hey im changing the rating to T because of this chapter

nikki is now 18 and the turtles are 19

about 2 years later:
"Do you think Nikki is alright?" asked Mikey glancing at the entrance to the lair for the tenth time in the last hour

"I don't know Mikey" said don "she sounded really upset on the phone"

"well whatever it is she'll be here any minute so theres no use worrying about it" Leo said calmly

Raph was pacing back and forth stopping every few minutes to twirl his sais nervously "if anyone hurt her" he growled "ill hunt them down and kill them. Painfully"

"Calm down my son" Master Splinter soothed "I am sure she is fine"

just then Nikki burst into the lair sobbing hysterically

"oh my God oh my God oh my God" she shrieked tears streaming down her cheeks "I cant believe she did that why did she do that what am I going to do?" she wailed

"calm down Nikki" said Raph grabbing her shoulders and shaking her gently "what 'appened?"

"She killed herself Raph I cant believe she killed herself" Nikki moaned burying her face in Raph's plastron

"What? Who killed themselves?" Raph demanded

"my aunt, Raph my aunt. She sent me out to get some milk and when I got home she was lying on the floor in a pool of blood. She blew her brains out Raph! I didnt even know she had a gun! Oh God!" she sank onto the couch and buried her face in her hands.

"Are you sure it was suicide?" asked Leo

"yeah" Nikki looked up "I found this next to her its in her handwriting" she tossed a small note at Leos feet. Leo picked it up and carefully unfolded it. He read it out:

dear Nikki
I am so sorry you have to deal with all this
I know I havent been the best caretaker out there
its just that..when your mother Clara died half of me died as well
I didnt want to live without my twin sister
but I knew your mother wouldn't have wanted you to grow up being bounced from house to house in foster care so I stayed. For you
but you turned 18 last week and you're now officially an adult who can make her own choices and live by herself so you no longer need me
I know you found a new family years ago
(Yes I've noticed how often you spend time with the...Hamatos I believe thier name is?)
And thats fine with me you deserve a new family
I hope they can care for you the way I wasn't able to
(if you're that Raphael boy reading this please take good care of her)
goodbye Nikki
your parents, siblings and I will be waiting for you
but please try to live a full life before you join us
love, aunt Rosa

leo finished reading as Nikki burst into tears again. The turtles gathered around her concerned. Master Splinter went to the kitchen to make Nikki some herbal tea. Raph rubbed her back comfortingly, Donnie gave her a quick once over to make sure she hadn't injured herself and mikey gave her some of his secret stash of cookies. Leo put the note away and mikey spoke up "I'm sorry about your aunt. Nikki is there anything we can do?"

"I wasn't good enough for her" whispered Nikki as if she didn't hear him "if I was good enough then she would have stayed"

suddenly Raph stood up "that selfish *****" he screamed in anger throwing a sai so hard it imbedded itself in a wall up to the hilt. Then he turned back to Nikki "its not your fault kiki. Its hers" he said softly "you're perfect just the way you are" he parroted what she had said to him when they first met.

She smiled sadly and then looked away "everyone I've ever cared about is dead its all my fault they don't love me enough to stay because I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" she began screaming "THEY ALWAYS LEAVE ME ALWAYS. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LOVE ME?"

"Cause you're screaming like a maniac?" said mikey trying to lighten the mood

Raph glared at him as Nikki broke down sobbing again

"great job shell fer brains" Raph muttered before going over to Nikki "Nikki" he began nervously "I love you and uh...I've been trying to get up the courage to ask me this since your birthday..." he took a deep breath "will you marry me?"

Nikki gaped at him

"I-I" she blushed "of course I will Raph but..." she bit her lip "are you sure you want me?"

"Of course I want you Nikki" he said kissing her "I'm really sorry about your aunt but I would love to take care of you for the rest of your life if you'll let me"

"Really?" she whispered staring into his bright green eyes

"really" he assured her as they embraced

"awwwww!" cooed mikey from the couch "so, whens the wedding?" he batted his eyelashes at his older brother

"Right after I punch yer lights out" Raph growled

yes yes i know its short

so sue me (please dont i have like no money)

chapter 10 will be the last chapter i think

but dont worry im working on a sequel

toodles!