Chapter 2

Harry decided to put her plan into action just after lunch; Sherlock was busy doing experiments so she coaxed her brother into taking a walk with her. She wanted to get him alone.

They headed for Paddington Street Gardens and sat down on the nearest bench; it was clear to Harry that she would have to make an intervention if anything was going to happen.

"So," she prompted, trying to sound nonchalant. "You already know about my love life at the moment. My girlfriend's called Danielle, if you want to know. But what about you? Any girls at the moment?"

John shook his head. "No, not since...before...you know. The last one was Jeanette."

"Ah, the boring teacher?" she asked with a grin, remembering John telling her how Sherlock had described the woman as such.

"Yeah," John replied, feeling a surge of affection for his flatmate. If he was honest, he was glad that this wasn't an issue anymore. But he knew exactly who he wanted to be with.

"What about...Sherlock?" Harry asked gently, looking at him carefully. He shook his head.

"No, he's still single. Probably always will be..."

"Unless someone were to...do something about that," she replied, and he looked at her. She smirked. "John, it's plain as day. Don't insult my intelligence by pretending you have no idea what I'm talking about."

He looked at her fearfully; if she had noticed, did that mean Sherlock had too? "Well...nothing will ever come of it, surely. He told me he's married to his work, and...not interested. He thinks the whole thing's dull."

"People can change, John. Look at me," she reasoned. "You know what I used to be like. I lost Clara because of my own stupidity; I don't want that to happen to you." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe Sherlock is more inclined to this than you think."

"He doesn't...he's not interested in relationships," John admitted, though it pained him to do so. "If I tell him, he'll probably say so. And then what? I'll lose my best friend. He means a hell of a lot to me..."

"I know he does; I've seen the way you look at him. It's quite obvious; maybe he's picked up on it too, as observant as he is."

"And he's choosing not to say anything...probably because of how I used to make a scene when people assumed we were a couple. I did it every time...so now it's what I want and I can't even go after it."

He leaned over with his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. "When did it all get so messed up?" he groaned, and she put her arm around him.

"Maybe, on some level...you've always felt like this. It's like that cliché...you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Maybe this is the case here. It was only when you thought he was dead that you realised what you feel. And you thought it was too late."

"It's too late anyway," John sighed. "He just...he thinks that love is some kind of weakness. A disadvantage. And you know what? Maybe he's right...if it happened, then it would hurt even more if something happened to one of us."

"John...even if you never get together you'll still feel like this. So it'll hurt anyway," she informed him. "I don't know...when I arrived earlier, I saw the way he looked at you. And he was perfectly pleasant to me. Like he's trying to impress you. Surely that's something to think about?"

"Maybe it's just guilt for leaving me alone," John mused. He just couldn't let himself hope that his friend might feel the same. It was just too much to hope for.

"You know you don't believe that. You're just trying not to get your hopes up," Harry mused, smiling at him. "Look...there are two options. Either things stay the way they are and you end up constantly wondering what might have been. Say something happens to Sherlock and you're alone again, this time for good. You will always wonder what might have happened if you'd told him."

"And what's the other...?"

"You tell him how you feel," she said simply. "And either he turns you down and you can put it behind you, or...it turns out he feels the same and you find something really special. It could be everything you've ever been looking for. And if he does say no, I have faith that he'll at least be tactful about it. He's changed now...he won't mock you."

John looked out over the gardens; she had a point. But he wondered if Sherlock would even believe him, as resistant to the idea as he used to be. "I don't know," he said eventually, leaning back. "It's a hell of a lot to think about...I've never...with a guy before..."

"I know. Until Clara, I'd only been with guys. I guess some people don't get these feelings until they meet one particular person. For me, it was her. For you..."

"It's my crazy flatmate," he replied, smiling a little. "I guess I could do worse...and probably not better..." That was true; none of the women made him feel like Sherlock did.

"He does care about you," Harry told him; she was certain of that. "So...are you going to tell him?"

John bit his lip. "I don't know yet," he admitted. "I need to get this through my head first, before I can..."

"Alright. Take your time. Are you heading back to the flat, or what?"

"No, I think I'll stay out for a bit," he replied, and she nodded.

"Okay, but be careful. Or Sherlock will have my head because I left you alone. Next thing you know, it'll be in the fridge."

He smiled and watched her leave, thinking things over. He knew that she was right; maybe something good would come of it if he admitted his feelings to his flatmate. But he had so much to lose and wasn't sure it was entirely worth it.