A/N: 1. I can't believe that I actually managed to get this done before tonight's finale. Two chapters a day, wootwoots! 2. Go listen to The Great Escape by Pink :) For some reason I find it somehow apt for Caskett the way things stand in the show now... 3. Thanks so much for all the support, reviews, favourites, and alerts. They mean the world to me! I've been busy juggling uni and trying to write and update before the finale airs which is why I haven't been replying each review like i normally do...
Castle arrived at the playground and was pleased to see that it was mostly empty. Not spotting Kate, he headed over to the swings and sat on a free seat. He couldn't help but think back to almost two years ago when Kate and he met in another playground.
It wasn't long before he spotted Kate heading toward him. She greeted him first. "Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet me."
Rick nodded in greeting and gave her a small smile. "Why don't you sit," he suggested, gesturing at the empty swing beside him. Kate walked to the other side before sitting down. She wanted to be able to see his face when they talked.
They sat quietly for a moment, the silence weighted heavy in the air. A small kid's excited shriek pierced the air as she ran streaking by. Kate broke the silence between them.
"Rick, I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry about the note, about how I acted even before yesterday and what I said; I'm sorry for not telling you about the job offer sooner. I'm just so sorry, Rick."
"We're not kids anymore, Kate. You can't just apologize; kiss and make things better," he said, a slight frown marring his face, staring straight ahead.
"I know, but it doesn't diminish how sorry I really am. Do you want to go first, or should I?" She asks.
He finally swiveled his head around to face her. "Why the sudden rush, Kate? We were perfectly fine and happy before this, why did you suddenly need labels and assurances. Why are you suddenly so obsessed with where we're headed?"
"Well in case you haven't noticed, I'm not getting any younger, and it was fine coasting along this whole time, but we've been together a whole year, and I want to know – I need to know that you and I want the same things," she explained.
"I've never loved someone the way I love you, and it frightens me, because it has the potential to be so much more. I guess my insecurities got ahead of me, and I lost my rational thinking, which was why I shut you out and questioned our relationship."
"Are you talking about the Vaughn thing?" he asks, looking down to the ground. She replied softly, "Yeah."
"Cheating's a deal breaker for me, Kate."
"But I didn't–" Kate stops herself mid sentence. Taking a breath she continues, "Rick, I've never been so sorry in my life, and that really is one of the stupidest, most regretful thing I've done. I should have pushed him away, but I hesitated and so Vaughn kissed me. But I honestly would never have cheated on you," she tells him earnestly, reaching out to hold his hands.
His hand remained passive under hers, but she was just thankful that he wasn't pulling away. Looking at her with sorrow in his eyes, he asked, "Have I ever told you the reason Meredith and I got divorced?"
When she shook her head in denial, Rick told her the story. "Basically, I caught her sleeping with her director in our bed. I could still understand and accept her need to go out to parties, but I had thought that our marriage was something sacred. And to catch her cheating in our own bedroom-" he broke off, emotions that had risen to the surface overwhelming him once more.
"That's when cheating became a deal breaker to me. It made me lose faith in the sanctity of marriage as an institution. You asked me where we're heading, Kate, and I want so much to move forward with you, but how can I come to trust you after this?"
Rick started pulling his hands away, but Kate held on tight. She had this amazing thing here with Castle and she'd be damned to give it up without a fight.
"I made a mistake, Rick, but you have to believe me when I say I will never doubt us ever again, and I would never ever cheat on you. I know that I'm basically asking you to take my word for it, but the only way that I can prove it to you is if you'd give me a second chance," she tells him passionately, holding on tight.
"Look," she continues, "I want to make things clear between us. Maybe we took advantage of what we thought we knew about each other, and we both made some assumptions. But I want you to know all that I want, no more confusion and subtext, because I want you to know that I think what we have could be the real deal if we choose to continue, so I want to clear the air before we as a couple," she emphasized, "decide our next step together. Regardless of what you think, I really care about you, and I still care about us."
Seeing her sincerity, Rick decided to give her a chance, to give them a second shot. "Alright, I'm all ears."
Where did she start? It was instinctual for her self-preservation to hold some cards back, and here she was, volunteering to show him her hand. She would be opening up to him – removing her metaphorical armor, and it would be all too easy for him to hurt her with that knowledge. But he had taken so many chances for her; it was her time to do this for him.
"Where do you stand with marriage? I told you before that I'm a one and done kind of girl, so I need to know that you are willing to be my one and done," she pleaded, her voice laced with genuine insecurity.
"Things are great the way they are, or at least, they were. Do we really have to change it? Why take a chance with marriage, when it could ruin things? I've been married twice, and both times didn't work out for me. What we had was great, Kate, so do we really want to mess it up with marriage?"
"I'm sorry that things didn't work out with your ex-wives, but who's to say that we won't make it? I mean, yes I know I'll have to work to gain your trust again, but if we don't try, how do we know for sure?"
"Kate Beckett, are you proposing to me right now?" he asks teasingly, face lighting up with a real smile for the very first time that day.
"What? No, no! I- I'm not proposing to you," she protests, face taking on a pink hue as she heated up. Kate quickly backtracks, "It's just something that we might bring to the table, you know, like in the future or something."
Castle arches an inquisitive eyebrow at her, the corners of his eyes still crinkling slightly. He couldn't resist it. She was just too adorable when she got all riled up and flustered.
"Some day? Sure, I guess, why not? So we're agreeable on this topic, should we move on? What's next, Katherine Beckett?"
A small boy ran pass them, and Kate felt a small tug at her heartstrings.
"Stack asked me where I saw myself five years from now," she started, planning to bring up the children issue in a more roundabout manner. To be frank, she was a little surprised with how direct she had been, asking about his opinion on marriage.
"Okay?" he prompted, intrigued with where this was heading. Was another layer to the Beckett onion coming off?
"I didn't have any solid goals for my future. His question caught me off guard, but," she lowers her tone and shut her eyes, making it a little easier to voice a dream that she didn't know existed until that moment, "I saw two kids with your blue eyes – an older boy playfully tugging along his toddler sister."
Opening her eyes once more to look at him, she said, "So, I guess the next topic is children. I know that you've had Alexis and raised her, but I guess what I'm asking is if you'd ever want to go through that again."
When he stared at her blankly, Kate rambled on, misinterpreting his silence. "I've never actually thought about kids before this, I understand if you don't want more, that's fine, I guess. I mean, I don't even know how to be a parent, and then there's my job, and- and-"
Castle smiled, breaking her monologue by calling her name multiple times. "Kate, Kate, Kate. Kate!" She finally stopped talking and stared back at him with wide eyes.
"I've never thought about it, but I guess I'm open to it, so long as I'm not too old? I don't want to be learning how to walk at the same time as my kid. Besides, I think it would be nice to raise children with someone else as my partner. But you do know one thing right," he mentioned casually, and she couldn't help but rejoice a little that things were slowly returning to normal for them, "any children that we have will be absolute monsters. I mean, your stubborn streak combined with my penchant to look for trouble?"
Kate laughed, her heart feeling much lighter with each conversation they shared. "Maybe they'd inherit my brains and your good looks," she suggested lightly.
"Nah, I'd rather they inherit my brains and your looks. That way they'd get out of any scraps or trouble – all they'd have to do is smile and it'd be impossible for anyone to stay mad," Rick looked at her longingly as he finished his sentence. Kate ducked her head as a blush took over.
"So I guess that we're agreeable on this topic as well?" she asks shyly, keeping her eyes firmly on the ground. Castle remained silent until she finally lifted her gaze to look at him. Only then did he smile and nod in assent.
Rick would have loved to continue talking about things they both agreed on, but they had other issues to work out as well. Which was why he had to bring up the next thing.
"One thing though, how're we going to have kids if you're stuck in D.C. while I'm here in New York?"
The smile on her face dimmed.
"I hated your ultimatum, Castle," she admitted, "Asking me to choose between a job or our relationship? I would never give you an ultimatum; I could never ask you to choose between the two loves of your life," she says sadly.
"So tell me about this job," he prods, giving her a chance to finally explain this job offer.
"I have to be honest, it sounds really great. I get to move up without having to sacrifice what I love. Even if I get promoted to lieutenant or captain, I'd have to cut back on actually working cases. I don't want to get stuck behind a desk – I want to be out there in the field; I want to be actively in charge of cases.
"This job gives me that," she says wistfully, "It sounds amazing on paper. But, it's nothing without you." She tugs at his hand, a wry smile on her face. "I love my job, Rick, but I love you more."
As much as he tried to hold his tears at bay, some traitorous drops escapes anyway, which he quickly swiped away with a flick of his finger. He had to clear his throat a few times before ascertaining that he had regained function of his vocal cords.
"Will it be enough, though? I hardly see you talking about something so passionately, Kate. I guess it won't be that bad if you decided to take this job. I'm sure we'd be able to work something out," he relented.
Emotionally, Kate told him, "I can feel content as long as I have you, Rick. You're all that I want, you're all that I need."
It was her turn to turn the tables on him and ask him her own question. "I'll probably remain a detective if I want to continue working cases with the NYPD. You're a best selling novelist, Rick. Will you really be fine with being shackled with a lowly detective? Will that be enough for you?"
"Kate, I know I might not have said this recently, but you are and always will be extraordinary in my eyes. You should never have to feel ashamed of your job – I'm so proud of what you do, Kate. How passionate you are and the distances you'd go to bring closure to other families were the things that inspired me."
"Come over here," he told her, tugging so she would stand and walk over to him, finally settling in to sit on his lap.
"You should take the job if you really want it," he murmured softly into her ear.
"Should I really?" she asks, nuzzling her head into him. "It seems like such a hassle and there are so many more complications. Would it really be worth it? Should we just flip a coin?"
"Alright, that seems a way as good as any to decide," he replied, digging into his pocket to remove a coin.
"Seriously?" she asked, her voice became higher as she thought how incredulous this all seemed.
"Sure, why not. Heads stay in New York, tails we go to D.C," he announced, balancing the coin on his pointer as his thumb prepares to flick it into the air.
Kate bit her lip as she grinned, nodding to give him permission to flick the coin. As the shiny coin flipped over and over in the air, both of them watched its track with slow fascination. It glinted at the peak, reflecting the sun's rays.
"No matter what happens, I will always love you," Rick told her softly but ardently.
Kate turned her head to face him, smiling as she replied, "Always," before she kissed him on the lips as the coin landed on the ground below, unbeknownst to either of them.
A/N: I know I've mentioned in the previous chapter that this would be the last chapter for this story, but, I guess I thought wrong. (Get it?! ;p) I've got an epilogue planned that will take place some time in the future. Are you guys interested? :) Either way, please Review!