Why hello everyone, long delays, I know. I've been fighting writers block, my person life got hectic, I started a new job, excuses, excuses, I know. But...Erestor and Elrond had to bide their time. Fortunately for me, they're patient! OK. So I've had some suggestions, and they're GREAT so iluvaikka—Thank you, and here ya go :) I own NOTHING...but a dog...and currently he's sleeping, so he sure as heck ain't getting anything of this...except a nap...so Tolkien owns it...not me. I'm not sure if I've explained Silinde yet-He's my version of Celeborn's counselor, though I'm not sure where he came from, the name may have come from somewhere else...I'm kind of sick right now so I'm not working at 100% capacity...if you've seen Silinde somewhere else and I'm borrowing tell me! I'll change it/give them credit-he's really just a name dropped in...not using, using him. ^_^; There...may...be..some..._ sexy times...ahead...LE GASP. You've. Been. Warned. ENJOY :)
"Elrond, I was wondering if..." the other lord said, breaking off as he saw Erestor in the corner.
"Forgive me..I" he broke off again, mildly confused-as his understanding had been that Elrond wasn't going to be doing any work at all that day.
"No, it is alright, what can I do for you?" Elrond said, doing his utmost to repress both his irritation and his sexual desire.
"I was wondering if I could lull you outside for a ride in the woods this lovely afternoon" Celeborn said with a soft smile.
Part of Elrond's mind raged, screaming 'absolutely not' and a brief scene rose in his mind, of him throwing Celeborn out out of his office and deny him entrance for a month for his irritating, untimely interruption. But he knew he couldn't deny him-he was family, for one, he wouldn't get to see him for a long time, for another, not to mention that basic propriety would never allow for him to decline the invitation of so important a guest. "Of course" he said, in a polite tone. He turned around, and sent Erestor a secret smile, with a matching glimmer in those oh-so sneaky gray eyes. "We will finish this, later, Erestor, yes?" he asked.
Elrond's tone caused a deep shudder all down his spine, burrowing in his belly, filling him with the strangest anticipation. "Yes, of course, My Lord. I shall see you this evening" he replied, very impressed with himself for how even, and icy his voice seemed, when inside he could barely stand still.
"Shall we then?" Elrond asked, letting out a soft breath as he followed Celeborn out of the office and down the hall.
Erestor couldn't help himself then, as he heard their voices move off down the hall, he hugged the book to his chest and did a little spin across the room.
The voices in his mind, the black cloud of pain would rise again, and Erestor knew he would be flung back into the pit, but for now-there was only Elrond. The warrior turned lord could protect him, from everything, would protect him, from anything.
Erestor suddenly felt that his long standing awareness of every single thing around his person at all times, in such acute detail, was actually a good thing. Normally, this skill, honed from years of needing to know how much he was infringing on those around him, how slow he was working, and how disgusted his fellows were with him, now...he was aware of other things.
He felt how hard he was suddenly shaking, from head to toe, not really shaking, not with cold, shock, blood loss, or fear...but trembling, like a little frightened bird. He felt his shuddering breath, he felt his heart thundering in his chest, his teeth rattling together ever so slightly. He was sharply aware that his hair was tousled, heaped slightly to the right from Elrond's gripping fingers. He was aware of the the hard leather pressing on his thumb, pinky finger, ring finger and middle finger, while he felt the rough paper clenched on his fore-finger-as the book, the last thing Elrond had held before him, hung loosely at his side.
He felt the way his robes hung on his frame, the slight rumble and roiling of whatever emotions had become corporeal in his belly, he felt the way the material skimmed across his legs.
Most delightful of all, as Erestor closed his eyes he could feel soft wet patches on his neck, a tiny stinging at the base of his throat where half-elven teeth had staked their claim. He was strongly aware of the air against the drying tip of one pointed ear, all undeniable, perfect signs, that Elrond had so very recently been attached to him in the most intimate of ways.
He smiled widely, opening his eyes, he hugged the book again as he did another spin around the office, unable to even stand, standing still. He was jarred out of spin, out of thoughts, and slightly out of his happy, indifferent place when he heard someone clearing their throat from the door way.
He whipped around, eyes wide open, shock written across his usually stoic face as he took in Glorfindel's broad figure looming in the door, leaning against the jamb. "I knew you loved your books, Erestor, but to dance with one as if it were a lover?" he asked with his usual warm hearted smile on his lips.
Erestor glared sharply at him for a moment, but the slight hiss of pain in his throat caused a tiny smile to take his own lips, regardless of the Seneschal. "It is a very good book" he related sharply.
"I see" the warrior said, stepping into the office, stepping closer he looked at the cover. "The Layering of Ferns, and the Flowering Plants Found Underneath Them in Lower Middle Earth?"he read lightly, a brow lifted in amusement.
"I am an elf-I do have the right to value plant life-don't I?" he returned, lifting his nose to the air, giving Glorfindel his patented 'I'm better then you and you know it' glare.
Glorfindel-who always seemed immune to it, just smiled back. "I suppose you are-but is there a reason you are valuing it by dancing with it in Elrond's office when the aforementioned elf is not presently accounted for?' the seneschal returned, just as neatly, just as casually.
"He was here up until a minute ago, I'll have you know. And I was just going to my own office" he replied not really sure why he was feeling so friendly with the large warrior. There had always been something between them though, come to think of it, (Elebreth praise his constant awareness yet again) Glorfindel had always been less hostile towards Erestor then the other warriors-even going as far as to defend the counselor outright. Glorfindel seemed to almost understand the nature of Erestor's job and how that effected him.
"Well. Then. I'll leave you to your books-but do you know where Elrond went?" the warrior asked, shaking his head with an amused chuckle-not of mocking but almost amused in a happy sort of way? Maybe? Perhaps?
"He went riding with Celeborn" Erestor replied, feeling a little less solid on his feet, a little less sure of himself.
But even as Glorfindel left, where normally he would be violently upset for this, he would have heard Glorfindel's words and laughter as mocking, painful, horrifying and undignified but now...he just heard amusedness...and passed it off as Glorfindel's, having nothing to do with him...
But he certainly did not want to wait around for anyone -else- to see him in this state.
Still unable to keep the grin from his face he shut and locked Elrond's office door, pelting into his own office, he threw himself into his desk chair.
He felt the oddest feeling building from the bottom of his heart, everything was bright and warm. The world was so close, and all around him and he wondered for a moment if that is what happiness felt like.
Erestor stood in front of his mirror gazing at his black robes, his severe once more tamed dark hair. His mind had managed to convince him 70%...maybe even seventy-five, that Elrond -really- cared about him, really liked him, really felt attracted to him...for some good reason, that Erestor would never understand...Elrond. Really. Wanted. Him.
Only now...with his work day done...and any and all discussions with Silinde finished for the day...he had to decide what to do now.
Elrond's words echoed in his head 'we will finish this later'...which meant that Elrond wanted to keep going. But now...he had to decide what to do, where to go...He certainly had no intentions of going to the Hall of Fire. Though he felt, for the first time in his life, that he had a good reason for going there-Those damned, haunting gray eyes, those careful, deliciously talented fingers, warm lips, so deceptively innocent and calm, capable of delivering the most powerful and convincing oration, but also of the softest and most lascivious moans and pleas.
Erestor shook his head frantically, now was NOT a time for these types of thoughts. If Elrond WAS in the hall of fire, which Erestor had no intention of going to, he would certainly require that they keep their usual ways of acting-at least for the time being. He wouldn't want anything of their relationship public until he had time to speak to his children-at the very least. Perhaps not ever, and while that thought planted some soft seed of doubt somewhere in his mind, Erestor was still too distracted by the problem of finding Elrond, to pay too much attention to it at present.
At any rate, the need to keep up appearances was enough to keep Erestor from the Hall of Fire, because he never went there, ever, unless his presence was politically and /or diplomatically required. So showing up there randomly would definitely generate conversation.
The problem though-was that the Hall of Fire...was most likely where Elrond would be. With Celeborn and Galadriel and his varying other guests. He would be required to be there, as politeness would demand, and would probably, knowing Celeborn's tendency towards comfortable conversation, be there for a very long time. Which brought Erestor to the very heart of his dilemma.
If he went to the hall...that would be some sort of signal to Elrond that he was waiting for him, because he was nervous that his lord would be too afraid to bother him in his quarters. Erestor's great love of privacy, and his seemingly endless desire to be alone fueled that knowledge about him. He knew that Elrond would never, especially with things between them so precarious, want to try and pressure him, infringe on him in any way. So he wanted to give the lord some sort of signal that he was available, that he was waiting for him, and dare he think it? That he wanted Elrond to come to him.
But if the hall was out of commission then what? He could always go to Elrond's office...but there was almost no likelihood that Elrond would go there at all at this time of night so that seemed like an even more foolish idea then going to the hall...well, maybe no -more- foolish, but foolish in its own right. But where? Perhaps, the bold side of his mind caught onto his fantasies, he could go to Elrond's own quarters...yes, he had master keys to every room in the last homely house. He could go in and lay out on his bed, wait for his return-that would leave nothing to the imagination of what he wanted from Elrond.
But...no...that would be far too bold for anything. For anything that he would ever be capable of...no matter how much his imaginative mind dreamed of it. He looked at himself, squarely in the mirror...and pouted.
He wanted Elrond. He wanted to find Elrond. He wanted to be with Elrond. But...he had no way of doing that, no realistic way of going to get the beautiful half elf. That little voice, tiny voice, near non-existent voice in his head whispered to him to screw it all, to go to the hall and tell Elrond, to show Elrond, maybe if he acted bolder, made himself more assertive he would garner Elrond's attention once and for all.
He reared his chin, nodded once and marched purposefully towards the door, he reached out and laid his hand on the knob, turning it, he stopped cold in his tracks and froze.
No. He couldn't do that, it wasn't like him, and if he began to act more aggressive then Elrond would take away his assertiveness, his aggressiveness, the delicious violence that he had begun to love in the half elf. Besides. It was rude...it was lewd...it was so unlike him...and so...different then him, that he was sure that Elrond wouldn't appreciate it. In fact, he was certain Elrond would frown upon it, would dislike it whole heartedly. He closed the door, dropped his hand, and walked slowly back to his spot in front of the mirror.
He ran his hands over his hair,and took a few steps away from the mirror and heaved an irritated sigh. How badly he wanted to go and find Elrond, to be with him! But then...he ran the risk of looking like an impatient school boy...Oh goodness! That was exactly he was!
He took a long deep breath, eager to cool himself down, slow his racing thoughts, and try to regain his calm-calm he hadn't seem to have had for the last 3 weeks. 'He loves me for myself' he told himself, firmly, 'and I am most certainly not a school boy' he began..but the other, more insidious voice told him that he was a decisive elf, and that this sort of foolish indecisive behaviour created an irritating creature that was not the person that Elrond loved.
He pushed himself away from his mirror and went into his small bathing chamber, scooping up a cloth and dipping it into the cool water that lay pooled in the porcelain basin that lay on his counter top. He wiped his face several times and then wrung the cloth out carefully, laying it in his fastidious manner in its place, he dipped his long fingers in the water and smoothed his already smooth hair back from his face once more.
Taking a long, deep, shaky breath he nodded at himself once in the mirror. "he does care for me" he murmured aloud, and then turned and walked back into his bedroom. "why is that so damned hard to believe?" he demanded, louder, as he shook his head, eyes closed, in pained defeat.
"Because" that deep voice echoed in his ears and a soft hand landed on his hip, as a warm, solid body pressed against his from behind.
"You are much too tense, and deeply introverted for all of that" he whispered quietly, his breath dusting across one of Erestor's pointed ears. His other arm winding entirely around the smaller elf's lithe waist.
Erestor gulped, in his distraction he hadn't noticed the door open. He let his head fall back onto his shoulder, letting his eyes flick shyly, nervously to glance up into the gray of his loves. "Tense?" he asked, confused.
"mhm" Elrond groaned lightly in affirmation, pressing the softest of kisses to Erestor's forehead.
Elrond pressed his palms against Erestor's hip bones, and swayed them back and forth in a soft and gentle rhythm, leaning forward he pressed his lips to Erestor's temple, and as Erestor leaned his head to the side, Elrond re-took his neck and pressed soft, gentle kisses to the column.
"Too tense" Elrond repeated between his kisses.
"Does this happen often?" Erestor managed to get out, almost amused at the mock semblance of a conversation.
"Of course. I see it in the healing wings often enough" Elrond replied, conversationally as he left his lips against Erestor's cold flesh as he spoke.
"How tragic" Erestor murmured.
"mhm" Elrond breathed again, turning his lover around he let one hand tangle in Erestor's hair, and wordlessly he crashed their lips together. When Erestor gasped he all but forced his tongue into his mouth, tasting and taking with abandon. Erestor wasn't sure what to do but Elrond curled his tongue around Erestor's and encouraged the other elf to reciprocate and nervously, he did. Elrond tasted like...nothing Erestor could consciously place, but that could easily be due to the fact that Elrond was stealing the very thoughts from his mind before he could have them.
Elrond backed him up towards his bedroom, and suddenly, Erestor was once again intrinsically aware of everything around him and broke the kiss as suddenly as flicking a switch. "What..." he began and Elrond tried not to flinch.
"Forgive me...I should not have...assumed" the lord said, softly.
"No..I..I should have assumed" Erestor retorted quickly, breathing hard, his chest heaving as his lust mixed with anxiety and made it damn near impossible to take the simple action.
"Never. Erestor. I told you already. I will not push you." Elrond said, carefully determined.
They stood like this for a long couple of minutes, Erestor standing framed in his door jamb, and Elrond at least a foot away.
"What. Are you so afraid of?" Elrond asked finally, in a voice full of the same careful determination-he knew that he was worried, afraid of something but never saying what.
Erestor gulped and looked up at Elrond, there was a shyness in him that was being tainted by that blackness, his inky poison had contorted and he wondered what it was about Elrond that changed this in him.
"Tell me. Erestor" he said quietly, insistently.
"No." He said, his lips pressing tightly together.
"Why not." Elrond asked quietly.
"Because." was the simple reply.
"This isn't like you" Elrond retorted, sharply.
"No." again, simple and quiet.
Elrond's jaw tightened and he nodded once. "And you will not tell me why?"
Erestor gulped and opened his mouth several times, closing it at last in defeat. He shrugged, weakly.
Elrond reared his chin and took a deep breath, letting it out in a restrained sigh. "I respect that. Completely. So, let's talk." he said and took several steps backwards to the couch in front of the fire.
Erestor let out a soft sigh but followed him and sat down on the chair about 4 feet from the couch. "About what?" he asked, softly.
They talked, awkwardly, strained at first, but as they turned to subjects that they were both extremely comfortable the situation eased between them. Elrond felt as if Erestor was desperately trying to make everything the same as it had been-but Elrond refused to. He saw this for something that he believed Erestor was used to deflecting like this-if Elrond gave up, and stopped trying to win his heart, then it would prove to Erestor that he wouldn't love him. The healer in Elrond knew that it was a way for Erestor to prove to himself that Elrond loved him, because he was willing to push through all the fronts, and guards that Erestor was putting up. If Elrond could do that-then Erestor couldn't doubt it, there would be too much evidence for that.
So armed with this surety gathered Erestor into his arms as they talked, he touched Erestor's face and hands while they talked. He pressed kisses to his cheek, lips, and forehead when he affirmed what Erestor was saying. They laughed together and Erestor seemed to relax into his arms as time went along. It was growing late- but not too late when a sharp knock on the door sounded through the room.
Erestor sighed, heavily and closed his eyes. There was only one person, aside from Elrond that would bother him in his rooms this late at night. He held out his hand asking Elrond to stay silent and out of sight, his lord nodded once and Erestor went into his tiny parlour."Yes? Melpomaen?" he heard Erestor ask, and then the young scribe's voice went on for a long moment. And then Erestor released an irritated sigh.
He gave a directive, telling his young assistant to go to his office and retrieve some document or another and then he came back into the main room, smoothing his hands over his hair-a gesture that Elrond was fast coming to recognize as not just a nervous tic, but something that Erestor did purposefully, as if to soothe the rumpled thoughts in his brain more then the already smooth hair on his head.
"Is everything alright?" Elrond asked, as he stood up.
"Yes...well...not really, but it will be soon" He replied quietly.
Elrond simply lifted a brow to prompt him onwards. "There was an accident with some of the food intended for the next feast, as well as something with the wine...they're not really sure what to do and I need to look into some of our reserves to see what I can do..." he trailed off as Elrond's disappointment etched into every part of his face.
"Do you ever wish that we could be simple, ordinary people?" Elrond asked, with a soft smile.
"You. Have. No. Idea." Erestor said, a soft flash of something darker then simple agreement in his eyes.
Elrond nodded his head and sighed softly "well..." in that moment, Erestor looked at him and bit his bottom lip-hard. All night he had been stalling, and things had just begun to take a slightly more intimate turn, his confidence, dashed so sharply by the encounter with his bedroom door, had begun to restore itself slowly and now this. So, for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last 2 days, Erestor drew all his courage around him and smiled at Elrond. "Why don't you just stay here? I...I should not take too long in garnering the information that will be required, and after that it will be up the cooks and servers to make use of that information in their own unique ways...I...you..are...I mean...you are welcome of course, to leave if you wish but..." Erestor trailed off as Elrond stood up, grateful for Erestor's sweet, brave offer.
"I would love to stay here and wait." He assured him, laying a hand on his shoulder, then moving it slowly up to the side of his neck.
"I know that my words will take a long time to wash over you, but please, try to be less nervous...I am not angry for the way you are and I will not push you...I only do my best to honour your requests" Elrond said softly and leaned forward, kissing him warmly.
Erestor smiled as Elrond pulled away and settled himself back on the couch, leaning over to grab a book Erestor nodded once and then moved away, walking towards the door Elrond heard it open, and began to focus his attention on the words in front of him, when arms wrapped around him and he quite suddenly had a lap full of councilor. Erestor pressed his lips, hard, against Elrond's, this time initiating everything he seemed to take a shy, nervous delight in the fact that it was his tongue first in Elrond's mouth, that Elrond was sitting underneath him,stunned, and confused, shocked and utterly aroused. After a moment Erestor pulled away, stood up, and marched purposefully out the door, a smile playing his lips as Elrond looked after him, with unabashed delight etched onto every feature.