The War of Light and Shadow
By Freddie23
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Tolkien created.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who has left a review and for your encouragement in getting me out of my writer's block. I am getting back to normal, although it's the most frustrating thing!
Here's the next chapter at long last. Apologies for the delay and enjoy.
OIOI
Chapter 11
Provider
Aragorn was watching Legolas closely as the Elf looked out over the slow-moving, murky water, deep in thought. The boy sat with forced patience by the side of the river, fiddling idly with the rough handle of the dagger Legolas now allowed him to carry all the time.
A moment later, Legolas turned and moved to sit next to him.
"Well?" Aragorn prompted, looking over at his companion expectantly.
Legolas sighed deeply and ran his hands down his face. "I don't know."
"You said you knew a way across."
"There used to be a bridge."
Aragorn looked up and down the river, and stated the obvious, "There's not a bridge now."
"Yes, thank you, I can see that."
"So, what now?"
"We find another way across."
"How?"
Raking his fingers through his hair, Legolas admitted, "I don't know."
"Are you alright?" Aragorn asked with a frown, looking over at the Elf.
"Yes." Legolas just longed to reach Lothlorien. Now that they were close, he was desperate to be back in the Elven community, to get help with the enormous task he'd been left with in the form of Aragorn. He was so close and yet the river now stood in their way. Frustration was making him annoyed.
"We could walk along the bank for a bit, see if there's another bridge," Aragorn suggested, trying to be helpful.
"There isn't," Legolas answered shortly.
"We could at least look…"
"Aragorn," the Elf sighed, exasperated.
"Sorry. I'm only trying to help."
"I know," Legolas groaned, knowing fully well that he shouldn't be snapping at the boy. It wasn't Aragorn's fault that they were stuck. "Alright. Let's go."
"Go where?"
"To walk the river until we can find a way across."
The way Legolas said this, as if it had been his idea all along, frustrated Aragorn to no end and yet he bit his tongue and got up to follow the Elf without comment. For a long time, they followed the path of the river. Aragorn was curious about it; he'd never seen such an enormous mass of water. Legolas, however, barely looked across to the woods that lay beyond the murky grey waters. It seemed to Aragorn that the Elf was almost saddened by the waters.
When Aragorn finally dared to voice this thought to the Elf, Legolas had answered honestly.
"This place has changed a lot since last I was here," he told the young man, his voice carrying a touch of melancholy. "When I last came upon the Anduin it flowed fast and clear. The lands sang of its strength and power. It sustained so many of my kin and brought such joy to so many." He sighed sadly, eyes gazing mistily over the deep, polluted water. "But now…" He looked away with a sombre shake of his head.
"Did you used to come here a lot?"
Legolas smiled then as the memories of the past were brought to the surface. "Relations between our peoples were good – periodically. I came here as an emissary often enough to know the lands well."
"Emissary?" Aragorn asked of the unfamiliar word.
"A political messenger for my home."
"I thought you were a warrior."
"I was many things. My duties varied." Aragorn nodded for Legolas to continue, interested in this rare glimpse into his guardian's past life. "I would come here in the summer whenever I was able, meet with the Galadhrim - the mighty warriors and guardians of the Golden Wood - and we would swim in the river and sing amongst the Mallorn trees. It was wondrous, Aragorn. Beauty unsurpassed. And this Great River was its life source."
Aragorn had never heard such distant melancholy in Legolas' voice before. The Elf had never shown this wistful side of himself before and it brought a sad pang to his heart to hear. He wondered if Legolas had ever spoken of this to another – or for that matter if he had even ever travelled with anyone else. Given his reluctance to take on the guardianship of Aragorn in the first place, he very much doubted it. Was that what made Legolas the way he was – quiet and withdrawn – the fading memories of old haunting his every moment as he travelled dead lands that had once brimmed with vibrant life? Was this what had made the Elf so terribly lonely?
"What's wrong?" Legolas asked, turning when he realised Aragorn had stopped.
Swallowing thickly, Aragorn smiled and assured, "Nothing." He stepped closer to the Elf, who frowned down at him as he continued to stare. But he wasn't going to speak with Legolas about this. Some things he knew would be going too far and Legolas would not abide discussing the past in too much detail, particularly in a personal way.
"What's the matter with you all of a sudden?"
Aragorn shook his head in reply and averted his eyes back to the river, avoiding the query.
"Very well, strange one, let's go."
Legolas led the boy along the river, more than a little disconcerted that Aragorn now walked in sullen silence, seemingly lost in thought. Surprisingly, Legolas had gotten rather used to the man's incessant questioning and chattering over the past couple of months and now in its absence, he found that he actually missed it and hated the silence that replaced it.
That dreadful aching ever-present in his heart was growing worse, and had been doing so since he stepped off the familiar road and blindly headed for Lorien, and he longed for Aragorn's bubbly excitement and insatiable curiosity to distract him from it once more. Too many memories, painfully good memories, came back to him as he looked upon the familiar, tainted though it was by the darkness of the Shadow.
In truth, Legolas considered that this quiet was a bad start to their journey to Lothlorien. He'd hoped – perhaps futilely – to be greeted at the Anduin by the Galadhrim as he had been so many times in the past. But the place he now walked was long dead. His instincts screamed at him to go no further, that he would not find what he searched for here. And yet a small part of his mind desperately sought guidance from someone he had trusted once. Or perhaps he just wanted to believe that those things he missed so much could be with him once again.
Legolas pushed his charge harder than usual, walking along the riverside at as fast a pace as they could manage. Night fell and Aragorn looked up to Legolas, hoping to pause for the night but Legolas looked so intent that he didn't say anything. Sighing in resignation, Aragorn realised that he wasn't going to get any rest that night.
OIOI
"Can we stop yet?" Aragorn whined in a childlike manner, stomping behind the Elf.
"Not yet," Legolas replied shortly, not so much as glancing back at his ward.
"But I'm tired."
"Another few minutes and we can stop."
"You said that hours ago."
"Aragorn," Legolas shouted, whirling around to face the boy, anger etched on his features. "I said we would stop soon. Stop complaining and keep moving," he commanded darkly, sounding very much like the discontented Legolas Aragorn vividly remembered from his childhood.
"Sorry," Aragorn mumbled, shuffling his feet forwards after Legolas had turned and started striding forward.
As he walked onwards, Legolas was acutely aware of Aragorn sulkily slinking after him. He tried, at first, to ignore it, not wanting to give into the boy's mood but the constant, overly dramatic sighing from behind him was grating on his nerves and when Aragorn let out a soft moan, Legolas rolled his eyes and stopped short.
"What are you doing?" Aragorn asked as he nearly barrelled straight into the back of the stationary Elf.
"Stopping."
"Oh. Alright then."
Aragorn dumped his bag down on the ground and plopped himself down after it. When Legolas did not copy the action, Aragorn craned his neck to look up at the tall Elf.
"What's wrong?" the young man asked.
"Nothing's wrong," Legolas told him shortly. "I'm going to go hunting."
"Now?"
"Yes."
"It's midmorning and we've been walking all day."
"You're hungry, aren't you?"
"Well, yes but…" Aragorn couldn't help but notice that so far Legolas had not looked him in the eyes once. Surely the Elf was not genuinely upset at his whining.
"Then I'll go get you something to eat."
"Should I come with you?"
"That would rather defeat the purpose of pausing to rest, wouldn't it?" It wasn't said in annoyance but rather vague amusement, which surprised the boy a little. "Stay here. I'll be back soon."
Before Aragorn had a chance to protest, Legolas had strolled off, bow in his hands. Too tired to start worrying about yet another odd change in his guardian, Aragorn lay down on his back and closed his eyes wearily.
He must have been asleep for some time as when he opened his eyes, evening was drawing in and Legolas had joined him once again, obviously having returned from his hunting trip. There was no fire on the go so Aragorn presumed that the hunting had not gone well. The dark look remained on the Elf's face but Aragorn knew he wouldn't be able to fool the Elf into believing that he was still asleep. So he sat up, squinting over at Legolas, who was sat on the ground, methodically sharpening his knives. He did not look up at Aragorn.
"No luck?" the boy asked to break the silence.
"No."
"Alright," Aragorn sighed. Legolas' mood had definitely not improved during his walk. "I'm not hungry anyway."
Legolas exchanged his knife over to his other hand, reached down and picked up a piece of wrapped cloth, which he then tossed to the boy. "Berries," he explained as Aragorn caught it.
Quickly tugging the knot open, Aragorn eagerly tucked into the berries. "Oh, I've starving." Legolas nodded but went back to sharpening his knives. "Do you want some?" Aragorn offered, holding out package, which now contained only a dozen or so berries.
For the first time since Aragorn had woken up, Legolas met Aragorn's eyes and the boy saw something in the blue depths that he'd never seen before and that he did not recognise. Before he could even attempt to make out what it was though, the expression faded into one of gratitude; clearly faked.
"No, thank you," Legolas answered with a seemingly forced smile.
"Aren't you hungry?" Aragorn asked, chewing thoughtfully.
"I've had some already."
This struck Aragorn as strange. Usually Legolas would not eat without him.
"Really?"
"Yes. While you slept," Legolas assured with another, this time more genuine smile. "Finish your food."
Aragorn obediently did as he was told, chewing more thoughtfully on his gathered food now, his eyes fixed upon the slouching form of Legolas. The Elf's face still held that unusual melancholy look, as if lost in a sad, far distant memory. It was starting to frustrate Aragorn because he had never seen such a look in his guardian before yesterday. Dour, miserable, annoyed Legolas he understood all too well but this sad Legolas, he couldn't even begin to fathom. He had no clue how to deal with Legolas when he was like this.
"Are you alright?" Aragorn asked after a while of uncomfortable silence.
"I'm fine," the Elf answered, reaching down and picking up his flask, taking a long swig of water. "Did you sleep well?"
"Really well."
"I'm glad."
Aragorn nodded in distraction. "I'm sorry about earlier. I was just tired."
"How are your feet?" Legolas asked, dodging the comment as if it had never been spoken.
"Excuse me?"
"Earlier you said your feet hurt. Do they feel better now?"
"Oh." In truth, he'd just been petulantly complaining about that so Legolas would consent to stopping to rest for a while. He hadn't really meant it. He was surprised that Legolas had taken his complaints on board and was now seemingly concerned about this mild, common discomfort. "They feel fine now, thank you."
"Good. We should wash in the river when daylight comes, maybe do our clothes too if it's warm enough tomorrow."
"Um, alright," Aragorn agreed with increasing confusion. Legolas often considered it to be too dangerous to stop by the river and unclothe for the length of time it would take to wash their clothing thoroughly.
Legolas nodded and Aragorn watched as he took another long drink from his canteen. He just could not place what exactly had changed in his Elven guardian. Yes, Legolas was in a bad mood – that much was perfectly obvious – but that he was trying so hard not to appear to be in a foul mood was what worried Aragorn. Normally, when Legolas was annoyed at the boy he made positively certain that he knew it.
"Can I have some?" Aragorn asked, nodding toward the flask that Legolas was once more drinking from.
Legolas looked up at him as if in surprise then handed the now almost empty flask to the boy. "Of course."
"Is this from the river?" Aragorn asked as he peered at the water.
"No, the river water is too polluted to drink. There's another, cleaner source nearby. I found it whilst I was out hunting."
Aragorn nodded, drinking what remained of the water. Once he'd had his fill, he looked up and asked, "Do you think the river's safe to bathe in then?"
"Probably not," Legolas replied simply, having already gone back to sharpening his knives.
The boy frowned and pointed out, "So it's not a good idea to wash our clothes in the water either, is it?"
"Of course not. It's far too dangerous here anyway. You should know that."
"But…You just said…" Legolas looked up quizzically at him and Aragorn scoffed, shrugging his shoulders. He wasn't going to argue, it wasn't worth the energy considering he was bound to lose. "Whatever you say," he sighed in defeat but it seemed his guardian had lost all interest.
That dreadful, tense silence that Aragorn despised so much fell between them once more, although as usual it didn't seem to bother Legolas in the least. In fact, the Elf looked so deep in thought that Aragorn wondered if he was even aware of the atmosphere the man felt was engulfing them both.
A while later, Legolas' hand reached out for the canteen of water again, lifting it to his lips. When he tipped the flask all the way up though, only a small dribble of water trickled out.
"Damn," he cursed angrily, startling Aragorn.
"What?"
"We're out of water. Did you finish it off?"
"Sorry." Aragorn shrugged apologetically. "There wasn't much left anyway."
Tossing his knives aside with what Aragorn interpreted to be usually careless anger, Legolas hauled himself to his feet with more effort than his human companion had ever seen before.
"Where are you going?" Aragorn asked, getting up at the same time.
"To get more water."
Aragorn bent down and pulled their second flask out of his own travel bag and offered to the retreating Legolas, "Here, you can have some of mine."
The Elf turned sharply to look at him and frowned. "Where did you get that?" he demanded, trouncing back towards his charge.
"It's been in my bag, where it always is, the whole time."
Reaching the boy, Legolas snatched the flask from Aragorn's hand before taking another long drink. In between gulping down the water, he snapped, "I go out of my way to provide for you and you won't even share your water with me."
"What is the matter with you?" Aragorn demanded, angry at being accused of something so mean.
Legolas drained the flask and raised his eyes to meet Aragorn's, at last having the good grace to look apologetic for his words. Slightly out of breath, Legolas wiped his mouth on his sleeve.
"I'm sorry," the Elf finally said, quickly averting his eyes as though in shame.
"Legolas…"
The guardian turned around and bent to snatch up his own abandoned flask then straightened and looked back to Aragorn. "I'll be back in a moment."
"Where are you going now?"
"To refill the flasks."
Aragorn went to follow him, saying, "I'll come with you."
"No, you stay here with the things."
"Well then, I'll go and you stay here," Aragorn offered, going to take the flasks from the Elf.
Legolas, however, took a step backwards, almost as if he was suddenly afraid of his young charge. "I can manage. It'll be getting dark soon anyway and I know where there's a clean source." Stepping away again, Legolas offered the boy a smile, albeit a slightly nervous one. "Don't worry I'll be back before you…"
"Legolas!"
The prince heard Aragorn exclaim his name loudly in panic but for a moment he couldn't for the life of him think of the cause of such an exclamation. Then, as if a delayed reaction, his world suddenly blurred. When it came back into focus, he realised he was now stood being awkwardly propped up by his teenage ward. Feeling a wave of dizziness wash over him, he closed his eyes and tried to fight the unnerving sensation that he was falling from a great height.
Surprisingly, it was Aragorn's voice that brought him back to earth. "Legolas?" the boy cried, grasping Legolas' jacket to keep him from tipping over. "Legolas, what's wrong?"
After taking a steadying breath, Legolas opened his eyes again, pleased to find that the landscape was no longer swaying dizzyingly. Realising that he was still leaning against Aragorn, who had a very worried expression on his face, Legolas straightened himself out slowly, carefully.
"Are you alright?" Aragorn asked anxiously, not letting go of his guardian for fear that he may topple again.
Forcing a shaky smile to his pale lips, Legolas swallowed thickly, his hand remaining conspicuously on Aragorn's shoulder for support. "I'm fine," he answered, pleased by how steady his voice sounded.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing's wrong. You just…just, um, go and…" Unable to keep his train of thought long enough to string a sentence together, Legolas rubbed his forehead, trying to ground himself again.
"Legolas? You're scaring me," Aragorn confessed softly, resting his hand against Legolas' chest, worried that his guardian was going to fall over again; he was once more swaying a little on the spot.
"Sorry. No. I'm fine." Breathing deeply once more, Legolas smiled reassuringly – or at least what he hoped was reassuringly. "Really."
Aragorn nodded, slowly removing his hand. "Are you sure?"
"Uh, of course." As he moved his eyes down to Aragorn's though, the world blurred in front of him again and he felt himself fall once more against Aragorn, who caught him with little effort, having anticipated it this time.
"Legolas!" Aragorn exclaimed in horror.
Gripping the sleeve of Aragorn's jacket to brace himself against falling to his knees, Legolas said in a quaking voice, "I think…maybe I just need..." His concentration span impossibly short, Legolas trailed off.
"Need what?" Aragorn asked desperately, searching for anything to help his apparently ailing guardian.
Blinking slowly, Legolas forced himself to finish, "I just need to sit for a minute."
"Yes, sit." Annoyed at himself for not thinking of that simple solution by himself, Aragorn took the crook of Legolas' arm and helped him to sit on the ground. Crouching down beside the Elf, his gaze firmly on Legolas' face, he asked, "Legolas?" tearfully.
Laying his slightly shaking hand against Aragorn's arm, Legolas smiled gently. "It's alright, Aragorn. I'm fine."
"What is wrong?"
"I just got a little dizzy, that's all."
Truthfully, it was more than that. The dizziness blurring his vision and making his aching stomach churn ominously. Of course, this was not the first time he had experienced this, although he hadn't felt quite so bad for a while now.
The stabbing pain shooting through his stomach was a dead give-away as to the cause.
"What can I do?" Aragorn asked desperately, feeling the need to do something.
Feeling the nausea rising in his throat and worried by the possibility that he may very well start retching in front of his already frightened young charge, Legolas suggested thickly, "Why don't you go and get some more water?"
"Water? Yes, of course. I'll get you some more water." Scrambling up onto his feet, Aragorn started rushing around to pick up the flasks that Legolas had dropped.
"Just go about…"
"Don't worry; I'll find it," Aragorn assured quickly.
"And it's getting dark so…"
"I'll be right back. You just rest." Almost tripping over himself in his haste to do something useful, Aragorn ordered, "Don't move."
Legolas watched as the boy disappeared through the veil of bare trees that lined the bank of the river and, as soon as the man was safely out of sight, Legolas bent forwards, wrapping his arm around his middle, face scrunching up in pain. The queasiness manifested itself a moment later and he brought up a good deal of the water he had drunk earlier.
Tears stung his eyes but fortunately the sickness didn't continue for too long and after a moment, gasping for air, he managed to straighten. Spitting out the bitter taste in his mouth, Legolas then shuffled away from the mess and collapsed to the ground.
Not wanting Aragorn to return and see him in this state, Legolas wiped his eyes and face with the sleeves of his jacket, trying to pull himself together. The last thing he wanted was to panic Aragorn any further. He looked spooked enough as it was. Legolas knew that this 'illness' was not serious though. After weeks with virtually no food, it was only to be expected. That combined with that ever-present deep ache of grief in his chest made him feel utterly miserable and tonight it had all caught up with him. It was his own fault, he supposed. At this time of the year, when the world was all but devoid of any vegetation, thus it became nearly impossible to forage or hunt, Legolas found that it became very difficult to feed one person let alone two and so he had provided all he could for the growing boy in his care, leaving next to nothing for himself. At first it had been easy to bear; he was used to being hungry to the point of starvation, but it seemed that he was finally floored by the lack of nutrition this night.
Of course, he would never let Aragorn know that. The boy didn't need to worry about his health.
"I'm back," Legolas heard Aragorn announce from behind him and he cursed himself for not keeping an eye out for the boy's return.
"Are you alright?" Aragorn asked, coming around to the front of Legolas.
The Elf smiled reassuringly at his compassion and answered, "I'm feeling a lot better already."
Aragorn nodded but he still seemed anxious as he knelt on the ground before his guardian. "I brought you some more water."
"Thank you."
"Legolas?"
The Elf looked up into nervous grey eyes, filled with questions, then held out his hand for Aragorn to take, which the boy did, shifting closer. "I'm fine, Aragorn. I promise." The boy swallowed thickly but nodded. "You lie down and get some sleep; it's nearly dark."
"But you need to rest too."
"I will." Legolas laid his hand against the boy's cheek. "Go lie down. We'll leave in the morning for Lorien; then everything will be fine."
"Alright." Aragorn climbed to his feet and went to dig through their bags. He found their blanket and shook it out before returning to Legolas. "But you're taking the blanket tonight," he insisted.
"I don't need it," Legolas protested, holding up his hand to stop Aragorn from laying it over him.
"Neither do I, so you might as well take it."
"Aragorn…"
"Stop being stubborn," the boy snapped, sounding very much like Legolas himself in his severity. When Legolas did not protest further, Aragorn draped the holey blanket over the Elf.
"As you wish," the Elf sighed in submission.
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Aragorn. Sleep well."
But Aragorn did not sleep well. As night fell, he found that he couldn't drift off easily as he usually could. For a long time, he lay with his eyes closed tight, trying to sleep but he found himself straining his hearing, listening out for Legolas. He had never seen his guardian at all unwell before. Legolas was strong, immortal, and untouchable by the ailments that Aragorn himself had suffered over the years and to see him otherwise was downright scary. After all, it had been through illness that his father had died; he didn't want his foster parent to be lost to him also.
Trying to think of ways to help his guardian kept Aragorn up later still. He tried to think back to the last time he himself was ill – last year when he had come down with a cold. He remembered Legolas holding him up when he couldn't lie flat without inducing a coughing fit, laying a damp cloth on his fevered forehead and offering condolences and platitudes that the dreadful feeling would soon pass and all would be well once more. It had not been like their first couple of years together when Legolas had been seemingly terrified whenever Aragorn had become ill with the natural sicknesses of Men. Now the Elf was well-practiced in the art of taking care of the sick human boy.
Aragorn did not think that Legolas would suffer any of that to be done to himself though. And if he was honest with himself, Aragorn would feel horribly uncomfortable even trying.
A shuffling from behind him made Aragorn suddenly freeze, straining his hearing even further. When he heard a very soft, stifled moan and further shuffling, Aragorn sat up and looked over in the dark towards the Elf, who was struggling to stand up.
"Legolas?" the boy asked, squinting to see the Elf. "Where are you going?"
Legolas looked over at him, apparently surprised that the boy was still awake. "Nowhere. Go back to sleep."
The Elf got to his feet, swaying only slightly, but Aragorn did not do as he was told but instead watched. "Do you want me to help you?" he asked.
With a short chuckle, Legolas replied, "No thank you."
"What are you doing?"
"Going to the trees."
"What for?"
In a soft voice, Legolas explained delicately, "I have drunk a lot of water this night, Aragorn." He smiled at the boy's embarrassed silence. "Do you still wish to follow me?"
"No."
"I thought not. I'll be back in a moment."
Legolas walked shakily away from Aragorn, aware of the boy's eyes on him. He was also aware that the boy had been listening out for him all night, so he had remained silent, hoping to give the impression that he was peacefully asleep; that is until the call of nature became impossible to ignore.
Although still feeling a little light-headed, Legolas did feel a lot better than before. He could at least stand up on his own, which he had been reluctant to do earlier for fear of failure. But, luckily, he was now just about able to walk steadily.
Walking over to the line of barren trees, Legolas relieved his full bladder then leaned back against the trunk of one of the sad-looking trees. He felt nothing from these bare trees, not even pain. They were completely dead and although he had felt it hundreds of times before, the silence still hurt him, for he loved the trees above all and would have given anything to hear them sing to him one last time.
Taking a deep breath, Legolas bowed his head. It wasn't simply the lack of food that was getting to him. It was this place also. Even here, on the very edge of Lothlorien, there were too many memories that made his heart ache in his chest even more; even to the point where he could think of nothing else. He wondered if telling Aragorn this would make him more or less worried. But the point was moot, as he didn't have the heart to even focus his own mind on the past, let alone speak of it to another. Besides, the boy didn't need to hear Legolas' burdens. What with the revelations about his own future, Aragorn had enough on his mind. No, he couldn't ease Aragorn's worries by telling the truth.
Realising that the boy would soon be worrying about him, Legolas pushed himself wearily away from the empty shell of the tree he'd been leant against and returned to their campsite, thinking that perhaps he would be able to get some sleep this night after all. When he returned, he found that Aragorn had lain back down and he went to face him to find that the boy had fallen asleep in his absence.
Legolas couldn't help but smile softly. He picked up the blanket that Aragorn had forced him to take earlier and instead draped the thin material over the thin frame of his ward.
In the deep darkness, Legolas sighed heavily as he sat near the child under his care. Tomorrow would be a brand new start and he was determined to reach Lothlorien's forest before another night fell.
To Be Continued…