Cat's POV
I grab my notebook and lat on my stomach on my bed. Nobody knows it but, yes I do keep a diary. It's just a way to get everything out. It helps me feel better about the thing I don't like to talk about. There things I don't want to tell anyone yet. I look down at the notebook and begin to write.
Dear Diary,
7-3-13
It's been about 2 weeks since we got down here. Robbie can't seem to keep his eyes off of me. Jade and Tori say I need to tell him soon. I just don't know when to do it. Anyway, tomorrow is the 4th of July. I can't wait! I love the fireworks. We're going to have a barbeque and go swimming. I even went out and bought a bunch of glow sticks. They're so pretty. Well, I guess that's all I have to say now. Bye!
I stare down at the half written on page. I close the notebook and put in under my bed. It's kind of an oblivious place to hide it, but I have always hidden things so well that people won't even look there. I get up because I just can't sleep. It's about 12:30 so everyone else is sleeping. I slide off my cloths and throw on one of my bikini's I open my door slowly and walk down the stairs.
I grab a towel and sweatshirt out of the dryer and slip out the back door. The lights in the pool were on so the area around it had a blue glow to it. The moon was bright so it shimmered on the ocean and lit the sand. It was beautiful. I walk over to the hot tub and turn it on. The bubbles start to come to the top and the vibrating sound starts to quiet. You can hear the waves crash on shore. I put my towel on the steps and step into the warm bubbly water.
I sit down and all of the muscles in my body relax. I just needed some time to think.
Robbie… I know I like him but what am I going to do about it. He keeps looking at me. I can tell he likes me, and I'm practically in love with him—scrap that, I am in love with him. I just don't know how to say it. I'm convinced that's why the guy makes the first move. Ugh… I just need to relax.
I lower my head back and let my scalp get wet. I sit for a couple more minutes and eventually get up. I dry off and put on my sweat shirt. I walk out to the sand on the beach and spread out my towel. I sit on it and stare out at the water. I think about everything until I hear someone say, "Can't sleep?"
I nod knowing who was asking. Robbie comes over and sits next to me. I pull my knees up to my chest and hug them.
"Me either." We sit in silence for a little while.
"Robbie, I miss L.A." I let go of my knees and cuddle up to his chest. I wrap my arms around him and refuse to let go. I'm always so comforted in his arms. He rubs small circles on my back and wraps one arm around me.
"Me too Kitty Cat. Me too. But you're here with all of your friends, having the best summer of our lives. You're surrounded by your family. No, not your mom, but me and Jade. All of us are here." He whispers to me. It was comforting knowing that he would be there for me. "You should miss L.A. It was your home. But for the summer you should enjoy your life away. Be a kid again, have fun." He didn't let go, instead he let me stay in his arms until I felt like leaving.
Rain drops start to fall. "Come on, let's go inside."
"You can. I want to stay out her." I smile still looking out at the water. Instead of going inside, he stayed by my side.
Robbie, can I ask you a question." I said looking at him. He nodded. "Please be honest." I look back out towards the ocean. Here we go, "How long have you liked me?"
He stays silent for a minute, "Since the first day I met you, 11 years ago."
I pull my legs back up to my chest and hug them close. "Oh."
That was all I could say. I couldn't get it out. I couldn't say it. I wanted to, so badly, but I just couldn't! I lay back and look up at the stars.
"How long have you know?" He asked me.
"Really, only about 2 weeks. Jade though you did, but I never saw it. Then when we were at the pool, and you kept staring at me, that was when I figured it out."
"Oh." He said. I wanted to act on it, but I didn't want to ruin anything. I role onto my side towards Robbie and cross my arms over my chest. My eyes shut because of exhaustion. The last thing I hear is Robbie say, "You are Beautiful." Then it all goes to black.
The next morning I wake up the sun was just coming up over the horizon. I had my arm wrapped around Robbie's waist, my body touching his. My eyes completely open to see what I was doing. I freak out, but then I realize I shouldn't wake him. I slowly lift my arm and roll over.
I sit up and hug my knees to my chest. I quickly stand up and run into the house. I make a pot of coffee and grab two cups. When the coffee is done I pour it into two cups and add milk and sugar to one. Robbie likes his coffee black so I leave his like that. I grab a blanket and hold it under my arm. I take the coffee out to the spot we were sitting at. I stick the cups in the sand and sit down. Robbie rolls over and opens his eyes.
"Hey, you're up." I nod and hand him the cup. He takes it and w cover ourselves with the blanket.
"So, 11 years, huh?" I give him that flirty smile. He smiles back and I giggle.
"Yes, 11 years. Is that bad?" Robbie chuckles.
I shake my head no. we both sit sipping out coffee, making small talk and avoiding the liking subject.
"Happy 4th of July, by the way." He says.
"Oh yea, that's today! Happy 4th of July Robbie!" I yell and give him a kiss on the cheek. I do that often so he shouldn't think much of it.
Ok, so maybe tonight I'll tell him. It's a holiday, its nice, we're closer than we've ever been. Why not tonight, right?! "Ok, Cat, you can do this!" I think to myself.
First I'm going to have to get Jade and Tori to distract the guys. Maybe go to one of the bond fires. Then I'll tell him. I just don't want to be watched…
My heart starts to pound at this thought. I take the last sip of my coffee bring my cup up to the porch and slide off my sweatshirt. Robbie just stars at me. I smile at him, then jump into the pool. I just need to clear my head, distract myself… Robbie follows and we spend out morning in the pool.
Hopefully tonight will be as good as it is in my head…