Chapter 10

Ji-hu felt like a fool.

He buried his face in his hands in the backseat of one of Jun-pyo's cars as the driver pulled away from the mansion. Izzie's voice calling his name still echoed in his mind as he fought back bitter tears.

She was still leaving.

Even after what had happened in Paris she was still planning to leave him behind and return to New York.

He felt his stomach roll and thought for a moment he was going to be sick as the emotional roller coaster he had been trapped on for the past 48 hours began yet another loop around its vicious track. He had been just as panicked as Izzie when she had told him about Jun-pyo and Jan-di's disappearance, but had hidden his own feelings to help Izzie focus and overcome her own. He had clutched her hand almost the entire flight, the feel of her skin the only thing that reassured him that everything would be all right. All of his anxiety had then eased when he reached Woo-bin and realized that his friends were fine, but immediately his ire had risen when he discovered the reason for their disappearance.

Rage swelled in his chest as he thought back to Jun-pyo's cool demeanor, a stark contrast to the doleful bride he had found in Jun-pyo's kitchen. Jan-di had looked at him so sadly when he walked into the kitchen, her typically bright eyes dimmed.

"Seonbae," she had said, her mouth not tilting in its customary smile when she greeted him. "Did you just return from trip? I'm making lunch, if you would like some. Are you hungry?"

"No, thank you." She had nodded then resumed cutting the green onions that were on her cutting board.

"I understand congratulations are in order?" he had asked and he watched carefully as her shoulders sank.

"Oh. That. I guess you were told, then." She had refused to meet his eyes, but her knife stilled on the board. "I'm sorry, seonbae. After you worked so hard...I should have fought harder. But...it happened so fast – "

She had stopped talking when Ji-hu finally crossed to her, pulling her into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Jan-di," he had said, holding her close, waiting for her to relax.

"Why would you – "

"Because, for once, I was too far away to hear your emergency bell. I'm sorry."

She had pulled away after just a moment, returning to her cooking, talking quickly as she prepared lunch.

"No, it's all right. After all, we wanted to get married, so it's not like anything bad happened. I just...well you and Izzie went to so much trouble. And...we haven't told his mother – "

"Jan-di. Why?" She had paused for a long moment after his question before she finally sighed and turned to meet his eyes.

"Things have been hard for Jun-pyo since he returned from America. He worked so hard to build up Shinhwa Group the right way, but since he's come back there has been...resistance. When things became too bad, he asked Izzie to come to Seoul to help, instead of managing things from New York as she had been. More than anyone, he relied on Izzie to be his support, especially with Jun-hee's current...condition.

"He was barely holding it together these past months. I think, with Izzie spending so much time on the wedding, he felt a little lost. When she said she was leaving...everything fell apart."

"And so he gave up the wedding," Ji-hu had murmured as Jun-pyo's behavior over the past months began to make sense.

"Mm. Feeling the time tick by until Izzie left was worse than her being gone, so he is letting her go now."

They had stood in silence a moment, Jan-di allowing Ji-hu to process what he had told her. His heart had been screaming for him to reassure her that Izzie wouldn't leave, not now when they had admitted what they felt for each other, but instead he had turned his focus back to Jan-di.

"But, after everything, did you really want to give up your wedding?" he had asked her and Jan-di had frozen for a moment before she had given him a sad smile.

"It surprised me, but after we signed the contract I really felt...disappointed. I was sorry Jun-pyo would never see me in my wedding dress. I was sorry Ga-eul wasn't there. After everything...I was even sorry the F4 wasn't all together for their leader's wedding."

That had been the moment Ji-hu had heard enough. He had taken Jan-di's hand and marched back to Jun-pyo's suite, ready to demand his friend follow through with the wedding.

His stomach turned again as the car came to a stop, and it wasn't until the door beside him opened that Ji-hu was shaken from his reverie. He exited the vehicle as he thoughts returned to the moment he had opened Jun-pyo's door and heard Izzie already convincing Jun-pyo to have the wedding. He sat on one of the benches in his courtyard, staring blankly at the fountain in front of him as he held his chest, as if he could protect it from the memory of Izzie saying she really wanted to return to New York.

He had lost her.

Just like Jan-di. Just like Seo-hyun, his grandfather and his parents, though it was, of course, through no fault of their own. He was being left alone, once again, and just like each time before he felt as though he was being crushed.

When will you learn your lesson? When will you stop being greedy and be happy to be alone? he asked himself as his throat began to constrict.

It was a question he asked himself over and over until he was standing in a drawing room, ignoring the jokes Yi-jeong and Woo-bin were exchanging as they waited for the groom, Jun-pyo, to join them. Ji-hu checked his watch, noting that the ceremony was scheduled to begin in ten minutes. He unconsciously began to pace, his mind calculating the time until he could return home and isolate himself in his misery.

He had quit his position at the hospital, unable to force himself to go to work when the sight of people made his stomach turn. He had removed the battery from his phone and after the first couple of visits, his friends had given up trying to solve what was wrong with him. Though he knew they were trying to show they cared, Ji-hu refused to speak with them about anything deeper than superficial, retreating back to his own world so he could nurse his wounds privately.

"Ji-hu, sit down. You're making us nervous," Yi-jeong spoke up, and though it interrupted Ji-hu's musings, he ignored his friend's request.

"Seriously, you're more tense now than at Jun-pyo's first wedding," Woo-bin added, reclining in his own seat.

"At least this time you won't be asked to break any arms," Yi-jeong quipped, causing Woo-bin to chuckle.

"Mm. And hopefully the Witch won't have Jan-di kidnapped again."

"As if Izzie would let that happen? She has a contingency plan for everything!"

Their discussion faded in his consciousness again as they heaped complements on Izzie and her planning. Of course, everything they said was true. Every detail of the wedding was inimitable, and he had overheard the guests complementing everything from the flowers to the pre-ceremony hors d'oeuvres. Even Kang Hee-soo, Jun-pyo's mother, had looked pleased as she had been seated, surveying the hall with the hint of a smile on her lips.

"Ji-hu? Are you listening?"

"Hm?" he turned back to Yi-jeong, who was exchanging a concerned look with Woo-bin. The latter stood and crossed to Ji-hu, clapping him on the back.

"What's up, buddy? You've been acting strange all week."

"Have I?"

"Well...not strange. You've been acting like yourself," Woo-bin admitted when Ji-hu stared at him, causing him to back off and look to Yi-jeong.

"Are you ever going to tell us what happened? Seo-hyun-eonnie said you won't even speak with her. Jan-di just keeps saying we shouldn't be concerned."

"She's right." Ji-hu crossed to an easy chair, grabbing a book from the coffee table and opening it to a random page. He watched from his periphery as his friend exchanged shrugs and returned to their seats, just as Jun-pyo walked into the room.

"Hey! Who are these lazy bastards?"

"Jun-pyo!"

Ji-hu remained seated as the others stood and greeted Jun-pyo, their laughter grating his nerves as they patted the groom on the back.

"Hey, Ji-hu, what's with your face? Did someone tell you this was a funeral?"

He scoffed at his friend's joke, tossing his book back to the coffee table as he stood. "If it was a funeral the man of the hour wouldn't be running late."

"Oh relax! I had some important business to take care of. No one will say a word about it." Jun-pyo's grin was mischievous, and Ji-hu recognized that there was something behind it. Despite that knowledge, he had no interest in investigating what Jun-pyo's 'business' had entailed.

"Of course not," he murmured as he walked towards the door. "We should go."

The three other men exchanged looks then collectively sighed, walking out the door toward the ceremony hall. They took their positions and entered the room, smiling at the guests as they walked down the aisle, taking their places by the altar as the music began to change.

"Hey Ji-hu, didn't you want to ask what was so important that I would be late to my own wedding?" Jun-pyo whispered and Ji-hu had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

"Is now really the time?" he whispered back while perfectly maintaining his smile.

"Hm, I suppose not. I just thought you would be interested."

"I don't need to know of your business, Jun-pyo," he whispered back as the lights lowered in the hall, his irritation growing.

"Really? As you wish. I'll tell Jan-di I was right then, about your interest in Izzie."

At her name Ji-hu immediately tensed, his curiosity finally piqued.

"What are you talking about?" his exasperated whisper was concealed by the murmuring of the guests as Seo-hyun appeared in the doorway, dazzling in a navy gown that shimmered with crystal stars.

"For some reason Jan-di was adamant I tell you immediately that I offered Izzie a position as a vice president. She seemed convinced that would be important to you."

"And?" Ji-hu waited, holding his breath in anticipation.

"And what?"

"Did she accept!?" Ji-hu forced another smile as he realized a few heads had turned at the sharp tone of his question.

"Hm? Of course she did. The deal was far more generous than anything she would have been offered by the U.N. or State Department. Besides, she mentioned something about having something important stolen that she couldn't bear to leave behind."

Ji-hu's heart hammered in his chest and the world seemed to slow as Izzie appeared in the doorway to the hall. He reminded himself to breathe as she smiled shyly at him then stared straight ahead as she passed the rows of guests to take her spot by Seo-hyun. Ji-hu's mind buzzed with the information Jun-pyo had given him and he couldn't stop himself from staring at her.

She's staying, she's staying, his mind repeated over and over as he met her eyes, their green made even brighter by her plum gown, though even the crystal encrusted bodice could not compete with their sparkle. Though she was smiling, Ji-hu could see her apologize and he longed to cross the aisle and pull her into his arms, assuring her that he would always forgive her. Instead, he forced his eyes back to the aisle, watching as Ga-eul took her place and the guests stood.

Jan-di's face was truly radiant as she clung to her father's arm and walked down the aisle. His memory retraced their years of friendship, but without the familiar patter of his heart that used to accompany all thoughts of Jan-di. He glanced at Jun-pyo and almost laughed at the expression on his friend's face as he stared at his bride, almost as if he was watching a celestial being approach instead of the 'commoner' he had fought so hard to marry. Ji-hu glanced toward Izzie, who was watching the couple with a giant smile on her face and he felt his heart swell, though his mind warned him to be cautious.

Don't be rash. She may be staying, but that doesn't mean you know her heart. She may just be staying for the position.

Doubt crept into his mind and the depression he had experienced the previous days ate at him, while hope tried to buoy his spirits. He waited impatiently for the officiant to move through the customs, desperately wanting to speak with Izzie and sort things out once and for all. He nearly missed his cue to present Jun-pyo with Jan-di's ring as his mind screamed for emcee to announce the end of the ceremony. An eternity passed before Jun-pyo was finally given permission to kiss his bride, and for just a moment Ji-hu was once again captivated by the events of the wedding.

His heart swelled with joy as he saw Jun-pyo and Jan-di kiss, laughing with the other guests as she batted him away when he tried to prolong it, blushing furiously as he led her back down the aisle. He started to step forward to escort Ga-eul after the couple, but Yi-jeong suddenly passed him, offering his arm to his cerulean-clad girlfriend and shooting Ji-hu a wink. His momentary confusion was replaced by elation and he stifled a grin as he stepped forward to meet Izzie at the altar. She tentatively threaded her arm through his, and he set his hand over hers, squeezing it tightly as he practically bolted past the rows of guests, down the hallway and out the doors to a patio he had recalled from their tour of the wedding hall.

"Ji-hu, wait! You went the wrong way, we're supposed – " he cut her off with a kiss, pulling her into his arms the way he had wanted through the ceremony. She dropped her bouquet and slid her arms around his neck, leaning against him as he held her tightly, afraid that if he loosened his grip even a fraction she would disappear. After a moment she pulled away, but Ji-hu didn't let her retreat more than a few inches.

"Bonjour," she whispered and Ji-hu laughed. "I...I take it you talked to Jun-pyo?"

"He told me, but I want to hear it from you." He finally released her, steeling his heart as he waited for her to speak.

"Well...Shinhwa Group offered to make me vice president of corporate organization and development. Which was basically Jun-pyo's way to keep me as his personal assistant, but give me more responsibilities and a fancier title." She spoke quickly and Ji-hu could see she was just as anxious as he felt.

"And...you accepted."

"I did."

"So, you aren't going back to New York?"

"How could I when my heart's here in Seoul? With...with you." She said it so softly, so vulnerably that Ji-hu couldn't stop from pulling her into his arms, hugging her tightly as she continued to speak, picking up steam as she went. "I didn't want to go. Honestly, even when I told Jun-pyo I was going to leave, I didn't want to do it. I was just desperate and...scared."

He pulled away enough to study her face. "Why would you be scared?"

"Because I...I was falling for you. And, I mean...well, obviously you're attracted to me...but I didn't know if you could ever feel the way I did about you. And then, when you thought I was leaving, just like Seo-hyun and Jan-di, I thought you wouldn't trust me."

"But, you aren't leaving."

"Well, no. I'm not."

"And, really, you followed me."

"I...what?" The look of confusion on her face made Ji-hu chuckle as his anxiety dissipated, making the events of the past weeks clear in his mind.

"You followed me to Paris. Even though I told you not to, you still came. Why?"

"Well...I told you, I hadn't had a decent pastry in ages," she said with a smirk before she continued. "I couldn't let you go. I didn't want you to go through seeing Seo-hyun again alone."

Ji-hu watched as she began to realize what she was saying, her smile turning shy as she reached the conclusion.

"I didn't want you to ever be alone."

"How could I not fall for a woman like that?" he asked, brushing his thumb over the curve of her cheek.

For a moment he thought she might cry, then suddenly she pulled him into a kiss. He gasped as Izzie's tongue grazed the roof of his mouth and he grasped her hips as her arms slid under his jacket and she pressed herself to his body. His thumbs moved to rest in the valleys of her pelvis, his pulse quickening as he recalled the matching swallow tattoos he knew decorated her skin. He nibbled her lower lip and smiled as she mewled in pleasure, before sighing himself as she pressed against him in a way that made his blood rush and his breath ragged. His mind began debate whether or not he could lock the patio doors when he heard them open.

"Oh, there you are! We were...oh!" Ga-eul squeaked, her hand flying over her mouth as she, Yi-jeong and Woo-bin walked onto the patio. Immediately Yi-jeong broke into a wide grin and Woo-bin smirked, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah, that's my boy!" he exclaimed, immediately causing Izzie to bury her face in his chest as Ji-hu felt his face flush.

"Ji-hu, I have to say, I never thought you had it in you. Now, I believe that was 50,000 won, right?" Yi-jeong asked his best friend and Woo-bin's expression faltered.

"But you said after the wedding – "

"I said after the wedding day. The reception's just started. Pay up." Yi-jeong put his arm around his furiously blushing girlfriend and held out his hand to Woo-bin. The latter growled as he reached for his wallet, shooting an accusatory look at the woman who was now giggling in Ji-hu's arms.

"You promised! You couldn't wait until after the reception? Aish!" Woo-bin whined as he handed Yi-jeong the money and Izzie finally raised her head.

"It was...out of my control, Woo-bin. My sincerest apologies," she answered, grinning as she wrapped her arms around his middle.

"Guys, we need to get back, they're waiting on us for the toasts," Ga-eul interjected, tugging on Yi-jeong's jacket, unable to look at Ji-hu and Izzie without her face reddening.

"All right, all right, we're coming. We'll leave first. See you lovebirds inside," Yi-jeong teased as he ushered Ga-eul back into the building.

"Unless, you two wanted to finish first?" Woo-bin asked with a wink as he followed the others inside.

"They're right...we do need to get inside." Izzie began to pull away, but Ji-hu kept her firmly in place. She looked up at him, the confusion written on her face as he smiled at her.

"It occurs to me...you only promised to stay through the wedding."

"Yes, but – "

"And we've already tasted the cake, the champagne."

"We have..." she trailed off, waiting for him to continue with a sly smile.

"Well, I was thinking instead of listening to a jazz quartet we've already heard, perhaps you would rather go for a ride?"

The smile that bloomed on Izzie's face made his heart race and he laughed as she grabbed his hand and pulled him in the opposite direction of the door.

"It'll be quicker if we cut around to the front! Let's go."

Ji-hu let himself be dragged along, glancing back at the windows to the ballroom where his best friends' reception was taking place. For a moment he thought he saw two women smiling out at him: one wearing navy, the other in white. They disappeared from his view, however, as he turned back to Izzie, grinning when she wondered out loud if the noodle shop would still be open.

I'll never forget you, Seo-hyun, Jan-di. Thank you, he thought as he led Izzie to his bike, chuckling as wrestled the helmet over her hair and gathered the skirts of her gown.

But I think it's time I try having someone's heart in exchange for my own.

As Ji-hu began to drive he felt her arms tighten around him and her head rest against his back. He smiled as he accelerated, hope blossoming in his chest that maybe, finally, things were going to work out in his favor.