Pragmatic, Like a Colony of Wolves

by Mikauzoran

Kaito wins a mystery tour weekend trip in a prize drawing and ends up trapped on a bus with a bunch of teenage detectives. Bodies start to hit the floor and silliness ensues. He knew he should have just stayed home. Now with an extra chapter in which Shinichi tries to persuade Kaito to go to a soccer game. Kaito refuses, knowing that someone's going to get murdered.

2. Failing to Interpret What Comes Next

Mikau: Hi there, and Happy New Year! I hope it's an awesome one. Okay, so this isn't a continuation of Pragmatic. This is just another short crack fic in the same vein, so I decided to put them together. Sorry. I didn't mean to deceive you. And thank you so much to everyone who read and favorited Pragmatic. Your overwhelming support means a lot to me. Thanks as well to reviewers: Assasin8, Bree, Aniki-xvi, and Moonumb. Hopefully you'll enjoy this fic as well.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd allow Conan and the gang to have a day off every once in a while. They should be able to go on a nice trip every now and then without having to solve a murder.

…

Failing to Interpret What Comes Next

"I'm not going anywhere with you. Someone's going to get killed," Kaito protested.

"Kuroba, no one's going to get killed," Shinichi chuckled, waving the magician's concern away as if it were completely unfounded.

"Someone always gets killed when I'm around you," Kaito snorted, enlisting Hakuba's help. "Am I right?"

The Brit shrugged as he flipped the page in his complicated science journal. "I would have to say that you are 0 for twenty-seven, Kudo. The likelihood of someone dying if Kuroba accompanies you is very high."

"So? We could beat the odds," Shinichi urged.

"No," Kuroba replied flatly.

"What's the big deal? So someone gets killed? We solve the murder and move on," Hattori Heiji threw in his two cents.

"Ugh. You're missing the point," Kaito sighed. "Fine. I'll go if he goes." He pointed to Hakuba, knowing that the English gentleman would be hard to persuade.

"Perfect. Let's go, Blondie," Hattori chuckled, grabbing Hakuba by the arm and dragging him out of his armchair.

"W-Where are we going? Unhand me!" Saguru flailed.

Kaito face-palmed. "Soccer game between Big Osaka and the Tokyo Spirits. A whole stadium full of people to get murdered. I just know that there's going to be a bomber or someone's going to kidnap one of the player's family members or friends and then I'm going to be left by myself to watch the game while you three run off to solve the case. Why are you geniuses too dumb to notice the pattern?"

"I think they notice but just don't care." Saguru shrugged. "I'll watch the game with you."

"Great," Kaito sighed. "Just great."

…

Mikau: Okay, no more cracks about Conan's shinigami powers and how he leaves corpses in his wake. Well, not for a while, at least. Hopefully this at least got you to smile. Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful 2014.