Katja wondered why Erik was still in his room. He hadn't been out since the night before when he comforted her. Was he back to sulking again? But why?

She sat at the piano and began practicing again. Hopefully this time it would draw him out. Katja allowed herself to get absorbed in the music. It was actually far easier than she ever expected. No wonder Erik had this happen all the time to him.

Suddenly a hand fell on her shoulder. Katja yelped in surprise. "Es tut mir Leid," he murmured. "Would you like me to join you?"

"Ja, bitte."

He sat next to her, his fingers flying across the keys. Her own playing was clumsy and just plain awful in comparison, but he didn't seem to take any notice. Eventually Katja quit and just listened to Erik play, her head resting on his shoulder.

Erik hesitantly put his arm around her waist. "That song you played, will you play it again for me?"

Her eyes locked with his for a brief moment. "Ja," she whispered before beginning to play the melody.

"Are there words?" he asked when she finished. Katja nodded. "Will you sing?"

"There is a castle on a cloud,
I like to go there in my sleep,
Aren't any floors for me to sweep,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

There is a room that's full of toys,
There are a hundred boys and girls,
Nobody shouts or talks too loud,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

There is a lady all in white,
Holds me and sings a lullaby,
She's nice to see and she's soft to touch,
She says, "I love you very much."

I know a place where no one's lost,
I know a place where no one cries,
Crying at all is not allowed,
Not in my castle on a cloud."

Her voice was soft and untrained, but clear and pure. It wasn't strong enough to be of performing quality, but it was still angelic. "That was beautiful," he told her.

"Mein Vater taught it to me," she whispered. "Before his wife told him that I wasn't allowed to learn anymore music."

"Why didn't she want you to learn it?"

"Because," Katja sighed. "She thought it was a waste of time. She wanted me to do something useful like cleaning, cooking, or sewing. Things she said I'd actually need to know. "

"I've never understood why people deny their children music, especially when it's easily accessible. If your father knew how to play, I see no reason why he couldn't have taught you."

Katja shrugged. "She wanted me to know how to run a household, for when I was married." She suddenly felt a wave of emotion. Leaving a bewildered Erik behind, she ran into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Erik wrapped his arms tightly around her shuddering body as she buried her face in his shirt. It had been the fourth time in as many nights that she had woken up screaming. "I'm sorry," she murmured into his chest. "You never get a chance to sleep with all my nightmares."

"I've never needed that much sleep," he replied, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded. "Just don't leave."

He rubbed her back gently. "Did you want to talk about them? It might help."

Katja began to cry again. "He ruined me Erik."

"Just because he raped you doesn't mean you're ruined," he murmured.

"You don't understand," she moaned, wrapping her arms tightly around her stomach. "He did things to me that he could never do to you."

The movement wasn't lost on Erik. When Katja had her nightmares, she would always beg for someone to not do something, then she would scream, and when she woke up, her arms would go to her stomach. It suddenly clicked. She was reliving something over and over again. "What did he do to you?" Erik asked softly.

"He ruined me," she repeated with a sob. "After what he did, I can never go home. I can't face my family. I won't be able to have a normal life. Even if I wanted to, I can't because of him. He took it all away from me."

"What did Javert do to you?" Erik pressed. It was time to try Nadir's technique of prying. "What was so bad that you seem to think you can't go home to your family?"

Her blue eyes filled with such sadness that Erik was afraid if he looked into them too long, his heart would break. "He poisoned me," she whispered.

"Poisoned you?" he repeated.

"I can't…If I ever go back, I'll be expected to get married, but I won't be able to."

Erik was still slightly confused on where this was going. "Why not?"

Her voice was barely audible when she finally spoke. "Because when you're married, you're expected to have children."

His eyes widened, finally understanding. "Katja….I… I don't know what to say."

"It could have been a year, it could have been three, but I had been trapped there for God knows how long when I started getting sick. It was nearly a month before he figured out what was wrong with me," Katja sobbed. "Javert had gotten me pregnant. He was furious. He beat me like he never had before, then he had one of the other gypsies make him some sort of concoction. He forced me to drink it. It was some sort of poison. I had a miscarriage and the woman who gave him it said that it would never happen again."

"Katja…" Erik stared at her in disbelief. "Oh God…I just don't...I'm sorry."

She was crying again. "I'm ruined. No man will ever want me."

"I'm sure that's not true." She just shook her head violently. Erik swallowed hard. Katja needed something to comfort her but his words just weren't enough. He gently lifted her chin and closed the gap between their lips. "I know it's not true," he whispered when they broke apart.

"Erik…" she whispered breathlessly before throwing her arms around him and burying her face in chest.

German Translations

Es tut mir Leid-I'm sorry

Ja bitte- Yes please

Mein Vater-My father