*Dan's POV*
"So Dan, how's things with you and Philip?" Pj asked as I grabbed the popcorn of the shelf in the corner shop down the road. I shrugged, not wanting to say too much in public.
"Fine I guess..." I replied, trying to distract myself with choosing fizzy drinks.
"Have you guise... You know, screwed?" He continued.
"Pj Oh my lord you can't just ask that!" I retorted, slapping him hard on the arm.
"Why not? I'm just curious!.. Does that mean you have?" I replied by blushing, "You have, haven't you?!" He cried, his face contorted with laughter.
"Omg, it's not even that funny Peej, calm down..." I quickly ushered him out of the shop, ran back to pay then walked home, in awkward silence.
"Phil, I'm back bubs." I called as I entered the living room, Him and Chris were sitting next to each other on the sofa, watching Doctor Who.
"Heya." He called, not turning to look at me- To engrossed in the TV.
"I bought Pez..." I teased, taking it out of the bag and shaking it. He quickly stood up and ran round the sofa to stand next to me, kissing me quickly on the lips. Then I remembered... Chris was watching us.
"Gimme!" He cried, snatching them from my hand and holding them tightly to his chest.
"Chris... We can explain." I choked, staring at the ground. Pj walked in, looking confused by the scene.
"Oh yeah Chris, they're screwing." Pj laughed, taking a seat next to Chris and slapping him hard on the thigh, he didn't look shocked at all.
Awkward sleepover was awkward.
*Phil's POV*
"NO, Chris- Stop." I cried out, realizing what I was doing.
"Wha—What's wrong?" He whimpered, staring down at his hands again. "I know you're bi Phil and I know you like me... Pj told me."
"I used to like you, yeah, but it was just a crush and oh fuck. What have I done?! FUCK." I screamed, leaping up from the sofa and slamming my hands into my eyes, trying to block out my stupidness.
"Why does it matter? It was just a kiss, no harm done..." He chuckled, turning towards me and swinging his legs off the sofa.
"You don't understand! Dan... Dan's my boyfriend and now... Look what I've done! How could I be so stupid!" Chris stared at me, tears filled his eyes.
"Ohgod, I'm so sorry Phil, I shouldn't have- I don't even fancy you! I just thought maybe Pj would... I'm stupid. I'm so sorry." I sat down next to him again, keeping my hands covering my face and hiding the angry tears staining my cheeks.
"It's okay Chris just... Because of Dan's relapsing, what if he finds out? He's gonna hate me and he can't hate me Chris he's the best thing that's ever happened to me-" I grabbed my chest and started panting, so this is what a panic attack feels like? "I-I-Can-t-Loose-Him." I choked.
"Phil calm down! Okay? It'll be fine, I'll cover for you, if he finds out, I attacked you and oh fuck I'm sorry... BREATHE GODDAMIT." He shouted,
rubbing my back. "Do you have a paper bag?" He asked, more calmly than before. I gestured towards the kitchen, trying to regain my breath.
"What did you say about Peej earlier?" I asked, my breath only catching slightly in my throat now that I'd calmed down a bit.
"I didn't say anything about Pj..." He smiled, blushing into his lap.
"You fancy him don't you?" I laughed. He nodded quickly and turnt away.
"Look okay, if you want to tell Dan it's up to you, but do you reckon he'll understand? It was just a stupid kiss and I forced it upon you."
"I don't know, I'll think about this more when you and Pj go home... Is it okay if I just pretend to Dan that I told you about us?" He nodded, and I heard a key slot into the door.
*Dan's POV*
I tend to get all deep and meaningful around the times of relapse, I just question life in general and what I'm doing with my pitiful existence... Every time those kind of thoughts come into my head, I have Phil to keep me grounded, almost to give me a reason to live. Then he told me the truth, he told me it had been eating away at him for weeks, He'd kissed Chris. He kissed him. He cheated on me.
"That's no excuse Phil, you fucking kissed. How could you do that to me?" I screamed through tears, Phil's face a mirrored image of mine, tears everywhere, pain and anguish clear in his eyes.
"It was just one kiss Dan... I don't have any feelings for him okay. He kissed me, I... Dan I love you, please don't leave me."
"Is that seriously all you can think about? Yourself?! 'Please don't leave me.' Pathetic. You love me? No. You don't cheat on someone you love Phil. I don't know what's worse, the fact you did it or the fact you kept it from me for weeks." He didn't respond, but I knew that once the words were out of my mouth that I hadn't meant them. Who was I kidding, I needed him as much as he needed me but trust is an issue... I don't trust easily, once trust with me is broken, I doubt it will ever be repaired. Phil just stood in front of me, sobbing, his hair falling in front of his face. I don't even remember how we got here, standing in the living room, screaming at each other. I kept staring, my face softening slightly; I didn't want him to cry, no matter how much I despised him right now. "Stop crying and go to sleep okay?" I whispered, staring at the ground. I heard him shuffle out of the room, I'd only seen Phil like this once before, and that was when I relapsed last. I decided I'd try and get rest, but instead of sleeping with Phil I slept in my own room that night... I say slept, it was more like twisting and turning restlessly for hours. I heard my door creak open around 4 in the morning.
Phil stood in the doorway; he'd removed his t-shirt, probably because it was soaked in tears. He shuffled in slightly, his head hanging as low as it would go. I could see the shadow of his jet black fringe in the moonlight.
"Dan, I'm sorry." He choked, scratching at his arms, I was sure it'd leave marks. "I need you okay, no matter how pathetic I sound it's the truth. Forgive me if I'm wrong but you need me too. I love you, I can't live without you. I refuse to live without you. Please can we give this a second chance? I know you find it hard to trust and I don't expect you to trust me anytime soon, but please don't throw away what we have. We can fix this. It's not too late."
"Get in here you twat." I sobbed, throwing back the covers. The moment I felt his warm body up against mine, I was happy again. What he was saying was right, I don't want to lose him... I won't. I'll try my hardest not too.
*Phil's POV*
I didn't deserve it but he took me back. I was going to rebuild his trust if it killed me, which it might just. I didn't care, he was worth it. I held him that night as he sobbed in his sleep; I whispered sweet nothings into his ears until he calmed down, awaking minutes before dawn.
"Quick Dan get up." I whispered, pulling him out of bed by his hand. I dragged him into the kitchen, half asleep, and made coffee. I then carried the coffee and him up the one flight of stairs onto the roof. "Watch." I said finally, handing him a cup of coffee and taking his other hand in mine. A sudden burst of light shone through the grey clouds, illuminating the sky turning it a hazy orange colour with streaks of yellow and blue and the brightest of pinks mixed in. The sky looked like an unreal painting. I looked down at mine and Dan's hands, his knuckles were red from where he'd been lashing out last night, still healing scars scattered his skinny arms. I looked up to his face, quickly scanning his bare chest before settling on his eyes, a deep brown colour and remarkably beautiful despite being quite common.
"What are you staring at?" He laughed, finally turning away from the sky now that it had settled into a more blue colour.
"You." I responded, placing my coffee mug on the ledge and grabbing his waist, pulling him in for a hug, holding his waist as tight as possible. "Stop being so flawless okay, it's not fair." I giggled, pulling back slightly and looking back into his eyes.
"Me? Stop being flawless? Never." He winked. "I'm kidding; my imperfections are scarred all over my body. Unlike you, you're too good to be true."
"They aren't imperfections, think of them as battle scars, and one day you'll look back on them knowing that you've won the war." I smiled up at him, tracing my fingers lightly over his arms. "Of course you are flawless my dear, in my eyes anyway." I leant up and kissed him on the lips, softer than normal, scared he'd reject me I guess.
"I love you Phil." He whispered, silent tears rushing down his cheeks.