Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.

Oneshot Twenty-Two

Typically, Cat Refers to Felis Catus

At six years old, Ran just knew that she and Shinichi would be friends for life. He could be rude and a jerk, but he always made it up.

It was only now that Ran was starting to glean an idea of what being friends with Shinichi meant. Unfortunately, she was still too young to properly handle this information.

Or maybe the tiger in her living room had broken her brain.

". . . It's a tiger." In her shock, her voice came out as flat and rather unimpressed sounding. The cocky demeanor being exuded by Shinichi, who was standing next to the uncaged, unbound at all tiger, slipped in exasperation at her tone.

The tiger, surprising docile despite its situation and general nature, fixed Ran with a stare that made her squirm with the feeling that she was disappointing it. Or maybe because it was potentially sizing her up as its next meal.

"Yeah, well, you were sad that your mom left." Shinichi shrugged as if that was explanation enough.

"So you got me a tiger?" Ran tried and failed to connect the dots.

"Well, you like cats, and holding fluffy things often makes my mom feel better when she's sad. I just figured that since you're really sad, you would need an extra-large fluffy thing."

Even though she was only six years of age, Ran found herself disturbed by Shinichi's logic. Worst of all, that it made sense. Tigers shouldn't make sense.

Nevertheless, Ran was a considerate child, and realized what a big gesture this was by her smart but weird friend. She smiled shakily at him, though her eyes never left the tiger.

"Thanks." She couldn't quite muster the enthusiasm to sound genuine, but in this case it was fortunate that Shinichi had a tendency of being oblivious to the feelings of others.

Shinichi continued to stare expectantly at her, unblinking gaze as unnervingly intense as the tiger's.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to hug it?"

Omake:

Ran was saved from having to make contact with the beast by the entry of her father, who had returned home early and promptly freaked out at the sight of a big cat, sweeping a still-dazed Ran and a disgruntled Shinichi into another room and barricading them in.

Animal control was called and the tiger was found a new home in an animal sanctuary. Only thirteen men died in the epic battle that ensued before the mighty feline was subdued.

Mouri Kogoro hated Shinichi from that day.

Kudo Yuusaku, who helped his son pull off his hare-brained scheme to get his best friend a tiger, found himself banned for life from Siberia. Hawaii would rue the day that he was.

Shinichi got a hug from Ran, who still has yet to hug a tiger to this day. And everybody lived happily ever after. Except the men who died, because they were dead.

A/N: I'm sorry, don't mind me, this is just the kind of stuff I write when it's early in the morning and I'm in pain.