Sometimes I feel as if I'm losing my mind. As if everything I want to do is stuck in that space of everything I can't do. Particularly, moving forward. I don't like the idea of it. I don't want to face the fact that everything I do from now on till the day I die will never include Charlie.

I can't even bring myself to move out of his house, or even leave it for any extended period of time.

I guess that's why Mike was so worried when I walked in, hair a tangled mess with flowers woven in between the strands, at dawn just as he was getting ready for work.

"Bella." He smiled looking up at me, worry etched in every line on his face, his stare cold and surprized. "Where have you been?"

"Just," I thought for a moment eyes dropping to the floor. "Out."

He laughed and I turned sharply to enter the living room, anywhere to escape his stare. I was sure I had a lot of unread messages to attend to, a lot of questions to answer. I lot of things to forget. I wanted to forget everything in my head. I wanted to forget my father, the man who raised me to be strong and care for everything. I wanted to forget about Jacob, my childhood best friend who lived so close and yet so far away, who was always there to protect me. I wanted to forget Mike, the guy who took over my whole life after I had almost taken it away after my father had left me. I wanted to forget the boy I kept meeting in the woods, so mysterious and beautiful and breathtaking. More importantly I wanted to forget myself, a helpless little girl who ran away from everything and yet remained un-moving and unchanging in a world that was constantly moving and changing around her.

"Is she okay?" I heard Mike ask as the door creaked open. I could imagine Jacob walking in, his arms stuffed with pillows. I merely closed my eyes and sprawled out across the couch, my arm over my face as to block the light from my eyes.

"I'm sure she is." Jacob huffed and I heard his footsteps enter the living room and then retreat up the steps. I rolled over and grabbed my laptop form the coffee table. I flipped it open and the screen blinked to life. I looked over the usual questions but none from E, the person I had secretly been hoping had responded. I slammed it shut as I heard footsteps coming down the steps and laid back across the couch.

"Your sure?"

"I think so, I mean she was fine yesterday."

"You think so?" Mike was getting an attitude. "I spend everyday worrying about her and your just guessing that she's fine?"

"Your not the only one worried about her?" Jacob growled.

"Can you both just stop talking about me!" I yelled from the living room. I threw myself up and stormed up the steps. Flopping down on my bed and placing my elbows on my knees. I covered my face with my hands, pushing them back and pushing all the hair away from my face with a low sigh. I hated that they both worried so much, I hated that they argued, and I hated that I couldn't do anything to fix that. Although I couldn't blame them from being worried.

When Charlie had first gone away I had spent four days wondering the woods. Jacob found me laying in the grass crying. It took me another five weeks to get out of my bedroom. I was a mess. I was still a mess and I could still hear them arguing down the steps.

"They sure like to yell a lot." That tinkling laugh echoed from my window and my head snapped up to see him leaning against the windowsill, his golden eyes half mocking me, dancing with his laugh. I felt my mouth lift into a smile, I had been hoping to see him, craving him.

"How did you get in here?"

"Through the window." His half-smile pulled a little higher. "They're wrong you know."

"Huh?"

"Your not helpless." He pushed himself forward and sat next to me on the bed. "Your actually quite strong."

"I'm not sure about all that."

"I know it."

"How do you know?" We were staring in each others eyes. I could feel his breath on my skin, his mouth so close to mine.

"I can just tell." He leaned back away from me. "Trust me."

"I don't even know who you are."

"You want to know who I am?"

"Of course!" I jumped forward at him and he laughed.

"Calm down killer." He stood up from the bed and made a wide circle around my room, taking everything in. "My name is Edward."

"Edward." I tasted his name with my tongue. "Edward."

"Yes." He laughed his tinkling laugh and I smiled again, a faint blush covering my cheeks, he was back at the window gazing out once more. "But you can call me prince charming."

It was my turn to laugh. "Prince charming, huh?"

"I do like the sound of that." He smiled back at me.

"Bella!" Jacobs feet pounded up the steps. My gaze snapped from Edward to the door which smashed open, my eyes widened. "Lets get out of here!"

"Get out of here?" I looked back at the window, only to see nothing. Edward had vanished as quickly as he had come.

"What are you looking at?"

"N-nothing." I stuttered turning my eyes back to Jacob. "What do you mean get out of here?"

"I don't know why you stay with that…that douche."

"He's my friend."

"I don't know why." Jacob plopped down on the bed. "I wish you would have just left with me when you had the chance."

I laughed. "I'm happy here."

"Your not happy." I thought for a moment about the boy who had just been here, how he made me laugh, and smile, and feel.

"I'm as happy as I've ever been, right now, then I have been in a long time."

"Really?" His eyes lit up and he leaned in close, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Yeah."

He slipped his hand around mine, it was so warm and rough. "I'm glad."