, and messy, and certain days you'll just want to give up; or there will be days you become ashamed of your actions or how low you can resort to; you've got to weather it, because you know that what you have here is worth fighting for," Jim told her passionately.
Kate listens on in silence, taking in what her dad said. He continues, "A relationship involves two people, Katie. You've got two different minds, two sets of opinions, but at the end of the day, you don't think for yourself as an individual; you think about the choices you make, and the decisions you choose, based on the greater outcome for the both of you, as a couple."
"Sometimes you'll have to make sacrifices – it involves give and take, but at the end of the day, it will be worth it, because the outcome is the better one for you as a couple. And you'll know that, and that knowledge will give you greater pleasure than any personal happiness you will feel, when you really love that person. And I do believe that you really love Rick," he told her while he patted her hands reassuringly as a faint smile graced his face.
"When did you get so smart, dad?" Kate asked wryly, causing the older Beckett to chuckle.
Rick had been sitting on his half of the bed for the past half hour. It was his side of the bed, because the other side belonged to Kate, and it would always be her side of the bed, no matter what happens to their relationship in the future.
His thoughts were cut short by the ringing of his phone. Sparing a glance, he was surprised to see that it was Alexis calling him. Putting on a cheerful tone, he answered, "Hey pumpkin."
"Hi dad," she greeted in response. "Listen, I think I left my blue dress back at the loft, and I'll need to use it at the end of the week, so I just want to make sure that it's there and pressed."
"You want me to search it for you?" Castle asks, confused.
"Oh no, dad, that's fine. I'm heading there now, and since it's getting late, I was thinking I'd spend the night back home. Just wanted to give you a heads up, dad," she explained.
"Sure thing, pumpkin. Be careful on your way over, I'll see you soon."
Leaving Kate's note on her side of the bed, Castle headed to the kitchen. He liked making Alexis a glass of hot chocolate whenever she came over, so he checked to see if he had the ingredients needed. He laid out the cocoa powder and marshmallows along with two mugs on the kitchen counter. He'd make the drinks when she arrived. Then, he walked over to the living room and switched on the television, channel surfing idly until his daughter arrived.
A/N: There you go. I'm not fully satisfied with it, but that's the best I can do at the moment. The next update will be after the season finale. Please leave a review so that I'd know it was worth the time and effort I put in writing this chapter even though I'm stuck in this mood. I don't have anything planned out from this point on, so feel free to comment your thoughts on what should happen or where I should head :)