It's 2:30 in the morning and Brennan's lying down on the cot, staring at Booth. The latter is awake, sitting up in the chair by his son's bedside, holding his hand. He still can't get his son's confession out of his head. He knows what it's like to wish you were dead which is making the fact that his son has been wishing he hadn't survived the accident even more painful. He sighs, leans forward, and brushes his thumb against his son's knuckles.
Brennan fights off a yawn and shifts, the mattress squeaking as a result.
Booth turns his head and quickly wipes away his tears. "Did I wake you up?"
"I wasn't sleeping, so logically you couldn't have woken me up, but you have been keeping me awake, albeit indirectly."
He shrugs. "How?"
"I'm worried about you and Parker." She pauses. "This is difficult for you, isn't it? I mean, not just because he's your son, but because you, you have personal experience in this area."
He sighs and turns back to Parker. "I know what it's like to feel this low, to feel like being alive is worse than being dead, and I hate that he feels like that. I wish there was a quick fix, you know? I wish I could just hug his hurt away, but I can't." He swats at more tears as they drip down his unshaven cheeks.
She kicks off the sheets and stands up. She sits on the arm of the chair and drapes her arm over his shoulders. "I'm sorry."
He nods, leaning forward and placing his head in his hands.
She rubs his back and lets out a sigh. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I think we should talk to Sweets."
He lifts his head and looks at her. "My kid doesn't need his head shrunk, Bones."
"I don't put too much stock in therapy, but Parker's been through a lot in the last two months, Booth. Change is a necessary and inevitable process, but this much change in such a short amount of time, cannot be good. In two months, he's gone from a normal sixteen year-old kid, living with his mom and seeing his dad one or two weekends a month, to being a normal sixteen year-old kid, recovering from injuries sustained during a car accident and now will be living with his dad full-time because his mother's dead. I think we should consider talking to Sweets, at least so he can recommend someone for Parker."
He blinks. Maybe she does have a point. "I thought you hated psychology, you know, 'cause you had to see so many shrinks when you were, after your parents left."
She nods. "Maybe I just didn't see the right one. Besides, I cannot compare my experience with the experience Parker may have. He's a different kid than I was and our situations are different, as well."
He shrugs.
"I'm just trying to do what's best for Parker, Booth. Sweets does make good points sometimes, and Dr. Wyatt helped you and helped us. My view of the profession has significantly shifted since I was fifteen. If it might help Parker heal mentally and emotionally, it's worth a try, right?"
He smiles at her. "Thanks for caring so much about Parker, Bones."
"He's like a son to me, Booth. I love him. There's nothing I wouldn't do to help him, even admitting that sometimes psychiatry and psychology are useful disciplines." She leans over, brushes her lips against his. She pulls back and smiles. "I'm willing to put my own feelings aside and see if this will help Parker. You should be willing to do the same."
He looks back at his son and sighs. "Maybe you're right. Maybe he does need to talk to someone, someone other than you or me, someone objective."
She squeezes his shoulder and yawns.
He looks up at her again and smiles.
"What?"
He shakes his head. "Nothing." He leans his head against her side and closes his eyes.
She slides her fingers through his hair and looks down at him. "I just want you to know that you're an excellent father, Booth," she whispers. She's told him that more than once over the years, but she feels, for some reason, that he needs to hear it now.
"Thanks, Bones." He shifts on the chair and looks up at her. "And you're a great mom—to Christine and Parker."
She smiles.
He rests his head against her thigh and closes his eyes again. Before he knows it, he drifts off to sleep with her running her fingers through his hair.
She doesn't notice right away because her focus has switched from him to Parker. She watches the teenager sleep, knowing, from how it's been since they told him the news of his mother's death, that he'll soon wake up screaming.
Brennan wakes up around nine, wrapped in Booth's embrace, sitting on his lap and her head resting comfortably on his shoulder. She's not entirely sure how she ended up in his lap, but she's not complaining. She moves slightly, his arms shifting as well. She lifts her head and rubs the sleep from her eyes. She looks at him closely, his eyes not focused on her. He looks tired, like he's aged ten years in the last two months. His eyes are bloodshot and his stubble is turning into a full blown beard. She runs her finger along his clenched jaw and sighs. "Booth."
Booth's eyes twitch, but he never loses focus of his son. He subconsciously pushes at her T-shirt and skims his thumb across her hipbone. Her soft, warm skin proves to be of some comfort because he lets out a breath, his shoulders dropping.
She shivers and runs her fingers through his hair, her nails grazing his scalp. "Booth?" It takes her calling his name three more times before he finally turns his head and lifts his eyes to meet hers. She smiles. "Good morning," she whispers, leaning down to kiss him on the lips.
He turns away at the last minute, causing her to kiss his cheek.
She can't pretend that that doesn't hurt, even if his reaction has less to do with her and more to do with his emotional state following Parker's confession from yesterday and the teenager's early morning terror, which was considerably worse today than it has been. She starts to get up, figuring that maybe he, too, like his son, needs some space, but his arm shoots out and tugs her back, so she sits down, giving him a kiss on the cheek, an intentional one this time. "He seems to be sleeping soundly. That's good."
Booth barely hears her. He can't get his son's screams, heavy breaths, deep, agonizing groans, and suicidal confession out of his head. He wasn't even in the accident and he's starting to see images of it.
She squeezes his shoulder and kisses him again, letting her lips linger against his temple. She pulls back and sighs. "He's going to be okay, Booth. This is just a setback."
"I don't want to let him out of my sight, Bones. When he's released from the hospital, I don't think I'll be able to do anything but sit there and stare at him, watch him at all times, to make sure he's not gonna, not gonna—."
She nods. "I'm worried about him, as well, Booth. I don't want you to think that I don't. I know I say that he's going to be fine, but there are times that I have doubts. Not for physiological reasons because he is improving, and all his scans suggest that with practice, he'll keep getting stronger. I mean for emotional and psychological reasons."
He smiles at her. "I know you're worried about him, Bones. I know you're not only here for me. I love you even more knowing that you care so much about him. You've always cared about him, even before we were officially together. I'll never doubt that—ever."
She touches the side of his face with her hand and presses her lips against his cheek, kissing away tears. She smiles and pulls back. "We'll get him through this, Booth."
He nods.
She sees his face fall just slightly, his eyes shifting back to Parker. She closes her eyes and places her hand on his shoulder. Her mind drifts back to the conversation she had with Angela a couple weeks ago. You know what would get him out of his funk? Proposing to him. She swallows. "Booth?"
The apprehension in her voice is apparent and it makes Booth turn his head towards her. "What's wrong, Bones?"
She's confused as to why he would ask her that until she touches her cheek and realizes she's crying. She shakes her head and reassures him. "I'm fine." She pauses. "I have to ask you something."
He straightens defensively. Her telling him she has to ask him something is never a good sign. Usually she just comes right out and asks.
When he doesn't say anything, she continues. "Something's been on my mind for a while now, for months, and this thing has come up again recently and I can't stop thinking about it."
Now he's getting even more nervous and to be honest, a little scared, so much so that he can't seem to speak.
"I—."
Christine runs into the room and over to the bed. "Mommy, daddy!"
Booth immediately holds his finger against his lips. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out, trying to remove the worry from his eyes, his voice, and his posture for the sake of his little girl. "Shhh, baby. Parker's sleeping."
Christine steps back and drops her head. "Sorry, daddy," she whispers.
Booth smiles. "Where's Max?"
"Gampa's coming, daddy. He's just slow. He's old, you know, daddy."
Booth laughs and nods. "Yeah, I know, princess." He looks at Brennan, almost forgetting she was about to say something. "Did you want to ask me something, Bones?"
Brennan shakes her head. "Never mind. It can wait."
"You sure?"
Brennan nods. "Yes." She gets off his lap and scoops Christine up, giving the little girl a kiss before setting her down on Booth's lap in her place. She gives Booth a smile and disappears into the bathroom, just a little bit grateful for the interruption.
Thanks guys, you rock!
A/N: Do you like the daily updates or should I slow down? (I'm pretty sure this is a stupid question, but I thought I'd ask it anyway)
*Hint: In the next chapter, Brennan has a little talk with Christine about what's going on with Parker and what's to come
:)