CHAPTER 5

Five hours later, I was sitting in my cat bed, still in shock over what had happened. I wasn't in the brig, I wasn't fleeing security, and I wasn't lying beaten up somewhere, which had happened before. I wasn't even hiding. Well, I wasn't hiding from the one person who knew who I was, anyway. The rest of them didn't really matter.

I still didn't know why Riker had done what he did. Maybe I would ask him sometime before I left, but I didn't know. He didn't seem to want to talk about it, and I didn't press it. As far as I was concerned, he had earned the right to keep some things to himself.

I didn't sleep much that night, so absorbed was I with my thoughts. It was still inexplicable to me that Riker hadn't turned me in, and I couldn't understand it. It wasn't just that he had potentially put his ship in danger, it was that he had put his own career in danger. And he had done it for a complete stranger who had taken advantage of him. I had thought that I had gotten to know Riker fairly well over the past five days, but apparently I was wrong. But, how well can you know someone when you're a cat?

I just couldn't wrap my head around it, even though I lay awake for many hours.

I was nine years old, and my friend was leaving me for the first time. It is a custom on Sandor that children are sent off to some major city to enter a boarding school one they reach the age of eleven. Brandon had turned eleven during the spring, and his parents were sending him off to the capital to learn.

We were walking alongside the stream, skipping rocks across it. Brandon was always better at it than I, but right now I didn't care too much. I had more important things to worry about.

"Why can't you go to somewhere closer?" I asked.

"Beldon is one of the closest cities with a good school," Brandon told me. "I told you that before."

"I know," I mumbled, throwing a rock into the creek. It sank to the bottom.

"Aw, cheer up Tasha," Brandon said, shaking my shoulder. "We'll still see each other. I'll be home over the holidays, and we can see each other all next summer."

"I guess…" I muttered. I still couldn't believe that Brandon was leaving. When I had first met Brandon at the tender age of five, I had thought that we would be together forever. Eleven seemed such a long way off.

"And you'll be eleven in two years," Brandon said. "You can go to the girls' school next to mine, and we can see each other then."

"That's true."

"See?" Brandon said. "It's not so bad. Come on, let's go eat lunch. My mom's fixing kali-tal."

"Alright," I answered grudgingly. I guess things weren't as grim as I had thought. Brandon would be back the next summer, after all, and I was sure that we would be friends for the rest of our life. Just like I'd always thought we would.

In the morning, I slept later than Riker. When I awoke, he was eating breakfast at the table, already dressed in his uniform. I stayed in bed for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do next. It seemed stupid to continue as a cat now that he knew who I was, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to become Sandorian again. It would be hard to live with Riker, who I was beginning to realize I knew so little about. And he didn't know me at all.

Eventually, realizing that I might as well get it over with, I rose from and bed and shifted. I pushed my hair back over my shoulders and straightened my clothing, which was the same thing I'd created the night before. I wasn't too imaginative when it came to clothes. It wasn't as if I was a clothing designer or anything. As per normal, I was barefoot.

Riker looked over at me, but didn't say anything.

I smiled at him slightly, not sure what to say. I wasn't sure how Riker wanted to proceed. Were we going to ignore each other for the next two days, going on as we had when I was cat, or were we going to actually try to get along and be friendly to each other? Or would I be an intruder on his ship?

"Help yourself to breakfast," Riker said, gesturing to the replicator.

"Thanks," I said. I had never been much of a breakfast person, but it had been so long since I had had access to a replicator that I wanted to take advantage of it.

"Earl Gray tea," I said, "and banana pancakes." I lifted the food and turned to the table. Riker was sitting down again, and I realized that he had pulled a chair out for me.

This relationship might actually work.

Riker raised his eyebrow as I set the food down on the table. "Banana pancakes?" he asked.

I ducked my head. "My mother used to make them," I explained. They were the one thing that I actually liked about her, but I didn't say that. Who wanted to hear that?

We ate in silence for a few minutes. When I was almost done eating, Riker spoke again.

"I have to leave in half an hour for my shift," he said.

"Okay," I acknowledged.

"No one will be here until I get back, so you'll be able to stay…" he gestured with his hand, apparently not sure what word to say, "in this form."

"Thanks." I smiled. 'Form' worked just as well as any other. "I'll be fine here," I added, not sure what he wanted to hear.

An hour later, I was enjoying my first shower in a very long time. Scrubbing my hair for the second time, I pondered my circumstance. I was pretty sure that it was unique. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. And how many other Sandorian shapeshifters were there? Well, ones who stowed aboard ships, that is.

Last night had been strange, to put it mildly. From Riker finding me, to our convoluted discussion, to his decision to let me stay, it had been very eventful. After he had made his decision, I had gone into mild shock. I couldn't believe that he was willing to just let me stay, no matter how harmless I might seem. And I knew that I could be far from harmless if I wanted to be.

I'd shifted back into cat form not long after Riker had made his decision, just to give myself time to think. I'd been doing a lot of that lately. Up until a week ago, my life had been fairly predictable, if not exactly routine. I would shift and hide from people to get where I wanted to go, get there, and the move on with no one the wiser. Here, though, things had been different from the start. I'd been discovered and instead of fleeing I'd embraced the very crew that I was deceiving and using. Then I'd been found out. Yet here I was, taking a shower in my would-be captor's quarters while he went out for his shift. It felt so natural.

Life was strange.

It was actually incredibly nice being in Riker's quarters during the day. I wasn't used to having the run of such a large area, and I enjoyed it. After the shower, I stretched out on the bed and started to read a book that I had found on one of Riker's shelves. It was a very worn copy of Much Ado About Nothing by an Earth playwright that I liked, although I had no idea how it had gotten so worn. Riker didn't strike me as a Shakespeare person.

I was relatively sure that no one would come in, but I tried to keep in the bedroom just in case. Even with this small restriction, it was fantastic to be in my normal form. It was luxurious even to be able to stretch out on the bed.

I was only a few scenes into the book when I decided to have lunch. This was another luxury: to be able to eat what I wanted when I wanted it. I still couldn't believe my luck.

I thought about it some more as I ate the hasperat. I was grateful to Riker for what he had, or rather had not, done, but I still didn't know why he had done it. He must have had some reason that I didn't know of, for no one would risk their career for a person they didn't even know. It simply wasn't possible. But, I didn't have to know the reason. I would be off the ship the day after next, and then this entire episode would be over. I couldn't say that I would be sorry.

Lying to yourself works sometimes.

Riker came back at around 1700. I was on his bed (which was very comfortable), finishing up the last scene of Much Ado About Nothing. When he came in, I quickly shifted into the cat. I was relatively sure that it was him, but I had been careless enough over the past few days to last me a lifetime. When I saw him, I returned to normal.

I still didn't know how to act around him. It hadn't been at all awkward when I had been a cat, but now it was incredibly so. I didn't know how Riker felt about me, whether he saw me as an intruder, a guest, or even a friend, although I found the last one highly unlikely.

Riker glanced around the quarters, and then back at me.

"Were you okay here?" he asked.

I nodded. "I was fine. How was your shift?"

"Fine." Riker asked as he walked toward the replicators. "Uneventful. I'm going to have dinner now, are you hungry?"

"Yeah." I was, actually. It had been a while since I had eaten lunch.

A few minutes we sat down to eat. It was weird eating with someone else, just as it had been at breakfast. We ate mostly in silence.

"I don't think I ever thanked you," I said, finally working up the courage to break the silence. "For not turning me in? I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am."

"Oh. Yeah, sure," Riker said. He paused, then looked up at me. "The reason I didn't call security is that I don't think you're a threat to the ship."

"You don't?" I asked, surprised. It seemed that nearly every person I met seemed to think I was a threat. Did Riker honestly think that I was harmless? It seemed so unlikely, but what possible reason did he have to lie to me?

"No. You could be, but…every person on board has the potential to be a threat, but they don't want to be. I don't think you want to be, either."

"I don't," I confirmed. "I don't have any reason to damage the Enterprise."

"I know."

We sat in silence for a few moments, neither of us eating.

"Where did you say you were before the space station?" Riker asked.

"A Terellian freighter," I answered quickly, coming out of my thoughts. "I was just on board for two days, though. Before that I'd been on an Arcadian ship that came from near Klingon space."

"Klingon space?"

"Yeah. I'm never stowing away on a Klingon ship again. Even Risa was better than that."

"Risa?" Riker asked. It may have been my imagination, but I was pretty sure that his eyes lit up when I mentioned the name. I remembered the hor'ghan that I had found.

"I had a job as a bartender," I explained. "I actually stayed there for two months." It had been one of my longest stays in one place.

Riker nodded. "I've been there on shoreleave. It's a beautiful planet."

I snorted. "For you, maybe. All I saw was a bunch half-drunk men who were constantly hitting on me. Not my idea of paradise." I took a drink of water.

Riker looked mildly embarrassed. I allowed myself a small smile.

"You were probably one of them," I told him. I took another bite of my dinner, which was starting to get cold.

Riker shook his head. "I never got drunk," he said.

"Of course," I said sarcastically.

"It's going to be great to go there again."

"Speak for yourself," I said. I didn't plan on going back anytime soon. I took a few more bites before continuing the conversation. Or, rather, starting a new one.

"So where are we going?" I asked.

Riker raised an eyebrow. "You don't know?" he asked. There was a touch of skepticism in his voice.

"I know we're stopping at the space station in the Mazar system, but I don't know why," I said. "I didn't exactly get the chance to check the mission log."

Riker looked at me, and started to chuckle.

"What?" I asked. This wasn't the reaction I had expected. Riker only started to laugh harder. "What?!"

"We're going to Risa after we stop at the space station," Riker said. I stared at him. "A lot of the crew is getting shore leave while repairs are made to the ship."

"Great," I muttered. "Well, you have fun down there, because I'm getting off at the station."

"How can you not like Risa?" Riker asked.

I shrugged, but he looked like he genuinely wanted to know, so I continued. "It's just so…pointless," I told him. "All there is to do is walk around and lie in the sun and swim and do…useless things. There are so many other important things that you need to do."

"That's why you go there on vacation," Riker said.

"I never enjoyed vacations."

Riker seemed to give up on me. Taking one last bite, I finished eating

"I have to go to a play rehearsal at 1830," Riker told me as he finished.

"Okay," I answered. I remember Dr. Crusher mentioning something about it from the night before, but I hadn't exactly been paying attention to her. "What's it called, again?"

"Something for Breakfast," Riker answered.

"Sounds interesting," I replied, picking up my plate and putting it in the replicator.

"Dr. Crusher wrote it," Riker said, getting rid of his own dishes. "It's pretty good."

"When's the performance?"

"Three weeks," Riker answered. "Which means that we really need to practice. Computer, time?"

"1810."

"I need to get down to Deck 12," Riker told me.

"Yeah, okay. Have fun."

"Thanks." Riker gave me a nod and a small smile, and then exited the quarters. I settled down onto the couch.

I was really glad that Riker and I had spent this time, however short, together. It would make it more comfortable being in the quarters all day, knowing that Riker and I were capable of having a relatively normal conversation. Now I was relatively sure that I could spend the rest of the trip how I wanted without having to worry about Riker.

Rising from the couch, I returned to the bed and retrieved my book. Then I sat down to read.

I was eleven years old, and the summer was drawing to a close. It was my last summer before I went off to boarding school. My parents, though not particularly rich, were well off enough to be able to send me to the capital city of Beldon.

I sat on bank of the stream, dipping my feet into the cool water. There were only two weeks left before I was to leave my home and make my long journey to Beldon, and I was growing nostalgic, not to mention nervous. I was coming back home during the year for several holidays, but I would still miss this place. And Brandon.

After I'd gone to school for several years, I had made several friends, but none of them were as close as Brandon. We still met at the same spot, though it was no longer every day. He had gone off to boarding school two years before, so I only saw him over the summer. This past summer, we had been spending every day together.

I felt a twinge of guilt as I thought over the past summer. I was close to Brandon and told him everything, everything that I was thinking or feeling or doing, but I had neglected to tell him one thing. I hadn't told anyone about it. I didn't know how I should tell them or how they would react or if I even should tell them. Nobody else had ever mentioned anything like this. What if there was something wrong with me?

"I heard that there's a serial killer loose in Cardon."

I turned around, forcing a smile and pushing away what I had been thinking about.

"That's ridiculous," I told Brandon. "There hasn't been a serial killer there in twenty years." I didn't know the exact date, but I figured that it had to be around twenty.

"Fifteen," Brandon corrected. "And the last one killed four people before he was caught."

"Whatever," I said. "I'm not going to get killed."

Brandon came to sit down beside me, tossing off his shoes and dipping them into the creek.

"Just thought I should let you know," he said.

We sat in silence for a few minutes; just listening to the birds and feeling the water wash around our feet. I loved it in the park. It was so beautiful and peaceful. Finally, Brandon spoke again.

"Guess what?" he said.

"What?" I answered.

"You have to guess!" Brandon insisted.

I frowned at him. "Just tell me! I don't want to guess."

"Fine. My brother got accepted into Dartmor!"

I stared at him. "No way!"

"Yep! He's going to be starting next month. He was the last person accepted, and they even made extra room in the classes especially for him."

Dartmor was a very prestigious boarding school that was located several hundred miles away in Wenton. Only the smartest kids on Sandor made it into the school.

"Why didn't you tell me your brother was that smart?"

Brandon looked sheepish. "My mom wanted to keep it a secret just in case he didn't make it in. You know how competitive they can get, she didn't want anyone to know."

"I thought we didn't keep any secrets from each other," I pressed, and then bit my tongue. Wasn't that what I was doing?

"Aww, come one," Brandon started, and then stopped. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and smiled again. "Nothing."

"Something's wrong, what is it?"

I sighed. "Really, it's nothing," I told him halfheartedly. Brandon gave me one of his looks. "Fine. You know how I said that we don't have any secrets. Well...that's not really true."

Brandon grinned triumphantly. "Do you like that Flowers kid? I knew it!"

"No, that's not it!" I snapped. No matter what Brandon said, I did not like Chris Flowers. I stopped for a minute. What if he got angry at me, or didn't want to be my friend anymore? What if there was actually something wrong with me?

"What, then?" Brandon was starting to tell how upset I really was.

There was nothing for it. I showed him.

When I looked at him again, he was staring at me with mingled shock and horror.

"Brandon?" I asked, scared. This wasn't the reaction that I had been expecting. "Brandon, what's wrong?"

He stood up and backed away, looking at me in what looked like disgust. Then he turned around and ran.

"Brandon!"

I jerked awake, looking around in confusion. Where was I? Slowly, I recognized the quarters. It had been a dream, just a dream. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes. What time was it? And how long had I been asleep? Riker wasn't back yet, so it couldn't be that late.

"Computer, what time is it?" I asked quietly.

"2000," the computer answered. I'd been asleep for over an hour. How stupid could you get? Not only had I been asleep in my normal form, I'd fallen asleep on Riker's bed. I quickly got up and straightened the blanket where I had messed it up. Then I returned Much Ado About Nothing, which I'd luckily not damaged, back to its shelf.