Unwelcome Surprises

"Love thy neighbor, because it's illegal to kill them."

For all the fanfare and celebration humans indulged in at the dawning of the new year, it seemed so damned pointless in retrospect. Despite all the partying and promises of a "new year and a new beginning," nothing had changed: Starrk was still stuck at Burger World, still manning the drive-through, Ulquiorra was still an emotionless bore, Grimmjow was still insane, and Tyn and Tia…

Well, he wasn't exactly sure what was going on with them anymore, not after what he'd witnessed at the bar two weeks ago; Tyn had stubbornly refused to tell anyone what, if anything, was going on between the two of them now, saying only that everyone should mind their own business, and Halibel had been equally uncooperative, warning everyone to stay out of her private business or else.

They had to be the two most stubborn individuals he'd ever known.

"As much as I hate how cold and wet snow is, it definitely has its uses…" Tyn was saying from his spot leaning up against the wall. "It's the lunch hour rush, and we haven't had a single customer yet because of all the snow."

"I think that has more to do with Grimmjow and his new hobby than with the weather…" observed Starrk dryly, watching the sexta in question through the window.

Tyn and Tia may have been the two most stubborn people he knew, but Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez was far and away the most mentally-disturbed creature he'd ever met.

Grimmjow had been outside all morning, having been tasked with clearing away all the snow from the restaurant and parking lot to make the place more appealing to cold and hungry patrons going up and down the road. It was an easy task, a simple task, something that nobody could possibly screw up, and yet…

"They are amazingly detailed, aren't they?" asked Tyn.

"And entirely inappropriate," said Ulquiorra disapprovingly, although Starrk noted that he didn't seem inclined to go outside and tell Grimmjow to stop.

It had started as simple snowmen, completely innocent-looking snowmen. It could have easily turned into a heartwarming family-friendly scene that would draw in customers with its simple charm and make for a profitable day.

Could have, had the mastermind behind it all been anyone but Grimmjow.

The sexta had "borrowed" some food coloring from the kitchen as well as a plastic knife and had begun sculpting the normal-looking snowmen into something considerably more disturbing.

In front of the restaurant, in full view of passing cars, were two snowmen; one snowman had blue hair and the other was actually a busty, green-haired snow-woman that was clinging to him as if he were some kind of hero. On either side of them were two broom handles firmly implanted into the snow, each with a severed snowman head mounted on top of them; one with telltale orange hair, and the other with short, brown hair. On the ground in front of it all was a pile of snow that had been painstakingly-crafted to resemble two headless bodies, bodies that appeared to be dressed in shinigami garb.

A trip out back to the dumpster had revealed yet another headless body, this time one that appeared to be dressed as an Espada. The severed head, complete with generous amounts of red food color dripping from where the neck used to be, was mounted on top of the drive-through menu.

On either side of the side door were two more severed heads, one with red hair sitting atop the trash can, with the other, black-haired snowman head resting on the windowsill.

"Should we be concerned with the fact he keeps making severed heads? Namely our severed heads?" asked Tyn.

"It's harmless self-expression," Starrk said with a shrug. "I'm just impressed with his artistic skill; the heads of you and Ulquiorra are pretty spot-on. He even detailed your masks perfectly."

"He may have gone overboard with the red food coloring, though…" said Tyn, scratching the back of his head. "I mean, that's a lot of blood for only four headless bodies, don't you think?"

"Oh, give him time; he hasn't made Urahara yet, or Ichigo's dad, or Tia, or Lilynette, or anyone else he knows. I'm sure if we wait, there'll be a dozen bodies out there before our shift is over."

"And how is it that you're okay with this Ulquiorra?" questioned Tyn, turning his attention to the cuarto. "Usually, you'd be out there telling him to knock it off and go scrub the toilets."

"Because he is not harming anyone for once. So long as he's not assaulting customers, I can permit him some freedom," said Ulquiorra dismissively.

"Not hurting anyone?" asked Starrk incredulously. "I'm pretty sure that any children who see his 'art' will be emotionally scarred for life."

"If you wish to go tear it all down, you are free to do so."

"And then we'll probably have customers start showing up…" said Tyn sourly, giving Starrk pause for a few moments.

"What's a few more hours?" he said finally. "Second shift can deal with it."

The side door chimed as Grimmjow finally hauled himself inside for a break, unzipping his coat and shaking the snow from his hands as he made for the coffee pot. He looked out the window as he poured himself a cup of hot coffee, looking quite pleased with his horrifying handiwork.

"You're sick, you know that?" asked Starrk.

"I'm gifted," Grimmjow corrected smugly.

"I'm voting for 'deranged' personally," Tyn said as the side door chimed again, signaling a new arrival. All eyes turned towards the door, wondering who would even want to come to Burger World after seeing Grimmjow's "house of horrors" outside.

Starrk was pretty sure it was the police.

"Love the new décor you've got out there…" said the visitor sarcastically as he pulled back the hood of his coat and removed the scarf from around his face to reveal the substitute shinigami himself, Ichigo Kurosaki.

"You have any fucking idea how long it took me to get your hair right, you prick?" asked Grimmjow as he sipped on his coffee. "You're always a pain in the ass, Kurosaki, even when you're not around."

"Shouldn't you be in school today?" asked Tyn. "That's a thing you do when you two aren't punching each other stupid, right?"

"In case you haven't noticed, we have eight inches of snow on the ground and the roads are iced over; school is closed," said the teenager irritably. "Lilynette came by earlier to grab Karin and go to the park and start a snowball war with some other kids."

"Then why the hell are you here bothering us?" Grimmjow asked sourly. "Go play with your sister or play in traffic or something."

"Well, funny thing; I thought you guys might be able to help me…" said Ichigo, pulling out a cellphone and tapping a few buttons on it. "Woke up this morning and found an odd sculpture in my front yard… Seeing as you seem to have such an 'accomplished' artist here, I thought you guys might be able to give me some insight as to who could be responsible."

He held the phone out for the Espada to gather around and look at the picture in question. There was silence for a moment before Grimmjow broke out in a loud guffaw, collapsing against the front counter as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Oh my God…" breathed Starrk. "That's horrible."

"Is that what I think it is?" asked Tyn. "Is that a—"

"It's a seven foot snow penis," Ichigo confirmed.

"That's awesome!" laughed Grimmjow. "I'd punch a baby to have seen the look on your face when you saw that! Your old man's face, too!"

"I don't suppose any of you might possibly know who's responsible, do you?" asked Ichigo, narrowing his eyes at Grimmjow angrily.

"Hey, wait just a minute…" said Grimmjow, his laughter finally quieting down as he realized the implication. "I said it was awesome, not that I did it."

"And who else would do such a thing, you maniac?" Ichigo demanded as he dropped his phone on the counter. "Jesus, Grimmjow, my kid sisters saw that thing!"

"Well, they gotta learn about the birds and the bees sooner or later, right?" snickered the unapologetic sexta. "Still, I didn't do it. Seriously, just look at that pile of crap and then look outside!"

"You're not fooling anyone, Grimmjow! This time, I'm going to kick your sorry ass!" roared Kurosaki, tackling him in a fit of rage and sending both men tumbling into the dining room, trading blows the entire way.

"You know…" Tyn began, picking up the cellphone and looking at the picture again as Grimmjow and Ichigo continued to fight, "The moron might actually be telling the truth for once; it's nowhere near as detailed as his other works."

"And he'd have probably used food coloring to accentuate it…" observed Starrk, glancing out the window at the various sculptures surrounding the restaurant. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think he's innocent this time."

"Yeah, but who else is there? I know I didn't do it. You?"

"Not me," said Starrk, holding his hands up defensively.

"Then it has to be Grimmjow, right?" asked Tyn, looking back up at the no-holds-barred brawl going on in the dining room.

Neither man noticed the faint, almost nonexistent smile on Ulquiorra's lips as he innocently counted the money in the register.

Snow days tended to be the best days to work in Tia's opinion; the cold deterred most people from trudging outside and through the snow to go anywhere that wasn't strictly necessary, including the bar. Sure, less customers meant less tips but it was a worthwhile sacrifice every now and then. With almost eight inches of snow on the ground, today was indeed the perfect work day.

Pity she'd had the day scheduled off.

She sighed in irritation, the exhale of her breath visible in the cold air as she looked across the street towards her destination.

"There?" she asked.

"Yep!" chirped Neliel brightly. "My favorite store in the human world!"

"Nel…it's a bookstore."

"I know! Isn't it great?" exclaimed the ex-Espada, grabbing Halibel by the wrist and dragging her across the nearly-frozen road to the store.

Halibel had been unable to spend much time with Neliel two weeks ago on New Years before the arrancar-turned-shinigami had needed to return home and had been talked into scheduling a day off to rectify the situation. It hadn't been easy to secure a day off at first, but three days of haggling with her manager had finally netted Tia the victory.

Neliel, of course, had encountered significantly less resistance to her request for time off, but Tia had expected as much given that the other woman was currently engaged to marry her captain in the spring.

Browsing through a massive bookstore wasn't anywhere remotely near the top of Halibel's list of things she'd wanted to accomplish today, but she supposed it would have been selfish to refuse to come; after all, Neliel had said that she usually only got a chance to visit the human world once a month while Tia lived there full-time.

She pulled the hood back on her coat and unzipped the top a little as she followed Neliel through the store and down the aisles, thankful at least that it was good and warm inside the store.

"I still can't believe you're going to marry a Soul Reaper…" said Tia, shaking her head as Nel browsed through the books. "It just seems so…unnatural."

"Well, you and the others have a different view because you actually fought against them in the war, I guess," said Nel, flipping through a book for a moment before placing it back on the shelf. "But they're not really bad guys at all. An is a sweetheart; I really think you'd like him if you met him."

"I doubt that," scoffed Tia. "I don't think I'll ever get along with a true shinigami. But it's not my place to judge; as long as you're happy, then I suppose I'm happy for you."

"I really wish you and the others could attend…" Neliel said sadly. "But it's in the Seireitei, and if the Head-Captain found out you and the others were still around…"

"I don't believe in wedding ceremonies, anyway," said Tia dismissively. "All that should matter is that two people have chosen to be mates; why should there have to be some stupid ceremony in front of a hundred people or so in order to declare it to the world?"

"It's a gathering of your closest friends and family; they're there to celebrate the occasion with you," said Nel with a shrug. "I mean, I guess I can kind of see your point, but I like the idea of it myself. I'm just worried about how it's actually going to turn out since Rangiku and Yoruichi have pretty much taken over all the planning; I think they're going to go overboard with everything."

"Take charge, then; seize control back from them. It's your wedding, after all," said Tia picking up a novel with an innocent-looking apple on the cover.

"Vampires do not sparkle!" yelled Neliel abruptly, snatching the book from her hands and roughly shoving it back onto the shelf.

"…okay?" asked Tia a confused Tia, looking around at all the other patrons in the store who were staring at the two women as if they might be insane.

"Crazy author…" explained Neliel. "Ulqui is more like a vampire than those things she writes about."

"Aren't all authors mentally disturbed, anyway?" asked Tia, suddenly imagining Ulquiorra dressed in a classic Dracula costume and speaking with a bad European accent.

"More or less, but some are worse than others…" said Nel, looking up and out for a moment as if she saw something no one else could. "Like…oh, never mind."

The rest of the visit to the bookstore passed by peacefully, with no more random outbursts from Neliel that made Tia question the poor girl's mental health. The ex-Espada finished her shopping and paid for her five books as Tia stood by the door, zipping her coat back up as she waited for her friend. Finished with her purchase, Nel zipped her own coat up and the duo exited the store, heading for the apartment next.

"So…what about you and Feathers?" asked Neliel finally, eliciting a sigh from Tia. She'd known the question to be coming after all of their talks of Neliel and her own relationship, but that didn't mean she was eager to discuss it.

"What about us?" Halibel asked defensively. "There's nothing to tell."

"Don't lie to me!" Neliel pressured her. "I saw you two on New Year's! Everyone saw it!"

"And you saw us break apart and say it was an accident. I tripped and fell into him, that's all."

"I also saw how he kept hanging on you the rest of the night when the others weren't looking, including when he followed you into the storeroom," Neliel pointed out accusingly. "So tell me, what's going on between you two now? What happened after you went home?"

"Nothing," sighed a defeated Tia, "And that's the problem…"

-2 Weeks Ago, New Year's-

The party at The Oasis was over and all the patrons had gone home for the night, including Orihime, Ulquiorra, Neliel, and the others. Only Tyn had remained through the brief clean-up at the bar, pitching in and rushing to get the job done while Tia worked more slowly and methodically as she reflected on the insanity of the evening.

Earlier they'd broke away from one another when they'd heard Lilynette's voice, hiding behind the excuse that Tia had tripped and that it wasn't what it looked like, but she sincerely doubted that anyone had believed them. Hell, she couldn't even make herself believe it, not with the way Tyn had been following her around the rest of the evening, sniffing at her hair, growling in her ear and nipping at her neck when the others weren't looking.

And then, then he had followed her into the stockroom when she went to retrieve another couple of bottles of champagne for the customers! She'd been surprised when she heard the door shut behind her and had turned around just in time for Tyn to grab her hips and pull her in close again, kissing her with a passion that Hiroki had never been able to achieve…and she had enjoyed every sinful second of it rather than trying to push the amorous arrancar away.

Christ, if Kishi hadn't knocked on the door asking if she needed an extra hand with the champagne, Tia wasn't sure what would have happened.

The quick clean-up at the bar had passed without further incident however, and the ride home with Tyn had been incredibly quiet and subdued. She'd half expected him to make another grab for her during the elevator ride up to their floor but Tyn had kept his hands to himself and acted very calm and very normal, leaving Tia to believe that whatever madness had taken hold of him earlier had finally released the quinto from its grip.

A small part of her mourned the return to normal but she consoled herself with the knowledge that it was probably better this way; in the unlikely event that they were to ever have anything together, it would be best to take it slow so as to give both parties plenty of time to decide if they truly wanted to get involved with one another.

She thought nothing further of the incident as they entered the apartment, unzipping her coat and hanging it on the rack by the door, but she had barely released the coat when she sensed movement behind her. Tia had turned just in time to have Tyn grab her hips again and back her against the wall, sandwiching the tercera and leaving her no escape route other than through him.

But escape was the furthest thing from her mind as she allowed him to taste her lips, savoring the wild thrill of it all as he reached up and 'helped' her out of her black vest that was part of her work uniform. Tia pulled him closer as he finished with the vest and began working on undoing her black tie, momentarily forgetting all about the notion of waiting and taking things slow.

She briefly remembered the night she almost had with Hiroki and how she'd backed out at the last minute, but she didn't feel the same reservations here and now; she didn't mind the fact that they were going to end up in the bedroom and found herself actually wanting it.

Tyn's madness had now taken hold of her but Tia couldn't make herself care.

It was only when the black tie hit the floor and Tyn reached up and grabbed her white button-up shirt, preparing to tear it open, that she realized that they probably weren't even going make it to the bedroom and finally remembered the notion of taking it slow.

"No…" she murmured as he pulled his lips away from hers for a split second, reaching up to grab his hands and stop him from ripping the buttons free. "We shouldn't do this…not yet. We should wait."

"You're right…" he breathed, opting to bury his face in her neck for a moment and kiss the exposed flesh. "We're going too fast."

"We should slow down…" she gasped as he bit her neck firmly.

"Want me to stop?" he asked huskily, pulling back from her neck and brushing his nose against hers.

"…no," she admitted as he reached up and began to carefully undo the top button on her shirt, his only concession to the idea of slowing down.

"Good…" he said with a lecherous grin as the top button came undone and he moved on to the second, nipping at her lips as he growled with amorous intent.

And then there was a knocking at the front door.

Tyn snapped his head around to glare at the door angrily, the rumbling in his chest shifting tone from one of desire to one of rage and murderous intent. Once again, Tyn was giving in to his more savage and animalistic instincts, and the bestial side of him didn't appreciate someone interfering with his attempt to mate.

Whoever was on the other side of that door was toying with death and they didn't even know it.

"Ignore them…" Tia breathed, nipping at his earlobe affectionately and holding him tightly as he tried to pull away. "Stay with me, and maybe they'll go away."

He looked back at her, the expression on his face suggesting that he wasn't convinced their unwelcome visitor would just up and leave, but he didn't dare argue as she kissed his lips again. His growl shifted tones once more, back down to a more lustful sound as he began to work on her second button again.

*KNOCKKNOCK*

Tia snaked an arm around his neck and ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his head for a moment before grabbing hold tightly to keep him from killing whoever was at the door.

"Ignore them," she reminded him, biting at his lower lip.

Tyn ceased his attempts to pull away and returned to working on unbuttoning her shirt, becoming frustrated with the uncooperative third button as he prepared to just rip the entire thing off and discard it over his shoulder.

*KNOCKKNOCK*

"Come on, we know you guys are in there!" called a voice. It was the man from across the hall, Emi's father.

"Is something wrong? Are you two okay?" called a woman's voice, Emi's mother.

"Damn it…" hissed Tia under her breath as Tyn looked back towards the door, growling. They hadn't left after all, and were now asking if everything was okay…failure to answer now could result in them panicking and calling the police to come check on the two arrancar and given the circumstances, that would be a tremendously bad idea.

Damned nosey humans!

"Calm down…" she soothed as the tone of Tyn's growl became something deeper and more threatening, trying to calm him down as she straightened up her shirt. "We'll see what they want and send them on their way. Five minutes."

At least they helped us slow down some… thought Tia ruefully as she made her way back to the door and opened it.

"Oh, there you are, Tia! We thought something might be wrong when you didn't answer!" said Miyo, Emi's mother, as she closed her cellphone and put it back in her pocket, suggesting that she had indeed been prepared to call the police.

"We were…busy," said Halibel, noticing the duo seemed too tipsy to take the hint.

"What do you want?" growled Tyn curtly, and Tia moved over slightly to stand between him and the two humans.

"We just wanted to see if you two wanted to come over and toast the new year with us," said Norio. "We couldn't make it out to a party tonight since someone had to watch the kids, but we thought you might be willing to come over and have a drink with us.

"It's a quarter till three in the morning…" Tia said. "It's a little late to be toasting the new year, isn't it?"

"Not interested," Tyn said roughly, reaching over to shut the door in their faces as Tia seized his wrist and squeezed tightly, a silent warning to stop being overly rude.

"Well, we don't know many people in the building beside you two and we thought if we waited for you to get home, you might join us for a few minutes…" said Miyo.

"Alright…" Tia sighed as she rubbed her face, a combination of guilt and pity tugging at her non-existent heartstrings. "One drink, and then we need to come back home and go to bed. We'll be over in just a minute."

She gently closed the door on them and turned to try and negotiate with Tyn, only to have him press her back against the door as he savagely kissed at her lips again, reaching down and grabbing her left leg and pulling it up, hooking it around his waist.

"Tyn…no," she finally managed to protest after a couple of seconds, gently pushing him off. "Not yet; we'll go over, have one drink, wish them a happy new year, and then come home. Fifteen minutes at the most, okay?"

"If you say so…" Tyn sighed, stepping back and adjusting his clothes as she did the same, redoing the buttons on her shirt.

He reluctantly followed her across the hall to the other couple's apartment where two wine glasses full of champagne were waiting for them and while Tyn looked quite sullen throughout the entire affair, Tia had managed to force a smile and play nicely with their well-intentioned but clueless neighbors.

Fifteen minutes turned into an hour and one hour turned into two, making it nearly five in the morning before the two Espada finally managed to excuse themselves from their drunken, clingy neighbors. Tia shut the apartment door behind them and locked it, sighing as she turned around and leaned back against the door in relief that the nightmarish socializing was done.

But whatever had come over the two of them earlier was gone now and she and Tyn could only look at each other awkwardly, their cheeks flushing over what had almost happened.

"It's late…" he said finally, breaking eye contact with her. "I think maybe we should call it a night."

"You're right," Tia agreed with a slow nod. "We can talk in the morning."

"Yeah… Good night, Tia."

"Good night, Tyn."

"But you two worked it out, right?"

"Not exactly…" said Halibel, noting the disappointment on Neliel's face as they made their way through the lobby of the apartment complex. "Morning came, but we never talked about it. We just kind of…let it be. I don't think either of us really knew what to say or what to do next."

"You can't do that!" exclaimed Nel. "You two have to talk about this! You can't just let it end there!"

"It didn't end, not exactly…" said Tia, her tone a bit evasive as the elevator doors opened. "We've just…slowed down. Way, way down."

"Well, that's something, I guess… Taking it slow isn't a bad idea, but it seems like you two have been taking it slow for years! I mean, you spent a lot of time together in Los Noches—"

"We did not!" said Tia defiantly. "We talked because we had things in common, nothing more!"

"Yeah, but you talked a lot," pointed out Nel with a grin as the elevator arrived at the tenth floor and opened the doors to let them out.

"Not as much as you make it out to be…" said an exasperated Tia, leading Neliel towards the apartment where their plan was to order a pizza and watch a movie until it was time for the ex-Espada to return to the Soul Society.

"Miss Halle Belle!" cried Emi as she came flying out of her apartment, hugging the blonde around the waist tightly.

"Hello, Emi…" said Tia, forcing a smile to mask her irritation at having Emi butcher her name yet again as she patted the child on the head. "How are you today?"

"I'm doing great 'cause my mommy said you're going to baby-sit me this weekend!"

"She said what now?" asked Tia, her green eyes going wide as she took a step backwards.

"I said you might…" corrected Miyo, coming out of her apartment a few steps behind her daughter. "Norio and I have to go out of town Saturday for a business trip. We'll be back sometime Sunday evening, and we agreed to ask you and Tyn if you'd watch the kids for us."

Tia looked down at the six year old hugging her leg tightly and grinning up at her.

"I don't know…" she said slowly, trying to find a polite way to refuse. "Tyn and I don't really know anything about kids."

"Oh, come on, Tia!" interjected Neliel, "How can you say no to this little cutie? I'd love to try babysitting; I could use the practice."

"What? Nel, are you—" asked Tia, suddenly forgetting all about the child attached to her leg for a moment as she looked over at her friend.

"Not yet," said Nel sheepishly, "But someday, after the wedding…"

"Are you sure you two can? I mean, he's a…and you're…you know…"

"Why wouldn't it work?" asked Neliel, blinking in confusion. "Anyway, taking care of kids can't be that hard; I mean, Captain Zaraki is raising Yachiru all by himself."

"The crazy guy from Squad 11 that Aizen warned us about? Oh yes, he sounds like a positively ideal role model for an impressionable young child," said Halibel sarcastically.

"Please, Miss Halle Belle?" asked Emi, pouting.

"You and Feathers could use the practice, too, Tia…" Neliel added. "You never know."

"Please?" begged Emi, looking up at the blonde hopefully with her large, brown eyes.

"Fine…" said Tia, caving to the pressure. "We can manage one night, I guess."

"Great!" said Miyo with a smile. "You don't know how much this means to us! I'll make sure and leave you a list of things to help you out with the kids and Emi will be on her best behavior, won't you, sweetie?"

Tia barely heard the girl's enthusiastic acknowledgement or Nel's cheerful words of encouragement as she tried to think of how the hell she was going to break this news to Tyn without him freaking out.

While the day had been relatively peaceful at Burger World aside from yet another round of the never-ending Grimmjow vs Kurosaki feud, Tyn was more than glad to be off the clock and home. He marveled at how things had changed as he slid his key into the doorknob and heard the distinctive 'click' of the lock unlatching itself; ten months ago he had dreaded coming home to Tia, and now he looked forward to it.

It didn't matter that things had slowed to a crawl since New Years or that they weren't sleeping together; he was content to simply be able to spend time with her and know that no stinking human was ever going to steal her away again.

"Welcome home," Tia greeted from her seat on the couch as he opened the door and he favored her with a smile.

"Hi, Feathers!" called Neliel from the kitchen, a slice of pizza in her hand.

"I thought you'd be back in the Seireitei by now…" said Tyn, noting that Neliel was in a gigai this time as opposed to New Year's.

"I've got another hour," she shrugged, taking a bite of her pizza. "Want a slice? We saved you some."

The raptor grunted out a brief "thanks" as he snatched up a meat-laden slice and hungrily began to scarf it down as if he hadn't eaten all day.

"So, how was work?" Tia asked as Tyn grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator to wash down his pizza. "Grimmjow do anything stupid again?"

"Seven foot snow penis," said Tyn in-between bites.

"What the hell?" asked Tia, looking disgusted. "You know what? Forget it; I don't even want to know."

"I think I just lost my appetite…" said Nel slowly, putting her half-eaten slice back in the box.

"So how was your day?" asked Tyn with a bemused smile as he finished off his first slice and reached for another.

"About that…" Tia began slowly. "I just found out that we're going to have kids."

"We're what?" exclaimed Tyn, nearly choking on his last bite of pizza. "But I never… I mean, we didn't… How can…oh, God…"

"Congratulations, Feathers!" Neliel cheered happily, "You're going to be a daddy!"

"I…but we…oh, no," he stammered, turning sickly pale and wobbling on unsteady legs as a worried-looking Tia stood up from the couch.

"Tyn, are you okay?" she asked cautiously, making her way over to him.

*THUD!*