What do we have here? Ah, yes! And now we give you the unscripted finale of The Mole: Saboteur's Island.
McHallyboo: Welcome everyone to the finale of The Mole: Saboteur's Island! It's been four months since we left the final three players stranded for their lives, err I mean, assigned them to take the final quiz on that island. Today, we will finally find out who the winner is! We will also finally discover the answer to the exciting, spectacular, unknown question: Who is the Mole?
Goombella: But I already know who the Mole is. It's Yoshi.
McHallyboo: WAIT HOW DO YOU- I mean, ahem. Why don't we introduce the previous executed players of the game, shall we?
Players: Yay!
McHallyboo: First on our list is Boo! The player who we intentionally executed first after being introduced as the expert of the game, in order to give the story a sudden twist of irony. Welcome back!
Boo: Are you kidding me? Is that why I was first executed? For irony?
McHallyboo: Of course not! *obvious chuckle*. Next is our second executed player, Rosalina! Since we couldn't get any of the other main princesses to play since they had already starred in the first season, we were stuck with selecting you, Rosalina. Personally I never played Mario Galaxy, so you weren't really an important character anyway. Sorry.
Rosalina: Oh, pooh...
McHallyboo: Now for our third executed player: Wendy Koopa! Honestly, you too. I don't know how you got chosen as a player on the show, but I think it had something to do with outside personal blackmail threats from your father, Bowser.
Wendy: Yeah, he's good at that kind of stuff.
McHallyboo: Yikes. Next we have Diddy, the fourth exec-
Diddy: YOSHI'S THE MOLE!
McHallyboo: Whoa, calm down Diddy! Because you're so rude I'm not even going to give you a formal introduction. Instead we have, Bobbery! Our fifth executed.
Bobbery: By golly, hello! Thankful to be back.
McHallyboo: I'm actually surprised you're even showing yourself on live TV. The Mushroom Kingdom Environmental Pollution Agency is probably after you after that little Chuckola-Cola moment of yours in Episode 5.
Bobbery: Well, I had been fined heavily and lost my job from that incident.
McHallyboo: Ahh, it's a hard knock life. Next, Goombella. Who also claims to know so well who the Mole is. *rolls eyes*
Goombella: Yeah! I caught that clue in Episode 3 about the B.L.T. challenge, pinpointed it to Yoshi, and then...
McHallyboo: Yeah yeah, enough speculating nonsense. Next, we have Luvbi. You went from being one of the most suspicious players to one of the least suspicious players in the game, according to the polls. Dunno how that happened.
Luvbi: Neither do I, unfortunately.
McHallyboo: We should have tried harder. Now, we will ask you guys one by one: who do you think the Mole is? We don't care about the winner, just throw in your votes about who you think the Mole is of the game. Starting with Boo.
Boo: Okay. Yoshi.
McHallyboo: Hmm...fair enough, Mr. Situational Irony. Rosalina?
Rosalina: I believe it is Yoshi as well.
McHallyboo: Errkay. Umm...Wendy, who is your pick on who the Mole is?
Wendy: I think it's Yoshi also!
McHallyboo: *looks at camera* You know. I'm just going to skip to the main part of the finale now, since all your votes are just so silly.
Diddy: YOSHI!
McHallyboo: Now, I introduce to you all: The Mole! (points to entering player)
Players: GASP!
Toadette: Hi guys, it's Toadette, the Mole! Well, at least from the first season that is. I just wanted to wish everyone good luck, and may the Mole be ever in your favor.
Goombella: A Hunger Games reference!
Players: Yay! (claps)
Luvbi: Wow, that was a longer appearance than you had in Episode 7 of this season.
Toadette: Yeah, I didn't really dig the tropical setting of this second season, so I just wanted to leave the game ASAP. Too pretentious...and sunny!
McHallyboo: Well, thank you very much Toadette. It was nice seeing you again.
Toadette: Okay... (winks at McHallyboo) Call me.
Players: ...?
Wendy: Are you guys...dating?
McHallyboo: IGNORE THAT. Okay, time to reaaallly find out who the Mole is. Are you guys ready?
Players: Yeah, whoo!
Diddy: YOSHI!
McHallyboo: SHUSH! To the doors!
(everyone turns to the three doors, excited)
McHallyboo: Okay, so behind these three doors are the final three players of the game! I will insert a key into each of these slots...LET GO WARIO GEEZ NOT YET...and when I say so, grab it and try to open your door.
Vivian: OKAY! Well, I hope I win! I really really really really hope I win this game! Oh my gosh, I'm so excited, I'm going to have a panic attack and maybe pass out in my locked door from utter super duper excitement! OH MY GOSH! YESSS! (LOUD SQUEAL)
McHallyboo: (mutters to self about not getting paid enough for the show) Aright guys, the keys are in. You can go ahead and try to open your doors.
(sounds of unlocking, the players watch intensely. Dramatic reveal music is playing loudly)
Wendy: It's, it's...
Bobbery: By golly!
Vivian: I...I won? OH MY GOSH YAY I'M LIKE SO HAPPY OH MY GOSH I NEVER BELIEVED IN MYSELF BEFORE IN THE GAME BUT NOW I SUDDENLY DO! I BELIEVE IN MYSELF! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYY-AHHH!
(Vivian jumps/falls out the window, shocking the players)
Goombella: Vivian, no!
Wendy: Well... what do we do now?
McHallyboo: Sigh...either we have to pay our camera producers to carry her back in here, which will cost us an inordinate amount of money, or simply sign a death certificate in her name. Honestly, I'm hoping for the latter since it'll require us less work.
Rosalina: Oh, pooh...
Boo: Can we just find out who the Mole is, pleaaaaaaaase...?
McHallyboo: Sure thing Boo!
Wendy: Yah! Pleaaaaaaaase...?
McHallyboo: Shut it Wendy! You're getting on my nerves with your whining. No one else is as whiny as you.
Wendy: What! Boo just said the same thing as me.
McHallyboo: Well, he's Boo, and you're, well, Wendy. You're already notoriously naggy and annoying.
Wendy: DAD!
McHallyboo: Geez stop, all right you win!...gee. How stressful does this finale have to be? Okay well, I will now reveal who the Mole is.
Players: Yay!
McHallyboo: Drumroll, everyone!
(everyone is excited, McHallyboo stares at them, blank)
McHallyboo: No, seriously! Someone drumroll!
Rosalina: Oh. (taps her hands in rhythmic pattern on her chair)
(Everyone watches. One of the doors clicks and opens up)
Wendy: It's, it's...
Bobbery: By golly!
Yoshi: Umm...guys... (comes out his door) Hi everyone. You got me.
Luvbi: Oh my gosh!
Diddy: YOSHI!
Goombella: I knew it! You were the Mole!
Yoshi: (confused) Huh? Oh, I'm not the Mole. What are you guys talking about? I lost the game.
Goombella: Oh...
Bobbery: Huhzatt...then it states it! It's Wario!
Wario: (exits his door as well) Nah. Sorry guys, I'm not the Mole either.
Boo: What...
Wendy: Wait a second...then who's the Mole?
McHallyboo: It's me.
Boo, Rosalina, Wendy, Diddy, Bobbery, Goombella, Luvbi: WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT?
McHallyboo: Yep, little did you know, I was the Mole of this game the whole time! Also known as El Topo, in Spanish! Tell that to your friends for Mole trivia.
Wario: That's also Mole in Italian!
Players: ...
Diddy: YOSHI!
Boo: The HOST WAS THE MOLE? How is that even logically possible? It breaks all laws!
McHallyboo: Well Boo, you should have thought about that beforehand. Not everything has to follow logic; maybe that's why you were executed so early in the game Boo, hm?
Bobbery: This is an outrage. I am going to punch somebody.
Goombella: Ugh, so I never suspected the Mole at all? I didn't know that someone besides the players could have been the Mole.
McHallyboo: Goombella, you shoulda have at least known the following: "Anything can happen in the Mole".
Goombella: Well, I was aware of that motto, but I didn't think it meant anything.
Diddy: YOSHI!
Luvbi: Well. At least elaborate on how the quizzes were even functional in this game. How could any of us have possibly voted for you on the quizzes?
McHallyboo: Why, that part is rather simple, really. I'll take a sample question from the first quiz, for example clarity:
Question 2: When did the Mole skydive from the plane during Air Combination?
-First
-Second
-Third
-Fourth
-Fifth
-Sixth
-The Mole did not jump from the plane
McHallyboo: As you see, the correct answer would have been, "The Mole did not jump from the plane". Because, factually, I did not jump from the plane
Luvbi: ...that is ridiculous...
Boo: You're ridiculous! How did you even go to the penultimate round not even knowing who the Mole was?
Luvbi: Umm, the real question here is, how the heck did Vivian even know to vote for McHallyboo?
McHallyboo: Good news guys! Vivian was found alive outside. She's back here to tell us how she did it...correction, she's not speaking comprehensibly right now. In fact, she's clearly unconscious. So let's just watch a video footage of her adventure in the game and see how she figured out who the Mole was. Aka, me. (wink).
VIVIAN'S JOURNEY
Vivian began the game clueless. Literally, clueless. She thought she was signing up for a job application when she signed up for the game. Forced into its chaos, she tried her best to function.
Vivian:I can't take this anymore! AHH!
The others thought she was weak. She was the least popular player of the group in the beginning, and the other females taunted her like high school bullies.
Rosalina: Ugh, why is she even here?
Wendy: She's such a loser.
But like a star, she rose to fame.
(flashback of Vivian riding on a star)
She was able to pick out McHallyboo after studying him during certain missions. Every time the players lost money in a game, she noticed McHallyboo snickering maniacally in the background.
Vivian: It can't be a coincidence! McHallyboo is the Mole!
She even caught McHallyboo stealing money from the physical team pot.
(flashback of the hotel in the middle of the night. Vivian wakes up and sees McHallyboo taking money from a large gigantic pot. McHallyboo says, "You didn't see anything..." before running off, baffling Vivian)
And Vivian was the winner of The Mole: Saboteur's Island.
Bobbery: Hmm. That was, needless to say, interesting.
McHallyboo: I shouldn't have stolen from that pot in the middle of the night.
Wendy: The pot was an actual pot? Wow.
Yoshi: So I assume that I scored really terribly on that final quiz then, McHallyboo?
McHallyboo: Yes Yoshi, you did quite atrocious on the final quiz. In fact, you got a negative score on the quiz.
Yoshi: NEGATIVE? How did I get a negative score?
McHallyboo: You forgot to answer one of the questions. Maybe you were panicked or stressed. Long story short, I shook my head at your stupidity and decided to give you a -1 for doing that.
Wario: Ouch.
McHallyboo: Wario, you got a score of 3, so I wouldn't be talking either
Yoshi: (snickers)
Rosalina: Well, what score did Vivian get on the final quiz?
McHallyboo: She got a score of 21.
Wendy: Wait, weren't there only 20 question on the final quiz?
McHallyboo: Yeah...
Players: ...
McHallyboo: ...
Diddy: YOSHI!
Luvbi: So what's next?
McHallyboo: ...hmm. Oh! Let's see, yes, so how did I sabotage the game? I did it in both very obvious and subtle ways that went largely unnoticed by the players! Hah, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but seriously, I didn't get suspected by the players at all. I was amazing. Let's take a look.
Sabotage of the Mole
Air Combination:
In the game's first mission, McHallyboo distorted his voice to sound like Yoshi's. Disguising as him, he said the combination in a complicated manner.
Flashback McHallyboo: "It's Yoshi! (tries to imitate Yoshi sound) The combination is eight, six, and four, repeat! Eight, six, and four, last one being four, first is eight, middle six...confirmed! (bursts into uncontrollable laughter)
Flashback Wario: "Umm, are you okay Yoshi?
Flashback Real Yoshi: "What? I didn't say anything."
Island Bash Party:
McHallyboo scared guests away at the party with his suggestive and provocative demeanor during the party, making them leave the island early.
Flashback McHallyboo: (talking to a girl Bob-omb) "Hey baby, is your fuse making me hotter or is it just me?"
Flashback Girl Bob-omb: "Erghpghgergphh I don't want to be here any more..."
Cocomero Coretto
McHallyboo sabotaged this mission, and he wasn't even present! He carved into the sand on Gelato Beach certain subliminal messages, such as, "emag eht egatobas (read this backwards)"and "Give up, you ape/ghost/nimbi/bob-omb/goomba". These subliminal messages successfully messed up the players.
Flashback Goomba: (sees message carved in sand) "Hmm...for some strange inexplicable unknown reason...I feel like sabotaging the game. Don't ask me why."
Flashback Diddy: "Okay, I won't ask you."
Race of the Rides
McHallyboo actually helped Yoshi and Luvbi around the park during the mission. He followed them in stalking, stylish manner.
Flashback Luvbi: Umm, why are you following us around McHallyboo?
Flashback McHallyboo: You're going the wrong way! The ride is this way!
Flashback Luvbi: Oh, silly me! Well, now we're definitely going to win and cost the team money! (chuckles) You know, it would be such an amusing thought if you were actually the Mole.
Flashback McHallyboo: (looks at camera) Wouldn't that be something.
Page 6
When the players had to guess the final journal entry of Vivian's, McHallyboo actually erased the page with his handy-dandy eraser.
Flashback McHallyboo: Good thing Vivian doesn't write in pen! Now people will suspect her instead of me! Muahahaa!
Flashback Goombella: (in background, pointing) Umm, why is McHallyboo doing a separate confessional over there in the woods?
Flashback McHallyboo: ...I gotta be quieter.
3 Questions Game
In the three questions game, McHallyboo actually bribed Yoshi with real money to answer some of his questions incorrectly.
Flashback McHallyboo: I have 500 coins right here. Guaranteed cash, Yoshi. Sabotage and you get it.
Flashback Yoshi: Okay!
Flashback McHallyboo: ...that was easier than I thought. I was gonna offer higher.
Hotel Lockdown
In the final mission of the game, McHallyboo sabotaged...psyched! He didn't sabotage. The Mole always has this habit of never sabotaging in the final mission of the game.
Boo: Wowww...
Bobbery: I must say though, those sabotages were better than I had originally visioned. I'm impressed!
Yoshi: That bribe was so unnecessary...
Diddy: YOSHI!
Goombella: Wait, so why did the earpiece malfunction on that roller coaster? That wasn't you?
McHallyboo: That, Goombella, is called a technological error. Also known as a red herring for people who think EVERY FRICKEN' LITTLE THING IS A PIECE OF SABOTAGE! (players are stunned, McHallyboo calms down)
McHallyboo: Ahem, sorry for that outburst. But yes, it was a technological fault.
Wario: Cool.
McHallyboo: And now guys, thank you players for playing this wonderful game! The finale is now over!
Wendy: What!
Rosalina: Oh pooh...
Boo: This finale is NOT over without the revealing of the hidden clues.
Diddy: YOSHI!
McHallyboo: FOR MUSHROOM'S SAKE, WILL YOU STOP SAYING YOSHI'S NAME! HE'S NOT EVEN THE MOLE!
Diddy: ...Yoshi.
McHallyboo: I'm really...gonna... (starts crumpling a piece of paper) ...strangle...obliterate...
Luvbi: (sigh) Someone play the video before we have an anthropoid mammal for dinner.
The Hidden Clues!
(aka the impossible hidden things that you're not supposed to find out until the end, making them kinda useless)
Episode 1: McHallyboo began on the island in the very beginning, delivering the game's intro speech. He was indeed on the island, or rather, the island was his. Saboteur's Island.
Episode 2: In Episode 2, McHallyboo was seen reading a magazine called, The Pattern of Death Will Be Broken. This was an edition of a personal favorite dieting magazine of Toadette's in the first season. In fact, the edition that McHallyboo was reading that moment, titled, "How to Choose the Right Salad Dressing to Obtain Those Thin Booty-licious Hips" was the same one that Toadette read before.
Episode 3: The initials B.L.T was said to stand for the sandwich, but those letters also could have stood for something else: a "Booty-Licious" Tomato. McHallyboo was eating a "booty-licious" tomato that episode, but unfortunately, offscreen, so nobody really saw it.
Episode 4: McHallyboo was the only person at the end of the episode to never get reunited with a loved one. The Mole, being cold-hearted, could never be near a loved one. And McHallyboo was the Mole.
Episode 5: McHallyboo didn't swim in the Jacuzzi, another sign of his cold-heartedness. Literally, the Jacuzzi was hot, and he dissociated himself from the other players.
Episode 6: The challenge 5 Become 1 was indeed a cold-hearted mission. McHallyboo designed that mission because he's, well, cold-hearted.
Episode 7: Okay, enough with the cold-hearted clues/jokes.
Episode 8: The final clue was in the hotel. What was the name of the hotel, seen in the final shot? The McHallyboo Hotel.
Luvbi: I thought the name of the hotel was Hotel Delfino.
McHallyboo: (awkwardly) Umm...well Luvbi, just cause the entrance outside says "Hotel Delfino" doesn't meant that that's its actual name. Duh. (under his breath) Phew, close save.
Luvbi: Mmhm.
McHallyboo: ANYWAYS, let's conclude this one heck of a finale! Vivian, how are you going to spend your money?
Vivian: (no response)
McHallyboo: I see, you're still unconscious.
Wario: Whoa. What happens to the money then? Can I keep it?
McHallyboo: No Wario. Hmm, I was thinking we could use some of the money to help us pay back for some of our budget overshoots. Do you know how much that equipment in the Sacred Pot mission cost us? A lot. Yoshi, what have you learned from this game?
Yoshi: What have I learned? That's a plethora of things. I learned that I should have signed up to be the Mole! It would have been much better.
McHallyboo: Hmm, well, save that for an alternate reality.
Rosalina: I truly, truly, loved this experience and would never trade it for anything in the world-
McHallyboo: Be quiet Rosalina, nobody cared about you. I would have rather had Peach or Daisy on this show, and neither of them are even smart!
Rosalina: Oh pooh...
McHallyboo: And don't you have like living-breathing stars to watch over right now or else the universe would collapse and explode? Why are you risking our lives this very second?
Rosalina: Yes.
McHallyboo: ...
Boo: I think I would have made it farther into the game if someone else was the Mole. I still don't buy the whole "host was the Mole" thing, sorry. Not even one bit.
McHallyboo: Well, I don't buy the fact that dead things can still speak. They should be dead and gone.
Boo: (twitch, twitch) You're a terrible host...
McHallyboo: You just realized that? Lol.
Wendy: So. Can the finale finish already? My dad's planning a blackmail to be in the third season.
McHallyboo: (spits out water) Third season? Oh gosh, you know how much time krisetchers would have to dedicate to that? And to know that he's not even a consistent writer! 5 months between updates. He'd feel too guilty. So he's entirely proud and grateful this second season came to life and is now complete.
Goombella: Who?
McHallyboo: Never mind.
Goombella: ...
McHallyboo: ...
(Bobbery punches McHallyboo suddenly)
McHallyboo: Ow! Hey, what was that for?
Bobbery: I warned you...
Luvbi: Well! Awkward pause ended.
McHallyboo: It sure is. Anyways, it was a pleasure hosting for you all and we hope you enjoyed this season very much! Thank you all very much and HAVE A GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!
Players: Yay!
Diddy: YOSHI!
McHallyboo: EXCEPT FOR YOU DIDDY! GOOD NIGHT!
And that was the unscripted, ahem, "actual" finale of The Mole: Saboteur's Island! Editing can do a lot, no? ;)
Thank you everyone for your reviews since the clues final chapter till now! It's really been an honor and a huge gift to be your writer! In a way, I can say, thank goodness it's over! McHallyboo was right: I was truly afraid I wasn't going to finish this xP
But you guys reading this and reviewing this story made this possible! I look back and read your comments and reviews with such reminiscence and happy feelings. At some points, the reviews and comments even turned into a message board xD I very much loved that! And I'm going to miss it all! WHAAA!
Yoshi: Stop crying!
McHallyboo: This is emotional for me too... (wipes tears)
Yoshi: -.-
Anyways, before I leave, two final gifts! First, a final journal entry from the Mole! It can be found on my profile and awkwardly accessible, due to the fact that the fanfiction site has currently disabled links to outside sites ): But don't worry, you can still read it hehe. The codeword for the entry: afinalword.
Also, the website has been fully restored, slightly renovated, and more complete than ever! :) Along with a completed mission list and added executions with music from the original first two seasons (random fact: making Bobbery's execution with that end music made me teary for some reason. I must be tired (genuine sniff)).
There's even a cool new intro video, as well as a finale video too! If you're interested in knowing the hidden clues in the intro, search for the image introhiddenclues. They're kinda obscure, for future readers who haven't read the story yet :) So take a look at The Mole: Saboteur's Island website on your way out!
Thank you guys so much, and MAY THE MOLE FOREVER FOLLOW YOU HOME!