A lot of heart to hearts.
(Before I start this chapter if you don't remember Clyde re-read 'the bar' chapter, he is the gay barmen!)
"Trust is a hard word for me…" I stepped back while shaking my head in uncertainty.
"I understand that, it's hard to trust someone, especially when the ones you loved and trusted the most where the ones that betrayed you." He took the one step that it took for our body's to be pressed together. It was just him I saw, "But I'm not the one that betrayed you in the first place." He finished referring to my Mother.
"I never trusted my Mother nor loved her" I spoke with confidence.
"Every child loves their mum, no matter how horrible they are or what they have done." He was right.
"I do not trust easily, so when I say 'I trust you' please don't make me regret it." I nodded my head thinking that I gave the right answer. I have always trusted Seth ever since the first day we met, the first glance of his brown eyes and the innocent laugh was enough to make me feel safe but I just worried about myself. "It isn't you that I don't trust Seth, it's me." I explained.
"Why?" He asked, everything came down to this one word.
"Because what happens if I sleep with someone else, what happens if I can't love you the way that you love me, what if I'm not happy." I listed going on and on until Seth shut me up.
"Then you tell me all of these things, we can take it slow." The boy with the big brown eyes begged me as he got closer and closer.
"Slow…" I agreed "But I'm still not ready to be your girlfriend." I stated while shaking my head, a smile on my oval face.
"I wouldn't dream of that yet, I want to woo you in every way possible first." He cradled my head in his hands as he brushed his fingers against my soft skin under my lips. I giggled at his touch.
It was that moment that the joyful sun shone through the elegant wall of glass, radiating heat across my body. Sparkles were sent across the living room as the Cullen's gazed at me and Seth in happiness as if remembering the start of their relationships. My skin wasn't like a disco ball compared to the others but did send a slight shimmer when looked at carefully. It wasn't enough for humans to see which was lucky. Seth traced my arms gently with his soft finger tips admiring the clear crystals imbedded into my skin.
"It's breath taking…" He mumbled his thoughts and it really was.
Unfortunately the sun disappeared behind the bulky clouds as quick as it had appeared.
"Ella!" I heard Renesmee scream in the background from somewhere upstairs but I was too mesmerised with the brown orbs that were planted on Seth's face to look away and pay attention to the screaming girl. "Ella!" Was screamed again but I still didn't pay attention.
One moment my big brown eyes were there but the next gone. Seth had been pushed out of the way by fiery bronze hair; her right hand on her hip and her left hand extended to my face holding my ringing mobile.
"This thing has been ringing for twenty minutes none stop so please shut it up!" Renesmee screamed in frustration as she was about to rip her bed hair out with clenched fists.
"It's twelve o'clock Renesmee, you should already be up, dressed and eating lunch." Bella tutted at her daughter disapprovingly, "If you stayed up late with us to play truth or dare then you had to be up and ready for the day before 10, with no arguments."
"But Mum…" Nessie dragged out the words as she begged to get her own way but Bella had none of it.
"Now, give Ella her phone and go get dressed." The capable women to the side of me ignored Renesmee's please as she ordered her what to do clearly.
"Fine, thanks for waking me up," Nessie spat while handing me the black modern piece of technology it only took one look from Nessie to her Mother for Nessie to smile at me and apologise for her ratty behaviour.
I gave it a couple of minutes before I headed upstairs to Renesmee's room.
"Sorry about the phone." I apologised to Renesmee as she sat on her white wooden bed that was the centre of attention in her colourful room. She sat crossed legged with her back resting against the head board and looked up when she heard me speak.
"Don't worry, it was all me." She smiled at me while shutting a dark black book that she was writing in before I entered.
"Do you mind if I sit?" I asked while pointing to her bed. She nodded to me and I sat down with her. "What's the matter?" I wondered to Nessie.
"Nothing," She replied while looking out of her window that filled three quarters of her bedroom wall. It was an amazing view of the green forest.
"Don't give me that, I can read your emotions remember." I pointed out and she quickly turned to face me. "Your Dad's not hear to read you mind, you know, I saw him leave with the rest of the men." I reassured her as I took a guess to why she was so closed up.
"But the others can hear," Nessie wisped while shaking her head.
I gently pulled her hand and rested it in my palm. "Then show me." I wisped back, I wanted to help her.
One minute I was giving her a reassuring smile to give her confidence and the next, images of what happened flooded my head in a breath.
Renesmee laughed at a pointless joke that Jacob pulled as they both sat on Renesmee's bedroom floor. They both held hands while facing each other.
"Have you ever thought about what our lives are going to be like in the future?" Nessie spoke to Jacob freely.
His smile grew and kissed her hand gently. "Always…" He answered her.
"And what do you see?" Nessie giggled, pushing him to go on.
"Me and you," Jacob said simply.
"Anything else?" Nessie titled her head to the side in wonder.
"Forever, that's what I see; both staying the same age for the rest of eternity with no worries in the world, a house by ourselves, a wedding ring on both our left hands, you smiling, that is what our future is going to hold." Jacob opened his heart to her.
"Some children," Renesmee nodded.
"If we can, I will give anything to make your life complete and happy." Jacob spoke clearly a look of determination on his face "I promise."
Renesmee leaned forward and kissed Jacob, sweet and tenderly. They moved to the bed without thinking of anything else in the world. Renesmee lifted Jacobs top up in haste and pulled his arms through the holes in a rush. They both began to pant as things became heated.
One minute Jacob was kissing Renesmee but the next he wasn't there but out in the hall. Edward had stormed in and thrown him across the room.
A look of disappointment filled Edward's eyes. "She is seven years old Jacob!" He boomed in rage.
"Da…"
"Renesmee, go to bed." Edward rudely cut her off.
Nessie climbed back in bed turned off her bed side lamp and Edward slammed her bedroom door shut, it took her a while for her tears to absorb into her pillow and to fall asleep.
I blinked my wide eyes a couple of times to bring me back to reality. Renesmee had tears running down her rosy cheeks.
"It's okay," I spoke to her while resting her head against my shoulder as I gave her a hug.
"No it's not." She chanted as a sob broke free from her mouth.
I held her for what seemed like minutes but in fact it was hours, I was constantly soothing her by whispering words and stroking her bronze hair.
"They always treat me like a baby but I'm not, I'm 15, I have never done drugs, never drank, but they still have me on a tight lease and it is strangling me. It my life, my decisions, you know?
Everyone is always treating me like a baby that is always doing bad. I wasn't going to have sex with him for goodness sake that was as far as we had ever gone and for my Dad to throw Jacob off like that, it angers me so much." She spited out while pacing around her large bedroom. "Jasper and the rest of them don't do that to you and you are a lot worse than I am no offence."
"They want to protect you," I spoke to her,
"Don't give me that, it's what they always say!"
"I'm not going to say that I know what you are going through because I don't but if I had a family like yours to protect me from everything I would prefer it. I regret not being innocent like you are right know, I think about it every single day and it never gets better." I watched her stand still as she listened to me.
"But I don't want to wait till I'm married." She blurted out.
"What?" I chuckled at her random outburst. "What are you talking about?"
"My Father wants me to wait till marriage like him and my mum did, but I don't want to get married for years I don't want to make that commitment yet but I want sex with Jacob." She sighed.
This was an awkward situation to be in. "I don't know what to say." I shook my head in apology.
"It is fine; I just want them to back off."
"You have protection right?" I wisped to her; I didn't want her to go through what I did. Never.
She shook her head in shame "I can't ask my mum she would just go and tell Dad,"
"Stay there." I told her and ran to my room as fast as I could. I brought a pink wooden box back with me; it had a silver lock on it.
I laid the box on her bed and opened it with the key that I also received.
She gasped at what was inside. It was a whole box filled with condoms for both male and female and a small tray of the morning after pill.
"This is yours," She gasped at me open wide. "I know you said that you sleep around a lot but this is huge."
"I never knew when I was going to need one so instead of repeatedly going out to the shops and facing one of the most embarrassing buys you will ever have to go through I created a little collection. The woman on the till had a heart attack when I brought all of this." I laughed at the memory. "Keep the box," I handed her the key after locking it up. "I'm planning on not using it for a very long time." I smiled at her.
I stood up and walked out but not before I heard a weak "thanks,"
My phone took that moment to ring and I rushed back downstairs I retrieve it from the coffee table that I left it on. Alice was jumping up and down once again while smiling, she rushed upstairs and I heard her tell everyone, including the boys to get ready for a shopping trip once again. I sighed; I can't go through that again!
"Hello?" I asked not looking at the ID in case I missed the called.
"Hi, stranger!" The voice I recognized as Sophie squeaked into my ear. I had met her at a club the first day I moved here and we had been going out at least three times a week together ever since.
"Hey!" I squeaked back at her the same way she did to me.
"So, I am no longer ill and need a buddy to lead me to a club." She pleaded me although she already knew the answer.
"Fine with me, pick you up at nine in a taxi, ring Clyde we need him as well!" I then remembered Alice's excitement. "I'll be bring a couple of people with me if that's okay?" I questioned.
"Awesome, see you at nine" I hung up after saying our good-byes and in front of me stood everyone all dressed and ready to go.
Alice pulled me upstairs in a flash and began to take my clothes off.
"Alice!" I screamed at her. "What are you doing?" She ran in my wardrobe as soon as I was just standing there in my underwear.
"I am dressing you, not that your style isn't good, because it's a lot better than Bella's but I know exactly what you should wear today! It will be perfect!" She shouted from my wardrobe in a breath.
"Fine," I sighed knowing I would never win.
"Put these on quickly and we will all be waiting downstairs in the cars." She left while shouting this to me.