22. Crash and burn

A MONTH LATER

It was 5 o'clock in the morning. The alarm went off in a very nice purple guest room in a New York apartment. Caroline took her mobile phone and turned off the alarm. She put the phone back on the night stand and kept her eyes closed. She could … Stay in bed, sleep till noon like all normal people that had no real job, or life for that matter. She could … Be totally depressed and mope around like a love sick puppy, complaining how life sucks, and men suck, and everything sucks. Or she could … Get her skinny lazy ass out of bed and do her thing. The thing that was keeping her sane in the last month. The thing that was after a very long time making her happy again. So she did crawl out of bed at the crack of down, she put her fluffy robe on her body, flashing neighbours is not appropriate, I mean this is New York, not L.A. anymore, and she slowly and quietly slipped out of the apartment. And onto the building's roof. It was one of those cool roofs you could see in movies, a roof with a magnificent view of the city, and plenty of space for a brush and a canvas. Her canvas … Her painting number God knows which one anymore, that she was working on since she came to New York with Kat. Kat was pretty much busy with college stuff so Caroline had to keep herself busy, so she wouldn't think. And that is exactly what painting provided her. When she painted her brain went black, there was nothing inside of her, just what was before her and what she wanted to transfer into her picture. Right now she was working on sunrises … Beginnings of a new day, the birth of something new. A new day- a new hope and a new beginning. Hours passed and Caroline barely moved, she was so wrapped up in what she was doing that she didn't even hear the doors of the roof entrance open and close.

"You know I'm no psychology major, but if I had to guess I'd say that sunrise of yours is pretty dark, and it shows your inner turmoil and the struggle inside of you."

Caroline laughed at Katherine's words, although it wasn't as she was far off.

"I'd stick to ecology if I were you Pierce. And btw… The painting is not finished yet … I'm just not sure where to go with this one … Something is always missing, but I can't figure out what. It's driving me insane."

"Here, maybe this will help my little tortured artist." Katherine handed her a hot cup of coffee.

"You are my night in shining armour Katherine Pierce. You truly are a blessing in disguise."

"Ok, stop it right there … Look, I think you're really hot and all, and you are a tremendous kisser, but I'm still into guys Care bear. Sorry to break your heart, but that's a cold fact I can't shake."

"Oh damn, and here I was, ready to give our relationship a chance, move to a new level. And you just shoot me down; just pull the trigger in cold blood. I guess I really don't have luck in love …"

Suddenly both Caroline and Katherine went quit. Their little private lesbian joke took a bad turn, since they rarely addressed the pink elephant in the room. Caroline cooked, and shopped, and mostly painted, but she never talked about her feelings, or Klaus … He was like lord Voldemort, his name was not to be mentioned. Katherine tried to tell her a few times that Klaus contacted her, and really wanted to talk to her, but she dismissed it at once.

"Tell him not to bother. He told me everything I needed to hear. No need for reruns … Skip and Scoot are finally done, for good."

But Katherine had the feeling it wasn't done, not by a long shot. Because Caroline didn't want to talk about Klaus, but she also didn't want to talk about filing for a divorce or an annulment. She was just standing in place, painting, and ignoring. And Katherine knew this strange situation couldn't last forever, she knew Caroline was very hurt, but certain things needed to be done. So Katherine tried once more …

"You know … I know you don't want to talk about this, but … He called again last night."

"He'll stop. He'll tire down. He feels guilty that things ended between us the way they did, but the guilt will vanish with time, and then he'll stop calling or trying, or pretending that I mean to him more than I actually do."

" I know this will sound strange coming from me, but are you sure? I mean, I spoke with the guy, he sounds …"

"Katherine!" Caroline yelled determinably.

" I don't care how he sounds. He's an actor, remember? And a very good one, as we got the chance to witness … He made his point very clear on the night of our wedding party, there is no turning back from that."

" Ok, I'm sorry. Maybe you're right. Maybe your romantic side rubbed too much on me. I just want to see you happy. So much."

"I'm happy. I have my paintings …"

"Speaking of … I know you don't want to hear about Klaus, but just one more thing and then I'm stopping, promise …"

Caroline gave her the look, but said nothing. Katherine took it as her cue to continue talking before Caroline cut her into pieces again. She was doing that every day for talking to Klaus, silently, with her look, and her eyes, but she was definitely showing her disapproval. And Katherine understood, I mean she was HER best friend, her loyalty was with Caroline, always and forever, but … Katherine could barely believe she was doing it as well. The first time he called her, since Caroline was not returning his phone calls, Katherine called him a no good son of a bitch and many other lyrical names, and she hung up on him. But he kept on calling, and begging, and explaining, and opening up his soul to her, and she heard the honesty and the vulnerability in his voice. Care was wrong this time; he wasn't that good of an actor. He loved Caroline, he just realized it too late, and Caroline loved him, but she needed time. So Katherine advised Klaus to give her some.

"Don't come to New York, not yet … She is sooo mad at you that seeing you would make her even madder, give her some time. And then … Growl, growl like you have never growled before." that is what Kat told Klaus almost a month ago. But time was passing, and Caroline wasn't opening up, the emotional blow Klaus unleashed upon her totally broke her, so much she shut her emotions of. She didn't cry, not once, she didn't scream or throw and break things; she was as cold as a cucumber, at least on the outside. Heaven knows what was going on inside, since Caroline wasn't sharing, only with her paintings … So Katherine thought this would be a good time to address the pink elephant.

"Klaus called me yesterday to tell me the shooting of the Tree House officially starts in three weeks time. And they still need to cast the leading female role … The audition is in 5 days. He thought you should know."

" Why?" Caroline asked calmly.

" Well you wanted the role …" Katherine said confused.

"Good point Kat. Wanted. As in past tense. Don't want it anymore."

"Come on Care, don't do this. This could be the role of a lifetime for you, you said it yourself. Something that would make your audience see the different, more mature side of you. Give yourself the chance to try, don't chicken out just because he'll be there. If you don't feel anything for him anymore, then it doesn't even matter anymore, does it?"

Katherine was provoking her; she was poking the big grizzly bear of emotions, but she was getting a bit tired of the emotionless Caroline. She wanted her silly, romantic as hell, sappy and dreamy eyes best friend back, and now. She missed her Care bear.

"I know what you're doing Katherine. And once again, you are not a psychology major, reverse psychology won't work on me hun. But to answer your question... No, he doesn't mean anything to me; I'm done with that stage in my life. But I'm also done with acting. Maybe not forever, but definitely for now … I'm done doing things that don't make me happy. And acting just doesn't do it for me anymore. The last few years it has all become so automatic, so forced … This …" Caroline pointed to her work.

"This makes me happy. I have always loved painting. Ever since I was kid, but it was always pushed aside, as irrelevant to something else. My father didn't acknowledge it; Tyler thought it was a silly little waste of time, so I stopped doing it. What an idiot … Well nobody is going to tell me what to do anymore; I'll only care about me from now on."

Katherine could hear the actual hurt behind Caroline's words, so her friend was still somewhere in there; she just needed to find a way to reach her.

"Ok, you're right, it's your life. I'm just the messenger, please don't shoot me. If you don't feel like going to the audition, then don't go, just be sure this is what you really want."

Caroline turned towards Katherine and said the first genuine thing in weeks.

"I don't want to see him Kat. It's still too soon. Maybe … Maybe, and hopefully, there will come a day when I'll be able to see him, even hold a polite conversation with him, and it all won't matter, like nothing happened between us. Like I didn't give him my heart, and he … I just want to paint some more …"

"Sure hun … It's truly a remarkable sunrise. You can tell it's going to be a good day. Hey … We should totally go out tonight. It is Emma Stone's birthday party, she invited us last week when we met in that restaurant, remember? It would be rude not to go … Dance, drink, fool around …"

"You go without me Kat. "Love actually" is no TV tonight."

"Oh no you don't Care bear. You are not spending another night at home watching some heartbreaking romantic comedy. I have solemnly decided today is going to be an awesome day, and I'm including you into this awesome day whether you want it or not. We are partying tonight babe. New York watch out, two single gals a coming …"

"Ok, let's please take it from the top. One more time sweetie, you can do it. " the acting coach was encouraging some eight year old by the name of Elena, and giving Klaus a headache. Five hours of sitting here and listening to six, seven and eight year old auditioning for the role of the daughter of the main couple. It was a big role and everything had to be perfect, almost as big as his role in this film and the role of Hannah … Which will be casted in five days … And still no word from his estranged wife, he really fucked up this time. Royally fucked up. Kat told him to give Caroline time, not to push, because that would only make her angrier but Klaus was beginning to think that Kat was wrong. How could it get any worse? She wasn't speaking to him; she was across the country, getting over him. Exactly what he so stupidly wanted a month ago, well, congratulations mate your wish came true, he thought bitterly and give himself a sarcastic pat on the back. She was gone, for all he knew she didn't feel anything for him anymore, and he had no idea how or when, if ever, would he get this remarkable woman back. The only one that ever matter, ever since that day she turned up at the set of their show looking so young, tiny and vulnerable. It has always been her, but it took this idiot fifteen years to realize it, no wonder she finally came to her senses and saw him for what he really was, a bastard. But he wanted to be more for her, more than he could express in words, he just honestly didn't know where to start. And thinking about it twenty four seven was a torture … So he tried to focus on work, he was being an obsessive control freak, even worse than Caroline, controlling every single angle of the film that was to be made, even freaking Meredith told him to tone it down a bit. But this was his baby, his life's work, but how come it mattered so little, and brought him no actual joy, when he didn't have her by his side to share his happiness and excitement with? He was thirty years old. It took him thirty years to finally realize it didn't matter what you have done, but who was by your side to share it with when it happened, the good or the bad, she could have handled it. He saw it now, but it was him … It was him who was apparently such a big coward that he didn't manage to handle anything even remotely related to emotions. Oh no, he was getting that headache again …

" Klaus, are you ok? Are we done for today or do you want her to try another scene?" Meredith asked him apparently realizing he was somewhere else.

" No, it's fine. Thank you very much sweetheart, you did a splendid job. Thank you for coming, we'll let you know shortly." he escorted Elena and her acting couch.

"So, what did you think? Good? I think she's a little ruff around the edges, but has great potential. She could be our girl, she fits into the role. We just have to see how she interacts with other actors." Meredith was being all professional, but Klaus was still somewhere else.

"Meredith, do you want kids?"

Meredith was looking at him like he had truly fallen of Mars.

"Sorry, that's a personal question. I totally crossed the line … It's none of my business …" Klaus started apologising.

"No, it's ok, it's not like you asked me if I liked sodomising puppies, I don't by the way regardless of what you have heard, you just surprised me, that's all. I don't … know … Maybe, eventually … I don't really plan those things, if they happen great, if not … maybe it wasn't meant to be."

Meredith observed him while he was staring into the distance.

"Is this about a certain blonde girl we're not mentioning, although I've been nagging you for weeks now that she HAS TO come and audition?"

"She wants kids. Don't know how much, but she does …"

" And that scares you?"

" It's freaking killing me. Brining a baby into this world … Being raised by me … I'd be a crappy dad." Klaus said sadly.

" You can't know that." Meredith said sympathetically.

"No, but I can guess … I just don't think some guys have it in them, and I think I'm one of them."

" Well, that's also a possibility, I won't lie … But I think a lot of men think like that at first, and then they learn. When having the right person by your side, you can do miracles. I mean just look what you and Caroline did. If it wasn't for the two of you, working as a team, this film would never be even an option, let alone the next big thing, as I sure it will be. You did it, together. I believe there isn't a thing in the world you couldn't do. Together. "

" Yeah … That togetherness seems like miles away now." Klaus tried not to lose the last shred of hope he was holding on to, but he had to be realistic, he didn't deserve Caroline, and his love would never be enough for all the wrongs he had done.

"But enough about my petty existence. I have to run. Rebekah's meeting me for lunch. She's taken over the role of the protective sister now, keeping tabs on me, so I don't cut my wrists, or worse … Start doing drugs again …"

"Well I for one am not worried. You have come along way since that train wreck Niklaus Mikaelson. I have faith in you."

"Thank you Meredith. Really. Not just for taking a chance on me with all of this, but for being a true friend … Who would have thought, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's not get all sappy now, don't forget I'm the Hollywood shark and a piranha in one, don't ruin my reputation, I've worked very hard to earn it. " Meredith smiled coyly.

" And please … Go get our girl. The film needs her. And most importantly, so do you."

" I know I do." Klaus finally admitted it out loud. The only thing that was to be seen … Did she still need or want him? Or was it too late?

" Sorry I'm late brother. My God the traffic in L.A. is ghastly; sometimes I miss the good old England. Rebekah came into the restaurant where they were having lunch like a hurricane."

" But if you stayed in London, you wouldn't have met Matt …"

"… speaking of my dear boyfriend … I invited him to lunch, he's parking the car as we speak, I hope you don't mind."

"Why would I mind? I have nothing against him; you know I always thought he was a decent guy. It's him who has problems with me …"

"Oh Nik, I'm sorry … It's just that he loves Caroline very much, she gave him a chance and a friendly hand when he had no one in the world. He feels very protective towards her, like an older brother, surely you can relate to that. How would you feel if someone did to me what you did …" Rebekah stopped when she saw the hurt look on her brother's face. He knew exactly what he did; she didn't need to remind him.

"Anyways, Matt has promised me he'd be on his best behaviour. You do the same, and we can have a nice, polite lunch together. Please, I just want to have lunch with my two favourite guys, is that too much to ask?" his little sister was giving him the puppy eye treatment.

" Fine, Bekah. Don't treat me like a kid, I'll behave."

"I'll stop treating you as one when you stop acting like one." she mumbled quietly.

" What did you say?"

"What? Nothing. I think the lobster is fresh … We should ask … Waiter?"

So the three of them were sitting there in the most perfect quietness eating their freaking lobsters, and naturally Klaus couldn't take it anymore.

" So Matt? Since you're Caroline's right hand, had she contacted you about the audition next week?" he knew he shouldn't ask that, and he could feel Rebekah's very high heel painfully digging into his leg, but he was a masochist, what else could he say?

"That's personal and private. And frankly, none of your business." Rebekah grabbed Matt's hand gently, trying to ease the tension.

" No, ok … I was asking strictly professional … There will be a lot of actresses coming in to audition, I have to know whether to put her on the list on not." they all knew very well it was a load of crap, but Klaus had to try.

"No, she won't be auditioning for you, ever again, professionally nor personally. Now if you'll excuse me, I do apologise, but I suddenly lost my appetite. Bex, I'll be waiting in the car." he gave her a quick kiss, and stormed out without even looking at Klaus.

"One meal. One bloody meal in peace. That is all I asked." Rebekah's heel was still on his foot.

" You're right Rebekah. I am sorry, I don't know what I was thinking … God, I'm so fucked up, I have no idea what I'm doing … Help me out here …"

" Nik …" her anger went away, as she squeezed his hand gently.

" Only you know what is in your heart. Only you know what you want … If it's Caroline, then go after her, now … No more waiting and more hesitating …"

" But everyone told me …"

" Stop listening to others. Listen to you heart. He is the only one that is never at fault. But Nik … This time be a hundred percent sure what you want, and what you are ready to do for that amazing woman. Because, so help me God, even though I love you more than anyone else, and even though you are my brother, if you hurt her again … I'll tear out your liver and feed it to the dogs. She deserves the best, and you can be that for her, I know you have it in you Nik. You just have to start believing in it too … Because without that Nik … I can't help you, no one can …"

"Sorry Caroline but I can't help you. No one can … No one can help you if you're so delusional to think you've actually put on weight. I mean you're as skinny as a supermodel on a water based diet. I can practically see your bones girlfriend."

"Oh yeah? Why can't I zip this dress then?"

" Hm, maybe because it's made for a toddler. Where the hell did you buy a dress so freaking tight? I want one … Damn, your boobs look big in it. You are smoking hot sister, you still got it."

"Well it's not like I had a lot of choice, or any for that matter. You said, and I quote, get you skinny ass into a hot dress tonight and go out with me or I'll take every picture you painted in the last month and burn it in front of your very eyes, end of quote. Blackmailer …" Caroline stuck her tongue to Katherine.

Katherine started laughing like crazy, she was glad to see Caroline was at least trying to be in a good mood.

" It's all for a good cause my dear Caroline Forbes … Since you pointed out you didn't feel like getting laid tonight, you can be my wingman."

"I think you watch too much of How I met your mother, it is not healthy to have Barney Stinson as your sole role model. Besides … I'm pretty sure you have no problems picking up guys on your own."

"No, but it's more fun this way. Come. Promise me you'll at least try to have some fun tonight. Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Ok, fine. I'll have a blast. The time of my life." Caroline said sarcastically, but Kat hugged her enthusiastically anyways.

So they went to the party and Caroline was all smiles and polite to everyone, talked with Emma about her new movie, congratulated Jennifer on her Oscar. But was she having the time of her life? Honestly? She just wanted out of this tight dress and into her fluffy pyjama, with chocolate in one hand, and Pringles in the other, damn it, no wonder she could barely zip the dress, her eating habits very all over the place lately. Katherine was trying so hard to entertain her, too hard … She felt sorry for her, Katherine should be the first one on the dance floor seducing the hottest guy here, not babysitting her depressed ass. So she somehow managed to put the biggest, brightest smile on her face and under the pretence of getting them a drink she managed to lose Katherine for a while.

"Two vodkas please."

"So, it's nice to see your drinking habits haven't changed, that says a lot about a woman."

"Jonathan … Funny, how we just keep on bumping into each other."

"It's almost like the Universe is trying to tell us something." he was being all cute and flirty, and Caroline almost felt bad … That she didn't meet him before she fell madly in love with a man that broke her heart, twice. But the damage was done, and there was no turning back.

" Yeah. That we drink too much." she even managed to make a joke out of it, although he was making her a bit uneasy. He obviously liked her, but she … She was so not ready for this.

"So? You're here with?" he looked at the two glasses in her hands now.

"Oh, with a friend. Girl's night out. Again."

"It's good thing your husband doesn't mind. If you were my wife I don't know how I'd ever let you out of my sight." Ok, so the flirting was on, and heavily on. Caroline blushed, and drank her vodka in one quick sip. It was burning her throat, and her stomach, like crazy. She didn't have a sip of alcohol ever since that night when she threw up everything that she had, not just the content of her stomach, but her dignity as well.

Jonathan was quiet for a while, he was looking at her hand, and at that moment Caroline realized there was no wedding ring there. No wedding ring … And it was as if he read her mind, damn it, she always hated how transparent she was …

" Troubles in paradise?"

" Hm … Oh, you mean … No, I had to have it resized, I gained some weight lately …" she was lying through her teeth grateful the lighting was bad so he couldn't see her shade of red, she always was a bad liar.

" No … Now I know your messing with me. You look as amazing as ever."

Ok … And what now? Oh well, she took Katherine's vodka and drank that one too. And then it happened so quickly so barely managed to hold on to the bar. It all came rushing at her. The smoke, the lack of air, the alcohol in her stomach, the throbbing headache, she felt like she couldn't breathe, like she would faint. She needed some air. Now.

" I'm sorry … I need to use the restroom. I'll be right back." She lied to Jonathan and went towards the bathrooms but actually took a turn towards the back exit. This is the second time she had done this to him, and she was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes ever again, but right now she didn't care all that much about that. She cared about feeling like a truck ran over her. It couldn't be from the two vodkas, maybe she was coming down with something … She leaned against a cold brick wall, and she could feel her stomach twisting and turning. And before she could stop it, she was on the floor, again, throwing up, again. And it wasn't the physical pain that was killing her, but the memories of that night, when she admitted her feelings to herself and Bonnie, when she went home, the swimming pool incident, and them making love for the last time … All of this filled her eyes with tears for the first time since she left L.A. a month ago.

" Caroline? Omg … Are you ok?" she heard Kat's voice behind her filled with panic. She could only imagine how this scene looked like to Katherine, her kneeling on her knees in a back side alley, the smell of vomit in the air. But her stomach did calm down a bit … So she managed to pick herself up and wipe her mouth …

" I think I'm coming down with something. I swear I'm not drunk, I had only two drinks. It most be some virus I picked up …"

"Caroline … "Katherine approached her carefully.

" Please don't bite my head off … but … You've been feeling strange lately, headaches, strange appetite, insomnia, and now this … Could you be pregnant?"

Caroline didn't understand what Katherine was saying. I swear, Katherine's words just went right through her.

"Katherine don't be ridiculous. No way. Not a chance in hell. This is not some teenage show where every time someone feels a bit under the weather it right away means that someone is pregnant. In case you forgot all those symptoms could mean a million things. I had a ruff month; I guess my organism is just trying to tell me that."

" Ok. That's a relief. So you're basically telling me there is no chance you could be pregnant?"

"Yes, thank you. That is exactly what I'm trying to tell you. I mean it's not like you don't know Klaus's perspective on the baby thing, so we used protection every time … I'm on the pill since I was nineteen …" and in that moment something creped inside Caroline's brain. But no … No and no and no and no. What were the chances? They must have been a million to one … Katherine right away saw the shocked and panicked look on Caroline's face.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

" No … I …" she was totally freaking out.

" Calm down honey. This is not helping you. Breathe."

" That night at the bachelorette party… I threw up the pill and I didn't take another one to replace it … I slept with Klaus that night …"

Caroline sat on the floor and just stared vaguely in front of herself. This was a scenario from those cheesy movies Hollywood was making easy bucks on, it wasn't a real life story, and it couldn't be.

Kat sat next to her.

" Let's not panic, ok? It's just one pill, and who says it didn't already start to work before you … you know … It's not that easy to make a baby. So we shouldn't jump to any conclusions. I'm sure this is just some virus going around and we're overacting. You're so right; this is the real life, not some Hollywood bullshit where vampires get pregnant with werewolves. It's going to be fine. Everything is fine." Katherine was trying to comfort her.

"What, what if it's not? What if I'm really pregnant?" Caroline asked her, trying to think what it would be like to be pregnant with Klaus's child. It felt scary and shocking and overwhelming, but a part of her already knew she'd feel almost disappointed if it didn't turn out to be true. Klaus's child in her womb …Their child …

"Well, we should deal with it right away. No time to waste … There are plenty of pharmacies that work all night. Let's get you a pregnancy test."

Caroline took her hand, and they hailed a cab. A pregnancy test was waiting … A little line would soon show the most important thing in her life …

Klaus got home after the explosive lunch he had with Matt and Rebekah. He couldn't get Rebekah's words out of his head. She was right of course. He had to think about his next move very carefully. He loved Caroline, but was love enough? Regardless of this love everyone praised so much he hurt her, he crushed her feelings, made them seem little and unimportant. He could only imagine how she felt in that moment … He was an asshole of the biggest sorts … He was crashing and burning her feelings since the day they met. He brought her nothing but suffering and heartache. He was no different than Tyler, he was possibly even worse. The right thing to do would be not to be selfish and let her find happiness with someone else. He went into his office and poured himself scotch, straight, no ice, and no ice tea this time. He had no intention of getting drunk but he needed something to numb the burning pain he felt in his stomach. He looked around the office … This was the only place he felt at least a bit "safe" … All the other parts just reminded him too much of her. The living room where they had their first argument when she "moved" in, the kitchen where he made her coffee, the swimming pool she fell into, his bedroom where they … Sometimes when he focused enough he could still smell her perfume on his sheets. Of course the sheets were changed at least four times since Caroline left, but he could still feel her, close to him. He took another sip of the drink, he wondered if that feeling would ever go away. So this is love … This is that feeling everyone was talking about … Well it officially sucked. He hated it. He hated he couldn't go to sleep or wake up in the morning without having her on his mind. He hated that every other woman reminded him of her in a way, but still they weren't even near of having her style, her charm, her grace, her beauty, and her heart. What he hated the most were the little things she took away when she left, and he still couldn't get them out of his mind, the way she sneezed, the way she ate peanut butter with her fingers when she thought no one was looking, the way she smiled when that commercial about milk came on … No … Actually … What he hated the most was that he didn't hate all those feelings at all, he just hated he didn't have her near to share it with her … But he could … But would that be a good choice? Not for him … But for her, he had to thing about her this time … If only this could be one of those cheesy Hollywood movies where in this moment something would happen ,a sign for him what to do. But those things unfortunately happen only in corny romantic comedies, not in real life … He was playing with the drawers of his table when suddenly something caught his eye. His little camera … He hadn't put it there. He took it in his hands and look at it. He pressed play and suddenly Caroline's face appeared in it. She started talking and he was mesmerised. He missed her so much.

"I know you are dark. I can feel your darkness. It doesn't only surround you, it surrounds me too. I know you are no good. Others don't have to say it to me, in order for me to know you are a bad man sometimes. They don't have to tell me I should have given you up ages ago, turned my back on you and walked away … Walking away is easy … Staying is the part that hurts … But that hurt has become such a big part of me, I think it would feel like a lost leg or an arm if I didn't feel it any longer. That is what you are to me. You are not only in my heart and in my mind. You're in my gut, in my stomach, my liver, my legs and arms. You are in me. You are my biggest punishment and my greatest love, all wrapped in one. I can't live with you. But hope it brings you pleasure to know, no matter how far I go, I can never live without you either…"

Klaus listened to the dialogue from the script without breathing. It wasn't just that she was brilliant if what she was saying and how she was saying it, it was like … she was saying it to him … This was it, this was the sign he was waiting for. He could give her up, and she could give him up, but they'll never get rid off each other … Their love was painful at times, crazy at most times, irrational and inexplicable, but it was theirs … He needed her like air in his lungs, and he was pretty sure she felt the same way. Hell, if she didn't he would do anything to make her feel that way again. He would growl and beg, he would steal and lie, and he'd kill for her if necessary. But he knew … He couldn't live another moment without her …

He took his wallet and his mobile phone and rushed out. He had to get to the airport, but it would still take hours to get to N.Y. He needed to tell her how he felt right now. He took his mobile phone and dialled her number. She of course didn't answer, like the other hundred times he tried calling… But he still had to get all of this of his chest … So he decided to leave her a voicemail.

"Caroline … Sweetheart … I'm on my way to N.Y. I know you don't want to see me and you have every right to feel that way. But I'm coming anyway. You'll see me in a few hours, I'll turn up at your doorstep, and maybe I won't sweep you of your feet right away, but if you let me I'll devote my life to sweeping you of your feet, every they for the rest of our lives … Our lives together … Caroline, I … "

Caroline was dreaming she was on this gorgeous paradise looking island. She was playing in the sand while the Sun was shining … There was a man by her side …

" Klaus … " she whispered gently.

" The one and only sweetheart." he kissed her gently, and wrapped his hands around her waist. She leaned into him and closed her eyes. There was no place like this. It was home …

" I've missed you." she said not opening her eyes, because she knew it was a dream, and she didn't want it to be.

"I've never left. I'd never leave you Caroline. Even if I was blind I'd always find you …I'd always find my way back to you. Don't ever forget that."

" I won't. I promise." she whispered into the wind. But when she turned around he wasn't there anymore.

" Klaus? Klaus?" she was calling him but there was no answer. There was nothing.

" Caroline … Caroline please wake up."

She opened her eyes. She wasn't on a paradise island and there wasn't a Klaus by her side. She was in her room in N.Y; I mean in Katherine's apartment, and Katherine was the one by her side. Wait … Why?

"What's going on?"

" Honey. Please promise me you'll stay calm…"

" Kat don't scare me. Just tell me … Why are you in my room in the middle of the night?" Caroline could feel the panic in her own voice. Something was wrong … She could feel it, the strange burning feeling coming from an unknown place, something has happened, something bad …

Katherine swallowed her own saliva and continued.

" Rebekah called … There's been an accident …"

First of all I just have to say, I didn't plan to publish this today ... But I started writing and I couldn't stop ... I don't know if you'll like it or not, but I truly hope you do, because this is the most emotional chapter I've written, or at least that is how it felt while I was writing this ... The other reason why I just had to publish it as soon as possible ... WELL, YOU GUYS OF COURSE! 45 reviews for the last chapter, 45, I'm still in shock! I appreciate every one of them, even those that think the story is to depressing, sorry you feel that way, but thank you for sharing your opinion with me ... Of course I especially hold dear those that send so much love for this story, thank you guys, this is just for you ;)

So ... I know you probably want the kill me after this chapter, since we have not one but two cliffhangers :p ... Is Caroline pregnant? And what accident? The story is coming to its end so things have to be heating up, don't hate me, I just have to do sth. to keep you interested :p ... Don't worry, everything will be revealed in the next chapter ... So stay tuned, and I truly hope you'll enjoy this one, it's warm and emotional and raw, and everything Caroline and Klaus could be on TVD but the writers won't give it to us, so I hope this helps at least a bit ... I'll be as always waiting for your reviews, and appreciating every little one of them ...

P.S. I hope you caught my little reference to Hayley's pregnancy in the show in this chapter ... I have no comment really, except: BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT AND YEAH BULLSHIT ;)