The Trouble with Cats
The end of spring in the world of the living was an interesting time of year; the days were becoming longer and brighter, the air hotter, the customers more obnoxious, and tempers shorter.
Which, for those individuals who had short tempers to begin with, was not a good thing.
"Put the customer down, Grimmjow!" barked Ulquiorra from the other side of the restaurant and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez just grinned sadistically as he kicked the lid off of one of the large trash bins in the dining room.
"Whatever you say, number four!" he laughed cruelly, stuffing the hapless man face-first into the garbage can. "I'm just doing my job and taking out the trash!"
Ulquiorra was nowhere near as amused as the sexta as he helped the man from the garbage can, attempting to apologize for Grimmjow's behavior, but the damage was done; the man stormed out of Burger World without looking back and everyone feared a visit from the police would be coming soon.
"How many times must I tell you not to abuse the customers?" asked Ulquiorra, turning to look at the other male.
"How many times do I gotta tell these assholes not to make a mess in my dining room?" sneered Grimmjow. "Answer my question and it'll answer yours."
"This is the fifth time today alone, Grimmjow…"
"Yeah, well, it's been a long fucking day," said Grimmjow dismissively as he placed the lid back on the trashcan.
"It is only noon," Ulquiorra corrected him coolly, but Grimmjow only shrugged as he went back to mopping the filthy floor, not giving two shits about what the cuarto had to say on the matter, manager or not. Really, screw him; he wasn't the one out on the floor dealing with all the idiotic humans and their messy habits. If Ulquiorra would pick up a mop once, just once, Grimmjow might have managed to give half a shit about his opinion, but until that special day when Hell froze over, the pale Demon Bat could kiss his ass!
"This behavior is unacceptable…" said Ulquiorra. "If this continues, you are going to bring unnecessary attention down on us… Trade places with Starrk; he will clean the dining room and you will manage the drive-through. Perhaps that will help keep you out of trouble."
Huh…that was unexpected.
Grimmjow allowed himself a smug little smile as he marched behind the counter and snatched the headset away from the primera and shoved the mop into his hands. It was about bloody time he got a chance to do something other than mindless cleaning!
"This won't end well…" Starrk muttered, shaking his head as he went out onto the floor. Grimmjow scowled at him; screw him, too, if he had such little faith in the mighty Grimmjow! It's not like this was rocket surgery or anything; idiot pulls up, idiot orders food, idiot drives to window, and then you hold the food hostage in exchange for the idiot's money. It was simple!
If those two moronic teenagers on the late shift can do it, then so can I! Grimmjow thought to himself arrogantly.
The headset crackled in his ear, alerting him to his first customer at the drive-through.
"This is Burger World; what the hell do you want?" he barked into the microphone, prompting Starrk to facepalm out on the floor.
"Excuse me?" asked the female voice on the other hand, sounding more than a little confused and offended by Grimmjow's greeting.
"Are you deaf or just stupid?" growled the Espada, "I asked what the hell do you want, moron!"
"Nothing from here! I'm going to WacDonald's!" responded the outraged customer before driving off, leaving an enraged Grimmjow yelling obscenities into the microphone.
"That's not the way to talk to 'em…" said Starrk from out in the dining room, never looking up from his task of mopping the floor, "It's 'Welcome to the World! What can I get for you today?,' no screaming or cursing, no threats or insults. Gotta make them feel like we actually want their business, not like you want to claw their eyes out."
"I'm not going to be subservient to some friggin' human!" declared Grimmjow.
"Consider it more like acting…" Tyn offered, "because that's all it really is; pretend you're a nice guy until they give you a reason to go crazy."
The headset beeped again, and Grimmjow resigned himself to trying to play nice for the moment.
"Welcome to the World!" he said into the mic, scowling the entire time. "What can I get for you today?"
"I want the number one—"
"What the hell?" demanded Grimmjow, face twisting in anger, "I'm better than Starrk, you got that, punk? You deal with me, or you get nothing, you stupid son of a—"
The sound of squealing tires cut Grimmjow off as the frightened customer sped away, most likely to go to another restaurant.
"Grimmjow…" began Ulquiorra from behind, "he was asking for a number one combo meal, not to speak with Starrk over you."
"How the hell was I supposed to know— shut up, Tyn!" raged Grimmjow as the redhead in the kitchen began to laugh loudly at his mistake.
"Maybe I should take back over…" suggested Starrk, leaning heavily on the mop. "I don't think you have the people skills for this."
"I have plenty of skills! More than enough for the likes of this! Just wait and see! More than you!" seethed the sexta as another beep alerted him to a new customer. "Welcome to the World! What can I get for you today? Number three combo and a large Coke, no problem! Drive around to the window!"
"He took an order without threatening violence… I'm amazed." said Tyn as he began preparing the customer's order, still shaking his head in disbelief.
"Nothing to it!" boasted Grimmjow smugly, opening up the window and leaning outside, "Now give me the money or I'm shoving your order in the garbage!"
"Easy, bro! I got the mo—"
"Now, jackass! Pay up or else!" threatened Grimmjow shaking his fist, and the human responded by speeding off while calling him a psychopath.
"GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A—" roared the sexta as he began to crawl through the window to give chase before Ulquiorra grabbed him by his waistband and yanked him back inside.
"You remind them what the charge is, Grimmjow; you do not extort money from them. This is not a hostage negotiation," said Ulquiorra, looking over at Starrk. "It seems I was mistaken; perhaps you two should switch back…"
Starrk wasted no time in returning to his post and snatching the headset away from the disgruntled Grimmjow, who reluctantly accepted his mop back in return. Everyone in the restaurant could hear the Panther Lord growling angrily as he marched back out into the dining room, muttering darkly about blood and vengeance as he began to swab the floors.
The few remaining customers inside all exchanged nervous looks as Grimmjow and his mop neared their tables before collectively deciding that they were finished with their meals and ready to leave.
At least they took care to avoid the freshly-mopped section of the floor on their way out and Grimmjow smirked at that as he leaned the mop against the wall and began to wash the tables off with a washcloth. If they'd been stupid enough to step foot on his clean floor after everything else, not even Ulquiorra would have been able to save their miserable lives.
"Perhaps you can try the drive-through on another day, when you're calmer," offered Ulquiorra from the counter up front, but Grimmjow just shook his head.
"It ain't for me," he admitted bitterly. "All it's going to take is one wrong word and I'm throwing a cup of hot grease or scalding coffee in someone's face or jump out the window and stab them in the throat… Besides, that stupid headset is irritating as piss."
"That is surprisingly mature of you, Grimmjow." said the cuarto. "Never before have you admitted that you could not handle a task."
"The world must be ending," quipped Tyn and Starrk gave a light chuckle as Grimmjow glared death at the both of them.
Deciding to ignore them before the irresistible urge to kill set it, he returned to mopping the floor and lost himself in thought; so the drive-through had beaten him, so what? He was still Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, and he would find something more befitting of his time and energy later, drive-through, customers, and the others all be damned! There was absolutely no way that an individual of his talents would be stuck mopping floors forever, and someday he'd break free of the shackles of Burger World to find real success.
He just hoped that when that day came he wasn't too 'mature' to rub it in everyone's face.
Working late annoyed the hell out of Halibel; ideally, she liked to be leaving The Oasis just as the crowds began to show up after a long day at their own jobs, but things weren't always so smooth. Two hours over wasn't too bad, though, especially compared to the night shift or the weekend, and the extra money it earned her helped make it all easier to deal with, even offsetting her foul mood somewhat.
The elevator was empty this evening, and she welcomed the quiet ride to the tenth floor as opposed to sharing the small, enclosed space with anybody. She allowed herself a small smile at her stroke of luck; extra money and an empty elevator…small things, simple things, but things that were very rewarding all the same. She simply couldn't ask the universe for much more at the moment.
Other than being able to afford her apartment without the need for a roommate, of course.
She exited on the tenth floor and headed down the hall to her apartment at the end, only to once again find herself ambushed by the little girl who lived just across the hall, Emi.
"Miss Halle Belle, Slurpee ran away!" she cried, and Halibel twitched. Slurpee was the girl's new cat, the one her parents had gotten for her when they'd failed to find her previous pet, who had ended up being Tyn's dinner.
Not again…I swear I'm going to kill him, she thought darkly, her almost-good mood evaporating as she knelt down beside Emi.
"It's Tia, okay?" she reminded the child, speaking as gently as she could manage given the circumstances. "Have you looked everywhere for him? Maybe he's just hiding."
"I looked and looked and looked but he's gone!" she cried, "He ran away, just like Bungie did! Why do my kitties keep running away, Miss Tia?"
Suppressing her bubbling rage at Tyn and disgust at what she was about to do next, Halibel opted to do the human thing and hugged child gently, trying to comfort her.
"I don't know, Emi… Maybe they just don't realize how lucky they are to have a loving home," she offered. "Don't give up on Slurpee yet, though; cats like to wander around, so maybe he'll come home in a little while. Try and stay positive, okay?"
Emi sniffled and forced a smile, thanking "Miss Halle Belle" before going back to her own apartment, leaving Tia still kneeling in the hall. She stood up slowly, balling her hands into tight fists as she stalked down the hall towards her apartment.
It was the end of the world for a certain red-headed, feather-brained, burger-flipping, cat-munching moron…
Maybe I should make dinner or order a pizza… Tyn thought to himself as he flipped through the television channels aimlessly; Halibel should be home soon, and coming home to find a hot meal waiting for her should put her in a better mood.
Not that her "good moods" ever seemed to last long, anyway.
His musing were shattered by the sound of the front door slamming and he turned to welcome his perpetually-angry roommate home with a forced smile, but she'd already covered the distance to the couch and clasped a hand around his throat tightly, hoisting him up into the air as he attempted to pry her fingers loose.
"What did I tell you last time?" she demanded. "What did I say after you ate Bungie? What did I say when the girl got Slurpee?"
Tyn opened his mouth to try and answer, but the death-grip on his throat prevented him from making any intelligible sounds.
"I warned you not to touch the stupid cat!" she roared in his face, "I told you what would happen if you pulled this crap again, didn't I?"
He was still unable to answer, to defend himself against her charges, but that didn't stop him from trying. Tia curled up her lip in disgust at his gurgling as he tried to speak before turning and tossing him across the room, knocking a lamp off the end table at the far end of the couch and shattering it against the floor.
"Tia, wait…" he wheezed, pushing himself back up to his knees as she stalked over to him. "I didn't—"
"Shut up!" she snarled, driving a foot into his midsection and forcing the wind from him. The quinto went rolling across the floor before coming to a stop against the wall, clutching his chest and coughing up a tiny bit of the gigai's fake blood.
"I didn't touch the stupid cat!" he managed to say finally as he tried to get back to his feet, but his claim only seemed to make her angrier as she grabbed a fistful of hair roughly and jerked his head back, and the searing pain left Tyn thinking that she had actually pulled out the entire clump of hair.
"Don't you dare lie to me…" she hissed in his face. "I know you, you moron. I know what goes on inside that savage little brain of yours."
She drew her other hand back, preparing to slam a fist into his face when mercifully, a knock at the door distracted her.
"Miss Halle Belle!" called a tiny voice from the other side, "Are you home? Miss Halle Belle!"
"Don't move a muscle…" she warned, dropping Tyn back to the ground as she straightened her clothes and hair before making her way over to the door, putting on the same fake smile she wore at the bar.
"Yes, Emi?" she asked as she opened the door, and then froze when she saw the girl standing their holding a fluffy white cat.
"I found him, Miss Halle Belle!" Emi announced cheerfully, "He was playing in the stairwell the whole time! Isn't that great?"
Halibel heard movement behind her and knew that Tyn was getting to his feet despite her warning and making his way over to gloat that she'd made a mistake.
"That's wonderful," she told Emi, the smile becoming more forced as Tyn moved to stand beside her.
"Mister Tyn, are you okay?" asked Emi, looking up as his disheveled form with concern.
"I'm fine…" he said, trying his best to force a smile as he glanced sideways at Tia. "I fell, that's all."
"You should be more careful…" Emi chided, wagging a finger at him "Mommy tells me to pick up all my toys so they don't trip me, and not to run indoors because that's a no-no."
"I'll keep that in mind…" he said dryly, never tearing his eyes away from Halibel as he debated his options.
"Anyway, I gotta go home now; mommy's making spaghetti for dinner! I just wanted to tell you I found Slurpee!" said Emi. Tia smiled and told her she was glad she'd found the cat and wished her goodbye before closing the door and turning to face Tyn, who was waiting expectantly with his arms folded across his chest.
"I'm not apologizing," Tia growled, looking him in the eye. "You probably would have done it eventually; just consider tonight a preview of what will happen if you do."
"Except I promised you last time that I wouldn't," he snarled. "You know that. I want to hear it, Tia. Even if you don't mean it, swallow your pride and just say it and we'll both be happier. It's just two little words."
"Fuck. You," she stated coolly.
"Only if you apologize," he quipped without thinking and Tia's eyes doubled in size at the shock of him suggesting such a thing. Before Tyn even had time to realize what was going on, she'd rammed another fist into his gut, forcing him to hunch over before then driving her knee upwards into his face.
Tyn crumpled to the floor holding his bloody nose as Tia swiftly turned and stormed off to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her hard enough to rattle the walls.
After a long moment, Tyn finally crawled back up to his feet and leaned heavily against the wall to brace himself as he spit out some blood, glaring daggers at Tia's closed door.
"Home, sweet Hell…"