IX
I looked around the small, gloomy-looking hut. It looked like the stereotypical African tribal hut. I decided to ignore the way it looked and focus on the matter at hand. "I will make the assumption that you're Zechora?" I said raising eyebrow. She simply nodded and sipped from the small cup (that looked like it was half of a coconut) she was holding. I decided to get to the point as soon as possible, so I just asked "you know about the war that is going on, right?"
"Many soldiers from each side flock. I live in a hut, not under a rock" she chuckled.
"Indeed. Well, I need to find a way to end this war soon, or it's gonna end up destroying Equestria."
"If they are blowing down all walls then, perhaps it is time to begin waking the fallen." Her words echoed in my head as I silently tried to make sense of them. What could she mean by waking the fallen? Raise the dead? How would I do that? Or… she could mean… bring back… It hit me.
"Thank you Zechora!" I spouted. Before she could open her mouth to respond I was already out the door. The Cutie Mark Crusaders trotted up beside me to find out what went on in there. "I found out how to finish this all!" I said with a smirk. I ran back to the house to tell Connor and Discord about my solution. I nearly broke down the door while trying to scramble in. "Connor! Discord! Get your dumb asses out here! We've got a HUGE change of plans!"
"What?! What is it?!" Connor yelled, nearly tripping on his slide around the corner of the hallway.
"We've got the way to end the war!" I shouted. "It's simple, but it'll still require a shit-load of work!"
"Then what are you waiting for! Tell me so we can get started!"
"We've gotta make WWII weapons!"….
There was a massive silence in the room until Connor finally spoke up. "What are you smoking, John, and can I have some, 'cuz it seems like it's pretty effective if you're tripping balls THAT much."
"I'm serious!" I told him. "We have to "wake the fallen." We've gotta use what hasn't been used in a long time! The weapons from WWII. Anything farther back and we might as well be throwing rocks at 'em."
"Waking the fallen?" he questioned. "Couldn't that just mean to raise the dead?"
"Well yeah, but how in the Sam hell would we do that?"
"Good point" he agreed. "Alright, but you better be right about this!"
"Trust me Connor, It'll work."
"Time to get back to the old O'Drake family trade" he said walking over to his desk. "You gotta guide me through some of these, though, 'cuz I haven't got the slightest idea how to make these."
"Okay. You three!" I said pointing over at the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "I need you three to go get Twilight as soon as you possibly can."
"On it!" they all yelled before dashing out the door at an amazing speed. Good that they were on that, because now I could get to work. After 2 hours or so, Connor and Discord both knew what to do and were making their first guns. I made sure to check Discords work for his first ones, because he had never made guns before.
After the first 4 hours, Connor and Discord were close to done with their first ones, where as I was done with a Thompson and I was in the middle of working on a Trench Gun (or a shotgun for those of you that have no knowledge of WWII). It was then when Twilight knocked on the door and I rushed from my work to open it. "Twilight!" I greeted her. "No time for small talk. You need to send a message to the Princess ASAP. We're re-arming the entire Equestrian military! It may take a while, but I swear to god, I won't sleep until we're done!"
"Okay, but before you get working on that, we figured out that those burning buildings weren't an accident" Twilight explained. "We found this in the ashes." She gave me a partially burnt piece of paper.
It said this:
If you've found this letter, that means my partner in the second attack on Ponyville hasn't done a good enough job burning down those buildings. I know that I wasn't supposed to order anyone to burn down any buildings on that mission, but I think you bastards deserve to die. One sentient species on this planet has already fucked up everything beyond all possible repair. Regardless of how FUBAR our planet has gotten, my point is that we don't need another sentient race contributing to the shitstorm that we've created for ourselves. Plus, we also already have horses AS WELL as ponies on this planet. The good part about those ones, though, is that they do what we tell them to. Feel free to try and find me, but even with my signature, you never will. Shit will keep going your way as long as I'm here, too!
Signed
Ltc. McMarland
P.S.: I managed to spark the war! I'll give you a hint: Legs without feet on a creature with four and faking the ignorance of extreme destruction.
"What… in the Sam… hell…"
"What do you think that riddle means?" Twilight thought out loud, interrupting my shock.
"Well, for legs without feet, I think he's talking about hooves, and on a creature that had four meaning he used a pony to do it, must be how they traced it back to Equestria. Faking the ignorance of extreme destruction…" I trailed off into deep thought for about 10 minutes until I put it together… "I GOT IT!" I yelled. "Ignorance of extreme destruction! The first letters of all those words (excluding "of") spells IED! Faking it meaning he used a fake IED!"
"But how would they know about it if it was fake?" Twilight stepped in once again.
"He set one off, then had a fake one set up. That's why the U.S. sees us as enemies. That's why they think we set off explosives inside their territory!" I had just made one of the greatest solutions of my life, but there was still something we hadn't figured out. "How do we find this Ltc. McMarland?"
"Well at least we know his name and rank" Connor butted in. "He could be leading a team that might attack Canterlot or something."
"What if he isn't" Twilight asked.
"If wishes were fishes the world would be an ocean, but that's just not the goddamn case now, is it?" I retaliated sarcastically.
"Come on, brother" Connor said, patting me on the shoulder. "We got a lot of work to do." I turned around and got back to my work. I knew that if we were gonna kill this "Ltc. McMarland" guy, we were gonna need a lot of guns. It was a good thing that making WWII weapons was a specialty of mine (sort of). So that's what we did for over 2 weeks straight… with only about 6 hours of sleep every other night… we just kept on working. We kept on waking the fallen.