Gray Ambitions

A/N: Okay, again, this one will get a possible edit, but I wanted to thank all you reviewers for this story. Consequences got really heavy, so I'll be a few days before I get the next chapter up. This one is a bit lighter...well darker, but the subject so far has been less heavy. So hope you enjoy (and I swear more people were happy about Bellatrix's possible demise than I've ever seen!).

Chapter Five

Birthday Wishes

For some reason, Voldemort really wanted to make Harry come to him willingly and not just under the contract he had so expertly drawn up. He was looking forward to his first gift, on his birthday. Then he had a second gift for the day of their wedding. He was looking forward to it. And for the first time in perhaps fifty years, he was looking forward to partaking in some of the more carnal pleasures that he had missed during his insanity. When he had gone to Hogwarts as a young man, he had enjoyed the company of many of his fellow witches and wizards. To him, a beautiful person was worth his time, at least then. Then, the more horcruxes he created, the more his mind drifted and simple pleasures, food, drink, sex, they just seemed far away. And then when he was rendered into soul form only, there was no thought of the physical aspect of life.

He had summoned Lucius to discuss the plans he had for Harry's birthday. Soon enough the blond pureblood entered and bowed to him.

"My Lord?" he quieried.

"Yes, Lucius, I wish to ask what you believe would be a good plan for Harry's coming birthday. As we will be wed shortly thereafter, I would like to make a good impression on my little one," he said with a smirk. "I have a present that I think he will enjoy, but that is a surprise for the party. Now, how should we go about this?"

Lucius thought for a moment. "Harry indicated his birthday was rarely acknowledged by the muggles he lived with. He stays up late on the night before to wish himself happy birthday, according to what Draco has found out."

The dark lord nodded. "Then, let us organize festivities. I would like to surprise my intended, so find a way to discreetly discover who he would like to see on his birthday."

Lucius nodded and left. He went back to find Draco and Harry engaged in a round of wizard's chess, in which Harry was losing quite badly. He called to Draco who followed him into the office.

"The dark lord wishes to surprise Harry with a birthday party, but needs to know who he would like to see there. Do you think you could discover if he has anyone he would like to see come on his birthday?" he asked.

Draco smiled. "I think I can manage that mission, father," he said nodding.

Harry looked up when he went back into the room and gave him a smile. He was starting to feel the press of time, because he knew August 1st, and the end of his freedom, was fast approaching. Despite everything, he hated the thought of being bound to someone without his prior consent. And the whole idea of being intimate with someone was terrifying.

"Hey Harry, so what do you want to do for your birthday? Father said it was next week," Draco asked, resetting the chess board.

Harry sighed. "I guess to see my friends, the ones who will still see me, I guess. And…I don't know. That's really all."

Draco nodded. "Who all would you like to see? I know you haven't see anyone since school let out."

Harry shook his head. "I don't know if they'll be disgusted with me," he said softly. "I mean, I know that Ron knows what happened, I heard Lucius say that he told the Order, so his parents knew, and then so does Hermione, surely they will want nothing to do with me now."

Draco frowned. "If they didn't want anything to do with you, they wouldn't have come to the negotiations."

Harry looked up with a frown. "They were there? Who was there?"

Draco looked thoughtful a moment. "Luna, Longbottom, Granger and the Weasley. They looked positively scandalized at some of the things that were being said."

"I guess I'd like to see them. If they cared enough to come, even knowing everything…" he said, biting his lip idley.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with you, Harry, why wouldn't they want to be around you?" Draco said frowning deeply.

Harry shrugged. "I mean after what he did…and now I'm giving myself up to Voldemort himself…what must they think?" he sighed.

"I'd say they should be quite thankful to you, Harry, quite thankful indeed."

Harry looked at his one-time nemesis. "Why are you nice to me now, anyway?"

Draco sighed. Harry was not going to make this easy. "Well, I decided I was wrong about you, and that you aren't a bad guy."

Harry nodded. "Okay," he said and went moving out of the room.

Harry spent his remaining time alone in the garden. He really didn't talk much to anyone, just spent it in quiet contemplation until the day before his birthday found him once more sitting in the garden. Narcissa came up and sat beside him.

"Harry, dear, you've been distant, do you want to talk?" she asked quietly.

He sighed. "I'm getting married to Voldemort. The person I was supposed to kill. By choice. Does that make me twisted or something?" he asked, staring over the flowers.

"Of course not, why would you think that?" she asked, putting a hand to his back gently.

"He always said…said I was a good little whore, you know," he said quietly, and Narcissa hid the flinch. It was the first time he'd brought up the sexual abuse. "Every time. He'd…he'd tell me it was my fault, that I made him want to…do that to me. That I asked for it. And now…now I'm just handing myself over to be made to…do those things again but for someone else. So that means I must like it, in some ways…"

"Not at all, Harry. Not at all. You've sacrificed everything for the safty of others. No matter what the dark lord does or doesn't expect of you doesn't change the fact that you are perhaps the purest soul I've ever met," she said softly.

"I'm not pure, how can I be? I'm tainted, dirty, used…I suppose it is fitting that I end up with the dark lord, no one else in their right mind would ever be with me," he said with a defeated sigh.

Narcissa wasn't sure how to reply to that. "I know that you have a good heart, Harry. You're giving up your body, your freedom, everything just to keep others from getting hurt."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. But it still hurts that everything will be so different this year. Everyone is going to look at me…and they're going to know."

They sat for a long time. The wedding would take place in two days in the very garden they sat in. But tomorrow was Harry's birthday, and the dark lord had said he had a grand surprise for his intended one. She hoped it would make Harry feel better.

He waited up until midnight, as usual, but to his surprise Remus came in with a single cupcake right before the bells chimed. He kneeled down and smiled at him. "Happy birthday, Harry, I knew you'd be up," he said softly. Harry smiled and thanked him, then fell asleep leaning against his surrogate godfather.

The next morning he woke slow and warm and realized he'd fallen asleep against Remus. He got up and showered quickly. When he was done he found a fresh outfit laid out. He looked out, and Remus was still sleeping. House elf, maybe? He thought. He dressed, a simple set of jeans and a tight t-shirt and shrugged. Well, he headed down for breakfast and found everyone already there. He was wished Happy birthdays all around and then found a smirking Lucius.

"Come, Harry, we have a surprise!" he announced, taking his hand. He was led to the garden and was surprised to see a birthday party, the first he'd ever had.

Luna, Hermione, Ron, and Neville came running up to him, giving him hugs and chattering madly at him. He tried to keep up with them all. He looked up to see Draco and his friends watching with interest.

"Whoa! One at a time!" he said, raising his hands.

"Are you okay? They said you were hurt!" Hermione said with wide eyes. "We went to the negotiations, but Lord Malfoy said you didn't want to come. We hoped to see you."

Harry smiled. "I wasn't up to it yet," he said. "I…I am glad to see you all though! I thought you…you know, wouldn't want to see me anymore," he said glancing downward.

"Mate, whatever would you say that for?" Ron asked, frowning at him.

"I mean, I'm…all that stuff, and now I've got to marry him tomorrow…I was afraid of what you'd think…" he said, still casting his eyes downward.

"Nonsense!" Hermione announced. "I hate that you are doing this, and I wish you wouldn't, but I know you are only doing what you think is best."

Neville nodded beside her. "Yeah, I mean, you're giving up everything to save the rest of us from fighting. That's…pretty bloody amazing, Harry."

Lucius walked up and put a hand on Harry's shoulder. Everyone glanced with trepidation at the tall blond. "Harry, someone has come to bring you a very special gift for your birthday," he said, steering him toward a table in a clear area. There were several presents and a large cake placed on it. There werne't a lot of people, just Harry's friends and Draco's friends, and the Malfoys. Remus was standing to the side watching.

There was a loud pop and Voldemort appeared in front of him. He flinched back unconsciously, even though he was in the visage of the young Tom Riddle. Behind him, he felt the tension rolling off his friends.

"Happy birthday, little one," he said fondly, smiling at him before kissing him gently on the forehead. "I've something special for you. I wanted you to know that I am doing is going to be something pleasant for both of us, Harry. I know you do not trust me, but I am hoping this will go a long way to helping you accept me, and perhaps grow to care for me."

Harry frowned but nodded slowly. He didn't want to admit the rapid drumming of his heart in his chest. To tell the truth, the idea of marrying the man in front of him scared him. Even more than summers with the Dursleys. At least there, he knew what to expect. Voldemort was an unknown.

He took his hand and Harry flinched at the unexpected contact, but Volde…Tom. He was Tom now, not the scary creature in that graveyard. He swallowed and was lead to the table. Tom looked at his smallish intended. He was a petite thing, and he was pleased. He muttered a few words and there was a loud apparition pop followed by a dark haired figure appearing surrounded by a brief gout of smoke.

Harry's jaw dropped and there were gasps all around. "Sirius?" he whispered as his eyes locked with his godfather's.

"Harry!" he said, dropping to his knees and grabbing him in a hug. "Harry, oh Merlin, I didn't believe him when he said he was taking me to you!"

"But, how?" he said, turning to Tom.

Tom smiled. "I'm short one death eater, but the sacrifice was worth it to see you smile, little one," he said fondly.

"I don't…I don't understand, he went through he veil, after Bellatrix cast the curse on him, so how…?" he said softly.

Tom smiled, a genuine thing. "Well, I traded a Black for a Black," he said. "Bellatrix was unstable anyway. Simple trade, blood for blood. Perhaps when I was more insane, her company was appreciated, but her irrationality was getting the best of my current level of patience. You don't need to worry about the way I did it, just be happy, little one, that is all."

Harry just stared at him and nodded, grasping onto Sirius like he was going to disappear. Before long, Remus was embracing Sirius and crying over him. The others were gathered. Then, Tom clapped loudly and everyone watched as Harry opened various gifts and then they shared cake among them. Afterward, they had a huge meal together in the garden. He grinned as Remus and Sirius walked away toward the garden hand in hand.

"Hey, Harry," Hermione said, sitting beside him. "I'm amazed he did that for you."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, that was pretty amazing…"

She leaned her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Harry. I really am. I can't believe the Ministry and the Order actually agreed to this…to basically trade you for peace. Molly and Professor McGonagall were so angry. I think they yelled at the headmaster for an hour after the party left with the contract, especially after…after what he said about what you were expected to do."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, he's pretty specific about what's expected of me."

"What all is expected of you, Harry?" she asked softly. "We never saw the contract for the marriage. He…he said that that was private."

"Yeah, we wrote it up a couple days after the Ministry and the Light signed the treaty. Well, he wrote it and I signed it…he called it negotiation, but there wasn't much to it," he said with a snort followed by a sigh.

"I'm still sorry, no one should be forced into a marriage contract, I know they're common among pureblood families," she said softly.

"Yeah, but a regular marriage contract…isn't so specific as mine," he said softly. "I guess…I guess it's because I'm not marrying a regular person. Here," he said, handing her a folded parchment from his jean pocket. "I kept it with me just so I could go over it."

Hermione opened it carefully and read it silently.

Marriage Contract for Bonding of Harry J. Potter to Thomas M. Riddle, Jr.

This is a magically binding contract. Failure to meet the contract requirements will be met with the repercussions of loss of magical power.
Both parties herein agree to:
Be bonded to each other on August 1st of this year.
Become partners in full accordance with marriage laws.
Have their titles and houses blended in accordance to current laws.
In addition, Harry J. Potter agrees to:
Provide sufficient intimate relations.
Be tracked and monitored at all times.
Wear a visible bonding collar.
Refrain from dangerous activities that could endanger his life.
Allow a Death Eater escort when not in presence of his husband.
Notify in advance of his plans; if this is not done, Tom reserves the right to restrict Harry's activities.
Provide an eventual heir by magical means of bearing a child.
In addition, Thomas M. Riddle agrees to:
Provide a stable home environment.
Allow Harry to finish his education at Hogwarts without unreasonable interruption.
Allow Harry to spend sufficient time with family and friends given reasonable notification.
Not interfere with daily activities throughout the school.
Wear visible bonding cuff.

Below, both had signed, and Hermione could see the shaky signature of her best friend. She swallowed and handed the paper back. "That's a lot to take in, Harry."

He smiled at her. "At least I get to go to school…even if I have to share a room with him and can't go to the dorms anymore."

"It says he has to wear a bonding cuff, but you have to wear a collar? Why is that?" she asked as he folded the paper back up.

"He said my robes would hide a cuff, and since he's the one in charge, he doesn't have to show it so obviously," he said quietly. "We'll trade the bonding jewelry tomorrow. It is nice, though, so it's not so bad."

Hermione held him, and sat for a long time. Before long, she and the others bid him farewell and went home. He waved them on with a sad smile and said he'd see them at the wedding. He stomach knotted at the thought.

Tom eventually came up to Harry and took him by the hand.

"Harry, walk with me, we will discuss tomorrow," he said, leading him away. He didn't miss the fear crossing he face.

They walked away toward a small pond where Tom sat on the grass beside him. "I'm sure you understand what is to happen tomorrow."

Harry nodded. "The bonding ceremony will be in the early evening, there will be a dance and reception, and then we'll go to Riddle Manor afterward," he said quietly.

Tom grabbed his hand again, feeling the tremble. "Are you scared?"

Harry swallowed hard and nodded. "A little. I…I know what is expected of me as your husband. I signed the agreement, after all," he said, and Tom heard the waver in his voice.

Tom didn't speak for a while. Then he pulled Harry closer, nearly into his lap. Harry stiffened but didn't resist. He felt his eyes start to sting though, as memories flickered in his mind.

"Shh, my little one, I won't hurt you," he said, soothing him by rubbing his back gently.

"I'm not a child," he said softly.

Tom smiled, pulling the boy against his chest. "No, you aren't at all, Harry. You are a lovely young man who I will be proud to have by my side."

Harry swallowed and turned to face him, those odd red eyes boring into his very soul. "Why do you want me? Is it just so you can control me, have power over the person that was supposed to be your equal? Is that it? To…to humiliate me...like…like he did?"

Tom frowned. "Not at all Harry. I did want to kill you, but then, I was enraptured by the power you carried in the ministry, and the bravery in the graveyard. Yes, there was a lot about you I desired. And what your uncle did to you…he had no right. Tomorrow you will be mine and he can never touch you again."

Tom felt him trembling again in his grip. "B-but…I'm…everyone is going to say…that I'm…disgusting. I let my uncle have his way with me and then I'm letting you bed me…I can imagine the things they'll say about me…" he said softly, dejected.

Tom frowned, and gripped Harry's chin, turning his face up toward him. "You will hear no such things. You are as pure as a virgin snow in my eyes, Harry. What your uncle did…that was not your choice, and makes no difference to me. Tomorrow I will show you what it means to be appreciated and not used. I promise you."

Harry nodded, but he couldn't hide the fear coursing through him at every touch his soon to be husband. Tomorrow was too soon. "I'm not ready, though, I'm not…"

Tom ran a hand through his hair. "Harry, you will be safe and fine tomorrow. I won't hurt you."

Harry wasn't sure what to do now. He sighed and leaned into the touch, it did feel nice. He felt his head tilted up and Tom kissed him gently. How could the dark lord that struck so much fear into others that his name couldn't be uttered have such a gentle kiss? He responded shyly, his face blushing with color, but it stayed a gentle, chaste kiss. Tom smiled at him and held him like that. He was still scared and not ready for this but what could he do? He'd already agreed to the contract. There was no going back.