Chapter 3
Izzie felt Ji-hu's eyes on her, but didn't chance to look at him. She kept her face composed as if she was enraptured in the performance (which, admittedly, was absolutely brilliant) all the while her mind reeled with the information she had learned.
Her benevolent, music-loving doctor had been Yun Ji-hu, chairman of Korea's greatest foundation for the arts, grandson to the late, former president, Yun Seok-young and the other half of Jun-pyo in the F4.
And also the man in love with Jun-pyo's fiancée, she thought, twisting her program in her lap as one of the dancers performed a leap that caught her breath.
Despite the way Jun-pyo had brushed off her concern that morning, she still wondered how everyone could acknowledge that Ji-hu was in love with Jan-di and act like it was still perfectly natural for him to be in the wedding. Of course she knew without a doubt that nothing and no one could turn Jan-di's head from Jun-pyo, and a quick coffee with Ga-eul that afternoon had been enough to discover that Jan-di had in fact rejected Ji-hu's proposal years before.
Her heart twisted and she finally snuck a glance toward Ji-hu, who now seemed to be content watching the performance. How anyone could reject such a beautiful face surprised her, but, of course, she had to concede Jun-pyo was just as handsome and so physical appearance couldn't be the only deciding factor. Though Jan-di was sweet, she was also incredibly stubborn and very vocal about her opinions on right and wrong. Izzie chuckled as she thought about one of the arguments between Jan-di and Jun-pyo that she had finally had the opportunity to witness in person. They really were an excellent match. Certainly there was no way the stoic doctor would ever be able to match Jan-di's expressive nature.
Izzie became distracted from her musings as the show drew to a close, her attention swept away as the bright, colorful dancers representing many different fairytales twirled across the stage in a grand finale. When the dancers took their final bows she automatically rose to her feet as she began to applaud, joining the others in shouting 'bravi' and 'encore'.
"Beautiful, wasn't it?" Ji-hu leaned over to speak in her ear so that he could be heard over the crowd. Izzie gave an involuntary shiver that she covered with a nod as his warm voice tickled the skin of her neck.
"Absolutely incredible!" she beamed and was surprised when he responded with a full smile. Izzie felt like all of the air had been stolen from her lungs as his entire face transformed, the stoic beauty replaced by an almost boyish charm that made her knees weak. She felt mesmerized for a moment, until Yi-jeong called for their attention.
"So ladies and gentlemen, the gallery sent over the wines they would like me to sample and select for the exhibit opening. The night is still young, and I would very much appreciate assistance in choosing the right bottles."
"You know I'm in," Woo-bin agreed, exchanging a handshake with Yi-jeong.
"I assume you'd like to keep Ga-eul company as her boyfriend drinks too much?" Jun-pyo asked Jan-di.
"Oh, please, Jan-di! I haven't seen you in so long," Ga-eul added, reaching her hand for her best friend.
"Of course."
"Wonderful! Then Ji-hu? Come on, someone needs to escort beautiful Miss Izzie."
"Oh no, really, I should probably – " Izzie began to refuse, but was interrupted by Jun-pyo.
"You're coming, Bear. That's an order."
"There? Can't be insubordinate to your boss! Ji-hu you can't leave her to find her own way." Yi-jeong grinned at his friend and Izzie could clearly see why he was the group's 'Casanova'.
"Perfect. Jan-di and I need to say goodnight to a couple of people and then we will see you there."
"I – " the couple was out of the box before Izzie could object, with Yi-jeong, Woo-bin and their dates right on their heels. Suddenly, Izzie and Ji-hu were left alone, and she had the uncomfortable suspicion that was the full intention of the group.
"You really don't have to escort me. I am fine taking a taxi."
"There's no sense in riding separately to the same destination. Unfortunately, we will have to wait for a car. I rode my motorcycle, and I doubt you would feel very comfortable riding on the back in your gown."
"Really? I would love to! I miss my bike. Jun-pyo thought it would be best if I wasn't driving around Seoul right away." Though at the time Izzie had fought the decision, now that she was in the city she realized the wisdom of Jun-pyo's judgment.
"Well, if you're sure – "
"Oh I'm sure," she interrupted with a grin. She could already imagine the wind whipping at her skin and the hum of the machine. She started toward the door when Ji-hu stepped in her way.
"Miss Wagner," he said formally as he held out his arm for her to take. Her heart skipped slightly and she felt the sudden urge to blush as she took his arm and let him lead her from the box and into the milling crowds outside. As expected, when people saw them they immediately cleared a path, exchanging whispers and gasps as they watched the famous member of the F4 pass. Izzie was gripped by the sudden whimsical image of a snowflake falling through the night sky as Ji-hu, dressed entirely in pristine white, guided her through the sea of black tuxedos until they reached the coat check. He retrieved his helmet and gloves (white, naturally) while she waited for her satin trench.
Once their personal effect had been delivered, Izzie followed Ji-hu out of the building and to a specially designated spot where his bike was waiting.
"You're positive you don't want to take a car?" he asked as he retrieved a second helmet from the bike.
"A little case of helmet hair is not going to ruin my night," she responded with a grin, taking the helmet and carefully sliding it on her head, relieved that she had requested a simple up-do from her stylist that afternoon. She buckled the strap under her chin before gathering up her skirts and taking her place behind him on the bike.
"Now don't you dare go slow just because I'm on here," she shouted to him as she pressed herself to his back and wrapped her arms around his middle. She felt him chuckle as he revved the engine and took off into traffic.
Izzie sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head on Ji-hu's back as she enjoyed the ride. While she had never ridden as someone else's passenger, Izzie found that the experience was almost as exhilarating as driving. Her mind instantly cleared as she focused on the cold wind cutting through her jacket, chilling her to the point she felt that the wind was going straight through her body. She hugged Ji-hu a little tighter and sighed with joy as she leaned into each turn and felt her stomach dip as they crested hills. He seemed well acquainted with little-used roads, as they managed to maintain speed and barely encountered any other vehicles as they raced through the city. Too soon, however, the bike began to slow and finally stopped in front of a large building, emanating bright light.
Izzie reluctantly let her arms fall and dismounted from the bike, shaking out the skirt of her dress before unbuckling and removing her helmet. She shook out her hair, feeling some bobbie pins loosen and fall as she did, but she was too delighted to care. She handed the helmet back to Ji-hu, who was watching her with a curious expression.
"What? What's wrong?" she asked, touching her hair to check if it was flying in embarrassing directions. He shook his head and almost smiled.
"You should tell Jun-pyo you need your bike. It relaxed you faster than the music."
"Oh, that's a toss up, actually. You didn't play any of the violin pieces yesterday. I don't think I've ever found something more cathartic than that third sonata on the playlist."
"You really liked it?"
"It was like he was completely baring his soul! So much vulnerability, and pain, but then the final movement was just...uplifting. I didn't recognize the style of the composer, though, and it's been driving me crazy."
"It's an original composition by the artist."
"Oh, really?" She flinched as headlights suddenly illuminated them and they shifted onto the path leading to the studio as Jun-pyo and Jan-di pulled into the driveway.
"Hey, Ji-hu! What are you thinking taking Bear on that death machine of yours?" Jun-pyo asked as soon as he exited his sport's car, crossing to open the door for Jan-di.
"Ji-hu-ssi is insisting I get another motorcycle so he has someone to ride with, boss."
"Absolutely no way."
"Jun-pyo!" Jan-di admonished.
"If you want to ride a death machine you can ride with Ji-hu. At least he can sew you back together when you lose a limb," Jun-pyo grumbled as he put his arm around Jan-di's shoulder and led the way into the house. Ji-hu shot Izzie a curious look and she rolled her eyes.
"JP was doing some research and he accidentally did an image search for 'motorcycle accidents'. He's been horrified by them ever since," Izzie explained as she followed on the heels of her curly-haired superior.
"I understand," Ji-hu said as they walked into the studio.
Immediately, they were greeted by the other half of the F4, who already had a large assortment of wine glasses poured and waiting on the table. Before Izzie could find a place for her jacket she felt it slip from her arms as a glass of red wine was pressed to her hand by Woo-bin.
"You remind me of a pinot noir," he said, lifting his own glass of red and swirling the liquid under his nose.
"How so?" she asked then gasped as he suddenly stepped behind her and breathed into her ear.
"Heady perfume, tantalizing sweetness and a voluptuousness that makes your blood run warm. I believe they've captured you perfectly." Izzie took a sip of the wine to compose herself before a devilish smile spread on her face.
She turned slightly to Woo-bin, looking up at him through her lashes. "You know, Master Sommelier Madeline Triffon calls pinot 'sex in a glass'."
"Mm, does she?" His hand settled on her waist and she leaned just a touch closer.
"Indeed. So drink up, because it's the only satisfaction you're going to get." She stepped away from him, walking to the wall of lighted cubbies, each containing a different piece of pottery. She glanced back over her shoulder and Woo-bin lifted his glass to her, laughing merrily at her rejection. She returned her attention to the pottery, well aware that she was looking at works of world-renowned master potter Yi-jeong. She spent time studying each piece, searching for the details that made them special, but she found that she simply couldn't spot what made them superior to any other vase or bowl.
"So what do you think?" She turned and found the potter smiling at her, and her stomach dropped slightly.
"About the wine or the work?"
"The wine. I know these pieces are boring. It's why I sit them here, so I can stare at them while I work and push myself to be better."
Izzie barely stopped herself from sighing with relief, instead matching his sweet smile.
"Well, the wine, I think, is outstanding. I would definitely recommend this pinot. It's complex, without being pretentious."
"You have excellent taste," he complemented and for some reason it felt to Izzie like the highest praise he offered. "It's a good thing she's the one planning your wedding," he turned and called to the group before turning back to her and speaking more conspiratorially. "Jan-di's taste is so simple, and Jun-pyo isn't satisfied unless there are actual fireworks."
"Hey! Fireworks are cool!" Jun-pyo defended, causing the group to laugh.
"Yi-jeong is right. Thank you so much, Izzie-ssi for working so hard to plan our wedding. I hope the work is not too difficult for you." Jan-di bowed her head and Izzie inwardly flinched, but covered with a smile.
"It's my honor to make the most special and beautiful day for both of you. I will work hard to make sure everything is perfect." She bowed her head to the couple, swallowing hard and blinking back the stab of pain she felt as she maintained her false smile. She was thankful that someone else immediately picked up the conversation and she was excused to drain her glass and reach for another, darker red wine. She was pleased to find it was a cabernet sauvignon and she closed her eyes to savor the dry, full-bodied wine. Stepping quietly away from the group she began to wander the studio, the feeling of peace she had achieved on the short motorcycle ride now gone.
"Penny for your thoughts?" She jumped at the sound of a soft voice, and immediately Ji-hu set his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"No, it's all right. I was just trying to give this cabernet my full attention. Have you tried it?" For a moment she thought he was going to call her out on her clearly contrived excuse, but he instead tilted his own glass slightly.
"I favor white."
Izzie snorted, then immediately slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to laugh, it's just...well, of course you prefer white." She felt like an idiot, and mentally kicked herself for babbling until he gave another full smile.
"You're right...my preferences are rather obvious. I am a creature of habit."
"That's not necessarily a bad thing. It means you're dependable, constant. Your group needs someone who's serious and steadfast to keep you all grounded."
"You've surmised this in one evening?" He looked dubious, and Izzie wondered if she had offended him.
"Well, I may have only been introduced this evening, but Jun-pyo has been filling my head with F4 stories for four years now."
"And after all these stories, what is your conclusion?"
The wine was startling to tingle in her blood and Izzie answered his question without her typical reserve.
"Well, as I said, you are the most solid and consistent member of the group. You embraced that quality of your nature a little too much, though, and strove to become marble, cold and impenetrable. I think you've realized, though, that you've kept your passion and feelings locked away too tightly and now you're starting to chip away at your façade and shape it into something that's both sturdy and...forgiving."
"That's what you think, based on Jun-pyo's stories?"
"Mmhm. You are very difficult to read, but I don't believe you're as inscrutable as the other guys think. I'll bet, with a little time, I will see right through your poker face and know exactly what you're thinking." She softly poked his chest, just above his heart, letting her finger rest on his jacket for just a moment before she realized what she was doing. She blushed and chuckled weakly, pulling her hand away and securing it on her wine glass.
"Well, then. That's me. What do you think of rest of the F4. Tell me your estimation of Yi-jeong and Woo-bin."
"Ah, Casanova and Don Juan. Obviously those two make a pair the same way you and Jun-pyo do. Yi-jeong is a true artist. He's smooth and charming always, and when he's at his best he's sweet and doting. At his worst, however, he's temperamental, moody and even a trifle cruel. He may not be as tempestuous as Jun-pyo, but I would wager that he is the most prone to recklessness and needs to be watched the closest when he's in a foul mood. I pity his former lovers, as I'm sure he was sincere when he promised them the world, but just as sincere when he told them they were unworthy of it. It's wonderful that he's found Ga-eul. She and Jan-di both, I think have had a profound effect on him and I believe over time that impact will become increasingly obvious."
She looked for any clue that he had an opinion about what she said, but he merely inclined his head, inviting her to continue.
"Woo-bin, I'll admit, makes me a little sad. He seems like a lost little boy, that is trying to avoid the path that he knows is in front of him instead of changing that path. He, more than any of you, rely on the F4 as his family, and I would bet he is the most protective of each of you individually and collectively. I think the three of you become blinded by his jokes and easy-going nature and miss the times he's just shielding you from his hurt and fear. If you three would work together and support him, I think he would have the confidence he needed to walk away from his father's choices and find a path that he wouldn't be ashamed to follow."
Izzie felt like her heart would pound out her chest as she finished talking, and she took a large drink of wine to drown her self-censure while Ji-hu looked toward Woo-bin, who was spinning around both Ga-eul and Jan-di. Jun-pyo grabbed for Jan-di's arm and pulled her to him, both laughing as she clung to him for support.
"So then. What of Jun-pyo?" Izzie looked back to Ji-hu, whose gaze, now refocused on her, seemed unsettlingly intense.
"Well, now, he doesn't count. I've known him for years. Of course I know him."
"All of his faults."
"The very long list, yes."
"And all of his strengths."
"He does have several of those, unfortunately."
"So, then, how long before you fell in love with him?"
"Not lon-what? I...I don't..." Izzie felt her cheeks grow hot and her throat constrict as her mouth became dry. Finally, she met his knowing eyes and let her guard fall.
"I think I fell for him the first day I knew him. I told him he was full of shit about something he was bragging about and he was so affronted that I would dare question him publically. We got in this huge argument in the middle of the line for the salad bar at the school's dining hall, and by the time we were at the check out we were laughing so hard I couldn't see to swipe my card. After that he plagued me constantly, always wanting my opinion or wanting to brainstorm. Looking back now, I think he just missed having someone to fight with and call him out when he was wrong, but at the time I thought it was because he liked me too."
"Then you found out about Jan-di."
"Yes. But by then it was too late. I had already dumped my boyfriend and committed myself to being by Jun-pyo's side, no matter what."
She took a long drink from her glass, watching the couple talking across the room, laughing and clearly teasing one another.
"And that pledge includes moving to Korea and planning his wedding," he said it more as a statement then a question, but Izzie answered anyway.
"Apparently so. But, since I do organize his entire professional life, and most of his private life as well, it only makes sense I would plan the wedding. I'm the best person for the job."
"Do you really believe that?" The look he gave her brought unexpected tears to her eyes; though his face remained almost completely still, behind the skepticism there was also sympathy. She blinked away the moisture and raised her chin.
"Of course I do. I can separate my emotions from my work. I will work harder than anyone to make sure they have perfect wedding."
"Hm," was all he said as he wandered toward a glass wall, staring out at the patio and, beyond, an empty field.
"Look, I have never said anything to Jun-pyo and never intend to. I know he is head-over-heels for Jan-di and I would never, ever do anything to get in the way of their happily ever after." She set her now empty wine glass on a nearby worktable and crossed to him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face her. His eyes widened slightly and his lips parted as she stood toe to toe with him, her heels allowing her to only tilt her head up slightly to look him squarely in the eye.
"You of all people should understand wanting someone else's happiness so badly you are content to sacrifice your own. But I would rather not have anyone else ever learn about my little...situation, so please, can you forget we ever had this conversation?"
She held her breath as she waited for his response, silently pleading for him to agree.
"No, I can't."
"Please, Ji – "
"I cannot simply pretend I don't know what your feelings are. I will promise, however, that I will not say anything to anyone. I will carry your secret."
She sighed in relief, pressing her hands on his lapels as she bowed her head. "Thank you, Ji-hu-ssi. I –"
"So this is where the kids have gotten to."
Izzie's eyes went wide as she realized Yi-jeong and Ga-eul were grinning at them, the rest of the group approaching as well. Izzie and Ji-hu immediately stepped apart and Izzie was somewhat relieved when Ji-hu looked just as nervous as she felt.
"So, Ji-hu, what is Izzie-ssi thanking you for, hm?"
"Oh, Ji-hu-ssi was kind enough to agree to help me with some of the wedding details."
Everyone looked at her with a mix of dubious suspicion and curiosity, and Izzie knew she needed to sell the lie.
"Really, I needed someone who knew Jan-di well that could help me with some of the plans and Ga-eul with your class trip, I just didn't want to trouble you. Ji-hu was kind enough to offer his assistance."
"This way Jan-di can focus on her studies," Ji-hu added, his voice as serious and unfathomable as usual. This seemed to be enough to convince the group and they shrugged or muttered their disappointment that the two of them hadn't been engaging in a more interesting activity.
"You're so busy seonbae...are you sure you have the time?" Jan-di asked as the other friends returned to the bar to retrieve new glasses.
"Oh, it shouldn't take very much time at all. There are only a few small things I need his help on, like, finding more bridesmaids!" The idea suddenly struck Izzie and she turned to Ji-hu with a smile. "Ji-hu is going to help me get the right women to stand with Jan-di, right?"
"Ji-hu...you weren't suggesting Seo-hyun-eonnie, were you?" Jun-pyo asked, his smile slightly crooked. Jan-di immediately shook her head.
"Of course not. Besides, she will never come back to Korea."
"She will for Jan-di's wedding. She will if I ask." Ji-hu's voice was colder than Izzie had previously heard, and when she looked between the three, feeling very much like she was missing something very important happening.
Seo-hyun...why is that name so familiar?
"Seonbae – "
"Would you like her to be in the wedding?"
Jan-di looked near tears, but she gave the slightest of nods and Izzie felt more than heard Ji-hu sigh.
"Very well. Izzie and I will convince Seo-hyun-eonnie to come back to Korea for the wedding. Now, if Izzie is ready to go we will take our leave. There is a lot of planning to be done."
"Um, of course. Have a good evening everyone. Thank you, good night!" Izzie quickly trotted behind Ji-hu, smiling and waving at everyone as she grabbed her trench and struggled to keep up with Ji-hu's long strides. He was out the door before she finished buttoning her jacket, and she tied the belt as she bolted outside, looking around for him as she hurried to where he had parked his motorcycle. She stopped and back-tracked, however, when she saw the bike stood alone, and a long white figure stood leaning in one of the brick alcoves that formed the wall of the studio. His eyes were closed and his head was tilted back to lean against the hard surface. Izzie hesitated then stepped toward him, leaning her back against the wall next to him.
"Do you want to tell me what can of worms I inadvertently opened in there?" she asked after a moment.
"Min Seo-hyun is the woman I loved for the first 15 years of life I can remember."
"Oh." Izzie cringed, but it was the only thing she could think to say. After another moment Ji-hu lowered his head, staring blankly in front of him.
"She was big sister for all of the F4, but for me, she was much more. I'm sure Jun-pyo told you about my parents' car accident; Seo-hyun was the only person that made me feel like I shouldn't have died with them. It took me 15 years and a big push from Jan-di for me to admit my feelings for her. But that was only after she announced she was leaving Korea and her modeling career to make a life for herself as a lawyer in Paris."
"So, you were too late?" she asked and he gave a mirthless laugh.
"I don't think there would have been a right time. I loved her too long as an idol – I've realized that's not the same as loving someone as a woman. I followed her to Paris, and after a while I came to realize that her caring for me was a burden. So I left."
"And you...haven't spoken since?"
"Barely. She called me 15 times the day I left. Appropriate, I thought. I didn't answer, though, and since we've only exchanged a few messages. I haven't spoken to her since the day I left."
"Well, if that's the case, why would you even offer to ask her to be in the wedding? Surely you can think of someone else?"
"She's the first person to show Jan-di the kindness she deserved. And she's special to Jun-pyo as well."
Izzie was suddenly seething. She couldn't shake the suspicion that Jun-pyo had brought up the name intentionally, though she had no inkling as to why he would want to torture his friend. She vowed, however, to get to the bottom of his game first thing in the morning. In the meantime, however, she was going to do as much damage control as possible.
"I don't care if that woman has cured cancer – I don't think she's appropriate for the wedding. And you said she was a model? I won't stand for a bridesmaid that's prettier than the bride. It's just inappropriate. Oh! How about Gu Jun-hee! She took Jan-di under her wing too, right? Why don't we ask her?"
"Jun-hee-eonnie is already married." Ji-hu finally looked at her, but at this point she was pacing between the two windows that flanked their section of wall, her mind whirling.
"So she's a bridesmatron. We do that all the time in the US."
"Yes, but she's not currently in a state that would allow her to feel comfortable as a bridesmaid."
"Just because she's married? That's ridicu – what?" Ji-hu was giving her a strange look, shaking his head.
"She's pregnant."
"Oh."
"Right."
"I see. So if a married bridesmaid is non-traditional..."
"A pregnant bridesmaid would be scandalous."
"Damn," she cursed, scuffing her heel against the wood walkway. "Doesn't Jan-di have any female friends?"
"There was an exchange student who was her friend when she first entered Shinhwa Academy."
"Great! Where is she now?"
"After giving Jan-di a drug to make her pass out she posted pictures all over the internet to make it seem that Jan-di had been unfaithful to Jun-pyo and slept with another man."
"Seriously?"
"Apparently she had been in love with Jun-pyo when they were children. He had called her fat and ugly so she fled the country, had countless surgeries and came back with the hope that now Jun-pyo would love her. It was...not pretty."
"Okay, well crazy back-stabbing BFF is out. Anyone else?"
"Jun-pyo's former fiancée, Ha Jae-kyung."
"Really? Does anyone not fall in love with Jun-pyo?"
"Apparently not," he said and for the first time Izzie saw a hint of his humor returning.
"Touché." She shivered and Ji-hu straightened, stepping towards her and brushing her arm.
"This is not a problem you can solve tonight. Let me take you home. The dilemma will not have changed tomorrow."
"I'm not giving up, Doc. I'm going to figure this out."
"I believe in you."
Izzie stilled. She looked up and her breath caught at the sincerity in his eyes. For a moment, she could see past the hard exterior and into the heart of the man that had been hurt again and again, since he was just a tiny child. Her heart ached for that man that locked himself away so tightly, thinking it would make him impervious to more pain. For some reason, that hurt, damaged man putting his faith in her felt like the most precious gift she had ever received, and she was humbled by the fragility of it.
"I won't let you down," she promised and he rewarded her with a ghost of a smile.
"Come on. It's late." He turned and started walking to the motorcycle, his hands buried in his pockets. They put on their helmets and mounted the bike in silence and when they took off Izzie was too lost in thought to experience the same thrill she had earlier in the evening. It had been only 48 hours since she had met Ji-hu, but she felt pulled to do something to find some happiness for him.
Please, he doesn't deserve any more disappointments. Let me find a way to help him. Let me bring him the happiness he deserves, she prayed as he sped through the sleeping city.