It's been a week since Sunny has been gone. Kyle has barely spoken and Ian told me that he was depressed. Another human emotion that I didn't understand, Ian explained to me what it was by bringing up the memory of when I found Doc had killed the Souls. "He'll be all right love." Ian broke my thoughts as I was looking at Kyle. I nodded; I still couldn't help but to worry about him. Kyle and I have formed a silent bond. When Ian was busy, Kyle was with me. Even though we didn't talk much us, just the presence of each other had become comforting.
Jared proposed another raid today during lunch. He suggested that a raid might help Kyle clear his head. Jeb agreed that it was a good idea. I asked Ian not to go. I needed him close to me. It was decided Jaime should go. It's been a while since he's been out on a raid too. I tried hard to go back to my routine. It seems that routine helps me feel normal. I spent my evenings in the kitchen with Trudy wordlessly kneading dough and making bread. With the better quality of the raids Trudy has taught me to make other things and I liked to learn. I liked to keep my hands busy. I've learned how to make several different kinds of muffins and banana bread. Tonight I was going to learn how to make cinnamon rolls and cinnamon bread. Trudy and I have taken on the role of bakers and odd enough I was glad to have that title.
I'm not sure exactly why, but Sharon often sits in the kitchen with Trudy and I but she never talks to us. She usually just sits near the fire reading one of the books we have brought back from a raid. I know she was pleased with the books we have found and the library in the classroom had grown. I know Sharon didn't approve of me and it pleased me that I could do one small thing to make her happy. Sharon was absent this evening and I missed her presence.
As I shaped the dough for the cinnamon rolls Trudy broke my silence "Wanda, you want to talk about it?" I was surprised at her question and I felt my shoulders slump "Yes, Trudy, I think I do." She smiled warmly at me "Go ahead, spill the beans". Spill the beans? I was confused again. Trudy laughed "What's on your mind?" Then the words flowed from me.
"There are so many things that I don't understand Trudy!" I started "I miss Melanie in my head interpreting words, emotions, and phrases. I feel like a child and I'm going to have a child! I don't understand why Sunny ran away, I don't understand why Sharon has changed and now sits with us, and I don't understand a lot of things!" I felt the tears started to well in my eyes "And what is prom?!"
Trudy burst out laughing. "Wanda, I'm not laughing at you. I wasn't expecting that last question!" She smiled and looked at the dough thoughtfully. "Well, I'll start with the first. You know that if you don't understand anything, you can always ask. I can't imagine what it's like for you, none of us can. As for Sunny…" Trudy sighed "I think, I think she was just scared. You know how she is; she clung to Kyle and never left his side. It's always just been her in her head and now she has two people. For years Sunny has owned that body and that's what she knows. Change can be scary Wanda." That made sense to me, and I was grateful for Trudy's insight.
"As for Sharon, you have changed our world Wanda. You have changed the way we thought about Souls. Oh, we know that they aren't all like you, Burns, and Sunny; but we know that there's hope. Even when you aren't happy, you're presence is comforting." I was shocked at her words and she looked at me and smiled "Wanda, people can't help to be around you. You radiate life and love, two of the best human qualities! Think about it, are you ever alone?" I did think about it, I was only ever alone when I chose to be which was rare. I appreciated Trudy's insight and I liked how it she simplified it without making me feel like a child.
"Do you know anything about human high school?" I flipped through Pet's memories and she went to classes, learning about our history. "No, I don't." I explained to her Pet's memories. "Let's cover these up, the dough needs to rise overnight and we'll bake them in the morning." After we covered the rolls, we cleaned our hands and Trudy told me to wait in the kitchen.
When she returned she had several large books and smiled at me "These were my mother and father's. They are called yearbooks." Trudy began my education of human life before Souls. As we flipped through the pictures Trudy explained to me what Chess Club, Art Club, The Math Team was and what each meant. I understood that high school was used not only to educate humans academically, it was used to educate socially. "Ah, here we go, this is Prom" Trudy pointed to a picture of her parents dressed in elegant clothing holding each other tightly. "It was a dance, to celebrate the end of high school and to welcome in the future" Trudy looked sadly at the picture of her parents. "Trudy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you unhappy"
"Wanda, I'm not unhappy, I just miss normal human life sometimes." Trudy sighed and closed the books. "Why did you want to know about prom?"
"It was something that Rowan said the day we found her" I explained to her the event that had take place. Trudy nodded as she understood Rowan's pain. "We were wrong to come here Trudy. I'm sorry that this has happened"
Trudy patted my hand "Wanda quit apologizing for something that you had no control of. No one blames you. There is one more thing you mentioned, your emotions" she smiled warmly "When you're pregnant the emotions shift quickly, one moment you can be happy, and the next crying. It's normal sweetie. Don't worry about it, we will help you through it" She put her arm around my shoulder and said with a squeeze "It's not easy being human is it?"
"Hey guys!" Lily burst into the kitchen with Lacey following behind her. I rushed to give her a hug.
"We better hurry to the hospital wing Wanda, we found Sunny outside of our camp and she's not well." At that time she noticed my belly "Wanda! When did this happen?!" I laughed at her "You called me dense!" Lily laughed at me and said "Come, we have to hurry."