Kidnapped Ch.19
Sitting in the doctor's office, Kate could feel a rush of pure, unadulterated joy coursing through her veins. She would get to see her baby today. She looked up to see Castle's eyes shining, but as his hand moved to her shoulder, she could also feel that they were shaking.
The doctor had stepped out of the room temporarily to allow Kate some privacy as she changed out of her jeans and shirt into a hospital gown, and for the moment, they were alone.
'Rick, what's wrong?' Kate asked softly, turning around to face him when she was done.
'Nothing, Kate. Everything is perfect,' Castle told her with a smile that was more of a forced grimace, but Kate cut him short.
'Castle, you don't have to hide anything from me. I'm your wife,' Kate whispered to him.
'What if I mess this up, Kate? What if I am a horrible father to cookie here?' Castle asked in a voice that cried for reassurance, gesturing towards her abdomen, and Kate placed her hands on her hips.
'Rick, listen to me. You are a wonderful father. Just look at Alexis. She's grown up to be a wonderful young woman. Both she and cookie are so lucky to have you as their father,' Kate told him, her tone firm.
'I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm so happy, and that it will be gone any moment,' Castle finally admitted the thought that has been lurking at the back of his mind for days.
'I'm scared, too,' Kate told him. 'I know Bracken is behind all these attempts on my life, but who's helping him? There is a mole in the NYPD, and I have no idea who it is. I have no idea who is friend or foe. I'm scared that cookie won't survive, or that I won't be able to see cookie grow up. We don't have the answers, and we only have questions, but we have to live every second of our lives. You taught me that, Rick, and I remember.'
'I love you, Kate. I love you so much,' Castle told her, giving her a tender kiss on her lips.
'I know. I love you too,' Kate answered.
Just then, a knock was heard on the door, and the doctor returned. She was an old friend of Kate's from school, and one of the best gynecologists in New York City.
'So, Mr. and Mrs. Castle, are we ready to see the little one yet?' Bethan Huxtable asked cheerfully.
'Yes,' Castle answered eagerly, his inner nine-year-old shining through his eyes. The seriousness of the conversation had already faded from him mind. Kate took a look at him and laughed, then nodded at the doctor as well.
'Lie down, Katie,' Beth told her, and she obliged. Beth then pulled up the gown slightly as she covered her legs with a blanket, and took out a tube of gel.
'Now, this is going to be a little cold,' Beth warned as she squirted some gel onto her bare abdomen. As soon as the gel came in contact with Kate's skin, she burst out into uncontrollable giggles, and Beth sighed in amusement.
'Some things just never change, do they?' Beth smirked, and Kate glared at her half-heartedly.
'She was always like this?' Castle asked, intrigued by the possibility of blackmail material.
'Yeah. We used to run a towel under the cold tap and try to sneak up on her to get the towel on her. Why do you think she loves a hot bath and objects to a cold shower?' Beth told him, enjoying the murderous daggers that Kate was shooting at her. 'Oh, come on, Katie. We both know that you love me too much to hurt me.'
'I hate it that you are always right,' Kate grumbled.
'And there's the baby,' Beth announced, as her hand stilled over a spot on her abdomen. She pointed to a small blob on the screen, as Castle moved over closer to Kate.
'There's our baby,' Kate murmured, tears flowing down her cheek.
'Our baby,' Castle repeated in awe. Kate shifted unconsciously so that she was closer to Castle.
Beth stilled the image on the screen and printed out several copies of it. Sensing that her old friend wanted a moment of privacy, she excused herself quietly and left the room, heading for the pharmacy to prepare some vitamins for Kate.
'Sir, she's pregnant. The child has done nothing to incur such a fate,' Michael exclaimed into the phone. He was staring at the paperwork that Victoria Gates had submitted to him for Kate's maternal leave, when the time came.
'So? How do we know that it was even accurate information?' Bracken snapped into the phone. How was it that every time he wanted to get rid of her permanently, something always blocked his way?
'Sir, Captain Gates had no idea that I work for you. She would never provide me with false information. She was the one who tipped us off as to what leads the detectives have on Beckett when we kidnapped her. She was the reason why we even managed to hold her for so long.'
'I don't care. Get rid of her. With her still being here, me running for president will be a huge risk. I do not want that kind of risk associated with my career. Is that understood?' Bracken told him.
'But, sir…' Michael protested again, and Bracken cut him off rudely.
'Forget it, Keys. You've failed me too many times. This time, I'll be handling this personally,' Bracken told him, his voice calm and cold as he slammed the phone down, leaving Keys silently wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into.
Taking out a cutter, Kate cut open the tape that sealed the last unopened box in the office that no one had entered in over ten years. She smiled as she remembered the look on Castle's face when they entered the room.
Flashback:
'When was the last time that someone went into the room?' Castle asked, curiosity evident in his voice.
'No one has been in here since mom died,' Kate answered, slipping the key into the lock with a little difficulty, and turned the key.
'It's the secret garden.' Castle exclaimed, his ever-present inner child taking over. 'You've found the secret garden.'
She loved it when she could see that side of him. Her job consisted of murders and victims. All she came across was violence and madness. Seeing how Castle managed to retain some of his innocence, she felt as if the world could still be a safe, better place.
Peering inside the box that she had just opened, she spotted the stacks of scripts that her mother had typed out for her during sleepless nights. Along with the scripts, there were pictures of them altogether.
Kate looked up, hoping to get her emotions under control, but even when she was staring at the ceiling, all she could see behind her eyelids were pictures of their family, back when they were whole.
Pictures of Johanna Beckett, cuddling a tiny Kate as they left the hospital.
Pictures of Johanna Beckett smiling when a chubby, laughing Kate was hugging her birthday present close to her chest.
Pictures of Johanna Beckett with a teenage Kate, when she attended her first prom with her best girlfriends.
All of a sudden, the reality hit Kate in the face, harder than even before. There were uncountable moments her mother would not be able to be there for her. When she needed advice on how to be a mother, she won't be able to go running to her mother for help. She won't be able to compare pregnancies with her mother, and laugh about their similarities, and coo over how to decorate the baby's room, and what clothes to buy – pink or blue or a gender-neutral yellow? All of these things, none of them for her and her mother –
She choked back a sob, hoping that Castle did not hear her, but Castle being Castle, could hear the slightest sounds when it came to Kate. He was next to her in a second, and she buried her face in his chest and began to cry.
'Kate, honey. Everything will be alright,' Castle soothed her. He kept her close with one hand around her waist, and his other hand running up and down her back.
'I want my mom, Castle. I need my mom,' Kate whimpered, longing for something she could never have in this lifetime.
A/N: Well, well, well. Would you look at that? No cliffhangers. There is a reason behind that, though. I came up with a cliffhanger that will happen later in the story, and it will be a brutal one. Prepare yourselves. Also, Andrew Marlowe created enough of a cliffhanger in the first episode of Castle, didn't he? Boy, I thought I was mean with cliffhangers, but compared to him? I'm nothing.
As usual, PLEASE REVIEW. Criticisms are much appreciated, but no flamers please.
This chapter is dedicated to Bianca tabbycat for taking time to read over/edit my un-proofread work, even with her upcoming dance competition, for which she claims she is so 'woefully unprepared' that she can barely think straight.
Zoe tabbycat