Wow, another update! Yay me! :) Hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Chapter VII: The Birds and Bees Talk

*UPDATED*

"You're telling me she caught Pein-sama and Konan, doing it?" Sasori nodded to his partner as they were sitting at the kitchen table. Deidara didn't know how to process that information correctly, but he knew it must've been pretty embarrassing for the two to be walked in on by Hikari.

"She didn't know what they were doing either, and she came to ask me about it." He mumbled, sketching out a puppet on a piece of paper. Deidara blinked when he said this.

"And what did you say, dana?" He paused and glanced at him. Sasori didn't want to say it because it was pretty awkward and he didn't really give the girl the exact explanation to her finding the two on the bed, completely nude.

"Well I…I just said what anyone would've said to a clueless girl…I lied about it." Deidara raised an eyebrow at that; he didn't get it.

"You lied? What do you mean you lied, un?" The puppet master sighed in frustration.

"Don't question me about it anymore; it was bad enough I had to deal with her curiosity alone." But the blond would not have it end there. He needed to know what his partner told Hikari at all cost.

"Oh come on Sasori, tell me what you told her. Come ooooon, hm!" He insisted, getting the redhead irritated. He continued to badger his partner until Sasori finally stood up and slammed his fist on the table.

"Fine I'll tell you! Just shut up already." He grunted, sitting back down. The blond shut his mouth and stared at him, waiting for the redhead to spill it out.

"I told her that, when two people really liked each other, they sometimes decided to get in bed together without clothes…that's about it." Dei gave him a blank stare. Was this guy serious?

"So, you told a grown woman-yeah I know she was a baby a few months ago but still- you told her that they just, laid there naked without doing anything? You think she's that stupid, un?" Sasori's eye twitched and he glared at him.

"Well she seemed to accept it! It's better that she doesn't know what they were really doing, anyway." He went back to drawing his puppet. Deidara pondered that for a while, before he suddenly gasped.

"Wait dana…what if…" Sasori looked back at him. What the hell was he going at now?

"'What if' what, brat?" He asked impatiently; he hated when Deidara delayed whatever he was going to say. He didn't like too much suspense. The bomb artist looked at his partner with a half worried face.

"What if she thinks it's alright to do that with one of us? You know…you just told her that when two people really liked each other-I'm not even sure she understands the concept of love and all that crap, un. So…what if she does that, hm?!" He began to have a little freak out with just the thought that innocent girl getting in bed with a member in there. What if it was Tobi? Kisame?! Oh god, HIDAN! Sasori was no longer sketching as his pencil had dropped flat on the table. His face was as pale as it could get, even with his wooden self.

"Shit, you don't think…" He smacked himself in the face. 'Sasori, you idiot!'

"We better find her quick and really explain it to her, un. Before it's too late." The puppeteer nodded and stood up. The two then left to find Hikari. They went to her room first and knocked. No answer. Deidara knocked a couple more times. Still nothing.

"Did she leave or something?" Sasori said nothing and just tried the knob. It was unlocked. They pushed the door open and looked inside. There was no sign of Hikari there, so they went back to searching.

"Maybe we should split up. That way we can cover the rest of the hideout quicker." Sasori suggested, getting a nod from the blond.

"Yeah, you go check the right wing and I'll check the left, hm. The two akatsuki members then went their separate ways to find the black haired woman.

'I hope to god Deidara is wrong in his assumptions. If I find Hikari in that kind of position I…I don't even know what I'll do. Ugh, I hate myself right now.' The redhead shook his head and began to check every single room he came upon.

Meanwhile, Deidara was doing the same thing on the other side of the hideout.

'Come on Hikari-chan, where the hell are you, un?' He searched top and bottom for that girl, but nothing yet. He opened one room without thinking and paused. Kisame looked over before covering his male thong that had fish prints.

"Hey! Get out you pervert!" Deidara quickly shut the door. "Sorry, un!"

'That'll scar me for life.' He thought with a shudder before moving on. Over half an hour went by and still nothing. Deidara was not only getting frustrated, but more worried as time went by.

'I wonder…should I check Hidan's room? Oh god if she's in there and they're-no. Think positive Deidara, think positive,un!' He coaxed himself and took a long, deep breath.

'Okay, let's do this.' He went off in the direction of the Jashinist's room. It took about five minutes for him to get there, and he stopped right in front of the door. He hesitated, and then gave a knock. There was no answer. He knocked again. No answer.

"Hmm…" He tried the knob, but it was locked. Then, a sound coming from inside startled him. It sounded like a long drawn out moan. His face drained of any color.

'Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, hm!' He started banging on the door now. "Hidan, open the damn door!" There was some shuffling inside and a yelp, before the door swung open and a very red-faced Hidan stood there, glaring at him.

"What the fuck do you want, blondie?" Dei said nothing and just peered behind him into the room. The bed was empty; no Hikari there, thank the lord. He sighed in relief and pulled back.

"I thought Hikari might be with you, hm." He said, earning a confused look from Hidan.

"Why the hell would she be with me?" He shrugged at that.

"Well, Sasori-dana was telling me how Hikari-chan caught Pein and Konan doing it in bed, and when he went to explain it to her it sounded like she could do the same with-" His eyes widened and quickly slapped his hand over his mouth, which was a bad idea because not long after his hand mouth's tongue licked his lips.

"Ergh!" He pulled away with a scrunched nose of disgust. Hidan though, was just staring at him with a blank face.

"So, the brat caught Pein and Konan fucking, and she hasn't got a fucking clue?" Deidara began to sweat.

"Don't get any sick ideas, Hidan. Remember she was just a baby not too long ago!" He reminded. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"You're a fucking retard." He shut the door on his face. Deidara sweatdropped, but then shook his head.

'He better not try anything, hm.' He thought before he left.

Inside Hidan's room, he was wearing a huge smirk on his face.

'So the hottie doesn't think it's anything sexual, eh? This could be my lucky day!' He almost squealed in his mind. He then opened his door and checked to see that Deidara was gone, before he left his room to find the girl.

Sasori ran a hand through his red hair; he still wasn't able to locate Hikari.

'Damnit, where is that brat? Maybe Deidara got to her.' He wondered as he walked down a hall. Just as he was passing Itachi's door, it opened up and Hikari came out of it.

"Thanks, Ita-chan!" She said before heading off in the other direction. Sasori blinked.

"Wha-" He rushed over to Itachi. "What was she doing in your room? Why was she thanking you? What did you do?" He asked with some urgency. Itachi looked at him with a straight face.

"She wanted to know if we all really liked her." He answered calmly.

"And, and?" He urged him on. The Uchiha raised a single brow at Sasori's strange behavior.

"I said yes, we did." That was not what the puppet master wanted to hear. Now Hikari would be sure that she could reenact Pein and Konan's moment with anyone!

"Damnit, why did you say that to her?! She'll think it's okay to get in bed with someone now!" Itachi blinked once, but still didn't seem fazed by his outburst.

"If you're referring to her walking in on Leader-sama and Konan, I took care of that." That made Sasori momentarily stop freaking out.

"…What do you mean?" He asked with caution. He couldn't get his hopes up too soon.

"I gave her the birds and bees talk." Sasori had a poker face now.

"And she bought that? You're sure she understands the whole thing?" The Uchiha nodded his head.

'You…stupid…idiot…why didn't you just do that in first place?!' He thought, regretting having to go through this whole damn thing, worrying, getting paranoid, almost losing his mind when he couldn't find the girl. It was all Deidara's fault for hammering the thought of her being in bed with someone like Hidan in his head.

"Well, at least she knows the real thing now. You don't think she'll try to…you know…?" Itachi shook his head.

"As far as I know, she's safe from that." The puppeteer breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good." Seeing as Itachi took care of it, he left to find Deidara.

'I'm gonna kill that blond bastard.'

Deidara sat down on the couch, feeling exhausted after searching for Hikari 3 hours straight.

"I can't even locate a simple girl in a hideout like this, what kind of shinobi am I, hm?" He shook his head, and then paused when he suddenly saw Hikari come in. Jumping up, he ran over and hugged her to him.

"Hikari-chan!" She blinked in surprise at the sudden crushing hug.

"U-Um, Dei-chan?" He pulled back and checked her over to make sure she was alright.

"Where have you been all this time? I've been looking everywhere for you, un!" She had a clueless look on her face.

"Oh, I didn't know. I was with Ita-chan." That made Deidara freeze in place.

'No, it can't be…'

"A-And what did you to do?" He hesitantly asked, looking as if he was about to pass out.

"We talked about sex." She bluntly answered. Deidara wanted to die right then. Damn Uchiha!

"Hikari, you can't have sex! That is a no-no for you, understand? You…you didn't do it already, did you?" She cocked her head a bit.

"No, Ita-chan said I shouldn't do it until I fall in love." That brought a great few tons of relief to the blond and he sighed.

"Thank god that Uchiha has got some sense." He nodded and wiped a sweat from his forehead. She watched him curiously, before a question popped in her head and she decided to ask.

"Dei-chan, how do you fall in love?" She asked, catching him off guard.

"Fall in love? Well, I don't know, hm." He muttered. "I guess, when you really like a person, and you think you can't live without them, then that's when you know you love them…?" He said, unsure of what he was talking about. The blond never had a chance to crush on anyone, mainly because he was teased a lot because of his hand mouths. So there was no way he could explain to her with confidence how it's like to fall in love with someone else.

"So, if you feel all that, then you're in love with that someone?" She wanted to clarify what he told her. Deidara could do nothing but give a shrug and nod.

"Yeah…I guess, un." He wanted to slap himself. She got that thinking look on her face, before smiling.

"Then I guess I love you." Dei flushed when at her words. Hikari loved him? Was she for real? Maybe she didn't understand it as well as he wished.

"Uh, Hikari I think you're getting mixed up-" He was cut off when she suddenly kissed him. His eyes went the size of saucers, and right then Sasori walked in and paused.

"What the-brat!" He growled and stalked over to them. Deidara quickly pulled way.

"Dana! I swear this is not what it looks like, un!" He began desperately. Sasori glared at him.

"Oh yeah? How do you explain this lip locking I just saw then? I expected Hidan to take advantage of this, but you?!" The blond sweatdropped and looked back to Hikari who was watching them, surprised herself.

"I uh, she got the wrong idea!" He tried to explain, but the puppet master would not hear of it. He had a really pissed off look that could kill.

"Brat, start praying because you won't live after today!" He said. Deidara gasped and quickly ran off. Sasori went after him.

"Come back here, bastard!" Hikari scratched her cheek, not understanding.

"What just happened?" She mumbled, then shrugged it off and left herself to get something to eat.

"What the hell? Tobi said Hikari was here damnit!" Hidan growled, looking around the dark storage room.

"It's too fucking dark here." He grumbled before going over to the door and turning the knob, but it didn't open. It was locked.

"...No fucking way." He jiggled the knob again and again, tried to pull at it, but nothing.

"Fuck me. Hey!" He started banging on the door, hoping someone outside would hear him.

"Hey! Any of you assholes out there?" Kakuzu stopped walking when he heard his voice and looked at the door.

"...?" The waterfall missing-nin approached the storage door. "Hidan?" The Jashinist paused.

"Kakuzu? Is that you out there?" He asked. Hidan never thought he'd be glad to hear his partner's voice.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kakuzu questioned, being answered with an initial groan.

"I'm fucking locked in, I can't get out! Can you open the door?" His partner paused. Hidan locked in the storage room? And he can't get out? Hmm...

"I don't know, I have to count some money. Maybe I'll come by and get you out later." He said, smirking under his mask. Oh yes, revenge was sweeeeeet~

Hidan paused. Did he just say what he thought he say?

"No, fucking damnit Kakuzu! Get me the fuck out of here now you asshole!" He cursed. Kakuzu glared at the door. Well, he ruined his chance.

"Good luck getting out of there by yourself, idiot." He said before he walked away. Hidan blinked a few times.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait Kakuzu! Don't leave me here please!" He started to bang on the door again.

"Goddamnit you fucking heathen, Jashin will fucking smite you for this, mark my words! Kakuzu!"