Sparring

"With the coming of the Opening Interviews tonight, all of Panem is a'buzz wondering who will charm and thrill the crowd and who will fall flat. From the Hungers Games Municipal Tower, this is Caesar Flickerman. Here with me is Artorius Flemming. Artorius—"

"Hi, Caeser."

"What can we expect to see with the Tributes this year?"

Pandora wrapped her blanket around her shoulders and grabbed for the remote. Her eyes barely left the screen before she turned the power off and slumped back.

Sunlight was spilling into the loft. It was just late afternoon. The roar of crowds thundered throughout the streets, rumbling the buildings. For a second she could have sworn she saw the glass trembling to the chaotic sound of cheering and chants.

"What was that?"

"Just—preliminary interviews," she whispered.

Her eyes didn't lift until Finnick was standing in front of her. He was pulling on a suit jacket. His hair was styled to the side.

"Do you feel any better?"

Pandora smiled quietly. The truth was she did feel better, almost immediately after being released from the infirmary she felt like herself again, but she was afraid. Afraid that this was a precursor to something awful. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, there was a gut instinct squirming inside her, an instinct that told her something was wrong.

"I feel great," she replied.

"You really worried me…" he took a seat next to her on the sofa. Her eyes fluttered at his touch. "Are you sure everything is alright?"

"Finnick, I—" she wanted to say she was scared, but the word caught in her throat, "It's alright. I was dehydrated and tired. Don't worry about me."

"Sometimes you make it hard."

Her hand lifted to his face, "You know what would make me happy? Stay with me tonight. Don't go to the interviews."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

Finnick's eyes quickly moved to the windows, "My mentees need me. I need to help them. You understand."

But she didn't.

Her hand slowly dropped. She didn't want to make a fuss but secretly she was insulted. After all she had just collapsed down a flight of stairs, even if Finnick didn't know the whole story he knew that much. But something in his eyes told her he was far away. His hand was around her but it felt like someone else's.

She pursed her lips as she recalled the first time they kissed, how hungry and passionate he seemed. Finnick had always been that way, even up to a few weeks ago, but ever since he had left for the Reaping in District 4 he had changed.

"Of course," she whispered, "I just—I don't want to be alone."

"You won't be. I'll be back before you know it."

She furrowed her brow and nodded.

"I know," a strained laugh past her lips, "I'm just being silly."

He grinned slowly. His eyes flickered to her as he leaned in for a kiss, "I'm glad you're feeling better."

His lips brushed hers for a brief second before he stood up and straightened out his suit and shirt, "See you soon."

The instant she heard the door close she felt alone. Her eyes sadly turned to the windows. She felt like crying but couldn't find the strength.

Slowly the sun fell. Reds and pinks bled through the blue sky. Evening came faster than expected. The only sound she could hear for the longest time was the ticking of the clock on her mantel. An hour must have past before something echoed into her loft. Her eyes widened in awareness.

It was the rhythmic noise of feet.

Suddenly she sat up and narrowed her eyes towards the entrance. Her hand grabbed the armrest of the sofa as she climbed to her feet and shuffled to the door. Pandora had just reached it when a symphony of knocks boomed.

Her mind only went to one place. It must be Finnick, perhaps he changed his mind and decided to stay with her. Her finger quickly fumbled for the handle. It swooshed open so fast that her hair stirred around her face and shoulders.

Pandora's heart dropped.

"What are you doing here?"

Adric was dressed in his civilian clothes. In his hands was box.

"I was checking in on you."

He looked like he hadn't slept.

"Uh—why?"

He adjusted the box and cleared his throat, "Can I come in?"

"I guess."

Her eyes widened as she watched him rush into the loft and throw the package on the counter.

"I didn't think you should be alone…with you feeling badly."

"I feel fine."

"Yea, well—" he was sorting through the box, haphazardly tossing things around, "I don't believe that."

"Finnick will be back soon," Pandora had no idea why she decided to say that, she grimaced instantly.

"That's funny, I just saw him at the Interview prep…"

She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.

"Adric, what the hell are you doing? What is that box?"

"Aha!" He grinned broadly as he peered up and began putting things on the counter, "I have things to make you feel better. I have some medicine for your headache from Mironov…and a knife and piece of wood so you can whittle."

"I—" she suddenly felt overwhelmed.

"I thought you would be missing that, I remember seeing your house in District 7, it was filled with hand crafted wood."

"Adric!"

Immediately he stopped.

"I don't want any of this."

"I was just trying—"

"I know. I get it. You're being nice…as always you're trying to be nice."

He straightened up, letting his hands fall to his side before he took a step back.

"Look—I know I'm starting to get used to you. I don't want you to think I'm not grateful for…" she thought of the video he had showed her, "…for everything."

"I don't mean to annoy you."

She stared at him silently. In a way it was nice. She did feel lonely.

"Finnick couldn't stay with me, he had to go…"

"Yea?"

"I wanted him to stay but he had to go."

Adric studied Pandora for a moment. Normally she seemed slightly melancholy but there was another kind of sadness in her eyes, on he couldn't put his finger on.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Her lips parted, her eyes were glossy from stress.

"No—I—I'm lonely."

She inhaled deeply, shocked that she admitted it so nakedly to him.

Adric's dark eyes twitched to her face.

"Don't leave."

"Alright," he whispered back with a slow nod.

Self-consciously she dropped her eyes and took a few steps forward. Her hand reached for the box when she was close enough, "Thank you for the whittling tools and medicine. Do you want something to drink?"

"I can get it. You sit."

"No, I like to. It keeps me busy."

She glanced at him before moving into the kitchen and filling two glasses up with water. She quickly looked away when she handed one to him.

"Sorry I hit you on the stairs. Or—shoved you."

"Don't mention it."

"I wasn't myself."

Adric sipped his water. He waited for her to look up at him before he smiled, "You're sad…why are you sad?"

Her hand moved to the back of neck, "It feels like something's wrong. It's as if Finnick is upset with me, or—I don't know what I'm saying."

Heat rose to her cheeks. The thought of Finnick being angry with her was frightening. She could feel Adric staring at her, but it was hard to look him in the eye. She felt ashamed that she had admitted her doubt.

"Hey…you want to get out of here?"

"Viktor said I should stay in bed."

"I don't care what Viktor said, do you want to get out of here or not?"

Her gaze shifted to the windows, only a second passed before she replied, "Yes."

"Right—grab your jacket and follow me, kid.

She pulled on her shoes and sweater, hustling to catch up with Adric as he opened the front door and started walking down the hallway.

After they past through the lobby unnoticed and stepped outside she spoke, "Where are we going?"

Adric smiled, "I think I know."

The streets were deserted. Everyone was at the City Circle, at the Opening Interviews. Even though Pandora could hear cheers and applause, it was from a distance. White walkways and pristine arches surrounded them as they continued to weave their way through the Capitol. Pandora watched Adric carefully. It was obvious he was a Capitol native. He didn't think about where he was going next, he simply strolled, as if every turn and step was habit.

When the finally stopped she lifted her eyes. They were in front of an abstract building made of steel and white reinforcement. It curved high into the sky ending in a sparkling silver point that reminded Pandora of a needle. The Panem flag hung over the entryway with the Capitol crest thread in gold onto the silky blackness.

"What is this place?"

"Military affairs."

She felt a slice of panic, "What? Why are we here?"

"You'll see."

The handle lit up as Adric touched it, automatically the door unlocked. Pandora furrowed her brow in thought. The handle was handprint activated.

Although there was a desk in the foyer no one sat at it. Just like the streets outside, the building felt vacant.

"Am I joining the armed forces?"

He let out a quick laugh and pressed for the elevator, "Yea, right."

Her hands grabbed for the railing as the elevator jolted up. It was moving so fast that it felt like the lift would shoot through the roof of the building.

When the elevator finally did stop and the doors opened Pandora froze in confusion.

Beyond the opened doors were a series of weapons, punching bags, mats, and targets. It reminded her of the Training Room before the arena, but more advanced.

"It's the combat preparation room."

She nervously followed him, her eyes unblinking, "Am I allowed here?"

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Clearance was needed to get in…"

"That's just to keep common civilians out. You're not a common civilian."

The white room was blinding. All along the walls were Panem Flags.

"Why are we here?"

He slowly peeled off his jacket and smiled, "I was thinking last night…"

"You think?"

His smile widened, "I was thinking that for obvious reasons you've been unsettled."

She looked away uncomfortably. Her eyebrow arched as her smile dropped.

"And you know what I think you need?"

"What's that?"

"To hit something really hard."

Her eyes moved to his face in shock. She tilted her head.

"I'm going to show you how to fight."

"I know how to fight, Adric."

"Why? Because you made it out of the arena? That doesn't mean anything."

This made her expression turn tense. Her eyes narrowed in a flash of anger, "Excuse me?"

"Now, don't get defensive. You wouldn't last one round against a trained person, you're small and fast but if you get caught then it's over."

"I did just fine when I was faced with death."

"You broke almost every finger in your hands and your leg. From time to time I see you touch you leg, so I know you can remember that pain very well. You were nearly torn apart by that boy from District 1. Do you honestly think you did fine?"

The aimed question made her draw back.

"I don't want to talk about that."

"You need to talk about it, made obvious by what happened yesterday, but I know you don't want to…I get it, and if you did why would you say anything to me? But this will help you silently deal with it."

"How is that?"

"You're afraid of physical confrontation. When it happens to you your mind goes back to the arena, am I right?"

Her silence was enough to tell him he was right.

"I think this will help you cope with that. Viktor may think you need to talk through your issues, I disagree, I think you need to face them. It will ease those memories. So are we going to do this or not?"

Pandora glared at him and shed her sweater. Her eyes stirred with fire as she walked towards him and pulled her hair up.

"Good," he answered to her silent actions. "First thing is hand to hand combat."

Adric widened his stance and stared at her as she mirrored his actions.

"No matter what fight you're in, balance is always the most important. Without balance you'll lose. Keep your legs shoulder width apart, be light on your feet."

He smirked a little as she rolled her eyes.

"Now, let me see your fists."

Pandora sighed before balling her hands and lifting them into the air.

"Try to hit me."

"What?"

He nodded to her and waved her forward, "C'mon, don't be shy."

She shook her head doubtfully and inched forward. Her back hunched as she tried to take a swing at his chest. He dodged that easier and faster than Pandora had ever seen, pushing her away harshly.

"More from your shoulder and core, Pandora. Not your neck."

In annoyance she readjusted her posture. When her fist flew through the air this time she landed a solid punch to his stomach.

She expected him to react but he only laughed, he was only slightly out of breath.

"Good. You feel that? You feel the force. It's all coming from your core. Again!"

This time when she swung at him she closed her eyes. Instantly she wished she hadn't. The memory of Petro's mangled corpse rattled her brain.

"Ah…" she grabbed the side of her hand and stumbled backward. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, her heart was suddenly racing…not from sparring but from fear.

"Pandora!" Adric took a step forward.

Flashbacks of the arena were clawing her insides suddenly.

"You're seeing things?"

"I'm not crazy!" she roared through the pain of memories.

"I know you aren't," his voice was steady and sincere, "You need to keep going."

"I can't…" the song of the eels made her head spin.

"You need to face this! Come on, you can do this!"

Her hands were clasped on her knees, she was bent over and breathlessly glaring.

Adric didn't stretch his hands out to help her, instead he tilted his head up confidently and slightly lifted his fists.

"You can do this, Pandora. Never give up."

A growl simmered past her teeth as she tiredly took in a breath and straightened her back. She gasped for air, slowly wiping the sweat away from her brow.

"C'mon," Adric whispered, his eyes became intense, "I believe in you."

With one more breath she lifted her hands and jumped forward. Sure enough more memories swelled, but she didn't stop. She threw a few blank punches at Adric, which he easily blocked.

Scorch's bleeding eyes.

Marius's death.

The way it felt to slide a knife into Nova's stomach.

The sound of Wisty's neck breaking.

All these memories and more stirred. Her eyes watered as a scream echoed from her. She was relentlessly coming at Adric, but he was well trained, her blows were easy enough to deal with. Even when she started crying she didn't stop. A few times Adric swatted at her, only to keep her going. Pandora knew that if he seriously decided to fight her she wouldn't make it past the first punch.

"I hate it!" She suddenly started screaming, thrashing at Adric.

Adric pursed his lips and blocked her blow, shoving her away for a minute to give her some space.

"What do you hate? Tell me what you hate!?"

She stood in place for a moment. Her whole body was trembling from adrenaline and grief, "I hate—" tears fell from her eyes, "I'm—I'm a murderer—I didn't have to kill any of them! I wanted to! And I hate myself for it!"

She was pacing. Her screams were unsteady.

Adric stared at her in shock, for the first time she was telling him her emotions, her real emotions.

"You think you're a bad person?"

Her eyes sadly shifted to him, her feet stopped, "I'm not even a person anymore."

"I don't believe that."

"Why should it matter what you believe?!

"Does it matter to you?"

Her brow furrowed, her face was flushed from crying, "I just said it doesn't!"

Adric took one step forward and stared into her eyes, "I am here."

"Don't say that!"

"I'm your friend."

"Shut up!"

She threw a punch at him, but this time he caught her wrist and held it. She lifted her other hand to smack him across the face but he quickly blocked the hit.

"I'm your friend."

"You don't—you can't be—you don't know me."

His hand was still wrapped around her wrist, "I know enough to understand that you aren't a bad person, you aren't a murderer—"

"I am! Why else would I be plagued with these memories, they won't go away!"

"You think because you have guilt that you're being punished?"

Her uneven breaths shuddered her lips as she kept her eyes on him.

"Pandora, if you were a murderer, you wouldn't think twice about those people. You wouldn't care…but you do care. Killing someone isn't the same as murdering."

"Why are you making me do this? I don't want to—I—I can't, if I stop pretending then it will hurt."

"I'm doing this because you need someone to make you face this. I'm not going to let you ruin yourself. You've seen what happens to other Victors when they decide to give up."

She could taste her tears as she slipped her wrist out of his grasp and staggered back, "What do you know about other Victors? You are—you're just a kid from Capitol."

"I know enough."

"You seem to think you know everything about me," Pandora slowly stammered, "Why is that?"

"Because I care."

A dark laugh left her lungs, "Why? You grew up here in the Capitol. All your you've been surrounded by wealth, by the Games. All you're life you've had it easy. And then I come along and suddenly you want to help someone like me? You tell me that you're my friend? I don't believe it."

"You miss the point entirely."

"Which is?"

Adric turned his face away from her and sighed, "I love the Capitol, Pandora—I realize…I realize you can't understand that. I would never betray my family or the Capitol. It's my home. When I tell you I care about you it has nothing to do with that."

"But why?! Why—why did you show me that film? Why would you do that for me?!"

His eyes dropped to the ground. There was only one way he could explain this to her, one jigsaw way that was so unclear and detoured he was sure she'd think he was crazy.

"I hated you when I first met you, you know?" his words were sudden and cold, "You remember when we first met?"

Pandora recalled her first day in the Capitol, when she attacked the beautician because he tried to take her bracelet. She recalled that it was Adric who escorted her into the interrogation room to first speak with President Snow.

"I remember."

"I hated you because I'm trained to do that. I'm not supposed to think about who you are as a person, I'm supposed to think of you as a civilian—Do you know I haven't watched a full Hunger Game since I was thirteen?"

Pandora silently shook her head.

"But I watched yours. I don't know why—I can't explain—but I did."

"I don't understand what you're trying to say, Adric."

She watched as he lifted his hand and covered his mouth in thought, his face was still turned away from her.

"I don't know how it happened, Pandora—but somehow, when I looked at you I felt that if you ever got out of the arena I needed to help you. It was like lightning striking. And then I saw you at the train station, and I knew you'd hate me. I know you still do."

Her gaze dropped.

"I get it—I do. I'm not doing this so you'll be my friend. I'm doing this because something inside me is telling me it's the right thing to do. It feels like it's something I have to do."

Finally he turned back to her. His eyes looked gloomy.

"I know you don't understand, but I know what I'm doing is the right thing. It's just… It's fate."

When he said the word she quickly lifted her eyes. Fate. A strange word, one Pandora hadn't heard in a lifetime aloud, but one that tormented her. Every time she thought of fate she cringed, her fate was nothing but death and destruction. To Pandora fate was a horrible joke, but to Adric is was hope, it was light.

Her creased brow remained but her eyes gradually softened. Suddenly standing next to Adric Pedersen didn't seem forced. For the first time since she had met him, she was seeing the vulnerability in his eyes. Suddenly she felt trust.

"You're right. I don't understand," she swallowed the dryness in her throat and nodded before looking away, "But I believe you."

Shock covered Adric's face. He relaxed his lips and studied her expression, it wasn't the reaction he had expected.

"Thank you," she continued, awkwardly keeping her eyes away from Adric, "For this."

"It's nothing…" he managed.

Finally she met his eye line. Her face was sincere, "I'm sorry."

"No, you don't have to—"

"I can't be your friend right now, Adric. I hope though—I hope that doesn't make you think less of me. But—" she rubbed her lips together, staring at her shoes as she tried to sort through everything that had just been said, "—I trust you. I know I trust you, and I know I believe you. I'm sorry for ever making you think you had to prove yourself."

"Pandora—"

"Don't say anything. Just—let's leave it at that."

Adric crossed his arms and nodded. He wanted to look at her but couldn't find the courage, "Alright."

She quietly put her hands in her pockets and cleared her throat.

"You ready to keep going? I promise I won't freak out, anymore." She finally whispered.

"Yea…" he slowly responded, "Yea I'm ready."