Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.

Oneshot Twenty-Eight

Best Frienemies

"Yoohoo, Yukiko-chan!" The chipper greeting startled Yukiko, who ended up spitting her mouthful of tea right into the face of her husband, who sat across from her at the table. He howled as the hot liquid sprayed across his face and somehow managed to get past his glasses and into his eyes, wiping at it with both hands.

"Sh-Sharon! What are you doing here?" she spluttered, a hand pressed to her sternum. Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she set her porcelain teacup down on its saucer before turning around in her seat to face the other actress.

"What, can't an old friend visit?" Vermouth pouted, pulling up another chair from an empty table in the mostly vacated café. She dropped into it, somehow managing to make even that look graceful with deceitful ease, and grinned at Yukiko with nary a side glance for Yuusaku.

"Friend? How can you still call yourself my friend that after you gagged me, tricked my son by pretending to be me, and tried to kill the girl who can cure him?" Yukiko had risen out of her seat at this point to glare down at the blonde woman, barely-restrained fury contained in every syllable.

"Please, Yukiko, that has nothing to do with us."

"I think you should explain why you're he–" Yuusaku started, only to be cut off by Yukiko.

"Not now, Yuusaku! This has nothing to do with you!"

"But–"

"I would think my son has to do with me!" she continued.

"Not right now. After all, I'm here for one reason." Vermouth stood up to meet Yukiko eye-to-eye, the latter squashing down the reflex to take a step back.

"And what would that be?" She kept her tone even and hands still, watching as Yuusaku knocked a spoon off of the table and reached down for it.

"Why, to go shopping, of course!" Clamping her hands down onto Yukiko's shoulders, the criminal smiled enthusiastically at her.

"Did you not hear what I was saying earlier? That happened not even a fortnight ago!" Yukiko exclaimed.

"Eh, weeks, days, years, hours – they all run together after a while. So, what about it?"

"Just to go shopping? No."

"But they just opened that new mall! And you're the only person I know who has as great of taste in clothing and accessories as I!"

"No."

"There's a designer shoe sale."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" Yukiko squealed, facing lighting up. Vermouth released her, and slinging an arm across each other's shoulders they took their leave to go shopping.

"Have I ever told you that you're the best frienemy ever?" stated Yukiko.

"The best." Vermouth smirked.

"Eh . . ." Yuusaku stared dumbfounded after them, gaping and holding his handgun after having unstrapped it from around one of his ankles.

"Yes, hello, is this the police? There's a customer here who just pulled out a firearm," the cashier of the café spoke into the telephone.

A/N: This is how I imagine Yukiko and Vermouth's friendship. When they're not getting down to serious business they meet up to partake in snacks at cute restaurants and to go shopping. After this they'll probably visit a bakery and share a slice of rich chocolate cake before somehow immediately after getting involved in and being on opposite sides of some terrorism plot wherein at the heart of is Conan. Or something. Sorry for not uploading recently, but I've been insanely busy, hardly eating or sleeping, and working on multiple large installments.