Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.
Oneshot Twenty-Seven
Respecting Wishes
Shinichi leaned on the bar counter, staring ahead at nothing and trying desperately to tune Heiji out.
"An'– an' den dis guy jus' walked up ta me, an' ya know wha' happened next?" the western detective slurred.
"He died?" Shinichi guessed, desperately wishing the slight buzz from his single drink was enough to make his fellow detective's company pleasurable.
"Nah! He died, dat's what! So den I . . ." No longer capable of resisting the urge, the lighter skinned young man bashed his head against the counter. It turned out that Heiji was incapable of holding his drink. Though there was also the fact that, in celebrating his twentieth birthday, and that he had decided to go straight for the hard liquor on an empty stomach probably didn't help his alcohol tolerance.
"–So if I ever have a child, I'm gonna name it somethin' cool. Not like dese lame names ya hear all da time like– like Taro, or John–" Shinichi blinked, wondering where Heiji had pulled a name like that out from, "–or somethin' stupid like, umm, like Conan!"
The eastern detective glowered at Heiji with enough malice to curdle marrow, although Heiji was blissfully oblivious to his friend's rapidly sinking mood in his current state.
"If I had ta name it somethin', it'd be da best name ever. I'm thinkin' 'Awesome Detective Son Guy. On Fire.'" Heiji tacked the last part on as an afterthought before he started losing consciousness. Come the morning he would not remember the details from his birthday night, Shinichi was certain of this.
If only he could claim the same.
Line Break
Years later, Shinichi stood in the hospital room, awkwardly cradling Kazuha and Heiji's firstborn child. He had been honored by his best friend to witness the miracle life, much to his discomfort. The only reason the Heisei Holmes had consented was because of all the shit he had put Heiji through back when he had been shrunk.
But seriously, eww.
The new parents were even now engrossed in an argument despite their fatigue and the overall momentous occasion, hence why he was currently holding the newborn boy. Although it looked more like a rat at the moment than a human, in his opinion; were all babies this ugly after being born?
"Uh, we were hoping we could get the rest of this taken care of in reasonable time. It's almost our break," a bemused nurse spoke up, addressing Shinichi since he seemed to be the only sensible non-hospital personnel in the vicinity. "Do you think you could break their spat up?"
Shinichi looked down at the infant in his arms, a memory that had been mostly forgotten coming to mind.
"Actually, Hattori already told me what he wanted to name him."
And that is how Heiji's son became Hattori Awesome Detective Son Guy On Fire. Kazuha shouted at Heiji some more, the latter was pissed and didn't speak to Shinichi for two whole days (the eastern detective was satisfied with the short break from his best friend while it lasted), and Awesome Detective Son Guy On Fire grew up to become an angry and rebellious teenager who ran away to the USA.
By the time Heiji tracked down his son, the younger Hattori had already become a successful rock musician in the States, owing his success entirely to his unorthodox name and the angst stemming from it and his perceived father issues.
Awesome Detective Son Guy On Fire then died at the age of twenty-seven from alcohol poisoning. Everyone agreed that it was the perfect way to go for him and that with a name like his it was really a merciful end to his life.
A/N: You know how I said updating would be slow? I lied. Every time I say that I end up in a mood where I don't want to do anything but write. (It also helps that I only get two hours of sleep an average night.)
This seemed like a really good idea at the time. And by really good idea, I mean that as of writing this it's the wee hours of the morning, I'm in pain, I haven't gotten more than five hours of sleep this week, and I've been busy all day working on an organic farm and stuff.
That, and I have a stupid sense of humor.
Blue told me to upload this even though I cringed upon looking back on it hours after I wrote it, so blame her for having to read this.