First Date

"What do you mean you have a date?"

Tia winced underneath her roommate's tone as she stood at the bathroom sink, washing her face as he stood in the doorway, watching her and seething in anger. She'd had nearly a week to find a way to break the news to him gently, but somehow time had escaped her and it was now Friday evening, closing in on six o'clock.

"A date, as in I'm going out with a man for dinner tonight," she replied, trying to maintain control of the situation. "Believe me, I'm no happier about the situation than you are."

"Then don't go!" shouted Tyn, his fingers flexing as if he wanted to strangle something or someone. It was, in retrospect, a good thing she agreed to meet her as-of-yet nameless date at The Oasis rather than having him swing by the apartment and risk being murdered by Tyn.

"This is normal human behavior, moron!" she hissed in his face, drawing so close that their noses brushed against each other before backing away slightly, her cheeks blushing for a split second at the contact. "Humans are expected to go on dates periodically, especially when they're single and someone of the opposite sex shows interest!"

"But…he's human!" exclaimed the redhead, clutching handfuls of his crimson hair as if he were about to yank them out.

"…and?"

"Human!" Tyn stated again as if that one word explained everything. "As in, not one of us! Jesus, Tia, if you two do anything, you'll break him in half—"

"And just what are you implying?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him and curling an angry fist out of habit as she suppressed the urge to hit him. "Do you honestly think for one second that I'd just hop into bed with a human? That I'm some hopeless slut who drops her panties after a single date?"

"Not at all…" said Tyn defensively, holding his hands up in an almost-submissive gesture to the menacing tercera. "I'm just saying that if anything were to happen, you're far, far stronger."

"It won't," said Halibel icily, turning away from him and stalking into her room to finish getting dressed, slamming the door behind her.

"And even if it did," she called out after a moment's hesitation, "it's none of your concern!"

"Why are you being like this?" he asked softly through the door, and Halibel could hear him gently place his palm flat against the wood as he waited for her to answer.

Tia adjusted her blue blouse and sighed, feeling a pang of guilt that she knew shouldn't be there. To Tyn, she knew this was a betrayal, that she was turning to an outsider rather than a member of the 'pack,' and she was also keenly aware that he was, in his own bizarre way, looking out for her.

After all, the ease of which she could accidentally harm or kill a human during intimacy had not escaped her.

Not that she intended for anything to go that far, but as a warrior she had learned to consider all possible outcomes.

"Why are you?" she asked back quietly, going over to the door and placing her own hand against it, mimicking him.

"I just want what's best for you…" Tyn answered slowly, "and a human isn't what's best. They're weak, they're fleshy, they're mortal, Tia; their world is defined by their stupid hearts and all the irrational thoughts and emotions that come with the damnedable thing."

"You almost sound jealous," she observed, her voice barely a whisper. Her keen ears heard him stiffen at the accusation on the other side of the door.

"Ridiculous; why would I possibly be jealous?" asked Tyn curtly as he pulled away from the other side of the wooden door finally. "I'm just looking out for the safety of the pack."

"Of course…" said Halibel pleasantly, opening the door and stepping back out into the living room. "How silly of me for thinking otherwise."

"No need to be sarcastic about it," growled the raptor, folding his arms over his chest and turning away from her.

"Don't get so worked up over it; it's just one stupid date, Tyn. I'm meeting him at six and I expect to be home by eight-thirty. Nine, at the latest," said Tia, trying to reassure him. "And afterwards, I'll be able to hide behind the excuse that it just didn't work out and I'm not ready to start dating again for a while."

"Why does it have to be a human?" asked Tyn finally, turning around. "Why not one of us for this little charade?"

"Like you, you mean?"

"No!" he exclaimed quickly, "I mean like Starrk or Ulquiorra or Grimmjow…okay, maybe not Grimmjow, but still you could easily do this little act with one of us and convince your stupid friends that you're normal."

"First off," said Halibel as she put on her coat, "my friends are not stupid; they're just…human."

"That's what I said," Tyn shot back.

"Furthermore, none of you were there at the time and this guy was."

"So? You could have lied and said you were already dating someone!"

"And then they'd have asked to meet him!" explained Tia, "What if I said I was dating Starrk and he refused to go along with it? Or Ulquiorra; you know he'd never go along with such 'nonsense' as pretending to be dating."

"Then what about me?" asked Tyn, sounding vaguely offended and a little hurt that she had neglected to mention him at all.

"They think you're crazy," said Tia, smirking slightly. "And I can't say they're wrong about that, either. But in addition to being crazy, they think you're abusive to me and if I tried to say that we were sleeping together, then I'd have to listen to even more crap about how I should throw you out."

"So it's marginally more okay for a roommate to be abusive than a lover?" asked Tyn dryly, shaking his head. "Human logic at its finest."

"The point is that what's done is done," she Tia, opening the apartment door and stepping out into the long hallway. "There's nothing to worry about, Tyn; I'll be just fine."

The last thing she saw as she closed the door was Tyn standing in the middle of the living room, looking decidedly like a neglected puppy.

"But what about me?" he asked softly.

His only answer was the click of the door latching shut.

"Most of the girls in my class complain about bras…should I have a bra, Starrk?"

Coyote Starrk rubbed his face as he sat on his couch, wondering why in the hell Lilynette had become so inquisitive in the past few days. He knew human children frequently asked their guardians ridiculous questions, his time at Burger World had taught him that, but he had hoped that Lilynette would be above such behavior.

But then again, nothing was ever easy.

Just a little peace…that's all he wanted; a temporary end to the flood of questions that he had been drowning in for the past few days.

"I don't know…" sighed Starrk, "Ask Tia."

"Maybe I should wait until I have boobs… When will my boobs grow? Will my boobs ever grow?"

Misery, thy name was parenthood.

"Go ask your 'aunt' Tia," said Starrk again. "Do I look like I know any of this stuff?"

"You're supposed to!" snapped Lilynette angrily. "You made me, you know, so you're supposed to know all this crap and answer my questions!"

"Lilynette, I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I'm not a woman." said Starrk dryly, looking over at the younger arrancar. "I don't know the first thing about boobs and bras, or periods, or how to tell if some guy in your class likes you, or—"

"Stop making it sound like I'm some kind of sissy!" shouted the slender young blonde, standing up on her end of the couch and shaking a small fist at her 'brother' threateningly. "I only ask 'cause a girl is supposed to know this stuff and I don't know any of it!"

"Then go ask Tia," said Starrk for the third time. "Or Orihime; pretty sure one of them can help you."

"Fine!" declared Lilynette, grabbing her coat and putting it on quickly. "Thanks for nothing, Starrk!"

"You're welcome!" he called out sarcastically as she slammed the apartment door behind her.

Starrk sat for a long moment, watching the door handle to see if she'd come back, but there was nothing; she was really going this time… He smiled broadly as he laid back on the couch and stretched out, yawning as he propped his feet up.

"Ahh, peace and quiet at last…"

Sometimes the best cure for a bad day was binging on comfort food and losing yourself to the sweet, sweet sin that was indulgence. For women, comfort food was generally some form of chocolate or ice cream; for Tyn, it was whatever he could catch.

Slurpee was off-limits, he knew that much; if that stupid animal were to disappear, it would be far too easy for Tia to trace it back to him, and he wasn't anxious for another round of getting his ass kicked over the little neighbor girl's stupid cat.

Fluffykins from the third floor was a different story, however.

The grey-and-black striped furball frequently found his way into the stairwell, which was where Tyn had first noticed him several months ago. Tia rarely took the stairs, so if the cat were to vanish, she'd never know…

He'd taken a long look at the collar and nametag that first time he found the cat, contemplating it. Nothing was like a fresh kill, nothing. A soul would be ideal, or barring that, a larger animal like a deer, but trapped in the confines of a city, a predator had to make do with what was available.

The collar was more carefully disposed of this time, tossed from his bedroom window over to the roof of the adjacent building where Halibel would never see it. A small trash bag had been set aside for the fur and bones and any leftovers, all of which would be taken downstairs and dropped in the dumpster before eight-thirty and Tia's return.

For now, though, it was time to enjoy the spoils of the hunt, such as they were.

He stood in the kitchen, holding a hind leg that had been stripped nearly to the bone, chewing slowly and thoughtfully as he savored the fresh meat.

It was just a little after seven o'clock, and he found himself wondering how Tia's date was going; was she miserable yet? Was she prepared to end it early? Surely right about now she was realizing her mistake and seeing that a human was beneath her?

Or was she maybe enjoying it?

He tore off another chunk of meat with a savage bite, throwing his head back and letting it roll down his gullet like a crocodile as he tried to dismiss the idea.

She'd be home soon enough, he was sure of it.

Stupid Starrk and his uselessness! Why couldn't he answer any of her questions? What did it matter that he wasn't a girl; adults were supposed to know everything, weren't they? Ulquiorra seemed to, and he was just the cuarto! Shouldn't the primera be smarter?

Lilynette scowled and she stormed down the sidewalk, hands thrust into her coat pockets to stay warm as she made her way to Tia's apartment. It wasn't that she didn't like the tercera, but the idea that she was forced to turn to Halibel because Starrk was completely clueless irked her to no end.

Still, this was an excuse to get out and do something; Starrk had refused to leave the apartment this evening after coming home from work and Karin was too sick to hang out and all that translated to a very frustrated and bored Lilynette. Tia and Tyn were more lively, though; maybe they would want to-

Wait, was that Tia?

Lilynette paused outside of a restaurant, a much nicer looking place than Burger World, and pressed her face against the window shamelessly. There was a very familiar-looking blonde woman with short hair sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant, having dinner with some strange guy with dark hair.

The woman was definitely Tia and the man was definitely not Tyn.

Lilynette pried herself away from the glass window and casually strolled over to the entrance, and as soon as the man doing seating arrangements turned his back to answer a ringing phone, she darted inside and over to Halibel's table, inviting herself to sit down.

Tia stopped mid-laugh from some joke or amusing story that her companion had told her, eyes widening at the sight of the younger girl now sitting at the table.

"Lilynette!" she exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Got bored, ran off and left Starrk for a while," she said dismissively before jerking her thumb over towards the dark-haired man. "Who's this douche-monkey?"

"This is my date, Hiroki."

"Date?" gasped Lilynette, shoving herself away from the table so harshly that she nearly flipped her chair over. "What do you mean date?"

"You sound like Tyn…" sighed Tia, covering her face with her hand in embarassment. "Go home, Lilynette."

The younger arrancar paid Halibel no mind as she stood up from her seat and walked over to the man, squinting her eyes at him and getting up in his face. She raised one hand and carefully poked him in the forehead a couple of times with her index finger before turning back to Tia.

"He's human!" she hissed into Halibel's ear.

"I know," replied the Shark Queen dryly.

For his part, Hiroki looked utterly confused as to what the hell was going on.

"This is my niece, Lilynette," Tia lied with a smile, giving the younger female a glare that told her to sit down and shut up or else. "I'm sorry about this, Hiroki…she means well, really; she just wants to spend time with her aunt."

"Oh, I understand," said Hiroki, smiling. "Actually, it's pretty sweet that she went through the trouble of tracking you down; you must mean a lot to her."

Even Lilynette could see he was lying through his teeth about understanding, but Tia just smiled kindly at him and apologized again as she took a small plate that had once held a dinner roll and put some of her fish and rice on it before handing it over to Lilynette.

"In ten years or so, she'll be as beautiful a woman as you are, Tia; hope you'll be ready for the competition," he continued, laying it on excessively-thick as he flashed a flirtatious smile at the buxom blonde.

Another lie and Lilynette grit her teeth as she contemplated stabbing the man in the face with a fork. She couldn't ever imagine herself comparing to Halibel and having someone suggest it was a slap in the face, a cruel taunt.

And still, Halibel blushed and thanked him for the compliment as if she were completely enthralled by his good looks and silver-tongue.

The world had gone mad, and it had taken the incomprehensibly-strong number three with it.

"It's only five more weeks until Christmas! Isn't it exciting, Ulquiorra?"

The cuarto looked at the woman clinging to his arm emotionlessly, wondering when she would give up asking him such pointless questions; after spending nearly a year in the human world, Ulquiorra had concluded that he was completely incapable of emotion, especially excitement.

"Oh, don't look at me like that!" said Orihime, frowning. "You can't wait either, and you know it!"

He refused to dignify that with an answer.

"You know how I know?" she continued happily, "Because eight months ago, you'd have been like 'remove yourself from my arm, woman' and then said something about how Christmas is just another ordinary day and getting excited over it is stupid."

"I do not sound like that," said Ulquiorra stiffly, referring to her poor attempt to imitate his voice.

"See?" she giggled, "That's something else; you didn't correct me on exactly what you would say!"

"Would you like for me to?"

"No," said Orihime, squeezing his arm tighter. "This is nice just the way it is."

He grunted out a noncommittal agreement as they walked down the sidewalk and Orihime latched onto one of his arms while he carried a large, slender box containing an artificial tree under the other arm. Five weeks, and the woman had insisted they go out and start shopping for decorations and presents early…

Ulquiorra could admit to himself that there was a part of him, a very small part, that wished he could share her enthusiasm, to understand the feeling of excitement and anticipation for the holiday.

Instead there was a void inside him, cold and empty.

He just hoped that his lack of emotion didn't ruin the holiday for her; the last thing he wanted was to drag her down to his level. Orihime was too pure for that, too sweet and uncorrupted, and Ulquiorra wished for her to maintain her sense of innocent joy for as long as possible.

"We should eat while we're out…" Orihime was saying, "We really don't go out and eat together enough."

Given the alternative, we would eat out every night were it my choice… thought Ulquiorra morosely, but he kept his mouth shut.

"How about this place up ahead? It looks nice and—"

"It likely requires a reservation, which we do not have," Ulquiorra interrupted her. "There is another restaurant a block away that may be a better option for tonight."

"Oh, I hope they have red-bean chili paste, just like I make at home!" chirped Orihime.

Please, for the love of all that is good and decent in this universe, do not let that place have anything with red-bean paste in it…

Even the almighty Espada were not above silent prayers when faced with desperate situations.

"Ulquiorra, look! Is that Tia? Who's that guy with her? What's Lilynette doing with them?"

Wonderful; now the woman's overactive imagination was going berserk and causing her to see…

Ulquiorra blinked in silent surprise as he realized that Orihime was not simply imagining things and that Halibel was, in fact, coming out of the restaurant ahead with some strange man, with Lilynette following close behind them. Halibel looked up and noticed them for the first time, her face flushing with embarrassment and her eyes saying the "oh no" that her mouth refused to as Orihime began to wave at her enthusiastically in greeting.

"Hi Tia!" she sang happily, enveloping the older woman in a friendly hug before the arrancar could protest. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm supposed to be on a date…" she growled as Orihime released her, "but it seems that everyone I know is intent on interrupting it."

Lilynette flashed a broad, mischievous grin at that, puffing her chest out with unabashed pride.

"A date, you say?" asked Ulquiorra, scrutinizing the human male closely, observing how he lightly slipped an arm around Halibel's waist without her reacting violently. "Does Tyn know?"

"Of course he knows," scowled Halibel. "We live together, after all."

"Does he approve?"

"It doesn't matter if he approves or not!" roared Tia angrily. "He's my roommate, not my mate or my boss!"

"I see…" he said as he turned to address the man. "I trust you have a good health and life insurance policy?"

"Ulquiorra!" Halibel admonished, "What the hell kind of question is that supposed to be?"

"A practical one," he answered honestly.

"Don't be silly, Ulquiorra…" said Orihime, giggling nervously as she tried to lighten the dark mood that had settled over the group. "I'm sure Tyn is just fine with Tia going out on the town without him for a change."

"I do not share your optimism," said the cuarto stiffly, "but so long as I still have his Soul Candy, the damage he can do is greatly limited."

"What's he talking about?" the man whispered to Halibel, as if Ulquiorra could not hear him.

"Nothing," said Halibel curtly, glaring at the other Espada as she answered. "Ulquiorra is just babbling; pay him no mind. Orihime, please take Lilynette home while Hiroki and I go out for a few drinks."

Orihime smiled as a way of acknowledgement as Lilynette quickly stepped over beside the teen, sticking her tongue out at Hiroki as she did so. The human, to his credit, managed to force a smile and wish her good night rather than say what was really on his mind and Ulquiorra frowned at the dishonesty being displayed.

The emotionless Espada quickly washed the expression from his face, going back to his trademark mask of stoicism as Hiroki and Halibel wished everyone a good evening and crossed the street, heading for the bar. Ulquiorra glanced down at his watch, noting the time of nine o'clock.

He could only hope that the quinto was coping with this new development maturely.

Tyn lay on his back on his sleeping pallet in the floor, gazing up at the ceiling through the darkness that permeated his room. The only visible light came from a small sliver of moonlight streaming in through the bedroom window and the soft red glow of his digital clock, and he glanced over at said clock just in time to see it strike ten-thirty.

Ten-thirty, and Tia still wasn't home.

I expect to be home by eight-thirty. Nine, at the latest…

Yeah, right.

He'd already decided that if midnight struck and she still wasn't home, he would go looking for her. He didn't expect that she would need him, of course; even without her Soul Candy and trapped inside her gigai, she was still more than a match for any human. Hell, she was more than a match for several humans at once if need be.

All the same, if anything was wrong…

She was probably just caught in traffic, nothing more. A wreck or road construction could easily cause her to run an hour or two late. Hell, she'd probably come in any minute now…

He turned his head back to look up at the ceiling as he waited, reminiscing of days long gone in Los Noches, before he had been branded a traitor and chased away under threat of pain and death.

Most of the ones he'd considered to be part of his original pack were the current members, save that Neliel had disappeared and been replaced by Grimmjow, even though the Panther Lord was a rough fit. Both Neliel and Halibel's fracción had been considered part of the extended pack, and in their absence Orihime had slid into that role, possibly with some room remaining for a few others who managed to prove their worth to the group.

There was no room for an ordinary human, least of all a male, and least-least of all a male who expressed any kind of personal interest in Halibel.

It was a public service, a humanitarian gesture, really; with as mercurial as Tia's moods could be, any human trying to get closer to her was risking life and limb. By denying such a man entry into the pack, Tyn protected both him from harm and the pack from being watered-down by the presence of yet-another mortal.

He glanced over at the clock again.

Eleven-oh-five.

He sat up and raked his fingers through his short, spiky crimson hair, letting out a long sigh. Where was she? What the hell was taking so long?

Maybe he shouldn't wait until midnight, maybe he had waited long enough. Yes, that was it; if Tia wasn't home by now, something had to be wrong and he was obligated to go out and find her—

He paused as his hand touched the doorknob, hearing movement outside in the living room.

Carefully, Tyn took a step backwards away from his door and cocked his head, listening to the sound of Tia entering the apartment and the voice of an unwelcome male following her.

"Thanks for driving me home, Hiroki… I'm really sorry for all the interruptions tonight."

"Don't worry about it; spending time with you was more than worth any minor inconvenience."

"I enjoyed tonight a lot more than I thought I would…"

"Maybe we could do it again next Friday?"

"Next Friday sounds great," said Halibel, and Tyn's keen ears could just barely hear the wet smack of lips on lips shortly before the man said goodbye and the apartment door shut.

The Raptor Prince hissed as if he'd just been burnt, only to bite down on his tongue when he realized that his roommate might possibly hear him.

"Tyn? Are you awake?" Tia called out softly and he could hear her just on the other side of the door. He didn't want to see her, not now, not while he was feeling…this.

He watched the doorknob slowly turn, dreading her entrance…and then she released the polished brass doorknob abruptly. Tyn heard her backing away slowly, apparently thinking he was asleep and that it would be best not to disturb him.

The confused and upset arrancar made his way over to his bedroom window and opened it, leaning outside and letting the cool night air caress his face as he kept a close eye on the ground and the front door to the apartment complex. It was only a couple of minutes before a dark-haired and well-dressed man stepped outside, and Tyn narrowed his eyes at the offending human.

He raised his hand to his mouth and tore open his palm with his teeth, curling his hand just enough to dip the fingers into the warm blood before opening his hand again and holding it outward with fingers splayed-wide, aiming towards the oblivious man and concentrating all his energy and hatred into a single point…

Nothing.

Goddamned reiatsu-sealing gigai!

He growled as he withdrew his hand, watching a single drop of blood make the long fall down to earth and splatter itself on the sidewalk as he made a mental note to get his Soul Candy back from Ulquiorra come Monday morning.

Calm down; it won't last. He's just a human, after all.

Yes, that was it; surely Tia would get over the novelty of dating a human by next Friday, wouldn't she?