A/N: On with the story :) I actually had to move some stuff around here, but it was getting a little lengthy. Thanks for the reviews, I'm glad that you guys liked the ending of the last chapter ^^

Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT.

Leo was shoved against the wall, his shell smacked against it dully, his breath escaped in a gasp and the point of a sai pressed against the underside of his throat. A strong hand was wrapped around his neck, holding him pinned against the metal wall. His gray gaze met an angry amber one. Leo swallowed and he felt the sai dig deeper against his reptilian skin, but not hard enough to draw blood. Raph's eyes were ablaze with anger, fear, surprise, betrayal, and all sorts of other negative emotions. Leo could feel the need clawing inside him, whispering for him to get back to Katherine's body. He fought it off with a thought, it was mostly sated and it would not fight so much now that Katherine was dead. Raphael, however, was a far more pressing problem. Leo blinked, the need faded to the back of his mind. His brother was shouting in his face, demanding answers. He slammed Leo against the wall.

"What the hell did you do, Leo?!" He reiterated, this time it was angry and less questioning.

Leo's breath escaped in another gasp and Raphael pressed harder with the sai, drawing a rivulet of blood. Leo felt the warm bead of liquid run down his neck gently. He closed his eyes and slowly opened them, his mind racing for anything that would calm his brother down.

"Why the hell did you do it?!" This time he asked a different question, one that Leo might be able to answer without sounding like a monster.

"She tried to kill me, Raph. She trapped me in a room and tried to burn me alive." Leo gasped, forced to barely move his mouth, lest the sai's blade pierce his flesh. Raphael stared at him, going still for a moment. "How did she end up tied down like that? Why did you kill her? You coulda' just done what we always do, Leo."

"Dammit, Raph, I-I-I snapped. I didn't know what to do, my mind just… it went blank and the next thing I knew…" Leo trailed, glancing at the body. He was getting better at lying. Raph was quiet, which was good for the moment. Leo swallowed again. "Raph, please, lower your sai."

His brother hesitated, but he complied and released his hold on Leo, taking a step back and breathing heavily. He dropped his sai and doubled over, resting his hands on his knees. He couldn't believe it. Leo had killed someone. Leo had killed. Leo was supposed to be the calm one, the levelheaded one. He was the one with the compassion and control and restraint. This wasn't supposed to happen. Raph couldn't believe it. He glanced up at the sound of something ripping and saw Leo standing over the body, cutting at the tape with the same bloody knife he had used to stab the woman.

"This isn't right, Leo."

"I know." He replied softly.

Leo turned to regard his brother but a fist struck his face first. Leo's head whipped back and he stumbled, having to grab the table for support. He shook his head and straightened, raising his gaze to Raph's. He ignored the blood that streamed gently from the corner of his mouth.

"What the hell is your problem? You killed her! You tied her up and killed her!" Raphael shouted. "I know what happened, both with her and with LH, but this… that ain't no reason t'fucking kill someone, dammit!"

"She was going to kill me, Raph."

"That don't explain jack shit, Leo. Plenty of people have tried t'kill us b'fore! What makes this any different?!"

"I killed the Shredder once, didn't I?" He regretted it as soon as he said it. Raph's fist struck him in the side of jaw and his head whipped to the side, he took the hit.

"That was a different fucking story, Leo. He was the damn manifestation of evil."

"Anyone who murders helpless people is just as evil as him."

"Does that make ya evil too?"

Leo remained silent for a moment. "She wasn't helpless." He then turned back to her body, cutting the rest of the restraints and carrying her outside of the warehouse. Leo knew he had to get it into Raph's head that—that everything was going to be fine. That Leo was still the caring brother and wasn't a complete monster. He knew he was a monster, just not a complete monster. He walked over to the car he had stolen and shoved her limp form into the driver's seat. He then grabbed a lighter out of one of her pocket's and tore off a piece of her shirt. He opened the gas tank of the car and placed the rag on the edge of the tank. He flicked the lighter to life.

"What are you doing?" Raph asked from behind him, his voice was cold, but seemed subdued.

"Erasing." Leo said as the rag caught fire. He tossed the lighter away and sprinted, grabbing Raph's arm and yanking him along.

Leo felt pain rise as he ran, some was physical. He had hoped that none of his brothers would ever find out about his… pastime. He now knew, he would have hell to pay for being careless tonight.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Naito had not moved for days. He was hungry. He was parched. He was in pain. He was worn and tired. The wounds on his hand had managed to close, but they were incredibly sensitive. Naito had no idea what had come over him. He didn't know what had compelled him to save Donatello. He didn't regret it either for some odd reason. He lost his only weapons in the act, but it didn't bother him as much as it should have.

He stretched his neck as he sat with his back to a stone wall and yawned. He was pretty tired. His eyes fluttered shut as he thought of how he had saved Donatello. He was a hero. Like the ones they talked about in the stories. He had overheard Splinter telling the turtles the fairy tales. He liked the one about a kingdom that was ravaged by a dragon. The dragon had demanded the sacrifice of the princess or the sacrifice of any other woman once a month. The princess had eventually given herself to the dragon to save her people, but a brave knight had arrived just in time to slay the dragon before the princess was eaten. Naito sighed contentedly. He was like the brave knight. He had saved the little turtle before it drowned. He was a hero.

His eyes snapped open and he turned at the sound of splashing footsteps. His eyes darted to the right and his gaze narrowed. All thoughts of brave knights and dragons quickly disappeared from his mind. Leo. The little blue masked turtle was walking down the dark tunnel, towards Naito, though he hadn't seen him yet. Two small swords were sheathed to Leo's shell. Leo looked somewhat lost, but Naito knew what Leo was looking for. He knew where Leo was going.

The turtle passed him and Naito slowly stood before stepping out of the shadows, behind Leo. The turtle turned around and froze at the sight of Naito. A gasp escaped Leo's open mouth. The look of horror on his face betrayed his fear. He couldn't remove his stare from Naito.

It was like looking into a mirror.

Naito's gray gaze narrowed and was transfixed on Leo. His emerald-green skin peeked through the layer of muck that coated his body. His shell had a few more scrapes and scratches, but it was identical to Leo's. His hands were both three-fingered and without claws. Naito glared daggers at his twin brother. Leo could only stare in reply.

"You left me to die."

Leo didn't respond to that. Naito trembled angrily.

"Why?! I'm your brother! We shared the same egg! Do you remember nothing?!" Naito snapped, he could feel his pent-up misery and loneliness finally finding some release. Leo remained silent.

"Will you answer me?!" He screamed.

"You were a monster." Leo finally whispered.

Naito froze at that. Tears streamed from his eyes—one was gray and the other was milky white.

"You're the monster. You abandoned me. You left me to starve. I deserved as much of a family as you did! Instead, you gave me rotten food and left me! I almost died!" Naito shouted back, he could feel his throat go raw with emotion.

Leo glared, not enjoying being yelled at. "You left us first! You were our big brother and you left us! When I found you, I thought you were a monster! You always hid in the shadows and you always used your claws! I had to go! You would've tried to eat me!"

Naito felt an intense burning anger clawing inside of him. His sight filled with red and he screamed his rage. He leapt at his brother. Leo gave a startled cry and tore his wooden katanas free of their sheaths. Naito tackled Leo to the ground and they wrestled for grasp of the wooden weapons. Leo elbowed Naito and managed to whack one of the katanas into his twin's arm.

Crack!

Naito screamed as the bones snapped. He stumbled back and clutched his wounded right arm to his plastron. It hurt. It really hurt, but Naito had known far worse pain than that. Leo took the bait and swung at Naito. The unmasked turtle grabbed one of the weapons as he rolled aside, tearing it free from Leo's grasp. He stood and brought the weapon up to bear with his left hand. Leo ran at him and Naito realized how horrible his brother's defense was. Naito sidestepped a strike and tripped Leo. The blue masked turtle fell on his face and his katana rolled out of his grip. Naito leapt on his shell and raised the wooden katana above his head before bringing it down on the back of Leo's skull with a crack. He raised the blunt instrument again and brought it down with another cracking sound.

"You're the monster!"

Crack!

"Monster!"

Crack!

"Monster!"

Crack!

Blood splattered in heavy drops with each blow. It coated Naito's body and was seeping into the dirty water. He dropped the katana and it landed in the water with a small splash. Naito's shoulders shook and tears ran from his eyes. He tentatively placed his hand on his brother's shell.

Leo was dead. His brother was dead. Naito knew it. He knew what death smelled like. He knew what it felt like… to kill someone.

Naito hugged Leo's body close to himself despite the pain of jostling his broken arm. He cried. Tears mixed with blood. They streamed down the bloodstained blue mask. Streamed over vacant gray eyes. Naito screwed his own eyes shut and he fought the tears that came. He slowly opened his eyes, both were silvery gray. Both were able to see the nightmare before him.

He could see with both eyes that he had killed his twin brother, the only person he had ever loved.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Raph watched his older brother carefully as they sat in Don's lab. Leo sat on a stool while Don fussed over his broken hand. His gaze rose to meet Raph's. Raphael glared him down. Leo felt it deep inside of him. The need was demanding penance. Payment. Katherine's kill had been unsatisfying. Leo smothered it, he needed to stay calm. He didn't want to be calm, but he needed it. Raphael knew he had killed. That was enough to make him panic.

Raphael looked like he had thought something over; Leo could see the look of determination in his eyes. Leo turned back to Don, who scolded him before leaving the room to get something from Mikey. As soon as Don left, Raph spoke, keeping an eye on the door and an eye on Leo.

"Leatherhead told me what happened. Why didn't ya tell us? We could've helped ya. You wouldn't have killed that girl if ya had, Leo. I know it."

"It was self-defense, Raph. Don't get so worked up about it." Leo lied. His brother stared for a moment. "You killed someone." He hissed. "You tied her to a table!" He spat in a whisper.

Leo weighed his words carefully before replying. "It was the only way to stop her. She would have killed me or any of you if she had lived. She was dangerous, Raph. I-I admit… the memory… So much pain. Ever since the accident, Raph, I haven't been myself. I was able to control it all these years, but after seeing it again, I just… needed to get it all out." It was a sort of half-truth, but Leo needed to get Raph off his shell.

Raphael stared at him, scrutinizing. He relaxed and leaned back, taking Leo's words as a confession. "You know, Don and Mikey are gonna' freak when they find out you killed someone."

Leo's gaze hardened, his need resurfaced. "You can't tell them." He said quickly, his voice was laced with danger. Raph looked startled at that, but his eyes narrowed. "Please don't tell them." Leo said in a softer
voice, shoving his need back down.

Raphael's hands clenched into fists. "They deserve to know, Leo. You need help. How else are ya' gonna' deal with yer' past the next time you remember somethin'? By killing people? That ain't right, Leo, and you know it."

"It was a onetime thing, Raph. I didn't have a choice."

"Everyone has a choice, Leo."

Leo thought that one over for a moment. He didn't have a choice. The need inside of him made sure of that. Killing was like a drug that kept pulling him into its sweet embrace. Even if he could stop, Leo knew he didn't want to. He liked the control it gave him, even when he lost his own self-control. It was exhilarating. How could he stop? The answer was simple. He wouldn't.

"Maybe, when you're face with a situation like the one I was faced with, you'll understand. I just hope you never have to face a situation like that."

Raphael was silent for a moment. Leo took that as his opportunity to drive it home. "Once more, Raph, please don't tell them. For their sake, if not mine."

"Fine, Leo. For them. But it doesn't end here. You need to open up, dammit. You need to tell us about the accident. You need to tell us what happened. All we know is that you came home late one night covered in blood and shit after being missing for three days. You changed after that, Leo, and I damn well need to know why. That's the condition. I'll keep your secret, if you tell me what went down those three days you were missing."

Leo frowned and dropped his gaze to the floor. That was a troublesome request, considering what had happened. His brothers didn't know anything. Nothing. They didn't need to know more than that. However, Leo knew he needed to come up with something to appease Raphael. He glanced up to meet his brother's gaze. Funny. A few weeks ago, Leo would have been reduced to tears at the thought of his dead twin. Maybe that wasn't such a good thing, but it helped when conversation turned to the "accident". He didn't like talking about it with his brothers, but he didn't have much of a choice now. He needed to just live with the deal that Raph was offering him.

"Alright, but I get my say in when I talk about the past and when I don't."

"As long as ya' tell me somethin' by the end o'the week—and it isn't bull shit—then I'll respect that."

Leo nodded and they remained in silence for a moment. Don entered and offered his eldest brother 'the look'. He leaned against the counter. He shook his head and sighed. "Your hand should heal fine in a few weeks. So, thank whatever deity you believe in that your mutant genes will speed the healing process. I'm not even going to ask how you fell through a sky light and broke your hand when you landed on a refrigerator. I do expect you to not use it for anything. Nothing, Leo. No training with it. No eating with it. No video games with it. No cooking. No climbing." Don droned on.

"You can't even wipe your butt with it when you go to the restroom!" Mikey quipped from the doorway with a grin. Don closed the door in Mikey's face and continued. "Also, I expect full compensation for taking care of your continued stupidity. I mean, seriously? How does one fall through a sky light and land on a refrigerator with your hand after twenty years worth of ninja training?"

Leo offered a shrug. Raph had come up with the alibi despite Leo's protests. The door opened with a click, swinging open to reveal Mikey standing there grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I thought you didn't want to know, Donnie."

The genius crossed his arms and sighed. "It was a rhetorical question, Mikey. Please go finish my coffee." He said before closing the door again. Mikey's psychotic grin was creeping him out.

"Anyways, Leo, keep everything I said in mind. If you don't use your hand, you should be fine in a few weeks. So, definitely no surface runs until then, got it?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, I got it, Don." He glanced at Raph who was staring him down like a hawk eyeing a pigeon.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Naito stumbled through the sewer water, splashing noisily as he moved. His broken arm dangled at his side, but he could already feel it healing. After spending eight years damned with pain, he was thankful for the quick heal. It was rare to catch such a lucky break in the hostile environment of the sewers. A broken arm would have meant death a year ago, even a month ago. He was following a familiar trail back to Leo's family, although he was uncertain of what he would do when he got there. He now wore Leo's mask, belt, and weapons as he made his way through the damp darkness. He wore them so he wouldn't lose the precious items.

He took a step and tumbled forward when there was nothing beneath his foot but air. He released a terrified cry as he fell. He snapped his eyes shut, his heart leapt to his throat and pounded painfully as he fell. Tumbling end over end, his broken arm was blazing with pain. The air whistled by him. Something wrapped around his left arm and it was nearly wrenched from his shoulder when he came to a jarring stop. Panicked gasps escaped his throat as he hung suspended above churning water. He looked up; his eyes glowed as he stared at what had saved him. A thick steel cable was wrapped around his arm. He must have snapped it and it recoiled by snapping around his arm. Naito hung there, his right arm was broken and his left arm was nearly immobile. How was he supposed to move? He knew no one would save him; he'd been alone for years. Of course nothing could help him. Nothing but luck. He seemed to have some of that.

Naito steeled his gaze and with a grunt of effort, he pulled with his left arm by bending his elbow. Muscles screamed in protest but he was moving up. Naito swung his broken arm and nearly blacked out from the pain as he snagged his hand one of the cables. He pulled with both arms and felt tears of pain streaming from his eyes. His vision filled with black spots but he forced himself to continue. He heaved himself up again, pulling with all of his might. He could see a shelf just a few feet up. He could make it.

Naito's gray eyes searched the wall he hung by for hand holds and he sighed in relief as he found one. He froze. Either he had to use his right arm to hang from the cable or he had to use it to reach out for the hand hold. Either way, it was going to hurt a lot. He felt his breathing quicken and he swallowed before nodding to himself. He reached out with his left arm and screamed as his broken arm took on all of his weight. He managed to slip his left hand into the crack between two bricks and shifted his weight to his left arm. He released a deep breath and began climbing; wincing each time he used his right arm to stabilize himself. The cable dragged below him, it was still wrapped around his left arm. His left hand finally found the flat ground of the shelf and he pulled himself up, fighting the pain as he did so. He rolled on the shelf, panting. Naito untied his left arm and the cable slid off the shelf.

Naito dared not look over the shelf to see the fall he had nearly suffered.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Leo sat on the couch, staring blankly at the television. Raph, sprawled on the couch next to him, flipped through the channels with a dismal expression. His eyes were more focused on Leo than they were on the television. It was close to midnight, but Leo didn't want to sleep, or at least his need wasn't interested in letting him sleep. He wanted Raph to leave him alone. Nearly twenty-four hours spent with Raphael not more than a few feet away the entire time was driving him stir crazy. Leo was now ignoring his younger brother and trying to act as dull as possible, but Raph wouldn't cave and find something more interesting to do. Of course he wouldn't. He had seen Leo kill someone.

The older turtle blinked and noticed that the television screen was off. He turned to Raph and noted the sour look on his face. "Your face is going to stay like that if you don't stop." Leo commented dryly. Raph snorted. "I ain't worried about my face, Leo. When are ya' gonna' talk about somethin' serious instead of tryin' t'smooth talk yer' way outta' things?"

"I'll talk when I'm ready, Raph. We already established the conditions of this deal, remember?"

Raph glared and Leo shrugged.

Leo stood up and stretched, Raph stood up quickly in response, as if expecting Leo to run. The older turtle rolled his eyes at that. It would have been a stupid idea. Leo walked around the couch and towards the pool in the center of the lair. Raphael followed closely, dogging him the entire way. Leo lowered himself to the ground in front of the pool slowly, using only his left hand. He crossed his legs and bowed his head while resting his hands palms up on his thighs. He took in a deep breath and relaxed. He cleared his mind and focused, closing his eyes. He focused on his innermost thoughts. His heart began to slow, as did his breathing.

Raphael stared at Leo with a bored expression. He sighed and turned towards the kitchen. He walked over and retrieved a beer from the fridge before sitting at the kitchen table. He turned the chair—making it squeal as the wooden legs rubbed against the stone floor—to face Leo and stared at his brother while chugging his beer noisily. Leo ignored the passive aggressive taunts.

He relaxed and eased his body into a meditative slumber, leaving only a part of his mind awake enough to think. He needed a story to tell his brother. It didn't have to be real, but he needed it to make sense. Leo had no intention of telling Raphael the truth. The truth was far too dangerous for any of his brothers to know. Only one other person knew, and would definitely not tell them—at least Leo hoped so.

He thought it over. Leonardo could tell parts of the truth. Parts. He could tell Raphael that he had been trapped in that chute that had given him his fear of heights. He could say that he'd been trapped in there for a few days. It was another half truth. Leo found himself telling those a lot lately.

Leo mulled it over. Thinking back on it, he had to admit that he had been really tough for an eight year old. Of course, he had lived off of nothing but rats and bugs for years and was faced with real survival challenges. He had never had clean water to drink. At first that had nearly been the end of him. Infection and disease had set in and made him weak. His mutant genes, the ones that had cursed him for so long, had actually saved him. The tore through the illnesses and absorbed them into his immune system. At least, that was the assumption. He had never gotten sick after that. He had to admit that he had never sneezed or coughed as a result of illness.

That hardship had made him strong. He removed those thoughts from his mind and delved deeper, digging through memories.

After about an hour of meditating, Leo opened his eyes and glanced in Raphael's direction. His younger brother had fallen asleep. Leo couldn't help but smile at the sight of Raph leaning back in the chair with an empty bottle of beer hanging loosely in his hand. His eyes were closed and his face was relaxed. Leo slowly rose to his feet and approached Raph silently.

No matter his past, Leo loved his brothers. He had loved his twin unconditionally, but he had snapped. After spending so much time alone and suffering, it had only been a matter of time before he had. He knew it now. If he didn't kill, he might repeat the same mistake. He might snap. He might hurt one of his brothers. So he killed. That was one of his many reasons. Yes, he enjoyed it, there was no doubt about that. It filled him with pleasure. It sated his need.

Leo sighed a breathless sigh as he pried the bottle from Raph's hand. He had not meditated in a long time. He was glad that he had now. It reminded him of what was important. His brothers. They were more important than his carnal desires.

Leo shook Raph gently. The red masked turtle's eyes snapped open and his amber gaze met Leo's gray one.

"You should sleep in your own bed, Raph. You'll be sore if you sleep in a chair." Leo said softly. Raph stared at him. "How can ya' be so damn calm?"

"I'm calm because I meditated." He said with a frown as he stood, knowing where this was headed.

Raph punched him in the jaw. It was expected. Leo took the hit. "Dammit, Leo. This isn't a fucking joke."

"I know that, Raphael. Talking about it won't solve anything, though. Just drop it." Leo spoke lowly, a hint of irritation entered his voice.

"You expect me to drop it?! You killed her! If anyone was gonna' kill someone, it shoulda' been me to make that mistake! You're s'posed t'be the calm one!"

Leo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Was that what this argument was all about? He opened his mouth to speak.

The sudden tapping of a cane interrupted his thoughts. Leo turned around to spot Master Splinter at the entrance of the lair with a pleasant smile on his face. "My sons, I did not expect anyone to be awake yet, but I am very glad to see you."

Leo bowed his head, relief was written plainly on his features.

"Welcome back, Master."

-.-.-.-.-.-

Leo waited, grinding his teeth. He knelt on a tatami mat in Master Splinter's room. He had been waiting for about an hour while Master Splinter talked with Raph. His younger brother was glad to finally speak with him after months of absense. Leo had greeted his father and managed to discreetly tell him that they needed to talk. Thankfully, Raphael was unable to notice it. So now, Leo waited for his father to finish talking with Raph.

True to his word, Master Splinter pushed open the screen door and closed it behind him. Leo kept his gaze on the floor as his father moved to sit on the tatami mat across from him. Leo felt his heart thump heavily in his chest. He swallowed and met his father's eyes.

"Master..."

"Yes, Leonardo? What is it that you so wish to speak to me about?"

"I did it."

Master Splinter's ears flicked back and his brows furrowed. "You did what, my son?"

"I killed."

A/N: So... anything you want to say or ask, please review :) I really like reviews